


Freak Show

by Heather_Michelle



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Disorder, Asperger Syndrome, Clexa, College AU, F/F, Nerd Lexa, Nerd!Lexa, Shy lexa, Social Anxiety, clexa alternate universe, clexa au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-06-02 23:23:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 119,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6587362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heather_Michelle/pseuds/Heather_Michelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke and her two best friends since childhood, Raven and Octavia begin their first semester at Polis University. As well as, Ravens new roommate Lexa Woods. Raven isn't a fan of the shy, nerdy and very socially awkward and anxious girl. </p><p>Or simply Nerd!Lexa </p><p>Also Lexa has aspergers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke looks up from one of the millions of boxes in her dorm and glances over at her best friend Raven. She had just let out a loud sigh, yet again, the sighs growing louder by the seconds. She's sprawled out on Clarke's bed, that has yet to have sheets put on it, sighing every couple of minutes. Clarke just rolls her eyes and looks over to her other best friend, Octavia who smirks at the girl. 

"Yes, Raven?" Octavia asks, finally taking the bait that Raven had been fishing for, for the last hour that they'd been here. She pulls a shirt out of one of her boxes and smells it. Wrinkling her nose, she tosses it aside before looking back at Raven.

"Oh, nothing." Raven returns with an airy sigh, but the two girls are smart enough to know that isn't the end of the conversation. Though both of them, turn back to unpacking their boxes, just waiting on Raven to continue talking. They know it's coming. "Ugh this isn't fair!" She finally shouts, making Clarke and Octavia smirk at the girl's outburst. They'd been waiting on it all day long. "I can't believe you guys get to be roommates and I get stuck with a random." She says, sitting up on the bed and glaring at her two best friends. "I challenge another rock paper scissors rematch." She says, crossing her arms. 

Clarke and Octavia roll their eyes yet again and continue unpacking their things. "Raven, you lost fair and square. Besides, your room is 2 doors down, it's not that big of a deal." Clarke informs her, before tossing her bedsheets at the girl, hitting her in the face. "You know you can come over here whenever you want."

"Obviously. She's already made herself at home." Octavia says, making Clarke chuckle.

"Easy for you to say." She says with a glare, throwing the sheets down on the bed next to her. "What if I get stuck with a psychopath? Or worse, a cheerleader." She says, her eyes widening in horror, making her friends chuckle at her. 

"I'm sure it'll be fine." Octavia assures her. "Maybe you should go see if she's there now." She adds, raising a brow. 

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Raven asks, looking offended. 

Clarke laughs and shakes her head at the two of them. "If you are going to stay, make yourself useful." Clarke says, nodding her head towards her bed sheets, trying to tell her not to subtly to put them on the bed. 

Raven looks down at them and contemplates her options. She could stay and help her best friends unpack or she could go to her room by herself. Or even worse with her new roommate who, with her luck will definitely be some sort of psycho. Though, she really doesn't like making beds, or doing anything really remotely useful. "I think I'll go ahead and face my fate." She says dramatically, standing up from the bed. "This is probably the last time you'll see me." She adds, walking towards the door. 

Clarke and Octavia glance over at each other and just shake their heads, small smirks playing on their lips. "So when she kills you in your sleep, can I have your new macbook?" Octavia asks and Clarke burst out laughing. 

Raven just mocks her laughter and glares at her, before walking out their door. 

"She's so dramatic." Octavia says with a chuckle. 

Clarke smiles but shrugs her shoulders. "Maybe, but you know if it was one of us in her spot, we'd probably be acting the same way." She says honestly. She feels bad for Raven, but she's glad that she won and doesn't have to have the random roommate herself. She also knows though, that the girl is being a little dramatic and it'll all probably turn out fine. But moving away from home to come here to Polis University was scary enough. At least now, she has Octavia as a roommate. It reminds her a little of home.

Clarke gets pulled out of her thoughts when her phone beeps in her pocket, and she also hears Octavia's go off from across the room. She pulls her phone out and sees a text from Raven in their group message. 

Raven (9:31am) : I was right. Total nut job. 

"She's been over there for two minutes." Octavia says, not believing their best friend. 

Clarke just laughs and puts her phone back in her pocket, choosing not to respond to the dramatic girl right now. She highly doubts the roommate is that bad. She especially doubt that Raven could make that assumption in under 2 minutes. 

\----

Lexa chews on her bottom lip as she stands in front of her dorm room door. She's yet to go in, and she's probably been standing there for a good two minutes, just staring at the wooden door. Luckily she wasn't carrying a box that was that heavy. When she first approached, she could hear loud music coming from inside, which means her roommate is inside. And that means she's anxious. 

"What are you doing?" She hears a voice ask her, making her turn around. She sees her older sister walking down the hallway towards her, a big box in her hand. 

Lexa just bites her lip again and glances back towards the door, before looking at her sister once again. Anya gives her a knowing look, as soon as she hears the music coming from inside. She sees her sisters jaw move from side to side, a little quirk she has when she's nervous or upset.

"It's okay. Come on," She says, nodding her head towards the door for Lexa to open it. She gives her an encouraging look, letting her know that she is there with her. Though, it still doesn't give Lexa the courage she needs to open up the door. So, she lets out an exasperated sigh. "Come on, this box is heavy." She says, adjusting her grip a bit on it and grimacing, hoping the girl will feel sorry for her and open it. 

Lexa swallows and nods her head. Taking in a deep breath, she reaches out and opens the dorm room door. It swings open and she looks around, but doesn't see anyone. Letting out the breath she'd been holding she lets Anya walk past her and inside to set the box down. Slowly, Lexa makes her way inside, feeling a bit of relief when she sees her roommate isn't in the room. 

It startles her a bit when the music is suddenly turned off and silence fills the room. She looks to her right and sees Anya standing on her roommates side of the room with her hand on the speaker that had been playing music. "I don't think she's here, Lex." She tells her. "She just left her music on." She says, and Lexa nods feeling more at ease. "Let's go get the rest of your things." 

Lexa lets out another breath and nods her head as Anya puts her arm around her and leads her back out to the car parked out front. 

On their third trip back to Lexa's dorm room, Raven is inside the room. Lexa just about drops the box in her hands as she sees the brunette girl standing on her side of the room suddenly. She has her back to them, fiddling with the speaker that had been blasting music previously. It only takes seconds for the music to turn back on, startling the girl all over again. 

Raven spins around and is startled herself when she sees the two women now in their dorm. She eyes them both, trying to figure out which is her roommate. She's hoping for the dirty blonde, because she could deal with that, but she doubts it because the other looks younger and they always put freshman with freshman. The also looks like she's about to piss her pants, Raven observes. 

"Well, you don't look like a cheerleader." Raven says simply, taking a step towards Lexa. "You're the roommate right?" She asks, looking the girl up and down. 

Lexa just nods and swallows hard, her body stiffening more with each step that Raven takes towards her. 

"This is Lexa." Anya jumps in, noticing her little sisters distress. "And I'm her older sister Anya." She says, tilting her chin up, trying to intimidate the girl so that she'll stop trying to intimidate Lexa. 

Raven turns her attention to the older girl and smirks. "Damn, I was kind of hoping it was you." She says with a cocky smirk, looking Anya up and down. 

Anya just rolls her eyes at the girl in front of her. She gives a spare glance to her sister who looks relieved that Raven's attention isn't on her anymore, but she still looks like she's about to pass out any second. "Well, you're stuck with this one." Anya says, making Lexa look up and glare at her. "Come on baby sis, let's finish unpacking you." 

Lexa looks back at Raven nervously, who just raises a brow at her, wondering if she's actually going to speak to her. But Lexa just puts her head down and follows her sister out of the room and back to the car out front. 

"Anya," Lexa finally speaks up, after walking all the way back down to the car in silence. "I can't do this," she says quietly, fiddling with her fingers in front of her, a nervous habit that she's always had. She watches Anya going through the boxes in the trunk of the car, taking some of them out. "I just want to go back home. I don't-….I can go to the community college there."

Anya turns to her with a sympathetic expression. "Hey, sure you can. You can do this." She says, reaching out and putting her hand on Lexa's arm, trying to comfort her. "You've been dreaming about coming to Polis since you were a little kid." She reminds her, though she knows why Lexa is afraid. And it's nothing to do with the academics. She's always had the best grades and education was always very important to her. She'd been dreaming of coming to Polis ever since Anya could remember. 

"She's-… 

"A little intimidating, I get it." Anya says knowingly, talking about her new roommate. She didn't bother Anya, but her sister is a different story. "But she seems harmless, alright? This isn't high school anymore. Just keep to yourself and I'm sure that she will do the same. Just focus on your school work." She says, but Lexa doesn't look like she feels any better. 

"Why can't I just stay with you, while I go to school? You live 30 minutes away!" She says, growing frustrated, her jaw clenching and unclenching. 

Anya sighs and grabs ahold of Lexa's hands that she's violently wringing and twisting around. She separates the girls hands, making Lexa look up at her, their eyes meeting. "Hey, you know the rules. Freshman have to live in the dorms." She tells her softly. "I don't know why, but most colleges are that way." She says with a sad smile. "They want you to have the college experience and show school spirit and all of that crap." She says with a small smirk, knowing her sister won't do any of that either way. 

Lexa pulls her hands out of Anya's and walks over to the car. She sits down in the passengers seat and crosses her arms over her chest, hugging herself tightly and rocks slightly. It makes her feel safer. 

Letting out a small groan, Anya walks over to her and kneels down so that she's down on her level, even a bit lower than her. She places her hands gently on top of Lexa's thighs and just looks at her. She knew this would be hard and for the past few weeks, she'd been trying to think of things to say that would make this easier on Lexa. But she hadn't really come up with anything. She's basically raised Lexa herself so she knows that there isn't much to do about Lexa's anxiety. She has to eventually calm herself down or just face her fears. Which is almost impossible for her to do. 

"Hey, you know you can come stay with me anytime, you feel like this is all too much okay?" She says, making Lexa look up at her. "But, you need to try and do this. It'll be good for you." She says honestly. "You've got to get out in the real world at some point." She says, and Lexa frowns at her. 

Lexa knows that her older sister has always protected her from everything her whole life and she knows that she has probably relied too much on the girl. But it doesn't make any of this easier. Anya is right, she's an adult now and she can't hide behind her big sister forever. But she wants to. The real world is scary. 

"Come on, let's bring the last of these boxes in. I'll help you unpack and then we can get some dinner. I'll stay with you for a little while, until you feel a little more comfortable here." Anya says, standing back up. She puts her hand out for Lexa to take, and looks at her expectantly. "I'm trying to give you some tough love here, but at the end of the day, you know I'm here for you baby sis." She says with a soft smile. 

Lexa sighs but gives Anya a small smile, taking her hand and getting out of the car. "I love you, Anya." She says, leaning into the girl's side. 

"Love you too, kid." Anya replies, putting her arm around Lexa. She guides her to the back of the car and then leaves her side to pull a box out of the trunk. "Here, you get the heavy one this time." She says, trying to hand it over to Lexa. However, when she doesn't feel the girl taking the box, she looks up at her. 

She notices Lexa's attention completely off of her, and looking just a little past her. She's never seen this look on Lexa's face before. It's odd to her and she can't pick up what it is. She's seen pretty much every emotion on Lexa's face and she's normally good at reading her, but this just confuses her. 

She turns around to try and see what has gotten Lexa's attention. Her eyes spot two girls walking through the courtyard right behind her. They haven't noticed the two of them and seem to be caught up whatever conversation they're having. Whatever it is, must be funny because the blonde girl starts laughing pretty hard. 

Anya turns back to look at Lexa, and finds her smiling, still looking at the two girls. Still oblivious to the fact that Anya is watching her or trying to get her attention. She's caught up in her own world. And that's when it clicks for Anya. Lexa is attracted to this girl. A big smile appears on Anya's face at the revelation. She's never really known her sister to show interest in anyone. She always kept to herself in school and never even had friends. 

"You should go talk to her." Anya says, finally startling Lexa out of her trance. 

"What?" Lexa replies, shaking her head and moving her attention back over to Anya. "Who?" She questions, trying to play oblivious. 

Anya rolls her eyes and smirks. "The blonde you've been ogling." She responds, glancing back at the two girls who were now standing in line at a food truck in front of the Student Union. She looks back at her sister, who has wide eyes, making her laugh. "You've been caught." She smirks. 

"I wasn't-… 

"Yes, you were." Anya says, before Lexa can even finish her sentence. "Come on, Lexa. This is what college is about! Getting out there and trying new things! Seriously, this is going to be so good for you, but you have to try and put yourself out there a little bit." She tries convincing her, knowing it's probably hopeless. 

Lexa frowns and watches the blonde stranger for a few more moments, before looking down and shaking her head. She takes the box that Anya had been trying to hand her, "I can't." She says simply, before turning to walk inside the dorm. Anya just sighs, but follows her sister without another word. She knows not to push the girl too much. It'll end in a bigger mess. 

\--- 

The girls finally get the rest of Lexa's things unpacked, thankfully without any word from Raven. She simply sat on her unmade bed, flipping through a magazine while she listened to her music, rather loudly. Though loud music is better than Lexa having to talk to her. At least she was keeping to herself. Even if the music was making her a little anxious. Loud noises tended to do that. 

"Alright Lex, how about we go and get something to eat. I'm starving." She comments, standing up from where she had been putting the last of Lexa's books on her bookshelf. Which, actually took forever because Lexa has hundreds of books. She hadn't been able to bring all of them, but she sure as hell brought as many as she could. Anya looks over at Lexa who happens to be staring out the window. She starts to get a little annoyed, just because she's not sure Lexa has been standing there, while Anya does all the work. But then, she notices that look on her face. The same one from earlier.

Anya comes up behind her and glances down and isn't surprised when she sees that the view is of the blonde and her friend from earlier, sitting on a bench, eating their tacos from the food truck. 

"I'm in the mood for some tacos. How about you?" She says, nudging the brunette. 

Lexa turns to her and glares at her, mumbling something underneath her breath, making Anya chuckle at her. 

Raven watches the scene with a confused look on her face, but decides not to ask. She can already tell this girl is weird and she really doesn't want to get involved in the crazy. With a sigh, she puts the magazine on her bed and picks her cell phone up. She sends Clarke and Octavia a quick message asking them where they are and why they aren't responding to her. 

"Raven, want to come and grab something to eat with us?" Anya asks, shocking both freshman. 

Raven glances over at Lexa and sees the girl staring at her sister with wide eyes. It makes her laugh and almost want to say yes, just to see if she can make her pass out or piss her pants. Maybe both. But again, she's not getting involved in the crazy. "No, I'm going to meet my friends." She says simply, standing up from the bed. 

And with that, she's out the door, letting it slam a little in the process behind her. 

Anya sees Lexa jump at the noise and watches her carefully to make sure she's okay. She seems startled for sure, but after taking a couple of deep breaths, she seems to calm herself down. Which makes Anya proud. She's definitely come a long way, growing up. When she was younger, the door slamming closed normally sent her into a panic attack. 

"But, really tacos kind of sound good. I won't make you talk to the pretty girl." Anya finally speaks up, breaking the silence that had fallen over them since Raven left the room. She gives Lexa a smirk and grabs her keys and walks over to Lexa, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the dorm room, not letting her protest. 

Luckily for Lexa, or maybe unlucky for Lexa, the two girls aren't anywhere to be found by the time her and Anya get down there. Lexa is a little disappointed to say the least, but at the same time, relieved because she won't have to listen to Anya tease her or try and get her to talk to her.

\---

"I swear to God, you guys! She's a freak show!" Raven complains from her spot at the high table, next to the pool table in the student recreation center. She watches Clarke take her turn and kind of smirks when she misses it. Which just makes Clarke glare at her, as she stands up straight. 

"You said she didn't even talk to you. It can't be that bad." Octavia says with a shrug, as she looks to line up her shot. "At least she's not one of those talkative overly perky roommates with OCD and a shit ton of rules, that you see in the movies." She informs her. "Or like trying to force bonding time on you."

Raven just rolls her eyes and puts a finger up. "She could be OCD, that hasn't been determined yet." Raven says matter of fact. "She's weird enough, I wouldn't be surprised if that's another trait of hers." 

Clarke groans as Octavia makes her shot in and throws yet another glare at Raven who is cheering Octavia on for some reason. "I thought we were all besties here." Clarke deadpans. "Why are you against me?" She asks, acting offended. 

Raven just simply shrugs her shoulders. "I just feel like I should be more mad at you about this whole situation." She says matter of fact. 

Clarke scoffs and lets her jaw drop. "What did I do?" She asks, now actually offended. They all figured out the roommate situation fair and square. Octavia had just as much a hand in it as she did. But Clarke always seems to be the one taking the blame for everything. 

"I don't know." Raven says with another shrug, that just lets Clarke know that she doesn't even know why either and that she doesn't actually have a reason. And that's all she's giving Clarke. 

Clarke just shakes her head and sighs, giving up on it. "Whatever." She breathes out and then gets ready to take her turn, since Octavia missed the second time. 

"Her sister was pretty hot though. Hopefully she comes and visits pretty often. I might can deal with the freak if that's the case." She says with her signature cocky smirk. 

"Seriously?" Clarke deadpans, only gaining yet another shrug from Raven. But before she can say anything more, she hears a cheer from Octavia, making her turn her attention to the girl. "Seriously?" She asks again, but this time in a perplexed tone as she looks at the table and realizes that Octavia just won the game. 

Raven laughs and hops off the stool, taking the pool stick from Clarke, taking her turn against Octavia. "You're going down, Blake." 

Clarke just sighs and sits down on the stool that Raven had previously been sitting on, and she watches them start their game. She's hoping for Octavia to win as well, but she won't be as vocal about it like Raven. She can be the bigger person. "So besides the fact that she seems weird because she didn't talk to you, what's wrong with her? Why do you hate her so much? Or does it have nothing to do with her and you're just taking it out on her, because you didn't get to room with one of us?" Clarke asks, folding her arms across her chest, giving Raven a knowing look. 

Raven takes her shot and sinks it in, before looking at Clarke, throwing a glare her way. As she walks around to take another shot, she lets out a sigh. "She just gave me a vibe." Raven says simply. "I mean, I just introduced myself and she looked like she was going to shit her pants." She adds, bending down to take another shot. "And her sister had to do all of her talking for her. It was just weird."

"Maybe, she's just nervous, you can be a little intimidating sometimes, Rae," Octavia speaks up, raising a brow at her feisty friend. "And she's a freshman like us, she's probably nervous already without you going in guns loaded." 

Clarke nods her head, agreeing and Raven just rolls her eyes at the two. "It wasn't just that. I don't know, she's just weird okay?" She says, growing frustrated. "I don't want to talk about her anymore." She says sharply, letting them know that she's done with the conversation. 

Clarke and Octavia both put their hands up, surrendering to the girl and letting her know that the subject is dropped. And finally after 3 turns, Ravens turn is finally over and Octavia steps up to take her shot. 

Clarke just sits back and looks around the room, taking it all in. There's quite a bit of students crowding around the building, all doing various things with their own group of friends. She has to admit, the place has a lot to offer and a lot to keep them entertained on down time. Honestly, this college thing doesn't seem like it'll be too shabby. 

Glancing out the window, she does a double take, spotting two women walking out in the courtyard. She sits up a bit straighter, getting a better look at the two girls. They're both very attractive, but she thinks one more so than the other. The brunette is just breathtaking. Literally. She's pretty sure she forgot how to breathe for a second. 

Her eyes follow them until she can't see them anymore, and almost contemplates getting up and going over to the window, just to watch her a little bit longer. Something about her just draws her to her, like she's a magnet or something. But that'd just be creepy. Plus it would raise questions from Octavia and Raven. Maybe, they seem a little too into their game to even notice what she's doing. 

"Clarke?" 

Or not. 

"What?" Clarke says, shaking her head and looking over at her two best friends, confusion etched in her features. And they have the same looks on their faces. 

"We're finished." Octavia says, sounding annoyed. Clarke's pretty sure they'd been trying to get her attention for awhile. But it doesn't seem like it's been long enough for them to finish an entire game. Damn. How long had she been staring. "Are you playing the reigning champion or you done?" Octavia asks with a smirk on her face, obviously proud that she won again. Raven just rolls her eyes and huffs, taking a seat across from Clarke at the table. 

"Oh, um, I'm good." Clarke answers, glancing back at the window, hoping the girl would be back, but no such luck. "Lets go see what else they have for us to do." She responds, standing up from her chair. 

Octavia and Raven both give her strange looks then look at each other. After a brief, silent conversation, they both dart over to the window, looking outside. "What were you looking at, Griffin?" Raven asks, curiously. 

"Or more like who?" Octavia asks with a smirk, looking back at Clarke. 

Clarke just rolls her eyes and walks up behind them. "Nobody." She sighs. But they don't believe her and keep looking, trying to guess which person it was that she was looking at. They both start arguing over who it was, Octavia spotting a hot red headed girl and Raven seeing a brunette boy that was apparently 'totally Clarke's type'. Clarke just lets out a groan. "Alright, it was someone but she's not even out there anymore." She admits. "I don't know where she went." 

Raven and Octavia just pout and back away from the window, mad that they missed the hottie Clarke was apparently into. 

"Oh look, fresh meat." They all suddenly hear, making them turn around to see who was speaking to them. Or even if said person was speaking to them. And it turns out, he had been.

"Bell!" Octavia shouts, running over to her big brother and giving him a hug. He just laughs and hugs her back. 

He pulls out of the hug and smirks at her. "Watch it, I don't need people thinking that I hang around with freshman." He jokes, making her shove him playfully. "Why didn't you tell me when you guys got here?" He asks, and then turns his attention to his little sisters best friends. "Hey guys." He greets then looks back at Octavia. 

"Sorry bro. We unpacked and then we've just been exploring. This place is great." She says, excitedly. Bellamy just laughs at her excitement. "We're about to go look around some more. Want to be tour guide?" She asks with a smile. 

Bellamy looks back at the other two girls and then back at Octavia, contemplating his options. But then he lets out a small chuckle and nods his head. "Of course. I mean, I do know all the cool spots," He says with a smirk. "Let's go." He says, throwing his arm around his little sister and leading them out of the rec room. 

\---

Anya stares at her little sister, sitting across from her, playing with the food on her plate. She keeps side eyeing everyone around her and Anya can tell the amount of people in the room are making her nervous. She's barely said two words since they sat down. Which isn't odd. When Lexa isn't feeling comfortable, she normally closes up inside of herself and doesn't speak. 

She'd wanted to get their food togo and go back up to the room, but Anya had basically forced her to sit down in the cafe with her and eat. Anya's not trying to torture her, just trying to force her out of her comfort zone a little. She's worried about leaving her here, but she knows that she has to. Her sister has to learn how to deal with the real world at some point and stop hiding out or hiding behind her. Even if that seems harsh. 

"Hey, how about you eat, instead of play with it?" Anya asks, trying to get the girl's attention. But Lexa doesn't look up, or stop pushing rice around with her fork. And she hasn't even touched the taco on her plate. "Lex, look at me." Anya sighs, reaching out and covering the girl's hands with her own. "I'm right here, I'm with you, you're alright." She says in a calming tone. "Just shut everyone else out and focus on me, yeah?" 

Lexa swallows and keeps looking at Anya. She wants to let her eyes keep darting around, but she tries really hard to focus on her older sister. It already starts to make her feel more calm. Anya smiles at her and nods her head, before slowly sliding her hands away. Lexa nods back and takes in a deep breath, before she looks back to her food, and actually starts to eat it. 

"So…that girl… the blonde one," Anya starts carefully, though there is a hint of a smile on her face. She sees Lexa's hand pause, but she decides it's safe to keep going. "Is that your type?" She asks, watching her little sister carefully, trying to get a read on her. This isn't something they've ever gotten to talk about. Not how most sisters get to sit around and talk about boys or girls. Lexa has never really been the type for that. 

"Anya…" Lexa warns, her grip tightening on her fork. 

Anya just shrugs her shoulders and gives Lexa an innocent shrug. "I'm just curious." She says honestly. "You know it's normal to have an attraction to people, or to like someone Lexa. It's actually kind of weird, to not. Unless you're asexual or something, which is kind of what I was guessing, which would be okay, if that was the case." she explains. "….but, apparently not?" She tries, hoping for an answer. 

"I-…." Lexa starts, but then stops. Her whole face turns red and she starts fiddling with the paper plate with the hand that isn't gripping her fork. "She was… She was really pretty…" she says quietly. 

This makes a huge smile form on Anya's face. It was one thing knowing that Lexa was attracted to someone, but actually having her basically admit it was a completely different thing. And even better. It also meant she was finally getting somewhere with her little sister. "Now, we just have to get you prepared to actually talk to the next pretty girl that you see." Anya says with a smirk. She picks up a few pieces of rice and throws it at Lexa, trying to ease the tension that she can see in the other girls whole body. 

Lexa relaxes a little bit and rolls her eyes at her sister. "Shut up." She says, throwing rice back at the girl in retaliation. 

"Alright, let's stop before we start a whole food fight in this place." She says with a chuckle and Lexa nods in agreement. She can only imagine the chaos that would break out and the anxiety attack, she'd surely get. "How about we get back to your room?" She suggests and she can see the panic that starts to show up in Lexa's face. "I'll stay with you and hang out for awhile, alright? I'm not going anywhere." She assures her sister. 

Lexa nods gratefully and stands up with Anya, picking all of their trash up. She follows behind her sister, throwing it away before heading back up to her dorm room. As they walk down the hallway, she takes in a deep breath, preparing herself to see her roommate once again. 

Once they get inside, much to Lexa's relief, the girl hadn't returned yet. It's empty once again, except for the music that is still blasting through the speakers. Lexa rolls her eyes and folds her arms across her chest. That speaker is going to get old really fast. 

Thankfully, Anya gets it without a word, and turns it off. "Alright, how about we just relax and watch some Netflix or something?" Anya suggests, already making herself comfortable on Lexa's bed and pulling her laptop off the nightstand. 

Lexa nods silently and climbs onto the bed next to her older sister. She doesn't even have to ask what they're watching nor take time to debate it. It only takes about 5 seconds, before Anya is playing her favorite TV show for her. As well as her favorite episode. It always makes her feel better. With a smile, Lexa scoots closer and curls into Anya's side.

And that's how they stay for 2 episodes until Anya breaks the silence.

"Hey, I'm going to run down to the bathroom, alright?" Anya says, standing up from the bed, after untangling herself from her little sister. Lexa looks at her like she's crazy and starts to come with her, but Anya stops her. "No, stay here. I'll just be a couple of minutes, alright?" She says, wanting Lexa to experience a few minutes without her there. 

Lexa opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again, once Anya raises a brow at her, giving her that big sister look that tells her it's not up for discussion. Lexa just sighs, and turns her attention back to the laptop, knowing she isn't getting out of this one. She looks up and frowns at the door, when she hears it open and close, and realizes she's all alone in her dorm room. 

Nervously, she glances around, taking everything in by detail for the first time. She starts to get anxiety, so she presses play on the next episode to try and distract herself until her sister gets back. She's going to have to get used to being away from her anyway. She can't stay with her forever. 

A couple of minutes later, the door opens and Lexa lets out a breath of relief looking up at her older sister. Though, when she looks up she realizes that it's not her sister, but her roommate. 

She sits up a bit straighter and swallows, watching as the girl walks into the room and over to her side. "Damn, did your hot sister leave?" Raven asks, plopping down on her bed and staring at Lexa. 

Lexa just shakes her head in return, chewing on her bottom lip. It's not like she doesn't know that her sister is attractive, she's grown up with her and she's used to everyone liking Anya. But she doesn't like the way Raven is talking or the look she has on her face when she talks about her. 

"What, did she turn invisible?" Raven asks, raising a brow at the girl. She was weird, but Raven kind of was having fun messing with her. It was pretty easy. 

Lexa clears her throat and shakes her head once again. "Bathroom," she says quietly, her voice a little hoarse, from not using it much today. 

"Ah, she speaks," Raven smirks. Before Lexa could think about how to respond to that, or if she even wanted to, the door opens again and her sister walks through. Which makes Lexa relax a little bit. "Oh, there's hot sister." Raven says, eyeing the older girl. 

Anya raises a brow, looking at the girl unimpressed and folds her arms across her chest. She gives Raven a look, trying to convey that she didn't have a chance so she should stop wasting her breath with the comments. But Raven in typical behavior just smirks back at her in response. 

"Alright, Lex. One more episode then I should get going. It's getting late." Anya says, even though she knows it's going to make the girl start to panic a little. But it's better to give her a warning rather than get up in an hour and just announce that she's leaving. Lexa isn't one for surprises of any kind. 

"Aw come on, why don't you just stay the night?" Raven asks, a little too suggestively for either girl's liking. 

Anya throws her head back and sighs, trying to debate on if she should say anything. She doesn't like the forward girl, but she doesn't want to make anything worse for her little sister after she leaves her. "You're a little young for me." She decides to go with, though the venom in her voice is obvious. 

Raven just smirks and rolls onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow. "Age is just a number. Besides, you can't be that much older than me." She says with a small shrug. 

"I'm going not assume that you're 18 since you're a freshman as well." Anya says, and Raven just stares at her, but Anya gets her answer from that. "And I'm 23, sure it's not too many years, but those years make a difference. You're still a child." She responds and Raven just chuckles, rolling onto her back. Thankfully, leaving it at that. But probably only for now. 

Or so she thought. 

"Alright, well, I'm going to bed. I have an early class in the morning." Raven states, throwing a blanket on her bed, that still hadn't had the sheets put on it. Lexa almost wants to say something about it, because it bugs her, but she decides not to start anything. She just decides to turn her head away and try and ignore it. "Feel free to sneak into my bed after tucking the little one in." Raven says with a smirk, looking at Anya. 

"Not happening." Anya says simply, rolling her eyes, not even bothering to look over at the younger girl. "See, I think she likes bugging me more than you." Anya whispers to her little sister, making Lexa just sigh. She doesn't like Raven making comments like that to Anya, but she supposes it's better than being aimed towards her. Though, she's not sure what will happen when her and Raven are alone together for more than a couple of minutes. 

Before Raven can drift off into sleep, her phone chimes from her nightstand table. She groans, but rolls over to see who it was, though she's pretty sure she knows because there aren't very many people who would be texting her right now. 

O (10:48pm) - Clarke already got asked out! We haven't even been here a day!

Griffin (10:48pm) - It's not a big deal. He told me there was a cool coffee shop that I'd like since I'm an art major. It's not a date.

O (10:49pm) - Yeah right.

Raven shakes her head and chuckles at her two best friends. 

Raven (10:49pm) - I wasn't even there, and I can tell you that it's a date, Griffin. Was he cute?

O (11:00pm) - Super hot. In like that cute boyish way.

Griffin (11:00) - It's not a date!

O (11:01pm) - She's still thinking about mystery hottie, she saw earlier outside the rec room.

Griffin (11:01pm) - I am not. And besides, it's not like I'll ever see her again. This campus is huge.

Raven (11:01pm) - You never know.


	2. Chapter 2

Lexa feels herself starting to wake up, and rolls over in her bed stretching out all of her limbs. She, for a brief moment forgets where she is and expects to open her eyes and be in her room back at Anya's. Her home. This place isn't her home. She doesn't feel comfortable here, and that's what a home is supposed to do. It's supposed to make you feel safe and comfortable. This place is the opposite.

She opens her eyes slowly, blinking them a few times, adjusting to the bright light coming in through the window. With a sigh, and looks around, still trying to wake herself up. She hears a grunting noise and looks around confused, trying to find the source of the noise. That's when she spots Raven on the ground in between their beds doing push ups. She looks sweaty and she's out of breath and her face has that scary determined look on it. Lexa can definitely tell she's probably been up and at this for awhile. It kind of makes her look even more intimidating. 

Lexa wants to just go back to sleep or at least act as if she's still sleeping so she won't have to encounter her yet. But that would make her late for class and that's the last thing she wants to do. School is what she's good at, it's the only thing that makes her feel semi normal. It's the only thing she's good at. And even if it didn't make her late, it'd make her have to skip her morning routine, and that's another thing she can't do. She needs the structure, especially when everything else feels so unstructured right now.

She gets up carefully and walks around the girl, hoping she won't stop her work out and talk to her. Luckily for her, she doesn't seem like she's going to stop. She doesn't even look at Lexa as she turns over and starts doing sit ups, counting under her breath. 

By the time Lexa is finished getting ready, Raven is still doing her workout. Lexa can't lie and say she's not impressed with the girl. She actually likes to work out as well. It's what she used to do to get all of her anger and frustrations out with. It also helped calm her down when she was feeling really anxious. Plus, when she was bullied, she took up karate and as she got older she got into MMA. Her sister was anything but happy when she'd found out about that. But it helped Lexa feel more safe and more in control of what was happening around her. Like she was prepared for anything. And at the end of the day, that's all that mattered. 

She clears her throat and considers saying goodbye or something to Raven, but decides against it. The girl is leaving her alone right now, she shouldn't change that. She wants to just try and fly under the radar, and not really engage with her roommate. Or anyone for that matter. She's here for school, not socializing. Opening the door, she just leaves without a word, headed off to her first class. 

Even though school is her thing and it's what she loves, she's still nervous. Not about the professor or the coursework, but about all of the other students in the classroom with her. And college classes are a lot bigger than high school classes. She sees that first hand when she walks into her first classroom and sees at least 200 seats, if not more. Only a few of them are taken at the moment because she's pretty early. Which is good, it's not as scary walking into a classroom with 2 people rather than all 300 seats being taken. Plus, she gets to pick anywhere she wants to sit. Wherever it is that'll make her feel the most comfortable. And where she feels she'll get the most benefit out of the class. 

Once she picks her spot, she pulls all of her things out of her backpack, getting it all set up for the class. Her laptop that she places a little to the left of her at the perfect angle for her to be able to comfortably type on, but still have space on the rest of her desk for other items. Her spiral goes to the right, so she can write in it if she needs to, even though, most of her notes will be put on her laptop. And then she pulls out two pens and two pencils, just because she likes to be prepared. As well as her full set of highlighters so she can color code different points in her notes. 

Once she has everything perfectly laid out on her desk, she nods to herself and looks up, ready to start. But that's when she realizes she still has another 7 minutes until the class starts. She glances around looking at everyone else and sees them all relaxed and playing on their phones, looking like they don't have a care in the world. Except for the fact that they had to be up this early to sit in a classroom. 

With a slight shrug, Lexa turns her attention to her laptop and decides to distract herself by reading wikipedia. That's how she spends a lot of her spare time. She loves learning new things and it's one of the funnest ways. She tends to get lost on the site, jumping from related article to related article until it gets to the point that the day has gotten away from her and she can't even remember which article she started with and how she ended up on the one she did.

Though, after she reads for about 30 seconds, she starts to think about the rest of her day. More so focusing on her next class and the building that it's in. She starts to feel a little anxiety, not knowing her way around the campus because she also knows that she only has 10 minutes in between. Unless they get let out early, but that's not a guarantee. So she decides to focus on that for now. She goes to the Universities website and pulls up the map she had been looking at earlier. 

Opening up one of her files, she looks at her next class and which building it's in before finding it on the map. She wants to be able to find the best way to go from here to there the quickest. She doesn't like being late. A, because it's rude, and B that would mean walking into a classroom full of students, all of them staring at her and judging her as she walks in to find a seat. It makes her nervous with that many eyes on her. Even if in reality nobody is probably paying attention to her. She feels like everyone is staring and judging. 

One time in high school, Anya had caused her to be late for school one morning and she cried and convinced Anya to let her stay home just because she'd had too much anxiety to walk in late. Not only because the students but she has a fear of the teacher getting angry with her as well. So bad that she missed school for it. And she never misses school. 

So she squints her eyes a bit and looks at the little paths on the map, wracking her brain with all the options and choosing which one will be the best. 

\----

Clarke walks into her last class of the day and sees that it's empty for the most part. There are a few students scattered across the stadium seating, but not very many. She glances down at her watch and realizes she'd made it here pretty quickly and there are still 5 minutes until class starts. Normally it doesn't start filling up until the very last few minutes. 

Looking around, she tries to decide on where she should sit. The front row is out, because she doesn't want to be right in the professor's view. Not that she's a bad student or anything, but she may occasionally want to send a text or even have a moment of not paying attention and she doesn't want it to be completely obvious to the professor. Though, she doesn't really want to sit all the way in the back because she's afraid she won't be able to see or hear well enough. 

As she's looking around, she spots a girl sitting a few rows down from the back and in the middle of the room. She's by herself and she's looking down, concentrated on whatever she's writing in her journal. Or possibly drawing. It is an art appreciation class after all. 

Her eyes widen when she realizes that it's the girl she'd seen in the courtyard only a couple of days ago. The one that she still swears is probably the most beautiful girl that she's ever seen. The one she figured she'd never see again. And yet, here she is, in the same class as her. What are the odds? 

Taking a deep breath, Clarke decides to just go for it and sit down next to her. Though, it looks a little weird, since over half the room is open. Nobody is sitting down next to each other, because nobody knows anyone yet. And nobody really wants to sit too close. The first few days are always awkward like this. But she's going to go and pick a seat sitting directly next to this girl. 

Whatever. 

This is her chance to talk to her, without hopefully looking too much like a fool. 

"Hey, is anyone sitting here?" Clarke asks, coming up behind the girl and pointing to the seat next to her. She sees the brunette jump and she smiles at her apologetically for startling her, but the girl doesn't even turn around to look at her so she doesn't see it. She just simply shakes her head, still looking down. Her shoulders still look tense and her hand is still paused, not yet picking up where she'd stopped, yet she still doesn't look or speak to Clarke.

Clarke just smiles and puts her bag in the chair before walking around to actually go down the row that she's in. When she sits down, she glances over at the other girl who still hasn't looked up at her. It makes Clarke frown, that she hasn't even acknowledged her presence yet. Not even a glance.

"I'm Clarke." She says, trying once again to get the girls attention. 

This time, the girl slowly lifts her head up and looks over at her. And when she does, Clarke notices her eyes widen and she just stares at her for a second. Her face turns red and she looks back down at her notepad, shifting in her seat a little, like she's uncomfortable. 

It confuses Clarke and makes her frown even more. "And your name is…?" She asks with a slight smile, hoping to get something out of her. But it seems like she wants nothing to do with her, because she once again doesn't respond to the blonde's attempts.

After a few seconds though, Lexa's mouth opens and then closes again and she swallows hard. She subtly rocks her body back and forth a bit, trying to muster up the courage to talk to this girl. The same girl she'd seen only a couple days ago. The same girl that gave her a weird feeling. Something she's never felt before. A feeling that confuses her because she can't figure out if it's bad or good or what it means at all. She just knows she gets nervous, but not necessarily the bad nervous that she's used to feeling. In some weird way, it's actually a good feeling. But still kind of scary. 

Or a lot scary.

She glances over at the blonde once again and sees her watching her with a small patient smile on her face. Her face looks a little curious but she doesn't look angry or annoyed like most people would in this situation. She doesn't even look like she's judging her. It makes her Lexa a little more at ease. 

"Are you an art major?" Clarke decides to ask, sensing that the girl wasn't going to tell her her name. She seems really nervous and Clarke just wants to try and make her feel more comfortable. 

And once again, Lexa doesn't answer her vocally. Though she does shake her head in response, letting Clarke know that she's not an art major. 

Clarke just hums in response and sits back in her chair. It's not odd, because most degrees need some sort of an art elective so she could be majoring in just about anything. But she's not sure if Lexa would actually answer anymore questions from her. She seems nervous enough as it is, without Clarke harassing her. So Clarke just sits back quietly and leaves her alone. Though as the teacher begins his lecture, she can't help but glance over at the girl occasionally. And she also notices Lexa doing the same to her. Though, Lexa quickly looks away as soon as she's caught, every single time and it makes Clarke smile, every single time.

She'll get this girl to talk to her eventually. 

\---

Anya walks out of her office and starts heading towards the break room to get a refill on her coffee. She normally has people do that for her, but today has been a stressful day and she's really feeling the need to get out of her office and have a break from everything. She loves running her own company, but it's also a lot more stress than she ever thought it'd be. Though, she still wouldn't trade it for having to work for someone. She likes being the boss and making her own rules.

Her phone starts vibrating in her pocket and she rolls her eyes, groaning. She's been out of her office for all of 10 seconds and someone is already looking for her. With a sigh, she pulls it out, her frown turning into a smile when she sees her little sisters name flashing across the screen, instead of one of her annoying employees or clients. Though, seeing her sisters name also makes her panic a little. She'd just left the girl on her own for the first time and she's afraid something could be wrong. 

"Hey baby sis, what's up?" She answers as she turns the corner into the break room. She lets out a small sigh of relief, when she realizes she's alone and nobody else happens to be in there at the moment. Maybe she can get a little bit of peace.

"She's….the-.. she's in my-…I-…" she stutters on her words, not being able to communicate what she's trying to say. She's flustered and anxious and also a little excited and that just makes it hard for her to form correct sentences. Which honestly just makes her even more frustrated, and doesn't help her in trying to form sentences and communicate her thoughts. 

"Hey, breathe for a second." Anya says with a slight smile. She can already tell that her sister isn't in danger or hurt or anything, so she's not too panicked anymore. Now she just has to figure out what got the girl so worked up. It doesn't normally take much, so it's probably nothing to stress too much about. And by now, Anya's pretty good at calming her down. 

She hears Lexa take in a few deep breaths and it makes her smile a little. 

"Alright, tell me what's got you so worked up." She tells her calmly as she pours herself a new cup of coffee. 

"I--…the girl… she's in my class." Lexa finally says, and it still confuses Anya a little bit. 

But it only takes a minute or so for it to click in Anya's mind. That girl. "Yeah? Did you talk to her?" She asks, though she knows the answer is more than likely no. Anya would probably pass out if Lexa were to actually tell her that she went and talked to her. But she'd be proud. 

"No…" Lexa says with a sigh. "But, she talked to me." She says, a smile forming on her face. "Her name is Clarke." She says, and just saying the name makes her smile grow even wider and that new feeling form in her stomach. It's a fluttery feeling and sort of feels like nerves and excitement at the same time. It's still confusing. "She sat down next to me, Anya." She tells her, the excitement growing. 

Anya laughs and can feel the pride growing in her chest. She's so happy for her little sister. She's never seen her like this over anyone and she's happy that she finally found someone she likes. Now, she just has to try and help her get the girl. It'd break her heart for Lexa to get her own heart broken. Which also opens up a whole other thing. Lexa and dating is a whole other level of scary for her. For both of them really. "That's great kid. Maybe, she likes you too." 

Lexa frowns and twitches her lips from side to side. Another little quirk of hers, that she probably doesn't even notice herself doing. "I doubt it," she says with a low voice, that kind of breaks Anya's heart a little. "I-…I couldn't talk to her. She probably thinks I'm a freak. Just like everyone else does." She says sadly, kicking at a rock she'd spotted on the sidewalk. She's just made it back to her dorm room, but she decides to wait outside, not wanting to talk to Anya in her room in case Raven is there. Especially not about Clarke.

"Hey, stop, alright?" Anya says, her brows furrowing and her jaw clenching a little. Lexa had been bullied her entire life and put down by just about everyone. She'd even changed schools a couple of times, when she bullying had gotten too bad. And it always pisses Anya off, that people would treat her sister that way. She's the best person Anya knows, but everyone has to judge her on stupid shit. "If she thinks that then she's a shitty person and not worth your time anyway, yeah?" Anya says, but doesn't get a response out of Lexa. "But, I doubt she thinks that anyway, okay?" She says, but still the line is silent. "Okay?" 

"Yeah…okay." Lexa finally says quietly. "I just…I want to be normal. I want to be able to talk to her." She says, growing frustrated. "Why can't I talk to her?" She says, her fist clenching at her side.

Anya can sense the frustration and anger growing in her sisters voice and it makes her heart ache for her. "Hey, for one, there isn't even such a thing as normal alright? And if there is, you don't want to be it. That's just boring." She says, hoping to gain a little smile out of the girl, even though she can't see her. "And you'll be able to talk to her. You just need a little time. And if she's sitting next to you, that means you have all semester. It takes as long as it takes." She informs her. "You also know that you need to try and force yourself out of your comfort zone a little. I know it's hard, but I know that you can do it." 

Anya waits for Lexa to say something, but she doesn't. And before Anya can get another word out, she hears her name being called from her side of the line. She looks up and sees one of her employees, looking at her expectantly. She holds her finger out to him and he sighs, obviously annoyed. 

"Lexa.. you'll be fine, alright?" She says, trying to get any sort of response out of her before she has to get off of the phone. The guy says her name once again and she sighs loudly. "Lex, I have to go. Call me later if you need to, alright?" She asks, hoping her sister is okay. 

"Okay. Thanks, Anya." She says, making the girl smile. 

"Love you baby sis." Anya responds. 

"Love you too." Lexa responds, before hanging up her phone. She puts it back in her pocket and looks around with a sigh. She still doesn't really want to go up to her room, but she supposes that she has to. Though, when she spots the little coffee shop attached to the Student Union across from her building, she decides it won't hurt to prolong it just a little bit. 

She checks to make sure she has her wallet on her and some cash before walking across the street. Walking inside, she's thankful when she realizes that the place is empty except for one kid in the far corner. But he hasn't even looked up from his laptop, and he doesn't look like he'd be much of a threat to her anyway. He looks like he'd be just as anxious as her about the encounter, if they were to have one. 

She walks up to the counter and smiles and the young girl who smiles back at her. Glancing over the menu she picks her drink out and orders it to go. She briefly considers staying in the shop for a little while, but she has to go back at some point. Besides, she really wants to start on all of her homework but she can't really concentrate in public places. Not as much as she needs to be able to anyway.

She moves over to the side as she waits on her coffee in case someone else wants to come in. Also, she didn't want to chance the girl at the counter talking to her, because that would just make her uncomfortable. Small talk is not her strong point. As well as a lot of things when it comes to being social. 

"Is that my little Lexie? Please tell me I'm not seeing things." She hears a voice from behind her and feels her body tense up a little. She hasn't had anyone call her that in years. She has no idea who that could be. She turns around cautiously to see who could possibly know her here. Her anxiety magically is replaced with happiness though, when she sees his face. 

"Lincoln!" She half exclaims and half questions when she sees him smiling at her. She walks over to him and gives him a big hug, making him chuckle and hug her back. "What are you doing here?" She asks confused. 

"I'm getting a haircut." He deadpans. "I go to school here, genius," he says playfully, making her roll her eyes, but blush a little. She guesses that was a dumb question. "I had no idea you were coming to school here." He tells her. "Though, I shouldn't be surprised, it's been your dream since you were this big." He says, putting his hand down next to his waist. 

She smiles and shoves him a little bit. "I wasn't that small." She says, acting offended. He'd always made comments about her when she was little and how much smaller she was than him. Surprisingly enough, growing up she'd been really skinny and even shorter than most of the other kids. Then somehow in high school, she grew. She's still skinny, but at least she's over average height. 

"You're my little sister. You'll always be that small to me." He says with a shrug and a smug smile. At that moment, the girl at the counter hands Lexa her drink and then looks over to Lincoln to take his order. And then he turns to look back at Lexa. "Come sit down and have a coffee with me." He says, nodding over to a table. 

She thinks about it briefly and decides this is a good enough reason to stay. It's a great reason actually. So she nods in response and goes to grab a table, while he waits up at the front for the girl to finish making his. Which only happened to be a black coffee so it didn't take too long. 

When he sits back down, he smiles over at the and just looks at her. "So, how are you doing? How's college going so far?" He asks, half just for small talk and curiosity, but also because he knows her and he's concerned. 

"It's okay," she shrugs, looking down as she spins the coffee cup around in her hand. Another little nervous habit. She just always has to be fiddling with something. She can't keep her hands still most of the time. "I haven't been here too long, but I think that I will like all my classes. We have really just gone over the syllabus right now." She says and he nods, still watching her carefully. 

"What about your roommate? How is that? Do you like her?" He asks curiously, and that's when he sees her face change. And that's how he figures out her problem and the source of her nonchalance when normally she'd be really excited about school. Especially being at this college that she'd been dreaming of attending. 

Lexa twitches her lips from side to side and continues staring down at her cup. "She's kind of….intimidating." She says, not really sure what other word to use for her. "I don't really know how to describe her, but she makes me nervous." She says with a small shrug. 

Lincoln frowns and reaches out, grabbing her hands, trying to get her to look up at him. "You know if you don't feel safe or you really have problems with her, you can talk to your RA and get a new roommate, right?" He asks. 

She just shakes her head. "No, it's…I'm not afraid of her or anything like that. She's fine, she's just…a lot. She's kind of….abrasive." She says, finding another word that could accurately describe her. "And maybe a little bit scary but not like-…" she says then sighs, not knowing how to describe her or communicate what she means. "And she kept hitting on Anya." She says, scrunching her face up. 

Lincoln just laughs at that. "I'm sure Anya handled that just fine." He says, knowing how feisty the girl is. 

"She just ignored her mainly. I think she didn't want to make Raven mad to cause me more problems." She says with a small shrug. "But really, I'll be okay." She says, trying to assure him. The girl makes her really uncomfortable, but most people do. And who knows, she could end up with worse, if she asks to be moved. 

"Alright. well let me know if you have any problems. You know that I've got your back." He tells her with a smile. 

Lexa smiles widely and nods her head. "I'm so happy that you're here." She says, feeling more relaxed that she had in awhile. "I've missed you." She says, her smile growing a little sad, but she's trying not to think about it. He's here now and she'll be able to see him pretty much whenever she wants. 

"I've missed you too, lil one." He says affectionately. "It's like you forgot how to use a phone or something." He says playfully. 

Lexa huffs and rolls her eyes a bit at the nick name, but she smiles all the same. The name she used to hate being called, now makes her feel happy. It's just good to have him back and have someone here to help her through. She has Anya but she's half an hour away with a super busy work schedule. "Well, I can say the same for you." She returns. She had missed him a lot, but she also knows there were a lot of other factors that came into play and why that hadn't seen or heard from each other in awhile.

"So are you going to ask about me, or are we just going to talk about you the whole time?" He asks with a laugh. He's only kidding and Lexa knows that. He has always used humor of a way to make her feel better. He knows she doesn't like talking about herself and her problems that much, so he's changing the subject to get it off of her. But he isn't going to make it seem like it's for her benefit. Even though they both know it is. 

"How about, I go grab one more cup of coffee and then you tell me all about it?" She says, standing up and grabbing her small and empty cup of coffee. "I think I'm going to grab a snack too." She tells him, making him nod in response with a smile, agreeing. He sits back in his chair, putting his arms behind his head and relaxing, while he waits for her to get back.

Lexa doesn't even feel as scared going up to order again from the young girl. She feels a little anxious, but it's not nearly the same. Lincoln has always had a way of making her more confident and making her feel safe. 

She gets her second cup, as well as a little pastry and turns to head back over to the table. But before she can even take a step, she feels herself colliding into someone. And unfortunately for her, her fresh and very hot coffee ends up all over the front of her shirt. She makes a yelping noise and pulls her shirt forward to get it off of her skin, but it's still burning a little. 

"I am so sorry," the voice says, and Lexa looks up, seeing a girl looking at her with wide eyes. Before Lexa can even say anything, the girl is frantically wiping at her shirt with napkins. "Are you okay?" She asks, curiously. 

Lexa just stares at the girl who is still touching her body, her thoughts all racing. She's trying to get caught up to what had just happened, because it had all happened fast and was kind of a blur. And she's having a really hard time trying not to have a panic attack. "I-…I'm fine." She finally responds. "Um, you don't have to do that." She says, brushing the girl's hand away. She grabs some napkins herself and starts wiping at her shirt. 

"Right, sorry." She responds, fully taking away her hands and stepping back. "Let me by you another." The girl says, pulling Lexa back up to the counter, before the girl can even process it. It makes Lexa's anxiety go up and she snatches her hand away from the stranger, hugging it close to her body. The girl looks back at her, and raises a brow, when she feels the hand snatched away, but she doesn't comment. "What were you drinking?" 

Lexa just stares at her, still trying to calm herself down. She's feeling too anxious to talk to her, but she's trying really hard to breathe. "Just-…umm… a medium roast with half and half," she finally answers. The girl just nods and turns to order the drink for her. Lexa kind of wants to just turn around and run out, but then she remembers Lincoln and she remembers how confident she had felt just moments ago. She wants to be like that more. She wants to be normal. 

So she stays, even if she's having a hard time breathing. She just stares at the girl, watching her as she speaks and her every move. It's then, that she notices something seeming familiar about her. She's pretty sure she'd seen her before, but she can't place her. Maybe, she'd just seen her walking around campus. She'd seen a lot of people since she's been here. Or maybe she noticed her in one of her classes. 

The girl turns back to her and Lexa quickly looks down, feeling like she'd been a creeper for staring at her. "I'm Octavia by the way." The girl says, with an amused look on her face. She'd definitely caught her staring at her. "Here," she says, handing the new cup of coffee to Lexa. 

"Thank you. You really didn't have to do that." She comments with a shy smile. 

"It's the least I could do. I really wasn't watching where I was going. My roommate is freaking out over some mystery hottie she has a crush on being in her class." She says, rolling her eyes, but she has an amused look on her face. "I was trying to read the millions of text she was sending and wasn't paying attention. Let's just hope that you won't have burns from that. I know it had to of been a little painful." She says with a grimace. 

Lexa smiles and shrugs her shoulders. "It's fine. Really." It does hurt a little, but she's got a pretty high tolerance for pain by now.

Octavia just nods her head in response. "Okay, well I should really get going before my roommate has an aneurism." She says with a small laugh. "Maybe, I'll see you around." She says, with a small wave before heading out of the coffee shop. 

Lexa watches her walk out, still trying to place where she knows her from. It's kind of starting to bug her, but she can't figure it out. It's not like it really matters anyway. If she really knew her or anything, then she'd remember. She had to have been just a face she'd seen around campus. 

Deciding not to stress over it anymore, Lexa walks back over to the table with Lincoln, still wiping at her shirt. "I had an accident." She says shyly, when she sees him staring at her with his brows raised. 

Lincoln leans forward on his forearms and chuckles at her. "I saw," he nods. "I thought about going over to help, but you seemed to have it covered." He says, and almost looks impressed with her. The last time he'd seen her, that definitely would have sent her into a panic attack. "Did you know that girl?"

Lexa just shakes her head and folds up the dirty napkin, evenly. "No." She says simply, placing the napkin neatly on the end of the table, out of the way. "But she sort of looked familiar. She may be in one of my classes or something." She says with a shrug. 

"Well, you should get to know her." He says with a smirk. "She was hot." 

Lexa jerks her head up, looking at him with wide eyes, her face going red. "I'm not-…I mean.. I wasn't interested….like that…." she says, starting to feel embarrassed by what he was saying. Between him and Anya, she's probably going to die of embarrassment, over girls. She doesn't get why it's such a big deal to them. Or why they had to make it into a thing. You don't see her commenting every time they see an attractive person.

Lincoln just chuckles at how embarrassed she's getting. "Well, if you're not interested then I call dibs," he says wiggling his eyebrows. Lexa just rolls her eyes but smiles at him. 

"You can have her." 

\---

"Where have you been?" Clarke asks, as soon as Octavia walks into their room. "You didn't respond to my texts, but I saw that you read them." She says with a small pout, folding her arms across her chest. That's the one bad thing about having your read receipts still on. Though, she normally doesn't ignore Clarke so it's never been a big deal. 

"I went to get coffee and ended up running into this poor girl and spilling coffee all over her." Octavia says, shaking her head. She drops her bag down by her bed and sits down, looking over at Clarke who is sitting on her bed across from her. "She was cute." She comments, taking a drink of the coffee in her hand.

Clarke raises a brow at the girl and lets out a humming noise. "I'm sure she's super interested seeing as how you spilt hot coffee all over her." Clarke says with a smirk. 

Octavia laughs and then takes a sip of her coffee, glaring at the blonde. "It could have been iced, you don't know." She says, sticking her chin up in the air. Clarke just looks at her and Octavia rolls her eyes. "It wasn't. It was hot." She sighs, making Clarke giggle. "Whatever, I'll probably never see her again, anyway. Though, I guess you saw your mystery girl again." She says, thoughtfully. "But regardless, just because I said she was cute, doesn't mean I was interested. Do you know how many attractive people there are on this campus?" She asks, her eyes growing wide.

Clarke just shakes her head and laughs. "Can we get back to me and my girl?" 

"Your girl, huh?" Octavia asks, amused. 

"Whatever, you know what I mean." Clarke says with a roll of her eyes. "She's so fucking beautiful, O." She says, dreamily. 

Octavia smiles at her and then it turns into a smirk. "What's her name?" She asks, curiously. "I mean, did you at least talk to her this time?" She asks, raising a brow at the girl. Normally Clarke is a pretty confident person, but she's never really seen her act this way towards anyone. Almost shy about her. 

But before she can respond, their door opens, making them look up. "Oh sure, just walk right in. This is your room too." Octavia says sarcastically when they see Raven walk into the room. 

Raven glares at her and sits down on the bed, stealing Octavia's cup of coffee from her. "It is. I'm your honorary roommate." She states with a shrug. "Come on, it's already not fair that I don't actually get to room with you. Now you're going to make me actually knock like we aren't best friends?" She asks with a small pout. 

"We're kidding with you Raven. You know you're welcome whenever you want." Clarke says, and Octavia nods in agreement, stealing back her coffee. 

"Good. Now, what were you guys talking about?" She asks, but then raises a finger before they can answer. "Let me guess, Clarke's mystery girl that I got about a million texts about?" She asks with a smirk, making Clarke's face turn red. 

"Sorry, I got excited." Clarke says shyly, though a little defensively too. But that's just mostly because she's embarrassed. She's never really acted this way about anyone and it's a little embarrassing to her. She feels like she's back in middle school crushing on someone. It's just that there is something about this girl.

"Yeah, but she hasn't spilt anything yet." Octavia replies with a nod. She's just been gushing about how pretty she is." She adds with a chuckle, making Clarke glare at her a little, her face turning even more red. "So anyway, did you actually talk to the girl? And what is her name, because I'm tired of calling her mystery girl." 

"Hm, I kind of like it." Raven says. "It's all mysterious and makes it seem a lot cooler." She adds, making both Clarke and Octavia roll their eyes, though they're a little amused with the girl. 

"I did talk to her, but I don't know her name." She says, which confuses both of her best friends. "She's not much of a talker." Clarke says with a frown. "She seemed really nervous. Like…really nervous." She explains. "I don't know, I just kind of talked and she sat there…" 

"So, she's probably not interested." Octavia states, carefully. 

"Tell me you didn't go all Clarke on her." Raven says with a sigh. 

Clarke frowns and furrows her eyebrows. "What does that even mean? I am Clarke…." She says, clearly confused. She glances over at Octavia who has a smirk on her face, clearly meaning that she gets what Raven is saying. 

"It's just that… sometimes you can be a little…" Raven starts, though she's obviously trying to sugarcoat it and come up with the right words to not offend her friend so much. 

"Clarke," Octavia says simply, with a laugh, making Raven laugh as well. Though, Clarke obviously doesn't find it funny and just huffs and lets out a groan. 

"You're a little, much sometimes and you have this thing where you can piss people off really easy." Raven answers, clearly not caring about saying it lightly anymore. "Look, it's not like-… When you get to know you, it's kind of endearing." She shrugs. "But at first, you're a little annoying." She says, and Octavia nods in agreement. 

"And abrasive," Octavia adds. 

"And Stubborn as hell." Raven then cuts in, making Clarke feel more offended by the second.

"Don't get us wrong, we love you to death," Octavia jumps in, trying to remedy the situation. 

Clarke folds her arms over her chest and glares at them. "Seriously, why are you guys my best friends?" She asks, and they just smirk at her. Though, she knows a little about what they're talking about. She's been told a lot that she has a pretty strong personality. "But regardless of that confidence boost, it wasn't like that." She says defensively. "She wasn't being rude or brushing me off, she just seemed really shy." She says with a shrug. "I have all semester. I'll get her to talk to me." She says with a confident smile. "Besides, she kept looking at me during the lecture."

Raven and Octavia glance at each other and smirk. "Probably because she was trying to figure out why the weirdo next to her was staring at her." Octavia says, making Raven burst out laughing. Octavia follows suite and they have had a good laugh, while Clarke just glares at them.

"Seriously, worst best friends ever." She groans, standing up from her bed. She starts to head towards the door but Octavia reaches out and grabs her hand. 

"We're playing. We're sorry." She says, trying to look apologetic but she just ends up laughing once again. Clarke just huffs again and grabs her hand out of Octavia's grasps. She knows that they are just joking with her, but she's still annoyed with them. 

"I'm going out. Maybe to find some new friends." She comments. 

The girls look at her for a second, and think about trying to get her to stay, but they just keep laughing. They know she's not actually pissed off so they aren't too worried about it. They all joke around like this all of the time. 

And with that, Clarke is out the door. 

\---

Raven walks into her dorm room later that night and sees Lexa sitting at her desk, studying. "Oh hey." she says nonchalantly as she throws herself down on her bed. 

"Hi," Lexa responds quietly, not looking up from her book. She'd been alone for most of the afternoon, because Raven had been out, which she was happy with. But she knew the girl would have to come back at some point. At least she got a little bit of alone time to not feel completely anxious. 

Raven eyes her for a moment and can't resist making a comment. "You're already studying on your second day of class?" She asks in a teasing tone. 

Lexa tenses up yet again, at the sound of her roommates voice. She stops reading, but still doesn't look over at the girl. "I just like to be prepared and know the material." She answers quietly. Her fingers grip onto the book a little harder out of anxiety and she waits for the harsh comment that will probably come out of Raven's mouth. 

"You're one of those huh?" Is all she says, and Lexa isn't really sure what she means by that. Though she knows it's probably not a good thing. Not in Raven's eyes anyway. "Like a huge nerd. The one that always got shoved into lockers at school and who sat in the front row and was that annoying teachers pet who answered every question." She explains, figuring that Lexa didn't know what she meant. 

Lexa swallows and thinks back to her high school experience. She was definitely shoved into lockers and worse. But she didn't exactly answer questions, not because she didn't know. She of course knew all of the answers, she just was too afraid to speak in class. 

"Look, don't get all defensive and emo over there." Raven says. "I never said it was a bad thing, I was just pointing it out." She shrugs, but still doesn't get the girl to look over at her. It just makes Raven roll her eyes and turn her attention away from her roommate. "Such a freak," she mumbles with a sigh. But really she's just annoyed that she never gets any reactions or even acknowledgment from the girl. Because even if Raven won't admit it, that's why she acts the way she does. For attention. 

Instead, she focuses on her cell phone and sees she already has a few texts waiting on her. Of course from her best friends, because really, who else would she text?

Clarke: (7:45pm) - I went to the coffee shop and guess what? I spilled my coffee all over a pretty girl. 

Clarke: (7:45pm) - Oh no, that was you, O. 

O: (7:46pm) - I hate you. But are you still there? I'm bored. 

Clarke: (7:48pm) - You sure you're not just trying not to see your mystery girl again? 

O: (7:47pm) - Would you get over the fact that I said she was cute? I didn't fall in love at first sight with some stranger like you.

Clarke: (7:49pm)- No, you just threw coffee at her. 

O: (7:47 pm) - I didn't throw it at her!!! 

Raven's brows furrow, because she has no idea what the two girls are talking about. It pisses her off a little, because they've only been roommates for two days and she's already out of the loop. She knew this was going to happen. They're going to leave her out of things and eventually just forget about her. 

She groans and leans her head back on her pillow. Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, she looks up to see Lexa staring at her. "What?" She snaps, making the girl quickly look back down at her book, like a scared little puppy. Raven smirks and looks back at her phone. 

Raven: (7:49pm) - What are you guys even talking about? What did I miss? And rude that I have to ask. 

O: (7:49pm) - It's because there isn't anything to tell. It was nothing. 

Clarke: (7:50 pm) - O has her own mystery hottie. She spilled coffee on her earlier today. 

Raven: (7:51pm) - What?? You didn't tell me? 

O: (7:53pm) - I told Clarke I spilled my coffee on some girl and then I mentioned she was cute. I'm not crushing on a stranger like Clarke over here. That's just weird.

Clarke: (7:52pm) - Whatever, she won't be a stranger for long. I get to spend all semester with her. 

Raven: (7:52pm) - So we should plan the wedding for January? 

O: (7:52pm) - Maybe February. They can have a cliche Valentines wedding. It'd be the cutest thing. 

Raven: (7:53pm) - True, to go with their cliche love at first sight meeting. It's a story for the grandkids. 

Clarke: (7:54pm) - Again, I hate you both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here is chapter two for you guys!! 
> 
> Also, I had many people commenting about how they have Aspergers or they know someone who does. I just want to say that even though I do have a really close friend with it, I'm not trying to say I know everything about it. I may get some things incorrect but the last thing I am doing is trying to offend anyone. So hopefully you all know that and it doesn't come to that. I'll try to do my best with the character and syndrome, but I also ask that even if you have some criticism to not attack me, because again, that's the last thing I want to do is offend someone. 
> 
> So anywho!! Let me know how this chapter was and if you're interest or if I messed up and had a one chapter hit wonder lol


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke lets out a heavy sigh as she scans the little closet in her dorm room. She'd been standing here for probably a good, at least 7 minutes, just looking over her wardrobe. She hasn't even really touched anything or attempted to try anything on. She just can't decide for the life of her what to wear and it's starting to really frustrate her. How is it that she has so much packed into this tiny little closet, yet nothing at all to wear?

Deciding, she should probably hurry and get dressed before she's late for class, she reaches out and picks something, quickly changing into it. She's not even supposed to be in her room right now. She's in between classes, but luckily her last one got out 15 minutes early so she had a little time so spare. Which gave her the idea to walk to her dorm and change clothes. It's not like she had anything better to do.

She walks over to her mirror, checking herself out, and scrunches her face up. With a sigh, she takes the clothes off and goes for another outfit, repeating the action a few times. None of the outfits, looking good on her. Or at least not in her opinion. Not today anyway.

Having had enough, Octavia finally decides to speak up. She'd been sitting on her bed on her laptop the whole time, witnessing Clarke's actions. "What are you doing?" She asks, her voice sounding just as annoyed as Clarke seems. "You've been staring at your closet for years," she exaggerates with a huff.

Clarke frowns, but doesn't turn around to look at her roommate. "I can't decide what to wear." She tells her simply, before picking out another outfit and trying it on, then also deciding it didn't look good.

"Why does it matter? It's just class, throw something on. What you had on all morning was fine." She says rolling her eyes at the blonde. But then it clicks in her mind just why Clarke had come back to the dorm to change randomly in the middle of the day. She looks back up at Clarke with a smirk. "Wait," she says, glancing over at the clock on Clarke's nightstand. "Is this the class you have with the mystery hottie?" She says, her smirk growing by the second. She hears Clarke huff and that's enough of an answer for her. "Oh my God, you're trying to impress her. This is so cute." She comments, laughing loudly. 

"Will you just go back to doing whatever you were doing?" Clarke asks, waving her hand at her roommate, brushing her off. She feels pathetic enough for even doing this, she doesn't need to get made fun of or mocked by Octavia.

Octavia smiles and rolls her eyes, sitting her laptop aside before getting off the bed. "Here, wear this shirt." She says, pulling one off the bar holding some of Clarke's clothes. "This blue makes your eyes stand out even more and it makes your boobs look awesome." She comments, making Clarke raise a brow at her. "What? You really think that I haven't noticed your tits? We may be best friends, but they're great tits." She says with a chuckle. 

Clarke takes the shirt out of Octavia's hand without another word and puts it on over her head. She looks in the mirror, tilting her head as she looks at herself in the shirt. She has to hand it to Octavia, her boobs do look great in this shirt. Though, today she isn't feeling like she looks good in anything. But this is the best so far, and she really should get going soon.

"And wear these jeans," She says, handing Clarke a pair of jeans that she had picked out. "They fit your ass best out of your other jeans, plus the color goes with the shirt best." She decides, holding them out, before sitting back down on her bed. "Oh and wear your black boots." she says, as she picks her laptop back up, sitting it down on her lap to continue whatever it was she had been doing.

"Thanks, O." Clarke says as she pulls the jeans up her legs. Once she has them on, she looks for her black boots, finding them pretty quickly and sits down on the end of her bed. "Am I completely stupid for this?" She asks with a frown, starting to put her boots on her feet. 

Octavia looks over at her and scrunches her lips to the side, thinking it over. It makes Clarke a little anxious that she doesn't answer right away. She's not sure what the girl is going to say to her. Probably tell her that she is indeed an idiot. "No," Octavia finally decides. "You're attracted to her, of course you want to try and get her attention or impress her. It's called trying to get the girl." She says with a shrug. "At least you're trying and not just siting around seeing if she makes a move on you. Or wondering if she's even interested." 

"I don't know if she is even interested." She says with a sigh. 

"No, but you'll never know unless you actually try." Octavia points out. She watches Clarke get up off the bed, finishing getting ready and looks the girl up and down admiring her own handiwork. "You look great. Go get her Griff," she says, reaching out to slap Clarke on the ass. 

Clarke turns around and glares at her, but it quickly turns into a giggle and she shakes her head at her best friend. "Bye, O. I'll see you after class." She says as she grabs her bag. She gives herself one more look over in the mirror before walking out the door, headed to her class.   
\---  
Clarke walks into the class she has with the mystery girl and sees her already sitting down in her same seat. Clarke smiles and heads up the stairs, making her way down the row where she sits next to the girl. "Hey," she says with a smile, sitting down, and placing her bag down by her feet. 

Lexa looks tense, just like she had the last time. Once again as soon as Clarke had gotten close to her, her pen had paused on her paper and she'd frozen up. She looks up at Clarke this time though, acknowledging her, which is something she hadn't done that last time. "Hi," Lexa actually returns softly. 

Clarke is a bit surprised, but smiles widely finally hearing the girl's voice. She wants to hear that voice on repeat. Clarke tries to hide her excitement though and not look like a complete idiot. The girl only said hi to her. It's not like she agreed to be her girlfriend or something. 

Okay, let's not think about that. 

"How's your day going so far?" Clarke asks, hoping the girl will continue to talk to her and not get all shy and close up again. 

Lexa chews on her bottom lip, staring down at the paper on her desk, not looking back over at Clarke. She's nervous and her anxiety is getting the best of her, but she's trying really hard to keep calm in front of this girl. She rocks back and forth just a bit and as subtly as she can, but still getting the comfort from the action. Taking in a deep breath she musters up all the courage she can to talk to the blonde next to her. "It's going well, Clarke," she finally responds.

Her voice is a little monotone, but Clarke kind of likes it. Especially hearing her name come out of her mouth. She's surprised the girl even remembered her name. She just sort of wishes that she knew this girl's name. "Good." Clarke replies with a smile. She chews on her lip and wants to keep talking to her, but she's not really sure what to say, she also doesn't want to come on too strong as her friends would say. Thanks to them, she's kind of rethinking everything. Plus, it's obvious the girl isn't still fully relaxed in front of Clarke. Even if they are making some progress. 

Before she has too long to dwell on it, the professor walks in and starts the lecture for the day. With a sigh, she turns in her seat and starts listening to him. She loves Art, hence why it's her major, but this class is a little boring to her. It's mostly about the history of Art, and they're starting in an era that doesn't interest her as much as others. It also doesn't help that the professors voice puts her to sleep, he's so boring. 

Opening up her sketchpad, she starts to draw to keep herself occupied. She should probably be listening to the lecture, but she can't find herself focusing. She just keeps zoning out and trying not to fall asleep. At least drawing makes her feel less bored and a little more productive. She can just reread the textbook before the test and do alright. She already knows a good amount of Art History anyway.

Next to her, Lexa isn't having too much better luck. Art has never really been her strong suite, though she always has been pretty interested in Art, even if she can't do it herself. But the professor to her, is just as boring as he is to Clarke. Plus, the blonde next to her is a pretty big distraction as well. 

She keeps glancing over at the girl and noticed that she had started to draw. It peaked her interest, making her continuously glance over. Though she's trying to not stare and be as subtle as possible with her leering. She's drawing a landscape and it's absolutely stunning. Lexa is very impressed with her talent. She wishes that she could draw like that.

At the end of the class, Lexa barely even notices that they're dismissed because she'd been so in her head and so caught up watching Clarke draw. When she finally snaps out of it, she shakes her head and quickly starts packing up her things, a small blush covering her cheeks. She can feel Clarke staring at her and it just makes her feel even more embarrassed. She hopes she hadn't been caught staring at her. Though she was more so staring at her work. Not to say that she didn't also glance at the blonde herself a few times as well. She couldn't help it. The girl is beautiful. 

She chances looking up at the Clarke, who is now packing up her own things as well. "That um-…" Lexa starts to say, but then gets nervous and stops talking. She inwardly groans at herself and feels like an idiot. Giving herself a mental pep talk, she sets her jaw and clenches her fist in her lap. She can do this. "You're drawing was really good," she finally says in a shy voice. A part of her is thrilled that she finally said it, but the other part of her wants to run and hide.

Clarke looks over at her and smiles widely, surprised that Lexa complimented her. "Oh, thank you," she replies sincerely. She hesitates for a moment, but then decides to just go for it. She reaches back into her bag and pulls her sketchbook back out. "Here, you can have it." She offers with a smile, ripping the page out and offering it to Lexa. 

Lexa's eyes widen and she shakes her head. "Oh no, I can't take that." She replies quickly. "I mean…you worked really hard on it and I-…" she says, and then shuts her mouth realizing she was about to start rambling. She always goes from not being able to talk to not being able to shut up.

Clarke just holds her smile and keeps her hand out. "No, please. I insist. I want you to have it." She says, nudging it closer to the girl. 

"Why?" Lexa asks bluntly, not understanding why this stranger would want her to have a drawing that she made. 

Clarke smiles at her and hesitates for a second then decides to just say it. "A beautiful girl deserves a beautiful drawing." She says with a small shrug.

Lexa can actually feel her face turning red this time and she's pretty sure it's the reddest that her face has ever been. She can hear her heart beating in her ears and her palms are suddenly even more sweaty than when she gets anxious. Her stomach is doing that weird flipping thing again, but regardless, all the can do is smile. She reaches out and takes the drawing from her. "Thank you, Clarke." She says shyly, trying to hold back just how excited by the gesture she actually is. 

"You're welcome," Clarke returns, just as giddy. She can tell by the look on the girl's face, how happy she is by the action. And she didn't miss the blush that formed on her face when she called her beautiful.It gives her a little hope that maybe this girl could actually be into her as well.

Without another word, Lexa puts the drawing in her bag, the smile still on her face and finishes packing her things up. Clarke can't help but notice the letters written across her backpack, that she'd never noticed before. 'Alexandria'. 

Clarke smiles to herself, finally knowing her mystery girl's name. And it was beautiful, just as beautiful as her. 

\---  
Lexa practically skips over to the coffee shop across from her dorm room. The smile is still plastered across her face and she's pretty sure it's not going away anytime soon. She gets her coffee as quickly as she can and goes to sit in the back corner of the coffee shop. 

She pulls her phone out of her pocket and then reaches into her backpack. Pulling out the drawing Clarke made, she puts it on the table and then takes a picture of it with her phone. She puts it back in her bag safe and sound so nothing can get spilt on it, then picks her phone back up. She sends Anya a message of the drawing. 

Sitting back, still smiling, she sips on her coffee as she waits for Anya's response. Which doesn't take long at all. 

Anya: (4:11pm) - That's beautiful. Where'd you get that?

Lexa: (4:11pm) - Clarke drew it in class. She gave it to me!

Anya: (4:12pm) - Yeah? That was nice of her. She's got some real talent. 

Lexa: (4:13pm) - I know! She's amazing. 

Anya: (4:14pm) - I think she may have a little crush on you as well. 

Lexa: (4:14pm) - No, she doesn't. I told her that I liked it and she gave it to me. It wasn't a big deal. But it still made me really happy.

Anya: (4:16pm) - I don't know sis. I think she may. 

Lexa: (4:16pm) - I'm meeting Lincoln. I'll text you later. Love you. 

Anya: (4:17pm) - Fine, but you aren't avoiding this forever! Love you too.

Lexa just sighs and puts her phone back in her pocket. She would like to think that maybe Clarke could like her, but she also knows in her past experience that it's not likely. Especially someone like Clarke. She wouldn't like her. But maybe she could at least make friends with her. Lexa's never even really had a friend before. She'd be happy with that as well. 

Glancing at the time, she realizes that Lincoln is probably waiting on her outside of her dorm room so she gets up and throws her backpack over her back and heads out of the coffee shop. And she's right because as soon as she walks out, she sees him sitting on a picnic bench outside of the building. She smiles and heads over to him. 

"Hey," she greets, making him look up at her and smile. 

"Hey lil one," he greets back, standing up and pulling her into a hug. "Let's go inside, it's hot out here," he says, making Lexa chuckle and nod her head.

Lexa opens her dorm room door and lets Lincoln walk in before her. She's happy to see that her roommate isn't here at the moment, so she doesn't have to deal with her. She can just have some time with Lincoln and not get harassed or have him get harassed by her. She doesn't want what happened with Anya to happen with Lincoln. It made her uncomfortable. 

"I forgot how small the Freshman dorms are," he says, looking around her room. 

"How big is yours?" She asks curiously. 

He turns back to her, "I stay in the student apartments across the street, I don't have a dorm. Have my own bedroom and everything." He says with a smug smile, teasing her a little for having to stay in the dorm. "But, don't worry, I had to do the dorm thing as well. My roommate was kind of an ass too, but we ended up getting along in the end." He says with a shrug. "I still hang out with him pretty often, actually. Maybe you and Raven can get to know each other and be okay." He says hopefully. 

Lexa rolls her eyes and scoffs. "Doubt it. She hates me," she mumbles with a sigh. "I wish I had my own bedroom." She says wistfully. 

Lincoln just lets out a noise of acknowledgment as he wanders around the room, going over to Raven's side. Lexa wants to say something, but she decides to let him go, he's not doing anything yet. "She has no pictures." He says with a frown. 

"Yeah well, I don't either." She shrugs. "Not many people still print out photos anymore." She says matter of fact. 

"I wanted to see what the devil looks like." He says with a small pout. It makes Lexa chuckle at him, and shake her head. 

"I'm sure that you'll meet her. Maybe even today. I don't know when she'll be back. And I never called her the devil." She adds, furrowing her brows. Sure, the girl is intimidating and scares her a little, but she'd never go that far and call her a name like that. She's definitely run into worse. At least Raven doesn't just constantly try and make her life hell and she's never touched her before so that's a good thing. She makes comments here and there, but mostly they just ignore each other. She can deal with that. "Will you stop touching her things!" She just about shrieks, when she notices him picking up random things and looking at them. 

Lincoln laughs and puts it down, backing away with his hands up. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just curious," he apologizes. He moves back over to Lexa's side of the room and notices her hanging something up over her bed. He climbs onto the bed and looks at it curiously. "Hey, that's pretty cool." He says, reaching out to point at the newly hung drawing that he was talking about. He looks back over at Lexa and sees her blushing with a smile on her face. He raises a brow, giving her a curious look. 

"Clarke drew it." She says shyly, wringing her hands in front of her. 

Lincoln smiles and nods his head. "Is Clarke the girl that Anya told me about? The blonde you've been crushing on since you first moved in?" He asks with a grin and she just groans at him. 

"She told you all of that?" She asks, annoyed. She stomps one foot on the ground and clenches her fists to her side. "I can't believe she told you that." She says with a pout. "And I'm not-….I don't have a crush on her," she says quietly, averting her eyes away. 

Lincoln just chuckles at the girl. "Okay, sorry." He says, not wanting to upset her or get her all worked up. "The drawing is really cool and it's cool that she gave it to you." He says, wanting to make her smile again. And it works, but he can still tell that she doesn't really want to talk about Clarke, or she's weary about what he'll say about Clarke and her crush on the girl. So he decides to give her a break. "Alright, let's watch a movie or something." He says, patting the bed next to him to get Lexa to sit down and try and relax. 

Lexa smiles gratefully and climbs on the bed with him. She reaches over for her laptop and opens it up. She starts up her Netflix and scrolls through, picking something that she thinks both of them will enjoy. Or at least she hopes so.

About 20 minutes till the end of the first movie, the dorm room door opens up and Raven walks in. Lincoln can feel Lexa tense up next to her and he reaches out, putting a hand on her arm in a calming manner. He stares at Raven, watching her and sizing her up as she walks into the room. He can definitely see how Lexa finds her intimidating. She's pretty fit and the look on her face is murderous almost. Like she's just waiting to fuck someone up at any moment. He wonders if she always looks like that or if she's just angry about something right now. 

"Didn't know you were having company. Sorry," Raven comments, not actually sounding that apologetic as she glances at the two. "Or I didn't think you'd have company…ever," she adds, raising a surprised brow. She looks Lincoln up and down and it makes Lexa uncomfortable just the way it had when she looked at Anya. "You have some hot friends." She comments, like she can't believe how Lexa is doing it. Though Anya is her sister so she didn't actually choose that. She just got lucky.

"Thanks," Lincoln comments, his voice giving away that he's not exactly taking it as a compliment. He can tell she's being a bitch to Lexa and he's not going to enable her. "But what did you expect? Lexa is a gorgeous girl." He comments, making Lexa turn beat red. 

Raven gives him a look like he's crazy and then acts like she's about to throw up. "Whatever. I'm just changing and then I'm going to meet my friends so I'll be out of your hair." She says with a sigh, before turning to her closet. She pulls out a few things and then starts changing right there in front of Lincoln and Lexa. Which, Lexa is used to it because she's changed in front of her multiple times by now. Lexa always changes in the bathroom is Raven is around, but Raven doesn't seem to care. At all. 

Lincoln averts his eyes and the two of them sit there a bit awkwardly for a few seconds. "Alright, let's keep watching." He says, pushing play on the movie that had been paused upon the girl's entrance. 

Lexa just nods and tries to keep her thoughts off of her roommate and make herself relax again.

\----

"Thank you," Clarke says with a smile as their waitress places their food down in front of them. She looks at it with hunger in her eyes and quickly picks up her silverware to begin eating. She hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and she was about to eat Raven's arm, if the food had taken one more minute. 

"Slow down there, Griff," Octavia comments with a chuckle, though it is a little ironic that her mouth had been stuffed with her own food as she'd made the comment. 

Raven just rolls her eyes at her two friends as she eats her own food like a normal person. "So my weirdo roommate had a guy over today. They were watching a movie when I went to change clothes." She comments, making both girls look up at her. Neither really reacts though because they'd yet to meet the girl so they still couldn't tell if it'd be weird for her to have a guy over or really why Raven hated her so much. She sounded a bit odd to them, but they didn't understand why Raven disliked her so much. Well actually they did, it's just because she's still mad that she didn't get to room with one of them. So she's taking it out on her new roommate. 

"Is that odd? It's college. Maybe she's not as anti social as you say she is." Clarke says with a shrug. "Maybe she just doesn't like you, just like you don't like her." 

Raven considers the thought for a moment and shrugs. "I don't care if she doesn't like me." She responds. "But regardless, this guy was hot. Like model hot, way too hot for her." She says with a huff. "And he was being all gross like calling her gorgeous and everything." She says with a grimace. "I don't want to see any couple being cute like that, but especially not my freak of a roommate." She says with a shiver. "Plus, I was kind of thinking that'd be the plus side to how weird she is. I wouldn't have to worry about walking in on any funny business, but apparently that's not the case." She says dramatically. 

Clarke and Octavia just laugh and decide to not go further into the conversation or enable her about her roommate. She already talks about her enough. "Speaking of couples. What's up with you and that guy that asked you out? What was his name?" Octavia asks, turning to Clarke. 

"Finn," she informs them. "And he didn't ask me out." She says, feeling the need to point that out first. "Like I said, he knows that I'm an art major. There's this coffee shop with a lot of really cool art and a lot of the customers even bring in their art and draw and paint and stuff." She informs them. "We went yesterday, it's actually pretty cool." 

Raven raises her brows, "You went on a date yesterday and didn't tell us?" She asks, acting offended. Or maybe not really acting. 

"It wasn't a date," Clarke groans, getting really annoyed that they won't give up on this. "He is a really nice guy and I had fun with him, but I'm not into him like that, alright?" She tries to explain, hoping they'll believe her and drop it. 

"Well, does he know that?" Raven asks curiously. 

Clarke looks a little guilty or maybe uncomfortable for a moment. "I don't know. I mean, we didn't kiss or anything. And he hasn't brought anything up about it being a date. I don't want to say to him that it's not a date, when maybe that isn't what he wanted in the first place." She explains. "I guess, I'll just cross that bridge when it comes to it. For now, it's nice to have a friend that isn't you guys." she says, making both girls gasp dramatically. 

"That hurts, Griff." Octavia says, and Raven nods in agreement. 

Clarke rolls her eyes at her friends and sticks her tongue out at them. But she doesn't respond, she knows they aren't actually offended and it's all jokes. She just continues eating her meal, hoping the subject was dropped about Finn.

"Hey, Bellamy just text me and invited us to a party tomorrow night." Octavia says, her eyes lighting up in excitement. "It'll be our first college party! We have to go!" She exclaims, already typing him back in a hurry, letting him know that they'll be there. 

Clarke just shrugs, "I'm in." 

"Me too," Raven agrees. 

\---

Raven walks into her room after a long day at school. Now that they're actually getting into the coursework, it's been pretty grueling. Right now she's just taking basic classes for the most part which is extremely boring. She can't wait to start learning about something she actually cares about and something towards her engineering major. That's when she fun starts. 

When she walks in, she sees her roommate packing a bag, which confuses her. "Going some place?" She asks curiously, sitting down on her own bed and looking over at the anxious girl. 

"My sisters for the weekend." She responds, without looking up from her task. 

Raven smirks, folding her arms over her chest. "Tell the hot sister I say hi." She says and Lexa rolls her eyes, but still doesn't look up. "Well, you're going to miss a huge party tonight." Raven says, though she figures the girl wouldn't have wanted to go anyway. Not that she was going to invite her if she hadn't been leaving for the weekend. 

Lexa just shrugs her shoulders and continues folding her clothes neatly and placing them into her suitcase. "I don't like parties." She says simply. 

"Shocker." Raven returns, simply. 

Lexa decides to not respond to that, and simply continues doing what she was doing. Once she gets all of her clothes put in her bag, she grabs her list and goes over it again, to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. Seeing movement, it makes her lift her head up from her list and she sees Raven changing once again. She quickly looks back down, although she's starting to get used to it. She still doesn't want to stare at the girl. 

But when she sees a few articles of clothing being thrown on her side of the room she frowns. Raven's side is really messy and it kind of drives her nuts, but she doesn't want to tell her roommate how to keep her side. It's her side after all. But Lexa has hers very cleaned and organized. So when Raven's clothes are on her side, she doesn't really know what to do. She doesn't want Raven to get mad and yell at her or something, but she's going to freak out if those clothes stay just laying there haphazardly. 

She bites down on her lip, trying to decide what to do. Slowly, she makes her way over to the item and carefully bends down, picking it up. She plans to just hand it over to Raven as nicely as possibly and not start anything but she doesn't know if that's a possibility. She just knows she can't just leave it there. 

"What are you doing?" Raven's voice asks, startling Lexa and making her almost drop the shirt. 

Lexa looks up at her and then quickly looks back down. "Um, I just.. I was going to give it to you and get it off the floor." She says quietly, extending her arm out. 

Raven looks annoyed and just puts her hands on her hips. "Really? Was a shirt on the floor bothering you that much?" She asks, unbelievingly. 

"No-…I mean.. I just like my side clean, I'm sorry." She apologizes, still holding the shirt out for Raven to take. 

Raven smirks and grabs the shirt from her. "I pegged you as the OCD type." She claims. "I bet looking at my side is just killing you, huh?" She asks, but Lexa doesn't respond to her, she just swallows and Raven sees it. "Well, I'm not really a clean person, so you'll have to learn to live with that." She says, throwing the shirt down on the floor, but on her side.

"Okay," Lexa just says quietly, turning around to go back to her packing. Raven is right, looking over at her side kills her, but she can't exactly do anything about it. It's her side and she can keep it however she wants. Lexa just wishes she didn't have to look at it. She likes to have everything in order and perfectly organized, otherwise she can't pretty bad anxiety. But like Raven said, she'll just have to deal with it. 

Deciding to move on, she goes back to her list and looks to see what else she has left to pack. At least, she'll be at her sisters for a couple of days, and won't have to deal with the mess. Anya is pretty messy as well, but she at least tries to keep clean for Lexa. And also, Lexa can clean up her apartment and it won't matter. She can touch her things without crossing any lines. 

She looks up at the drawing Clarke made for her and debates on if she should take it. She'll only be gone a couple of days so it'd kind of be pointless, but she kind of wants to. It makes her feel happy when she looks at it. Plus, who knows if Raven will mess with her things while she's gone. She doubts it, but you never know. And she'd be pretty upset if something happened to Clarke's drawing.

Deciding to just go for it, she grabs the drawing and puts it in one of her binders, before safely placing it in her bag so it won't get wrinkled or messed up. "There," she says quietly, to herself when she realizes she's all done packing. She nods to herself, looking at her bags and then picks up the list just to go over it a couple of more times. She always gets anxiety when going somewhere, afraid she'll forget something. Not that she'll be far away, plus if she does need something, she's sure Anya would have it or she could just buy another of whatever she needs. But it still makes her nervous.

"i'll see you on Monday," Lexa says quietly, picking up all of her bags. She heads for the door with one last glance at Raven who just distractedly waves at her. Anya should be here any minute to pick her up and she'd rather just wait outside for her than in her dorm room. And Anya is normally really good about being on time or even early because she knows how punctual Lexa is and how she gets worked up even if she's just a few minutes late. 

\---

Clarke looks over to her dorm room door when she hears it opening and sees Raven walk inside. She smiles at her best friend and then looks down to the bottle that Raven has in her hands. "Where did you get a bottle of Whiskey?" She asks, with a raised brow. 

Raven just smirks and sits it down on her desk. "I have my ways. Never question me, Griffin," she says, as she places down a few plastic cups that she had also brought with her. She makes three shots for the three of them and hands them off. "To our first college party, ladies." She says, holding her cup up. 

The other two grab theirs as well and cheers her, before shooting the harsh liquor. They all grimace and throw the cups down. "Ugh, that's awful." Clarke comments with a groan. 

"Sure, but we have to pre-game." Raven replies, already pouring another for the three of them. "You bitches almost ready?" She asks, glancing at both of them.

Clarke nods her head and stands up from her bed. She grabs some heels out of her closet and sits back down on the bed, before putting them on. "I'm ready, just waiting on this one." She says, pointing over to Octavia who was still in front of the mirror doing her make up. 

"Should have known we'd be waiting on her." Raven says playfully with a smirk. Octavia just flips her off, making both Raven and Clarke giggle. "Oh, and good news. Roomie is staying at her hot sisters for the weekend so I have my dorm to myself," she says in a sing song voice. She picks up the three shots and hands them off to Clarke and Octavia once again. "So cheers to being able to bring someone back tonight without scarring the little freak." She says with a smile, holding her cup up once again. 

Both girls roll their eyes in response, but cheers her and down the shot anyway. "I still want to meet this roommate. She can't be that bad." Clarke says, figuring that her friend is just being dramatic, like always. 

"Oh, she is. She just about had a panic attack earlier because I left a shirt lying on the floor." She says like it was the worst thing in the world. "I'm the worst person to be paired with some crazy OCD chick." Raven says, shaking her head. "She's probably going to murder me in my sleep soon." 

"Good," Both, Clarke and Octavia say at the same time. The two of them giggle at each other, and Raven just glares at them, before mocking their laughter. 

"Can we go now?" Raven asks impatiently, looking over at her friend that they were waiting on. She pours one more quick shot before they go and hands them off, before looking at Octavia expectantly. 

"Yes, I'm ready," she replies, checking herself in the mirror one last time, before grabbing the shot from Raven. "To a great night!" She says, as the three of them hold our their glasses excitedly. 

\---

"Damn," They all three say as the walk up to the frat house where the party was being thrown. They'd been to their fair share of parties in high school, but it was nothing like this. The house was huge and you could see even from the outside that it was packed throughout the entire house. There were even a lot of people outside on the lawn. And most of them they could tell were already drunk, by how loud and stupid they were acting. 

"Okay, I need a drink," Clarke states, taking the first step to walk inside. If she was going to deal with a bunch of drunk college kids, she'd definitely need to be drunk as well. It doesn't take her long to maneuver around the house and find the kitchen, where all the alcohol was. And there was definitely a lot of it. Pretty much anything you could imagine wanting was sitting out on all the cabinets. 

She starts pouring herself a mixed drink and looks around to find Octavia and Raven already talking to a group of people. She's not surprised because they're a lot more social than she is. Not to say that she isn't, she just needs a few drinks in her before she can be as outgoing and carefree as they are. 

"Hey you," She hears a voice say, making her turn around. She sees Bellamy standing behind her and she smiles, reaching out to give him a hug. "Where's my sister and Reyes?" He asks, assuming they'd be with him. 

Clarke just tilts her head towards her two friends, making him look up to see them out talking to people. She can tell he looks a little longer than he should, probably making sure nobody was being inappropriate to his little sister, and then looks back down at her. "Help me keep an eye on her, yeah?" He asks, and she nods. "These parties get out of hand sometimes and I know how frat guys are." He comments and she nods in agreement. 

Sure, she's nobody's babysitter, but she is a good friend and doesn't want anyone stepping out of line with her friends. Or them getting into something that they shouldn't. Sometimes they can be a little too carefree and get a little too drunk. She feels like the mom of the group sometimes. 

"Alright well me and my buddy Lincoln are about to be up at beer pong. Have fun. I'll catch up with you later," he says, before walking off to go talk to his own group of friends. 

Clarke scans the crowd, just watching people as she leans up against the counter sipping on her drink. She was kind of hoping by some miracle that she'd see her mystery girl, well she supposes she can call her Alexandria now. Or maybe Alex? She's not really sure. But at least she has some sort of a name for her now. But she also didn't figure the shy girl would want to come to a party like this.

She sees her friends moving into the living room which was a make shift dance floor and she decides to go and have some fun with them and dance. It's college, she's supposed to be letting loose a little, right? 

\---

After probably about 15 minutes of dancing, the girls take a break to go make another drink and catch a breather. Clarke had seen Finn around while she was dancing, but she'd yet to speak to him. She wanted to at least say hi to him, but he wasn't really her main concern right now. Plus, she's been thinking about what her two friends told her and she doesn't want to give him the wrong idea. She likes him a lot, but as a friend only.

They make their drinks and decide to walk around a bit, checking the party out. It doesn't take long for them to find the beer pong table and see Bellamy and his friend known as Lincoln still playing against two other guys that she doesn't know. "Bellamy's partner is hot," Octavia states, staring the guy up and down. 

Raven's eyes just about pop out of her head when she sees who it is. "That's my roommates hot boyfriend!" She says, pointing a finger at the boy. 

Clarke and Octavia's eyes both widen and Octavia looks a little disappointed. "Wow, you weren't lying when you said he was attractive." Clarke admits, impressed. "Obviously, your roommate isn't that bad or she's doing something right." She adds with a smirk, making Raven just roll her eyes and scoff.

It only takes a few more minutes for the game to be over, Bellamy and Lincoln losing by one cup, which all three know is going to make Bellamy be in a bad mood for at least a good 30 minutes or until he can play again and win. He's always been a sore loser. 

"Hey bro," Octavia greets when her brother walks over. "Who is your friend?" She asks, eyeing Lincoln who's standing on the other side of the table, watching the new match that had just started. 

"Oh, that's Lincoln, he was my roommate freshman year," Bellamy answers. He sees her staring over at him and frowns. "Don't get any ideas," he warns his little sister in that brotherly tone. Octavia just rolls her eyes and brushes him off. She'd talk to him if she wants to, but she knows her brother probably won't introduce them so she won't even ask. Though, she doesn't know if Lincoln would be interested in talking to his friends little sister. Bellamy always had to get in the way of people she likes. 

"That's my roommates boyfriend, anyway." Raven speaks up, reminding the girl. Not that she'd care if Octavia stole him away or not. But since he did have a girlfriend, it'd probably be a bit more challenging. 

Bellamy furrows his brows. "I don't think he has a girlfriend." He informs her. "Not that he's mentioned anyway," he says with a shrug. 

"Hey, Clarke," they all hear and all turn around to find the source of the voice. 

"Finn, hey." Clarke greets, answering all their questions about who this guy is and how he knows their friend. She can see the smiles on Octavia and Raven's faces just out of the corner of her eye. It makes her inwardly groan. "I thought I saw you earlier." She says with a smile, and takes a drink, trying to cover up how awkward she's feeling. Especially with Octavia, Raven and Bellamy staring at the two of them. 

"Want to dance?" He offers with his boyish smile. 

Clarke hesitates for a second, not wanting to seem rude, but she really didn't feel like dancing right now. And she is still trying to figure out how to act around him so that she doesn't give off the wrong vibes. "I actually just got done dancing. I need to catch my breath a little, but maybe later." she tells him. 

He just smiles and nods his head at her, seeming to have not been too bothered by the rejection. "I'll dance with you," Raven says, squeezing between Octavia and Clarke to walk towards the boy. He just nods with a smile and grabs her hand, pulling her out onto the dance floor. 

"I think Raven is going to steal your man," Octavia smirks as they both watch the two dancing. 

"He's not my man." Clarke says with a groan. "Seriously, she can have him." She adds and Octavia just chuckles at her. Bellamy looks confused and takes that moment to excuse himself, not wanting to get pulled into the drama or the girl talk. 

"I think I'm going to go talk to Mr. tall dark and handsome." Octavia says, turning her attention back over to Lincoln on the other side of the room. "You gonna be okay over here?" She asks, glancing at her best friend, making sure she's good before she leaves her alone 

"I'm fine. But be careful, he's friends with your bother and you know how Bellamy is." She says, even though she knows that in the end, Octavia is going to do what she wants. 

"I'm just going to go say hi." She says innocently with a shrug. Clarke just smirks at her as she watches her best friend walk around the table and stand next to the guy, acting like she's just as into the game as he is. She simply shakes her head and the brunette and walks away, deciding to see what else the party has to offer. 

\---

"Did Octavia seriously leave with that guy?" Clarke mumbles as her and Raven stumble down their dorm room hallway. "She doesn't even know him! How could we let her leave with him!" She just about shouts, not really caring how early in the morning it is in her drunken state. "Bellamy is going to kill me!"

Raven laughs at her and tightens her grip to keep her up, even though Raven's not exactly sober herself. She can just handle her liquor a lot better than Clarke can. "It's Bellamy's friend, I doubt he's going to do anything. Besides, I'm pretty sure they went back to you guys' room so at least we know where she is." She says with a shrug. "And I'm not her keeper anyway. She can do what she wants." Raven adds with a shrug. 

"I can't go to my room. I don't want to walk in on them doing the nasty." Clarke says with a grimace. 

"Doing the nasty?" Raven mocks, with a giggle. "Just stay in my room." She says, just as they reach said room. "Roommates out anyway, remember?" She reminds the blonde. She lets go of Clarke and pulls her keys out, struggling for a minute to get the door unlocked, but eventually gets it. 

They stumble inside and Clarke just about falls onto Lexa's bed, since it's the one closest to the door. "She smells good," Clarke mumbles, burying her face in the other girl's pillow. Normally, she'd never just lay in someone else's bed like this, because it's kind of weird and a personal boundary, but she's too drunk to care right now. And the smell is kind of intoxicating. Making her feel even more drunk than she already is. 

Raven just giggles at her best friend, not even having a mean come back like she normally would when it involved her roommate. "Keep it in your pants Griffin, you are not allowed to have a thing for her." Raven says sternly. 

Clarke just shrugs her shoulders and buries herself deeper into the girl's bed. "I'm just going to sleep here." She mumbles, already falling asleep.

"I don't care." Raven sighs, getting comfortable in her own bed as well. "She'll probably have an aneurism but, I don't care about that either." She responds, but it's too late for Clarke to care or change her mind because she is already passed out. 

But she'll definitely probably care in the morning. Or at least feel a little weird and bad for it. She knows that she wouldn't want some stranger sleeping in her bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Raven is still the same way so far. Whoops. She'll get better though, promise! She just has to be this way for some things I'm going to do in the future! Hopefully you guys won't be too put off by it!


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke lets out a groan and buries her face in her hands, her elbows propped up on the table. Her head is pounding and her stomach is feeling queazy. She sort of thinks that she may feel hungry, but then the also wants to throw up so it's a little confusing. And a lot annoying. "I'm so miserable," she murmurs, sliding her hands down her face just slightly so that she can see her two friends sitting across from her. "I'm never drinking again," she says with a sigh, letting her hands drop to the table as she leans back in her chair. 

Raven and Octavia just chuckle at her, though they aren't feeling too much better themselves. Except Raven can hide her hangover a lot better than the other two. She said she was hungover as well, but it doesn't really seem like it to them. She's been just as perky as ever this morning and had no hesitations about asking them to go to breakfast. "Just eat some breakfast it'll help." She says, glancing around the restaurant to see if maybe their waitress was on her way with their food yet. She's starving. 

"Food makes me nauseous." Clarke mumbles, trying not to gag just thinking about it. She ordered some toast and scrambled eggs, thanks to Raven's recommendation. Hopefully she'll be able to get something semi bland down, because pancakes, sausage and pretty much any other breakfast food almost made her puke on the spot. 

"Same," Octavia says with a sigh, looking just as bad off as Clarke does. 

"I can't believe that I slept in your roommates bed last night," Clarke says, feeling a little embarrassed at the fact. She would never have done that if she wasn't drunk. It's sort of disrespectful and she just hopes that the girl won't notice that anyone has been in her bed. She tried to make the bed back up this morning in hopes that it won't be noticeable. But if she's as OCD as Raven has mentioned then she probably will. 

Raven just waves her hand though, obviously not caring. "It's not like you had sex in it or something," she says with a shrug. "Though she'll probably have a heart attack when she finds out," she says with a small chuckle. "I'm sure she'll come in and notice that one of the pillows is like a centimeter off than it was when she left and go crazy." She says, and can't help but laugh at the image of her roommate freaking out over something so simple. 

Clarke just shakes her head and sighs. She feels bad, but there isn't really anything she can do about it now. Maybe, she'll just talk to the girl if she notices and apologize. Maybe if she sees her and sees that it was an accident and Clarke isn't like completely gross or something, she won't be so upset. "Her bed is really comfortable." Clarke says, thinking back to the bed with a pillow top on it that had felt like a cloud. She should get one of those because the dorm room beds are awful. 

"It apparently smelt good too," Raven says with a smirk, making Clarke blush and Octavia look confused. "She kept burying her face in the pillow and saying that my roommate smells good. It was gross really," Raven explains and Octavia glances at the embarrassed blonde, giggling. 

"So, O. Did you hook up with Lincoln last night?" Clarke asks, trying to get the subject off of herself. 

Octavia and Raven see what she did, but don't comment. They decide to let her off and change the topic as well. "I didn't," she says shaking her head and both women look confused. They could have sworn that she would have. Especially since they were both drunk and left together. "We got back to our room and I passed out while he was getting us some water," she says a slight blush creeping up on her cheeks. 

Both girls burst out laughing at Octavia's misfortune, making her glare at them. 

"I was really drunk, okay?" She says exasperated. "He was sweet though. He tucked me in and everything." She says with a smile. 

"You know Bellamy is going to kill both of you if he finds out you're crushing on his friend." Clarke says, raising a brow at her. "And if he finds out that you left with him last night he'll probably kick his ass." She adds, though by the looks of Lincoln, Bellamy would probably be the one getting his ass kicked. 

Before anyone else can get a word in, their food arrives. Raven claps her hands in joy and the other two look at it with small grimaces on their faces. They both look over to see Raven wasting no time in digging in, stuffing her face like she hasn't eaten in weeks and they both just about throw up. 

"Anyway," Octavia says, getting back to the subject at hand, directing her eyes off of Raven. "He can't be mad at me." She says matter of fact. "I mean, he had a crush on my best friend." She says, looking over at Clarke who just rolls her eyes. 

"That was years ago and I'm pretty sure he had a crush on any girl that wasn't related to him. He was a teenager." She says, not thinking that it was really that big of a deal. Sure he flirted with her a lot, but nothing happened between them and now nothing would ever happen. They've both said that they're like brother and sister. 

"Plus, he hooked up with you." Octavia says, now turning her attention over to Raven, who pauses in stuffing her face and looks up, caught off guard by being called out, her cheeks full of food. 

"I thought we were never going to bring that up again," Raven mumbles through a mouthful, her face scrunched up in annoyance. She'd been upset one night and Bellamy was there and she made a mistake. And Octavia was probably never going to let her live it down, though they'd agreed finally to just never talk about it again. Obviously that wasn't going to stick.

Clarke just laughs at the girl and shakes her head. "Regardless, O," Clarke says, getting the girls attention back onto her. Partly, because if she continued to stare at Raven stuffing her face for one more second she'd vomit everywhere, and partly because she actually has something to say. "You know Bellamy. None of that stuff matters, he's still going to be pissed." 

Octavia just shrugs, seeming to not care. "Whatever, he can get over it." She says matter of fact. "Besides, nothing happened between us last night." She points out. "And I don't know if anything else will happen after last night. We were both just drunk and I'm not trying to be with anyone right now anyway." She says. "I want to keep my options open." She adds, making both Raven and Clarke roll their eyes at her, but smile. Octavia always does like to have her fun. "What about you Raven? Anything happen with Finn?" She asks, now trying to get the attention off of herself. 

Raven shakes her head as she swallows the food in her mouth. "He's cute, but nothing happened." She voices. "Besides, he's Clarke's." She adds with a smirk, her eyes sliding over to the blonde she knows is glaring at her. And before Clarke can open her mouth, Raven puts a hand up stopping her. "He's not yours, I know." She chuckles. "I'm joking." She adds, but Clarke still doesn't look amused. "He's into you though. He kept asking me about you." She informs the blonde, taking a break from her eating to gulp some orange juice down. 

Clarke frowns at that, starting to feel a little bad. "What do I do?" She asks her friends, hoping to actually get some good advice from them. They could give advice when they wanted to, but it was sort of hard to get them to stop joking around and take things seriously sometimes. Neither of the three were really good at talking about feelings and things like that. They all preferred to just make jokes and brush things off, especially Raven and Octavia. Though Octavia isn't as bad as Raven.

"You should just talk to him. Make sure you guys are on the same page before it gets worse and he really starts to like you." Octavia speaks up, and Raven nods in agreement. 

"Ugh, he's so sweet though. I don't want to hurt his feelings." She says with a sigh. She throws the piece of toast down that she'd had in her hand, nibbling on. She couldn't really eat it anyway. And now she's really not hungry because she feels guilty about having not hurt Finn. Which, she shouldn't feel guilty about. It's not her fault that she doesn't like him like that. She just doesn't like letting people down.

"He's a big boy, he'll be fine," Raven says, reaching out and patting her on the shoulder. But it doesn't take long before she pulls her hand back so she can use both to finish stuffing her face. "Is this all about your mystery hottie? Tell me you're not passing up a chance with a sweet, hot guy for some girl that won't even talk to you." Raven says, raising a brow at her blonde friend and Octavia does the same. 

Clarke sighs and looks down, but doesn't exactly deny it either. She's not interested in Finn regardless and maybe it's because of the girl and maybe it's not, she's not entirely sure. She just knows she doesn't want him like that. 

"Did you ever even get her name?" Octavia asks curiously. 

"Alexandria," Clarke says, a smile forming on her face at the mention of the girl. "Her name is just as beautiful as she is." Clarke says with almost a dreamlike sigh. 

Octavia and Raven both look at each other, their faces scrunching up in disgust. "Oh gag me," Raven says and Octavia pinches off a piece of her toast and throws it at the blonde who pouts at them in return. "Look, I'm just saying you shouldn't not give other things a chance when this girl probably isn't even into you." Raven says, not trying to be harsh, but trying to help her friend out. She doesn't want to see Clarke disappointed or hurt. Sure she can be kind of a bitch sometimes, or most of the time. But she actually does care about her two friends and alway wants to best for them. They're all she's got.

"I know it's weird." Clarke says with a nod, looking up at her two friends. "But I feel a connection with her, already." She says honestly. She tries to think of a way to describe the feeling she gets around the girl, but she can't really come up with anything. They've only spoken a few words to each other so honestly she doesn't get it either. She just knows what she feels. "I don't know, I can't explain it." She finally sighs with a shrug. "But, I already really like her and I barely even know her." She tells them. "It's crazy, I know." She adds before either girl could say anything to her. 

\---

Lexa opens her eyes and smiles, taking in her surroundings. It's been such a relaxing couple of days, getting to be back home at Anya's. She can wake up without the fear of her roommate being there or the anxiety of what she's going to say or do. Not that she's really hurt her or done anything drastic. She just makes Lexa feel anxious in general. It's nice to feel at home and to feel safe again. 

She lets out a little yawn as she curls her body up, snuggling into the covers. She's so warm and cozy and feels so safe that she doesn't want to get out of bed yet. Or she didn't until she noticed the smell off bacon lofting through the air. That's definitely enough to get her out of bed. 

Sitting up, she stretches her arms a bit and looks around the room. She spots her and Anya's cat, Heda sitting at the foot of her bed and she smiles at her. "Hi baby," she smiles, leaning forward to pet the cat on the head and snuggle her face into the animal's fur. "Okay, breakfast time." She says sort of to the cat and sort of to herself. She stands up from her bed and walks out into the living room and then to the kitchen where she spots Anya still cooking. 

She smiles at the woman who hasn't noticed her presence yet and walks up behind her. "Morning," she mumbles, wrapping her arms around Anya's waist and snuggling her face into Anya's shoulder. 

"Morning," Anya says back, chuckling at her little sister and her affectionate behavior. "You're cuddly this morning." She points out with a raised brow as she flips the pancakes over in the pan. Lexa normally isn't one to be touchy feely. Lexa just lets a small noise out in response, but doesn't say anything or move from her spot. "What's wrong?" Anya asks, knowing her sister too well. 

She pries the girl off of her and turns around to face her little sister so that she can look at her. Which makes Lexa frown, still wanting that contact. "I don't want to go back," she says with a sigh and a small pout, her eyes looking around everywhere but at Anya. 

Anya frowns, and looks at the girl sympathetically. "I know honey," she says, brushing some wild hair out of Lexa's face. "But you can come stay with me on the weekends and like I said before, you can come over anytime if something happens," she reiterates, trying to give her little sister some sort of comfort. She hates seeing Lexa like this and she hates having to play the tough love card, but she knows that she has to. Honestly, she just wants to tell Lexa that she doesn't have to go back and that she can quit school if she wants to. She just wants to wrap her up in bubble wrap and never let her leave the house. But obviously, that isn't the right thing or the smart thing to do. "Besides, don't you miss Clarke?" Anya says teasingly, knowing that it'll annoy her sister, but she's trying to lighten the mood a little. 

Lexa rolls her eyes, predictably and pushes Anya away from her. "Shut up," she mumbles, turning away from Anya and walking over to the kitchen table to sit down. She's annoyed with her sister for how much she's brought up Clarke since she's been home, but honestly she can't exactly deny that she's excited to see Clarke again. She's used to seeing her every other day in class and now it's been almost 3 days since she's seen her. Though, she still has her drawing that she looks at a lot. And it's almost as good as Clarke. 

But not quite. 

She still just wishes that she can muster up enough courage to talk to the blonde instead of just stare at her in class like some sort of creeper. Though she has made progress and she's honestly pretty proud of herself for that. Maybe the next class she can get even further with the blonde and talk to her more. 

Hopefully, anyway. 

"Can we go to the beach today?" Lexa asks, fiddling with the salt and pepper shakers in the middle of the table. One good thing about Anya's house is that it's right on the beach and it's her favorite. Sure, her school is only half an hour away form the beach but it's not like she can just walk out the back door and basically be on the beach. 

"Of course," Anya nods, turning off the stove. She starts to plate everything for the two of them, before joining her little sister at the table. "We can practice hitting on girls so you can ask Clarke out." She says, trying to cover up a laugh, but it slips out. 

Lexa looks anything but amused, glaring up at her. "I don't want to do that." She says simply. 

"I know, I was joking." Anya reassures her. She knows that Lexa isn't always the best at picking up on sarcasm or her jokes, but she's gotten a lot better about it over the years. With Anya at least, since the girl jokes around a lot. But sometimes, she still took her a little too seriously. 

\---

Octavia walks into the coffee shop across from their dorm room after her last class of the day, needing a little pick me up. The party was 3 days ago and she still feels a little off her game. Which is lame, but she drank way more than she ever had that night. Plus, it's not like she drank all the time before that anyway. She's not exactly used to it. She had her fun in high school but it was nowhere near the college life. That was just amateur hour. 

With a sigh, she leans against the counter waiting on the barista to make the drink she had ordered. She pulls her phone out of her pocket to see if she had any texts or even Facebook notifications or anything, but she doesn't. She frowns and goes to her snap chat, taking a quick picture of herself as she waits for coffee and posts it to her story. 

Putting her phone back in her pocket, she glances around the coffee shop that is empty for the most part. There are a couple of other people on their laptops, but it's not busy or anything. When she hears the door open again she looks up and sees a familiar face making her smile. 

"Hi," she greets, and the girl just looks at her confused. "I'm Octavia. I spilt coffee on you a few days ago," she says with a small laugh. "I promise, I'll be more careful today," she giggles. 

Lexa smiles at the girl and nods her head. She'd known exactly who she was when she saw her. Lexa's memory is pretty good and once she talks to someone, she doesn't normally forget their face. She just had been surprised that the girl was talking to her again. "I remember," Lexa says simply. 

"You know, I was kind of hoping that I'd run into you again," Octavia says with a smile, and Lexa just looks even more confused. 

"Why?" She asks simply. 

Octavia frowns, because the girl was obviously not picking up on the fact that she was trying to be a little flirty. That or she just wasn't interested and didn't care. "I don't know," Octavia answers with a shrug, not really having anything better to say, being put on the spot like that. She actually had kind of hoped she'd see this girl again, but she doesn't really know why. Sure, she's gorgeous and maybe Octavia has a small crush on her, but she's not actually trying to peruse anything just yet. Because again, she likes to keep her options opened. She just sort of felt drawn to her. "You want to sit down with me? Talk for a little bit?" She asks, a bit hopefully. 

Lexa chews on her lip and looks a little nervous. "Um…yea, okay." She finally says, nodding her head. She's anxious to talk to this girl, she doesn't normally do things like this, but Octavia seems nice enough. And she's supposed to be stepping out of her comfort zone right? This is a step. 

And a pretty big one. 

"Great," Octavia smiles. "I'll grab a table and you order your coffee. On me, by the way." Octavia adds, handing the cashier her credit card before Lexa could protest. 

"Thank you," Lexa says shyly, not being able to look the girl in the eyes. She shifts on her feet, twisting her hands around in front of her as she feels a blush creep up onto her cheeks. 

Octavia just grins and walks away without another word to go and grab them a table. She goes over to the corner where there are a few couches and comfortable lounge chairs, all around a coffee table. She collapses down onto one of the couches and pulls her phone out once again while she waits on Lexa and decides to text her friends. 

O (4:31pm) - Ran into my mystery girl at the coffee shop again. 

Raven (4:33pm) - You guys have got to stop with all of these mystery people! 

Clarke (4:33pm) - Rude. 

Clarke (4:34pm) - Did you talk to her? 

O (4:35pm) - Yup, asked her to sit down and have coffee with me. Just waiting on her to grab her coffee. (: 

Clarke (4:35pm) - Good luck. We'll have to double date with our mystery girls :P 

Raven (4:36pm) - I can't deal with you two. -__-

Octavia just laughs at her friends, but before she can respond to the group text, she sees Lexa joining her. She puts her phone back in her pocket and glances up at the brunette who looks like she's having a hard time deciding where she wants to sit. Octavia just watches her carefully as Lexa scans each available seat, almost like she's going over pros and cons of each spot in her head. She sort of just wants to tell her to sit down, but she decides to just let her do her thing. She already seems anxious enough. 

Lexa finally sits down in the arm chair next to the couch and adjusts herself for a bit before she finally looks satisfied with her choice and relaxes just a hair. But still not completely. 

"So," Octavia says, scooting to the end of the couch to sit closer to Lexa, making it easier for them to talk. "Tell me about yourself," she says and then cringes a little at her own question. Nobody likes being asked that, it's to vague. Probably especially not a girl who seems as shy as Lexa. "Are you a freshman here?" She asks curiously. 

Lexa just simply nods her head in response. 

"Me too," Octavia nods. "What is your major?" She asks, not missing how Lexa is tapping her fingers against her thigh and avoiding eye contact with her at all costs. "You know, if you don't want to sit here with me you don't have to." Octavia says, not in a rude way, but genuinely letting her know. "I won't be offended if you want to leave," she lets her know. And sure, maybe she'll be a little offended, or maybe not offended. That isn't the right word, she'd just be a little bummed. But she's not going to force the girl to do something she doesn't want to do. 

Lexa sits up a bit straighter and quickly shakes her head. "No, I want to," she assures her, but Octavia still isn't completely convinced. Especially since Lexa still won't look at her. "I'm sorry." She says quietly, growing even more nervous. "I don't… I'm not good at this," she says honestly and it almost looks like she's shaking.

"Good at what?" Octavia asks curiously, not exactly sure what she's referring to. 

Lexa scrunches her lips up, twisting them from side to side, still looking down at the coffee cup in her hand. "Talking to people." She finally says with a small shrug, still not making eye contact with the raven haired girl. "I never have been," she adds. 

"That's okay," Octavia says, giving her a reassuring smile. She reaches out and places a hand on Lexa's leg trying to comfort her, but she feels the girl's whole body tense up at the action so she quickly pulls her hand away. "We can just sit here quietly, if you want." She suggests, leaning back on the couch. 

Lexa furrows her brows and looks up at her to see if she's joking, but she can tell by Octavia's face that she's not. And she doesn't seem aggravated or annoyed at all. She seems completely sincere and completely okay with just sitting in silence and it makes Lexa feel a little more comfortable. "Okay," Lexa nods. 

"Okay," Octavia repeats, and repeats the action of nodding her head. She exhales a breath relaxing her body, and sinks into the couch a little more, taking a sip of her coffee. She glances over at Lexa and sees the girl also relaxing a bit more into the chair and it makes her grin. Even more so when she catches Lexa's eye and sees the girl quickly look away with a smile and a blush. 

\---

Octavia gets back into her and Clarke's room and sees the blonde sitting at her desk, reading over a text book. "Sup, Griffin," She greets the girl as she throws herself down on her bed. 

The blonde looks over at her and can see the smile on Octavia's face, making her smile knowingly. "How did it go with mystery girl?" She asks curiously. She puts the text book down and turns in her desk chair to give her roommate her full attention. This is honestly a lot more interesting than whatever dead poet she had been reading about. 

"It was good. She's cool," Octavia says simply with a small shrug. 

Clarke knows she's not going to get much out of the girl because Octavia had always been this way. Very reserved and private about her life. That and she doesn't like getting into talks where she's going to end up showing too many emotions or feelings, because that would make her lose her badass reputation. According to her anyway. 

"I'll probably see her again Wednesday. She goes to the coffee shop every day a the same time." Octavia explains. "And it's right after my last class on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays so I'll probably stop by." She says, trying not to let the fact that she's a little excited show through in her voice or her facial expressions. 

"Cool. Are you going to ask her out or anything?" Clarke asks, hoping that she's not prying too much and Octavia won't change the subject. 

Octavia just shrugs in response. "I don't know, maybe." She says, sitting up on the bed and looking over at her roommate. "Again, I'm not really trying to get into anything." She says and Clarke just nods, because she knows. Octavia says it all the time. "But, she's cool so maybe." She adds with a shrug. 

"I think that I may try and ask Alexandria to hang out when I see her tomorrow." Clarke reveals, making Octavia's brows rise. 

"Yeah? Good for you, Griff," she says, impressed with the girl. "About time you grew some balls," she says teasingly. 

\---

"Yeah, I miss you too, mom," Clarke says, rolling her eyes as she stops outside of the building that her class is in. It's the class she has with Lexa so she really wants to get inside before the actual class starts so that she can have time to talk to her. But of course her mother would call as she's walking to the class. And her mother tends to ramble on forever when she talks to her, ever since she went away to college. Clarke's pretty sure she's not taking it too well. "Look, I really need to get to class, I'll call you later, okay?" 

"You better! You haven't called me in two days! I want to know how everything is and what you've been up to!" The older woman responds, sounding a little hurt that her daughter had gone so long without trying to contact her. 

Clarke just rolls her eyes at her mother. "Mom, I've been busy, alright? I'm sorry but I don't exactly just have all the time in the world to sit around and talk. I'm in college now. I'm an adult." She says, shaking her head. 

She hears her mother let out a sigh. "Is this about a boy? Or a girl? Did you meet someone?" She asks, and Clarke groans. 

"I'm hanging up now, mom." She says matter of fact. "I love you." She says before hanging up the phone. She puts it back in her pocket and heads inside, hoping she still has a little time to talk to still talk to her. 

As soon as she reaches the door to her classroom though, she hears the fire alarm start to go off. It startles her and she jumps a bit, but relaxes once she gets over the initial shock of the loud noise. Though it's still annoying. She grimaces and watches as people start filing out of all the classrooms. She rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh, frustrated with the alarm that is probably just a false one. 

Though, this will give her more of a chance to talk to the girl without being interrupted by the lecture. Plus, she doesn't have to sit in that boring lecture, and she still didn't skip class so it's not her fault. With a smile, she decides to wait until she sees Lexa come out of the room and walk with her outside. Though, minutes later it seems everyone is out, but she still hasn't seen her. 

She must have missed her in the crowd some how. 

She decides to look in the classroom just to make sure she isn't still in there for some reason before heading outside with everyone else. And just like that, she finds her. Though it's not an ideal situation. The smile that formed on her face from seeing her, quickly turns into a worried frown when she spots Lexa on the ground. Her knees are up to her chest, hands gripped tightly to her head, covering up her ears as she rocks back and forth, letting out loud sounds of distress. It scares Clarke and for a moment she's frozen, not really sure what to do.

"Alexandria?" She asks finally snapping out of it and rushing into the room. She squats down beside the girl, but Lexa hasn't stopped the distressed sounds coming from her lips or the rocking. She hasn't even made any indication that she's noticed Clarke's presence. "Hey, hey, it's okay." Clarke says, trying to place her hands gently on Lexa's arms to calm her down. But this just makes the girl tense up and make even louder cries of distress. 

Clarke pulls away, not touching her anymore trying not to make it worse, but she's not going to leave yet. Not with the girl in this state. She just really doesn't know what to do. She's never dealt with or witnessed anything like this.

"Hey, it's just the fire alarm, you're okay." She tries to say soothingly. "We need to get outside with everyone else." She says, trying to prompt her to come outside with her. She's pretty sure it's a false alarm otherwise she'd be aware of an actual fire by now, but she doesn't exactly want to stick around, just in case. 

But Lexa still doesn't show any sign of calming down or listening to her. And she definitely shows no sign of moving anytime soon. Not besides the anxious rocking back and forth that she's still doing. 

"Hey, it's me, Clarke." She tries, hoping to get through to the girl and get her to notice her. "You're safe with me, alright? I won't let anything happen to you." She says in a calm but stern voice. "Look at me, please." She just about begs, her heart breaking with every sound that escapes Lexa's lips. She has no idea what to do and it's making her freak out as well. But she tries to stay calm because she knows freaking out isn't going to help Lexa. "Come on, look at me, you're okay. I've got you." Clarke says, once again putting her hands on the girl's arms. She feels Lexa tense up again, but she stays strong and keeps her hands on her. "Alexandria," she says, almost desperately not knowing what else to do. "It's Clarke, you're safe."

Finally after what feels like an eternity but is probably only a few seconds, Lexa opens her eyes and looks at Clarke. She's still rocking back and forth, and she's still crying out but at least she's acknowledged the presence in the room. And Clarke can instantly see the fear in Lexa's eyes. It's enough to make Clarke tear up a little. 

"Okay," Clarke says with a small smile, trying to keep herself together and not fall apart in front of Lexa. Especially now that she's looking at her. "There you go," she encourages. "Just focus on me, alright? You're okay, you're safe." She says softly, slowly starting to caress the girl's arms with her thumbs in a comforting manor. "We need to get outside alright?" She tells her in hopes that Lexa will try and work with her. 

Clarke stands up and reaches down, wanting Lexa to grape onto her hans, but Lexa doesn't make any move to get up or reach out for Clarke. She just looks even more startled, her eyes going wide. She looks back down, her eyes closing again as she keeps rocking, the painful sounds still tumbling out of her mouth. 

"Come on, it's okay. We'll be safe outside and the alarm won't be blaring out there." She says, hoping that'll be enough to make Lexa get up. It's obvious she doesn't like the noise by the way that she's got a death grip over her ears. "I'm going to help you up, alright?" Clarke warns, before reaching down and pulling on Lexa's arms. 

Lexa resists for a few seconds, but Clarke continues to try and get her up and finally Lexa stands. Clarke can feel her shaking underneath her and she wraps her arms around her, wanting to protect her from the world. Yeah, not just the fire alarm, but the whole world. She's already decided after this that the worst thing in the world is this girl being upset.

"Good, now let's go." Clarke says quietly, as she starts to guide the girl outside. Lexa still has her hands clamped over her ears, but she's walking and the sounds coming out of her mouth have died down to little whimpers, which makes Clarke feel a little better. But she still won't feel completely okay until they're outside and Lexa has completely calmed down. 

They get outside and a majority of the students that are standing around outside the building staring at them, but Clarke doesn't pay them any attention. Not besides the glare she throws their way to try and scare them into looking away. It only works on a couple of them. The other just continue to stare. So, instead she stares straight ahead, trying to find a spot that's not around people so she can sit with Lexa and try and get her to calm down. 

She walks her around to the side of another building where they're alone and Lexa basically just collapses onto the grass, almost pulling Clarke down with her. But Clarke manages to catch herself. She looks down at the girl worriedly, but sees that she's at least not as distressed as she had been inside. She's still rocking herself a little, as she looks around frantically, taking in the new surroundings. 

Clarke simply sits down across from her and just watches her carefully, figuring she should step back for a couple of minutes and give Lexa some space. And it seems to work because after a short minute or two, Lexa slowly slides her hands down, away from her ears and looks relieved when she realizes she can't hear the loud blaring of the alarm anymore. 

"You're okay," Clarke says softly. 

Lexa doesn't look over at her, but she stops rocking, seemingly calming down more and more by the second. She swallows hard and starts fiddling with the grass in front of her. 

"Are you okay?" Clarke asks, but gets no response out of the brunette. "Hey?" She questions, ducking her head a little to try and catch eye contact with her. 

Lexa still doesn't move or acknowledge the blonde. Her jaw clenches and unclenches a few times and her eyes start to water. "Do you think I'm a freak now too?" She finally asks quietly, catching Clarke off guard with the question. 

Clarke's brows furrow and she shakes her head. "Of course not," she responds instantly, but Lexa still doesn't look up or respond to her. "Hey, I don't think you're a freak." Clarke says sternly, reaching out and placing a hand on Lexa's arm. She feels her tense up a little, but she keeps her hand there because it doesn't seem like Lexa is going to freak out over it or anything. 

"I have Aspergers." Lexa says quietly. 

Clarke once again looks confused, but then just gives the girl a small smile. "Okay," she responds simply, like it's not a big deal. It makes Lexa finally look up at her, confused by her reaction. "Thank you for telling me," Clarke adds, thankful that she finally got some eye contact from her. "But you didn't have to tell me that." She shrugs. 

"I just-…." Lexa starts, but then stops, not being able to get out what she's trying to say. She closes her eyes and lets out a frustrated grown. "I just wanted you to know… That's why I…." She says, but then stops again, still struggling with her communication with Clarke right now. Her fists clench in her lap as she tries to get her thoughts together and communicate them vocally to the blonde.

"Hey, you don't have to explain anything." Clarke cuts in, seeing the girl starting to get worked up. Lexa swallows and nods her head, but still looks pretty down on herself. And she still looks like she wants say more or explain more. She just wants Clarke to know she's not a complete freak and she can't control some of the things that she does. It's not like she's just weird or something. "Hey, you want to go grab some lunch or something?" Clarke asks, wanting to change the topic. 

Lexa looks up completely caught off guard by the question and opens her mouth a few times to answer, but nothing comes out. She just looks like a fish, which is ironic because she feels like a fish out of water right now. Clarke still wanted to hang out with her? Even after all of that? This couldn't be real. 

"I'm starving and I don't think we're going to be having class today," she says, glancing over at their building where everyone is still gathered outside, obviously not being let back inside yet. By the time they get back into class and get situated there would only be maybe 15 minutes or so left of class, if that long so it's really not even worth it. "Come on, lets go get some tacos." She says, standing up from the grass and reaching out her hand to help Lexa up. 

Lexa looks at her hand for a moment then glances around. There are a lot of people around and right now she really doesn't want to be around a lot of people. Not after what just happened. Though she does want to be around Clarke. She likes being around Clarke, especially after the way she'd helped her and the fact that she hasn't run away or called her a freak when she found out about her or witnessed an episode first hand. 

Clarke can tell the girl looks nervous again and she frowns. "How about, I go and grab the tacos from that food truck right over there for us?" Clarke questions. She can tell by the way that Lexa is glancing around at everyone that she probably doesn't want to be in a crowd right now. Especially since everyone was just staring at her, most people judging her. "And then we can go back to my room. Or yours." She offers. 

"Okay," Lexa agrees quietly. That doesn't sound as scary.

Clarke smiles at her and nods her head. "I'll be right back," she tells her, before turning to walk over to the truck, which wasn't very far away. She could still see Lexa from there and vice versa which made her feel better. As she's standing in line, she glances over at the girl and sees her with her legs drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them as she glances around nervously at her surroundings. 

Aspergers. 

She hadn't been expecting that. Though, it kind of made sense now. The girl had shown a lot of signs that pointed to that. Not that Clarke really knew a lot about it. She did know a little bit though. It's basically a form of high functioning autism. 

Watching the girl, she can't help but wonder what her life had been like, having Aspergers. It couldn't have been easy. It makes her heart break thinking of all the struggles that she's probably faced and all of the obstacles she's had to over come. It kind of makes her in awe of the girl even more. Polis is an Ivy League school and the girl had gotten in. She obviously wasn't letting it hold her back, even if she does still struggle with some things. 

"Next," Clarke hears the annoyed voice, snapping her from her thoughts. She looks over to see that it's her turn in line and she hasn't moved since the last few people left. 

"Oh sorry," she says, rushing up to the truck to order her and Lexa some food. 

\---

Clarke follows Lexa down the hallway to her dorm room, deciding that Lexa would probably be more comfortable in her own room than in Clarke's. Especially after the day that she'd had. The least amount of stress possible is probably best for her right now. Clarke just wants her to try and relax a little at this point. 

"You live in the same wing as me," Clarke states with a smile, as she recognizes the familiar hallway. She's been living right down the hall from this girl the whole time and didn't even know it. But at least now she does, and maybe this means that they can hang out more often.

Lexa stops outside of her door and pulls out her key to open it up and that's when Clarke realizes where she's at. 

"Wait," she says quietly to herself, Lexa not hearing her. She leans back a little glancing down the hall and sure enough she sees her room two doors down which means… 

No, it can't be.. 

Lexa opens the door and they walk inside and sure enough, Clarke is standing in the middle of Raven's dorm room. She looks around confused, her mind trying to process all of this and what it means. 

"Lexa," she breathes out, realizing Lexa is short for Alexandria and that this is the Lexa that Raven has been talking about. 

The one that she can't stand. 

Lexa apparently heard Clarke say her name, making her turn around and look at the girl to see what she had wanted, but Clarke looks caught up in her head. It confuses her. "Clarke, are you okay?" Lexa asks carefully, growing nervous by the way the blonde is acting. Maybe she wasn't actually okay with this. Maybe she did think she was a freak, now that she had some time to think about it. 

"What?" Clarke asks, shaking her head, pulling herself from her thoughts. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry." She says, giving the girl a reassuring smile. She considers saying something about Raven, but for some reason she feels that it's best not to. What if this girl doesn't like Raven either? What if she won't want to talk to her once she finds out that she's friends with Raven. 

And what's going to happen when Raven finds out the mystery girl she's crushing on is actually her roommate, Lexa. 

This isn't going end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, as always I love to hear feedback from you guys! 
> 
> Also if you haven't already seen it I have a tumblr where I post updates about this fic. I also started a little social media AU based on this fic if you'd like to check it out! My tumblr is: all-the-fictional-lesbians.tumblr.com 
> 
> Feel free to ask me me anything you'd like on there as well! (:


	5. Chapter 5

"That one is my bed," Lexa says, pointing to her bed that is next to the door. "If you'd like to sit down. Or you can sit at my desk." She tells her, glancing over at said desk she's speaking of. She's fiddling with her hands, and trying to prevent herself from sounding as nervous as she feels. Though, even she can hear the waver in her voice as she speaks to Clarke. She's just hoping maybe the girl won't notice, or maybe she won't say anything. She's already worried she's going to lose Clarke even before they could ever really become friends or anything after what happened earlier. She doesn't need to give the girl even more reason to not like her. She's not exactly one for having friends over so she doesn't know how to entertain them. Or really how to act when company is over. She's never really played host to anyone. 

Clarke just nods her head and hesitantly sits on Lexa's bed. The one she'd already slept in once. Which makes her feel extremely awkward. She runs her fingers a bit nervously over the blanket and almost can't stop herself from laughing at herself as she remembers making a comment about how the girl that slept in this bed smelt good. Of course it'd be Lexa's bed. Of course things like this only happen to her.

"Thank you for lunch," Lexa comments quietly, sitting at the foot of her bed, turning her body towards Clarke who is resting against wall at the head of the bed. She carefully unwraps one of her tacos and starts to munch on it, making as little of a mess as she possibly can. 

When Lexa speaks, it makes Clarke snap out of her thoughts and she shakes her head, trying not to keep zoning out. She can tell that she's probably acting strange and she doesn't want to make the brunette any more anxious than she already is. "Oh, it's no problem." Clarke smiles at her. She grabs one of her own tacos out of the bag and starts to eat it as well, but a little less gracefully than Lexa. 

"I'm sorry about earlier," Lexa says quietly, as she just starts to pick out the tomatoes from her taco and eat them by themselves. 

Clarke furrows her brows and shakes her head. "You don't have to apologize for anything," she tells her honestly, giving the girl a stern look, but Lexa isn't looking at her. "Just stop thinking about it, okay?" She says gently, ducking her head a little to try and get the girl's attention. But Lexa seems too focused on picking out the food from her tacos and eating it all individually. "You know, I was planning on asking you to have lunch with me today, even before class was canceled and everything." Clarke informs her, a small blush forming on her face. It's now her turn to turn a little shy. 

Lexa looks up at that, looking a little shocked. "Really?" Maybe it was true that she had a small crush on Clarke, even she'd never admit that to Anya. So she's pretty happy to hear that Clarke had been thinking about asking her to hang out outside of class, though she's very surprised the blonde would want to. Especially now. 

Clarke smiles at her reaction, finding it endearing. "Really," she confirms. "I mean, maybe. If I didn't chicken out." She adds with a small chuckle, shaking her head at herself. If she's being honest, she probably would have gotten too scared to actually ask the girl. So maybe all of this happening was a blessing. Even though she never wants to see Lexa in that much distress ever again. It had been terrifying. 

Lexa blushes at the comment and looks back down, a small smile on her face. "I um…" she starts to say, but then stops talking, not really sure what she wants to say. "I hung your drawing up." She finally says, nodding her head to the wall behind Clarke's head. 

Clarke looks up and smiles, seeing it above her bed. She frowns briefly, trying to remember if that had been there the other night. She should have noticed it if it was there and solved this awhile ago. Though, she was pretty drunk so she probably didn't notice much regardless. "I'll have to make you another one. One that isn't just on scratch paper from my sketch pad," she says with a smile, turning back to look at Lexa. 

"I like that one," she says with a shrug, not caring what kind of paper it's on. Though, she wouldn't say no to another drawing from Clarke. She'll take all the drawings that Clarke wants to give to her. 

Clarke smiles and continues eating her lunch, leaving the girls in silence. Though it's not really an awkward one, which she's thankful for. She feels comfortable with Lexa and not like she has to try too hard. And she hopes that Lexa feels the same. 

Hearing a noise from outside the door, Clarke's heart starts hammering in her chest when she realizes that it could be Raven and she's not sure what will happen when Raven walks in and sees them together. She still hasn't really thought much about how to tell Raven about this or how the girl is going to take it. It also pisses her off now thinking back to all of the times that Raven had called Lexa a freak or said other things about her. 

At the time, she hadn't known that it was Lexa, but even so she shouldn't have let Raven get away with talking about anyone like that. None of them know anyone's life or what is going on with them. They shouldn't treat anyone that way. She shouldn't just now be saying something to her, or feeling this way just because she knows that it was the girl she'd been crushing on.

When the person outside the door, continues walking down the hallway and never enters the room, Clarke lets out a sigh of relief. She looks back over at Lexa to see her still picking apart her taco and eating it, seemingly unaware of the mini panic attack that Clarke had almost just had, much to her relief. 

Pulling out her phone, Clarke decides to text Raven and see where she's at. She'd rather not deal with Raven walking in on them right now. She wants save that drama for later and not have their hang out be completely ruined yet. 

Clarke: (3:32pm) - Hey, what are you up to? 

Raven: (3:34pm) - In Biology and it's lame as hell! And I'm starving. Can we please go have dinner after my next class? 

Clarke lets out a sigh of relief to see that Raven still has one more class after this one. That means she'll be gone for at least another hour and a half. Unless she skips, but much to people's belief, Raven has never been one to skip class. She's sort of a closet nerd, underneath that badass exterior she wants everyone to see.

Clarke: (3:35pm) - I'm having a late lunch right now. Text O, I'm sure she'll be hungry after her class as well. 

Raven: (3:36pm) - Lame! 

Raven: (3:36pm) - Wait! Are you with mystery girl? O told me that you were going to ask her out!! How's it going?! 

Clarke just sighs, reading the text message and chews on her bottom lip. She glances up at Lexa, feeling eyes on her and sees the girl looking at her. But as soon as their eyes meet, Lexa's eyes dart away from her. It makes a small smile appear on the blonde's face when she sees Lexa blushing. It's then that she realizes it's sort of rude to be on her phone while she's hanging out with Lexa. And she didn't really want to respond to Raven right now anyway. She's too weird about talking to Raven about Lexa now. She also feels a little guilty even if she has nothing to feel guilty for. She's not exactly lying about anything. Not yet, anyway. She just found out that this girl is Raven's roommate.

"Sorry, about that." Clarke says, putting the phone back into her bag, officially deciding to not respond to her best friend. 

"I don't mind," Lexa replies instantly and Clarke can tell she actually means it. 

Clarke just smiles at her, but decides to stay off of her phone anyway. "Well, I want to get to know you. I know enough about my other friends." She says, situating herself on the bed better, giving Lexa her full attention. "What is your major? I know that you said you're not an art major, but I'm not sure what it is." She asks curiously. 

"Business and Hospitality management," Lexa replies. "My sister started her own restaurant a few years ago and it's very successful, she's gone corporate with it and everything. I'm probably going to get a job working for her when I'm done." She says with a smile on her face. "I was pretty much raised in her restaurant and I like being there. Though, it'd be kind of cool to have my own one day." 

"That's actually really awesome." Clarke says with a nod. "Which restaurant is it?" She asks curiously. 

"Grounders." Lexa replies simply. She's eaten all of the vegetables and the meat out of her taco so now she starts to break off pieces of the shell and eat that as well. 

Clarke's eyes widen and she looks impressed at the girl's answer. "Your sister is the owner of Grounders?" She asks, knowing just how successful that place is. It's a chain restaurant that has multiple stores open all over the United States. This girl has to be a billionaire. 

Lexa just nods in response. "Well, our mother opened it originally and then it was passed on to Anya when she graduated high school because our mother couldn't really handle it anymore. But, now that it's corporate there isn't really an owner, but she's the CEO." She explains with a small shrug. "She's very successful." Lexa nods with a smile, happy to praise her big sister. "I've always really looked up to her. Anytime someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I got older, I'd always say that I want to be her when I get older." Lexa says with a small giggle. 

Clarke smiles in awe at the girl, thinking she's probably the most adorable thing she's ever seen. "I always wished that I had siblings when I was younger," Clarke says with a thoughtful smile. "Though my mom practically raised my best friends as well because they didn't have the best home lives. So I always call them my siblings." She says with an affectionate smile. She really does love her dysfunctional family, even if there is a lot of drama sometimes. "Do you have any other siblings?" 

Lexa nods her head, but finishes chewing before she starts to speak again. "Yeah. Anya is my only biological sister and then I have a foster brother, but he's just as much my brother." She says. Normally she doesn't even mention that he's not a biological brother, but she feels like she wants Clarke to know everything. Which is kind of scary, because she's never talked about her personal life with anyone.

"I agree," Clarke nods. She knows that some people wouldn't count foster siblings as real siblings and sometimes maybe even the foster kids themselves don't, but she also knows that you don't have to be blood to be a family. Her and her friends are proof of that.

\---

Clarke walks into her room and is a little startled to see Raven siting on her bed, talking to Octavia who is fixing her hair in the mirror. She glances down at her watch and realizes that it's way past time for Raven's class to be out. She'd obviously lost track of time while hanging out with Lexa and she's lucky that Raven had come straight to their room instead of her own. Otherwise, Clarke would have had to deal with that drama now rather than later. "Hey guys," she greets, throwing her bag down next her bed. 

"Hey," they both respond, glancing over at her and then back to what they were doing. Though, it only takes half a second for Octavia to spin back around to Clarke. "Hey, how did your date go?" She asks, her eyes wide with excitement, remembering that her best friend had hung out with her mystery crush.

"It wasn't a date," Clarke responds, sitting down on her bed. "I mean, I don't think it was… I don't know if it was," she says confused, herself. She'd paid for lunch, but it was just tacos from a food truck and they'd just hung out in her room. Was that a date? That wasn't a date. Honestly, she doesn't even know if Lexa is into girls or if she's into her period.

Both girls just raise their brows at her and almost look amused by Clarke's inner struggle. "Well, whatever it was, how did it go?" Octavia asks her with a smirk. 

"It was really good," Clarke says with a small smile appearing on her face, just thinking about the beautiful brunette. It makes Raven and Octavia eye each other and then look back over at their obviously smitten friend. "She's really great." Clarke says with a nod, laying back on her bed. 

"So when do we get to meet this mystery hottie?" Raven asks, turning her body on the bed so that she's now facing Clarke instead of Octavia. 

It's then that Clarke's thoughts go back to the fact that this 'mystery hottie' isn't a mystery at all. She's Raven's hated roommate. She considers saying something right now, and she probably should, but she's too afraid. Besides, she doesn't want to cause all this drama when she doesn't even know if anything is going to happen with her and Lexa. If it never turns into anything, there isn't a point in getting anyone upset, right? That's how she's going to think of it anyway. She'll cross that bridge when she gets to it. If she ever does get to it. 

"And scare her away? I don't think so." Clarke says with a chuckle, making both girls look offended. "I'm more so talking to Raven," Clarke clarifies, glancing back at Octavia who looks satisfied with that answer and goes back to doing her hair. 

"I'm hurt," Raven says, putting a hand up to her chest, looking very offended by the comment, though Clarke knows she's just playing around. "I am great," she says matter of fact. "You don't have to worry about me scaring her away. If anything you just need to worry about her not wanting me more than you." She adds jokingly, turning her head and sticking her chin up in the air. 

Octavia and Clarke both laugh at that response and Clarke shakes her head. "You're right, you always have had a thing for stealing my crushes away." Clarke says, and Octavia bursts out laughing. 

"That was one time." Raven huffs, folding her arms across her chest. 

"I'm kidding," Clarke tells her, rolling her eyes a bit at her dramatic friend. "Believe me, I'm not worried about you stealing her away," Clarke mumbles more to herself than to Raven, knowing that the brunette despises Lexa, so obviously it won't be a problem. 

"Alright, I'm ready. Clarke, you coming to dinner with us?" Octavia asks, picking her purse up off of her desk. 

Clarke just shakes her head. "Nah, I just ate a couple of hours ago. Ya'll have fun." 

"Alright, see you latter Griff," Raven says, slapping her on the leg as she walks past Clarke, and then walks out the door with Octavia. 

Clarke sits up on her bed and glances around the room. Maybe she should have gone with them. Because now she has nothing to do. It's pretty boring in here without Octavia or even Raven to keep her company. Letting out a small hum, she climbs off of her bed and grabs her laptop, deciding to see if she can find something to keep her entertained. 

Though, it's hopeless and only 10 minutes later, she's at a loss of what to do. She pulls her phone out to see if maybe she has any texts or notifications, but of course she doesn't. She only gets those when she's busy and can't respond. But when she's bored its just radio silence. 

She then decides that she wants to text Lexa, because honestly, she can't keep her mind off of her. And she can't help but feel like she wants to be around the girl or talking to her all of the time. That isn't too clingy is it? Yeah, okay, maybe it is. 

But, whatever. 

One little text message won't hurt. 

But it's then that Clarke realizes, she never even got Lexa's phone number. "Stupid," she mumbles, slapping herself on the forehead. She chews on her bottom lip, her eyes sliding over to her door. She could always just go over there. It is only two doors down from her own. But she just left so that'd be weird right? And it's unannounced and that's kind of rude. Lexa isn't Octavia or Raven. Someone that she's known since birth and she can just intrude on them whenever she'd like. 

Could she? 

No, she shouldn't.

"Fuck it," she sighs, and gets up off of her bed. She heads towards the door and walks out, headed to Lexa's room before she looses her nerve and turns back. Or just before she has more time to think about it and tell herself how stupid and clingy she's being. And they aren't even dating yet. She doesn't even know if they're even considered friends yet. 

When she approaches the door, she knocks on it gently, waiting on the girl to open it. She's chewing on her lip, waiting when she starts to get cold feet and turn back around to retreat to her bedroom. But before she can do that, the door is opening, revealing Lexa's face. 

There's no turning back now. 

Lexa's hair is down, and laying over one shoulder, and she has glasses on now. Clarke hasn't seen her in glasses yet and now she never wants to see her without them. She looks even more beautiful, if that's possible. 

"Clarke?" The girl asks, confused by the blonde's presence. Though it only takes half a second, before she's smiling and it makes Clarke automatically smile as well. 

"Hey, um… I know that I just left and this is unannounced so I'm totally sorry if you were busy or something." Clarke starts to ramble, and Lexa just looks at her, a mixture of confusion and amusement. "But I was just in my room bored and I realized that I didn't have your number so then I thought I'd just come over here and get it.." she says, and stops talking before she can ramble and embarrass herself even more. 

"You came over here to get my phone number?" Lexa asks, with a blank expression on her face. 

It makes Clarke even more nervous and feel even more embarrassed. "Um…yeah," she says lamely, rubbing the back of her neck. "But, now I realize how much of an idiot I am so I'm just going to go," she says with an awkward chuckle. "And we're going to act like this never happened." She adds, before spinning around to leave. 

"Wait, Clarke," Lexa calls out before Clarke can get too far. The blonde turns around slowly and looks at Lexa warily, not wanting to be further embarrassed. She just wants to get out of here. "Don't you want to get my number?" Lexa asks as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. That's what she had come over for, right? 

"Oh…umm, yeah," Clarke says, letting out yet another embarrassed giggle. She walks back over to Lexa, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She pulls her cell phone out and goes to her contacts to add a new one. "Um…here," she says, handing the phone over so that Lexa could put in her information. 

Lexa just smiles and puts everything in phone before handing it back to her. 

"Thanks…" Clarke says, trying to push through her awkwardness, but she still just wants to go hide in a hole. "I'll um…I'll text you," she says, looking up and giving Lexa a smile. The girl simply returns the smile and nods her head. "Okay, see you later," Clarke says, waving lamely before retreating back into her own room.

\---

Lexa opens her eyes, the morning light shining in her window. She rolls over expecting to see the usual sight of Raven on the floor in between their beds, working out. Though she frowns when she doesn't see the girl there. She panics a bit and thinks that she may have woken up late some how, and quickly turns to look at her clock. But it's the time she always wakes up at. 

She looks around and spots her roommate sitting on her bed on her laptop. Lexa's brows furrow and she sits up in her own bed. "You're not working out." Lexa says simply. 

Raven looks over when she hears Lexa address her and gives her a look that says she's just as confused as Lexa seems to be. "No, I'm not." Raven states as if it's obvious, looking back down at her computer. 

"But you always work out at this time on Thursdays." She says, still confused as to why Raven is sitting on her bed on the computer and not lying on the ground working out. Like she always does on Thursdays. Every Thursday since they've been roommates. 

"Well, today I'm not." Raven says with a huff, not looking up from her computer. She doesn't understand why Lexa is so upset by this and why it's such a big deal to her. 

Lexa frowns, her anxiety starting to go up a little. "Why not?" She questions, swallowing hard. 

Raven sighs and looks up at the girl, clearly annoyed with her. "My knee was bothering me this morning." She informs her. "Why are you being weird?" She asks, confused. Though, she shouldn't be confused, this girl is always weird. This just proves her point even more. She looks like she's about to have an aneurism just over the fact that Raven isn't working out like she normally does. "Please tell me you don't like creep and get off on watching me work out." Raven says, raising a brow. "Not that I'd blame you." She adds with a smirk. 

Lexa's eyes widen and she shakes her head vigorously. "No! I don't-…I don't do that." She says, swallowing and looking down at the ground. She feels her chest start to tighten and it's getting harder to breath. She likes structure and stability. She has a routine and things that she's used to and she doesn't like that being interrupted. It makes her feel really off. Plus, she doesn't like the things that Raven is saying to her. It's making her more uncomfortable. 

She brings her legs up to her chest and hugs them tightly, rocking herself a bit, to try and calm herself down. She closes her eyes and tries to stop focusing on Raven, who she can feel is staring at her. Instead she just buries her face against her knees, squeezing her eyes shut tight and tries to focus on her breathing. 

She needs to get up now and go shower and start her morning routine, getting ready for class. She can still do everything that she normally does. She just needs to ignore Raven messing up her daily routine and what she's used to. She just needs to get up and go shower and continue on with her normal day. She needs to not let this little thing effect her day. 

But it's not that simple. 

\---

Octavia sees movement from the corner of her eye and looks up from her phone to see Lexa seating herself in the chair across the table from her, coffee in hand. Octavia smiles at the girl, happy that she'd just sat down with her automatically, and didn't ask this time or just not even sit with her. The past few days, Octavia had come into the coffee shop at the same time that she knew Lexa came in so that she could sit with her. It was becoming their thing now and she's glad that Lexa has finally gotten comfortable enough to just sit down with her without a word. 

"Hey," Octavia greets, putting her phone away. 

Lexa looks at her a little shyly and smiles, "Hi," she returns. 

"How was your day so far?" Octavia asks, actually wanting to know how her day was and not just making small talk. They don't really do small talk. 

"It was okay," Lexa shrugs simply and Octavia can tell that she's a little off today, but she's not really sure why. 

And she's not sure if Lexa will actually tell her anything. She's not exactly the most talkative person. "Are you alright?" She asks, ducking her head to try and catch the girls eyes so she could try and get a better read on her. "You seem off or something… Not that it's any of my business." Octavia says quickly, not wanting Lexa to feel like she's prying. "But you can talk to me, if you want." 

Lexa looks up at Octavia and gives her a small smile before looking back down at the coffee mug, she starts spinning around in her hands. "I just had a…thing with my roommate this morning," she says quietly. "She doesn't like me." She adds with a frown, staring into her coffee like it'll give her all the answers. 

"Ah," Octavia nods, leaning back in her chair. "I'm lucky enough to be rooming with one of my best friends. But even she drives me crazy sometimes in such close quarters." She informs her, frowning in sympathy. "But, why doesn't she like you? Who wouldn't like you?" Octavia asks, not just trying to be charming, but because she's utterly confused. 

Lexa just shrugs awkwardly. "Not very many people do like me," she says honestly. Her tone is letting Octavia know that she's just stating a fact, she's not just making something up in her head and being insecure about people liking her. She's just laying out the truth, and it kind of breaks Octavia's heart. 

"Well, I like you." Octavia says simply. 

Once again, Lexa looks away slightly embarrassed, a blush appearing on her cheeks. "I like you too." She replies, but still doesn't make eye contact. 

Octavia smiles, watching her. She's too adorable.

"Hey so there's this really good seafood place right down the street. Me and my friends found it a few days ago." Octavia starts to say. "Maybe we could go eat there sometime." She says, feeling a bit nervous for some reason. She's Octavia Blake, she doesn't get nervous. Especially about this kind of stuff. People don't make her nervous, she makes them nervous. 

"I don't like seafood." Lexa says simply, her eyes focused down on her mug that she's got one finger running in a circle around the rim, over and over. 

Octavia frowns at the girl's answer. Octavia felt it was obvious that she was trying to ask this girl to go out with her and do something other than get coffee every day. She's not sure if Lexa just doesn't want to go out with her or if she just really doesn't like seafood and is oblivious to the fact that she's trying to ask her out. Regardless, the answer just caught her a little off guard and through her off her game a little. "Well, we could go eat somewhere else." She offers. "What do you like?" 

"I like a lot of stuff." Lexa answers just as simply, a small shrug of her shoulders, though she's still focused entirely on her hands movements around the mug. 

Octavia almost lets out an audible sigh, growing a little frustrated. She wants to reach out and stop the movement of Lexa's hand and try to get her to focus on her, but she decides against it. She knows how Lexa is and she probably wouldn't be comfortable with that contact. 

Octavia is starting to think the girl is just not interested and kind of wishes she'd just say so. But she'll try one more time. "Okay… well… pick a place. Wherever you'd like to go and we can go one night." Octavia tries, deciding that it's her last attempt before giving up completely.

"Okay." 

It surprises her a little and her eyebrows raise a bit. "Okay?" Octavia asks just to be sure. 

"Okay." Lexa says again, this time looking up at Octavia. She lets her hand drop onto the table and just gives the other girl a smile. "I have to go do some homework." She suddenly says, standing up from her chair. She's about to turn and leave, but Octavia stops her. 

"Wait!" The girl calls out, making Lexa turn around and look at her, waiting for whatever she wants to say. "Tomorrow?" Octavia asks, almost awkwardly. 

"I'll be here." Lexa nods and turns around to leave. 

Octavia watches her with furrowed brows. She can't figure that one out. Either she's completely oblivious to the fact that Octavia has been flirting with her and just asked her out or she's completely not interested. Either way, Octavia isn't one to back down from a challenge. 

\---

Octavia walks back into her dorm room after coffee with Lexa and sees Clarke lying down on her bed, playing on her phone. Her legs are dangling off the end of the bed, kicking against it. "Hey, Griff," Octavia greets, walking past her roommate to sit down on her own bed. 

"Hey," Clarke replies distractedly, still paying more attention to whatever is on her phone than Octavia. 

Octavia just does the same and lays back, playing on her own phone. They sit in silence for a good 15 minutes both doing their own thing on their phones until Octavia breaks the silence by letting out an exasperated sigh. "You have to stop," she says, rolling her head to the side to look over at her blonde best friend. 

Clarke just looks over at her, confused by her outburst. Octavia nods down towards the girl's feet and Clarke immediately stops kicking them against the bed, which had been making a thudding noise. "Sorry," She says, but it doesn't sound super sincere. "What's wrong?" Clarke asks, knowing that the girl seems tense and annoyed, and it's not just because she was kicking her bed. 

"Nothing," Octavia replies instantly, but Clarke knows she's lying. 

The blonde sits up on her bed, facing Octavia and just stares at her, knowing that the brunette sees her looking. But Octavia does her best to ignore her, and continue playing on her phone. Though she's not actually doing anything because Clarke is being too distracting. She feels like she's under a spotlight and can't really focus. 

"Stop staring at me." 

"Well, tell me why you're in a mood," Clarke says, folding her arms over her chest. 

Octavia sighs once again and drops her phone down next to her. She stares at the ceiling briefly before deciding she may as well entertain her best friend because she's not going to stop. So she sits up and turns to face Clarke, mirroring her position on her own bed. "I'm just annoyed with stuff," she answers vaguely, shrugging her shoulders. 

"What stuff?" Clarke asks, being her nosey self. Though, Octavia isn't any less nosey than her so she can't really be too upset. 

Octavia squirms a little, adjusting her position and Clarke can tell she's getting a little uncomfortable. She doesn't exactly like talking about her feelings or anything personal, really. "I asked this girl out that I've kind of been hanging out with and I can't tell if she's interested or not and it's just frustrating." She says, her voice sounding like she's annoyed, but really she's just trying to sound less vulnerable. 

"The mystery girl you've been having coffee with?" Clarke asks, and then Octavia nods her head. "Well, did she say yes?" She asks curiously. 

"Sort of." Octavia says, making the blonde look confused. "She kind of kept brushing me off and then finally agreed. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that I was asking her out or if she's just not interested." She explains. "I'm not used to this." She sighs, shaking her head. 

"Poor Octavia, actually having to put in some effort to get a date." Clarke says, rolling her eyes, but her tone is teasing. "This will be good for you. Actually having to woo someone instead of just having them tripping over you." Clarke tells her, matter of fact. 

"Did you just say, woo?" Octavia asks, raising a brow at her blonde friend. 

Clarke laughs and shakes her head. "So you must really like this girl?" Clarke says, surprised by the fact that Octavia seems to be trying so hard. Normally Octavia would just move on to the next one if it was this hard. It's not like she doesn't have plenty of other people lining up to date her. 

"I don't know," Octavia shrugs. "I don't really know her, but she's really cool. There's just something about her." She adds, trying to put her finger on why she likes this girl. She's not normally her type at all. "Plus, she's insanely hot." She adds with a smirk and Clarke chuckles, rolling her eyes. 

"Wouldn't expect any less from you." Clarke adds, just as their dorm room door opens. 

Both girls look up to see Raven walking inside with an annoyed expression on her face. She slams the door a little bit behind her, making both girls jump a little. "I seriously hate my roommate." Raven mumbles, throwing herself down on Clarke's bed, next to her. 

Clarke immediately tenses up at the mention of Raven's roommate. 

Lexa. 

"What happened?" She asks, chewing on her bottom lip. She can't help but let her mind wander over to Lexa and what she's doing right now and if she's okay. What if she's having another one of those panic attack things or whatever that was a few days ago.

"I don't know, she's just weird. She was freaking out earlier today because I wasn't working out at the time that I normally do and now she's in the room face timing her sister who asked me to leave the room." Raven says, shaking her head, obviously exasperated by the whole thing. "Like what the hell? It's not even her room! It's mine and I shouldn't get kicked out of my own room." she complains. 

"You didn't have to leave." Octavia points out, and Raven just glares at her.

"Whatever, I don't want to listen to their stupid Skype call anyway." She says, folding her arms across her chest. She tilts her head up a little and sees Clarke staring at the bed, looking a little zoned out. "Hello? Clarke?" She asks, waving a hand in front of the blonde's face. "Trying to complain about my freak of a roommate here." She says, annoyed that Clarke isn't paying attention to her. 

"Don't call her that." Clarke snaps, catching both of her friends off guard. 

Raven raises a brow at her, "What is your problem?" She asks confused. She's never had a problem with her talking about her roommate before now. Or calling her a freak. 

"Nothing." Clarke says, glaring back at her. "You just shouldn't call anyone a freak." She says, relaxing herself a bit and trying not to come off so defensive. "You don't know anything about her or what she's going through in her life. You shouldn't judge her." Clarke says, shrugging her shoulders a little, hoping that neither Raven or Octavia would get suspicious or ask too many questions. She's still not ready for the 'Hey your hated roommate is my mystery crush' conversation yet. 

"Whatever, you're being weird." Raven says, sitting up on the bed. "Can we go do something? Maybe play pool or something? Or I hear that there is a hot tub by the pool." Raven says, hoping that one of her friends will be down to do something. 

Clarke is just happy that the conversation of Lexa has been dropped. But now all she wants to do is go and see her. But Raven said she's talking to her sister and she doesn't really want to interrupt her. She supposes she could just text her. But she can't ask her if she's okay because how would she know that Lexa was even upset in the first place? That would lead to her having to tell her about Raven. 

"I'm down for the hot tub." Octavia says, standing up from her bed and walking over to her closet to find a swimming suite. 

"Wait, we were talking here," Clarke says with a frown. Her and Octavia had been talking before Raven interrupted and she wanted to continue talking. It was nice to actually have Octavia opening up and talking about something. Plus, she was enjoying hearing about how there was finally someone not up Octavia's ass. Someone who may actually not even want the girl. At least not easily. 

"And now we're done." Octavia shrugs, still going through all of her clothes, trying to find a swim suit somewhere in all the disorganized clothes. 

"What were you guys talking about?" Raven asks curiously, looking back at Clarke. "Tell me it wasn't your mystery hottie. That's all you ever talk about." Raven says, but the smile on her face let's Clarke know that she's joking.

Clarke just reaches out and shoves her in response, making Raven chuckle. "We were actually talking about Octavia and her mystery girl." Clarke says matter of fact. "Apparently, O asked her out and she just brushed her off." Clarke explains, making Octavia let out a huff of annoyance and Raven just burst out laughing. 

"That is gold." Raven says, still laughing. "I need to meet this girl. I like her." She says, making Clarke laugh as well and Octavia just glare at her. 

"You know what, I don't want to hang out with you anymore." She says, throwing the swim suit that she had finally found, back in her drawer. 

Raven stops laughing, but there is still a smile on her face. "Come on, I'm joking." She tells her with a sincere look. "O, everyone wants you and I'm sure that this girl is no different. She's probably just playing hard to get or something." Raven says with a shrug, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. 

Octavia wants to say that she's not sure that's what this is, but she doesn't. She kind of doesn't want to keep talking about this. Especially with her friends who will probably just keep teasing her. 

"What about that Lincoln guy?" Raven asks curiously. "I haven't seen him back at our room since the party." She adds with a small shrug, thinking that maybe he had broken up with her roommate. 

"There isn't anything to say. I haven't seen him since the party. I didn't get his number or anything." She replies with a shrug. "And he told me he didn't have a girlfriend so they're probably friends or something." She adds. 

"Or he's just like every other guy and is dating multiple girls." Raven replies, and Octavia gives her a glare, because she knows that Lincoln isn't that kind of guy. Sure she doesn't know him well, but there's something about him that makes her trust him and like him. He's not like-…"He is friends with your brother." Raven says, just as Octavia's thoughts were going over to Bellamy. 

"He's not like that, alright?" She says simply, not wanting to get into it. 

"Okay well, why don't you ask Bell for his number or something?" Raven asks and bother her and Clarke just start laughing. 

"Right, like Bell would be okay with his little sister wanting his friends phone number. Do you not know Bellamy or something?" Clarke asks, raising a brow at her friend. 

"Okay, you're right." Raven says, obviously feeling dumb for even thinking that was an option. Alright, "I'm going to go back and grab my swim suit real quick. Be ready when I get back! You too, Clarke!" Raven yells before walking out of their dorm room. 

Clarke sighs, jealous of Raven who gets to go and see Lexa and not only that but live with her. If only she could have lost the game, she could be rooming with Lexa right now. But she supposes if she has any chance of dating this girl, it probably wouldn't have been a good thing to live with her. 

"Are you coming with us?" Octavia asks, pulling Clarke from her thoughts. 

Clarke just nods her head and stands up from the bed. She grabs her swim suit as well and quickly changes before crawling onto her bed and reaching for her phone. She decides to go ahead and text Lexa just because she can't stop thinking about it. She's also worried that Raven is going to start something else with the girl or say something to her. 

Clarke: (7:18pm) - Hey you. What are you up to? 

She frowns at the message, trying to figure out how lame it is, but she supposes it doesn't matter now. She's already sent it. She just couldn't decide what to send her other than a random greeting, because she wasn't exactly texting her for a particular reason. Not one that Lexa could know about anyway. 

Lexa: (7:19pm) - Hello, Clarke. I'm just waiting on my roommate to leave so I can finish my Skype call with my sister. How are you this evening? 

Clarke: (7:20pm) - I'm alright. Me and my friends are about to go down to the pool and check out the hot tub. I wont bother you, I just wanted to see how you were. 

Clarke looks up when she hears her door open and sees Raven emerge, not looking any more annoyed than she already had. Plus she hadn't been gone long so hopefully she didn't start anymore drama with Lexa. 

Lexa: (7:21pm) - You're not a bother, Clarke. I enjoy talking to you.

Clarke can't help the grin that forms on her face along with a small blush. She chews on her lip as her fingers hover over the buttons, trying to figure out a proper response. 

Clarke: (7:22pm) - I like talking to you too, Lexa. I may even be a little excited for the insanely boring Art appreciation tomorrow just because I get to see you. 

As soon as she ends it, she regrets it. It's too much. She shouldn't have said that. Her friends were right, she's a total creep. She comes on way too strong, too quickly. 

"Oh my god, you are so gross," Clarke hears, making her look up to see Octavia and Raven staring at her. "Let me guess, talking to mystery hottie?" Raven asks with a smirk. 

"I-…" Clarke starts, but then stops, her brows furrowing in confusion. 

"You have this cute little smitten look on your face. It's both adorable and disgusting." Octavia answers, and Clarke just blushes even more. She hadn't even noticed how obvious she'd been. But she wasn't really thinking about it or the fact that they were in the room. She'd kind of gotten too wrapped up in Lexa. 

"Yeah, it's her." Clarke finally mumbles, still looking at her phone to avoid their eyes. 

Lexa: (2:24pm) I'm looking forward to seeing you as well, Clarke. 

"Come on, loser." Octavia says with a smirk, shoving her friend slightly as her and Raven make their way to the door. 

Clarke rolls her eyes and quickly gets up to follow them out, the smile never leaving her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter more dots will start to get connected!! What do you guys think will happen!? I'd love to know your thoughts!


	6. Chapter 6

Lexa walks down the sidewalk from her last class, towards the coffee shop that she goes to everyday. She has a bit of a spring in her step today and just overall feels happy. Which isn't a feeling that she feels a lot. Not just completely happy like this, at least not since she's come to college. Sure she feels a little anxious, but that will probably never go away completely. But it's not completely overpowering her right now. 

Her classes are going well so far, and she actually enjoys most of them. Which isn't that odd, because she's always enjoyed school. Or at least learning, not necessarily school. She's surprisingly made two friends, or at least two really nice girls who she thinks she can be friends with eventually. Not to mention that they're both really pretty and make her feel all warm and fuzzy. 

Plus, when she woke up this morning, Raven had been working out just like she normally does, and Lexa's normal morning routine went off without a hitch. So far everything today had gone her way and no surprises had been thrown her way. 

It was a good day, and hopefully it'll stay that way. 

When she walks into the coffee shop she sees Octavia had beat her inside today. She smiles over at the girl and waves back when she sees the black haired girl waving at her. She turns to the lady at the counter with a smile, happy to see that it's her usual barista on this day and at this time.

Today was really just going her way so far. 

She gets her usual coffee and in only a few minutes, she's sitting down across from Octavia, who is looking down at a spiral that is placed in front of her. 

"Sorry, just doing a little homework while I waited on you." She says, putting the pen down and turning her complete focus on Lexa now that she's here. 

"It's okay." Lexa lets her know. "I don't mind if you study or work on something while we're here." She says with a shrug. She likes being in Octavia's company but she doesn't really need the girl to put all of her focus on her. A coffee shop is a good time to do some studying anyway. 

But Octavia shakes her head at the offer. "It's cool. I'd rather talk to you." She says, making Lexa blush. "So have you thought about where you'd like to go for dinner?" Octavia asks, glancing at the brunette across from her who is drawing some sort of pattern with her finger on the wooden table. Octavia can't tell what it is that she's drawing or if she's even drawing anything at all or just moving her finger around in random patterns. She notices that the girl always seems to be doing something with her hands though. Probably a nervous habit. Octavia rests her head in her hand as she watches the girl nod in response to her question, which perks her up a little, happy that the girl had given thought to going out with her.

"I haven't been to any restaurants here so I looked up a few," Lexa responds, not looking up from the drawing that she's making with her finger on the table. "I found one that looks really good and it has great reviews. Also, they got a really good grade by the health department." She says, nodding her head. All of which are very important things if Lexa is going to eat there. "They also have really pretty flowers in the middle of the tables and all around the restaurant." She says with a grin, looking up at Octavia. She'd looked at the pictures of the restaurant to get a feel for it and to make sure it didn't look like a dump, and couldn't help but notice the big arrangement of flowers all over the restaurant. It was one of the selling points for her.

Octavia can't help but smile back at the girl, and feel her body get that warm and fuzzy feeling by the look on Lexa's face. "You're cute," she comments, making Lexa blush deeply and quickly look back down, busying her hands again. Octavia just chuckles at her. She's so easy. "So when would you like to go? I'm pretty much free every night, unless I go out with my friends, but I don't have any set plans anytime soon." She says with a shrug, open to whenever Lexa wants to go out. She'd already been shot down by her enough times to know that she should leave the ball in Lexa's court. Which is weird, because she likes it to be in her court. 

"We can go tomorrow," Lexa says with a firm nod. 

"Sounds great," Octavia says, perking up at the fact that they're going out so soon. She was hoping for that, but a part of her was afraid Lexa would make the plans for next week or something. And that just seemed to far away for her. "Alright, tell me about your day." She says, sitting back in her chair. 

This was a part of their routine as well. Lexa always liked to go over her day, detail by detail, not leaving anything out. Normally it'd be boring or even annoying for someone to do, but Octavia can't help but find it endearing on Lexa. She actually kind of enjoys listening to her talk, even if it's something like seeing a bug on the sidewalk. 

\---

"Whatever, Finn." Raven says rolling her eyes as she walks down the hallway of their dorms. A small smile still present on her face though. "Well, I guess you'll have to let me know when the next party is so that I can totally kick your ass at beer pong, again." She says with a chuckle. 

"You know that I beat you last time, but I'll let you believe whatever you want to believe." He returns with a chuckle. "But hey, instead of waiting on the next party, maybe we could do something else? I'm sure there are plenty of things that I can kick your ass out." He says, and she can hear the smirk in his voice. 

Raven's brows furrow, a small smile still on her face. "Are you asking me out, Collins?" She asks, raising a brow, even though he can't see her. She passes by her dorm room, but decides to go and see what her friends are doing instead of going and sitting in her room. Especially since her roommate is probably there. 

"Don't flatter yourself, Reyes. I just want to kick your ass in some arcade games or something. Maybe even bowling or mini golf." He smirks. 

Raven rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Fine. I'm pretty sure that I can beat you in all of those so I'll let you pick." She says, as she waits outside of her friends room. "But, I've got to go so text me when you figure out what will make you cry less when you lose." She says, making him laugh on the other line. 

"You got it." He replies simply, before they both end the call. 

Raven smiles and puts the phone in her pocket. She'd been talking to him since the party, though they had yet to hang out since. She's not really sure what is happening there or if anything will even happen. But she's pretty sure that Clarke won't mind, at least she hopes not. She's going to have to make that a point to talk to her about it.

But Clarke really didn't seem interested in him in that way and honestly, Raven doesn't even know if she's interested in that way either. So it may not matter. She just likes him as a friend as well right now. Who knows what will happen.

Raven walks into her best friends' dorm room and sees Octavia in front of her mirror straitening her hair and Clarke sitting on the bed sketching in her sketch pad. She sits down on the blonde's bed and looks between the both of them, who just barely acknowledge her presence. They both glance up at her but don't really say much, except the small mumble of 'Hey Rae' from Clarke, without picking her head up from the drawing pad that she'd turned her attention back to. But Raven is okay with it because it makes her feel like less of a visitor in their dorm and almost like their 3rd roommate. Like she's supposed to be there.

"What are you getting so dressed up for?" Raven asks curiously, looking Octavia up and down. She's wearing a tight dress with heels, and definitely looks way too formal to just be hanging out with her and Clarke. 

"She has a date with mystery girl." Clarke answers, a smirk on her face as she looks up from her drawing and glances between her two friends. 

Raven's brows shoot up and she looks from Clarke over to Octavia, a look of hurt on her face. "How could you not tell me you were going on a date? Seriously, I feel like I'm slowly getting pushed out of what used to be a threesome," she says with a pout, folding her arms over her chest. 

Both her friends look at her a bit sympathetically. They have to admit that they've gotten a littler closer to each other since living together and maybe they leave Raven out of things sometimes. But it's just because they're together almost 24/7 and it's hard to not pretty much know everything the other is doing. It's not like they're trying to leave Raven out of anything. And they definitely aren't trying to push her out. They love her just as much as each other.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Rae," Octavia says, looking at her friend with a sincere look. She knows how sensitive Raven has been to this whole roommate situation and now she feels a little bad for not putting in more effort. "It happened kind of fast. I asked her yesterday afternoon and now here I am," she shrugs. "Clarke just knows because she saw me getting ready as well." She adds, hoping that would make her feel better. It's not like she reached out and made an effort to tell Clarke either. 

"Well, where are you guys going?" Raven asks, looking a little less offended, but still upset. 

Octavia goes back to fixing her hair, "It's called TonDC." She says with a shrug. "I don't know, she picked the place." She adds. She places her hair straightener down and runs her fingers through her hair a few times, making it look just the way she wants it to. "How do I look?" She asks, turning towards her friends. 

They both look up at her, eyes widening impressed. "Why have we not ever slept together again?" Raven asks, furrowing her brows a small smirk on her face. 

"Because we're friends and that'd be weird," Octavia says returning the smirk and reaching out to shove the girl playfully. 

"Oh right," Raven answers, then lets out a thoughtful noise. "I don't think it'd be that weird." She replies, after looking the girl up and down one more time, the still smirk on her face and only getting bigger. 

Clarke shoves the girl next to her this time, a smile on her face, making Raven laugh as well and Octavia just roll her eyes and her friends antics. "You look beautiful, Octavia," Clarke answers, sincerely. "She's a lucky girl." She adds with a wink. 

Octavia smiles appreciatively and turns to grab her purse. "Alright, wish me luck," she says with a small sigh, mentally pumping herself up. She doesn't know why she's nervous. She never gets nervous. 

She's Octavia fucking Blake. 

"Good luck," Clarke responds with a comforting smile. She can sense the girl's nerves but she's not going to comment on it. She know that Octavia will just get defensive about it. 

"Go get her," Raven says, reaching out to slap Octavia's ass. Octavia reaches out with a smile, swatting at Raven's arm before walking out the door, leaving her two friends. 

After a few seconds of silence, Raven looks over at Clarke, who's gone back to her drawing. 

"So when are you going to actually get the balls to ask your mystery girl out on a date?" Raven asks, turning towards Clarke, raising a challenging brow at her best friend.

Clarke sighs, but doesn't look up from her drawing to look at the face of her best friend. She doesn't want to see that smug look. "Shut up," she mumbles, simply. 

\---

"How was your day Kid?" Anya asks from her end of the Skype call. She smiles at her little sister, relieved to see her face and to see that she actually looks like she's okay. It stresses her out not living with her anymore and not constantly knowing if she's okay and what is happening with her. Also if something does happen it'd take her 30 minutes to get to her, maybe even more, verses the 10 minutes that it used to take to get to her if she needed her for anything. 

Even phone calls sometimes aren't enough to really satisfy Anya and let her know for sure that Lexa is okay. Most of the time she can tell in her voice if something is wrong, but she'd prefer to see her. Seeing her face helps a lot. Anya can always see it on Lexa's face if she's not okay. 

"It was good," Lexa says with a nod. She smiles back at her sister, happy to be talking to her as well and seeing her as well. It always relaxes her to talk to her on the phone, but it's even better to see her. Makes her feel even more safe and calm.

She's actually starting to adjust to this college life. And though sometimes it's still hard and she has her moments of wanting to quit and just go back home with Anya, it's not as bad as she thought it'd be. Especially now that she's starting to make friends. It's the first time in her life that she's ever had friends. "I had dinner with the girl I told you about. The one that I met in the coffee shop." She says with a smile. 

Anya raises a brow and looks at her curiously. "You went on a date?" She asks a little surprised, but obviously happy for her little sister. Though, she was sure it would have been Clarke that she'd be going on her first date with and not the coffee shop girl. 

"No!" Lexa says quickly, then shrinks back a little embarrassed at her outburst. She's just happy that Raven isn't in the room right now to make fun of her or make some mean comment. "It wasn't a date," Lexa says with a frown, shaking her head. Her voice much more quiet and calm than it had been just a few seconds ago. Though, she's still a little defensive. 

Anya just laughs at her reaction, but looks unconvinced. "Are you sure about that?" Anya asks, making Lexa frown even more. "I mean you said that you've had coffee together every day this week and now you're going to dinner with her? Sounds like she's into you." Anya informs her. 

"No…" Lexa says slowly, her brows furrowing. "She doesn't-…" she says, but stops, trying to process everything. It wasn't a date was it? No, they're just friends… "She doesn't like me like that." She finally says quietly, not believing that someone like Octavia would actually be into someone like her. "She's.. she's gorgeous." She says as if it's a valid point. 

"And?" Anya asks, confused. "So are you." 

Lexa just rolls her eyes and sighs. "You have to say that, you're my big sister." She says, not believing Anya's words to be true, but just something she has to say to her. 

"Lexa-" 

"No. Can we just please talk about something else?" Lexa practically begs, not wanting to hear another speech from her sister right now. The girl is always telling Lexa how pretty she is and how great she is and that she should believe it. But, Lexa just can't believe her. She actually wants to believe her and be confident in herself, but it's not that simple. She can't just switch a flip and change the way she feels. And she'll probably never feel that way so they both just need to get used to it. And she doesn't feel like listening to Anya for the thousandth time. Because she's pretty sure it won't be the last either. 

"Fine." Anya surrenders, putting her hands up in a truce. "What's Lincoln up to? He has to come with you when you come home one weekend. I want to see him!" She says, changing the subject over to their brother. And Lexa is thankful for it. Lincoln is something that she doesn't mind talking about. Talking about Lincoln actually relaxes her and makes her feel happy. Not that talking about Clarke or Octavia doesn't make her happy. She just gets a little anxious talking about them too. Especially with Anya making the comments that she does.

\---

Clarke smiles as soon as she sees Lexa sitting in her normal seat for their art appreciation class. But then she starts to get a little bit nervous. Her hands clench nervously around the item she's holding behind her back and she chews on her bottom lip, hesitating to go sit down next to the girl. She takes in a shaky breath trying to work herself up and then walks over to her seat next to Lexa. But she doesn't sit down. She just stands next to the girl, looking down at her, fidgeting a little. "Hey, Lexa." She greets with a shy smile. 

"Hello, Clarke." Lexa returns, sporting the same shy smile. But then her face morphs into a bit of confusion as Clarke continues to stand there next to her, and doesn't sit down. It starts to make her feel anxious and she's not really sure what Clarke is doing. 

"Umm…" Clarke starts, but then stops and swallows hard. She can see the nerves on Lexa's face and feels like she probably looks just as nervous. And she's probably the one making Lexa feel this nervous. So she decides she should probably sit down and not tower over her. "I made you this," she finally rushes out, pulling the painting out from behind her back and presenting it to Lexa. 

It's a landscape painting of a field, the ground covered in flowers. "Clarke…" Lexa says, but then stops, completely at a loss of words. She scans her eyes over the painting, completely amazed by how beautiful it is. "You made this for me?" She asks, not believing that someone, especially Clarke would make something like this for her. It had to have taken so much time and effort. She looks up at Clarke for clarification that it is actually for her.

"Yeah…" Clarke responds with a smile, but she's still nervous. Lexa doesn't really pick up on that though. "Do you like it?" Clarke asks, bringing her hand up to chew on her nails, nervously. 

"It's…" Lexa starts, only again to have to stop, not being able to come up with the words to describe how much she likes it. Words don't even seem to do it justice. "It's beautiful, Clarke," she finally says honestly, looking up at the blonde with the most sincere and awestruck smile. "I love it." She says, and her body feels like it's about to burst with happiness. 

Clarke feels like she's going to do the same. "Good," she responds, her smile just as big as Lexa's. Relief washes over her, and she feels her body relax a bit, as she watches Lexa still studying the painting, looking over every detail. It makes her a little nervous that she's inspecting it closely. She's scared she messed something up somewhere or didn't pay enough attention to the detail and that Lexa will pick up on it. But 

Clarke can tell by her reaction that she wasn't just faking how much she liked it to make her feel better and not hurt her feelings. She truly likes it, and that makes Clarke extremely happy. Maybe even giddy. If Clarke did giddy. 

But she doesn't. 

And she's not. 

"Flowers are my favorite," Lexa says, letting her fingers ghost over the colorful flowers in the foreground of the painting, an adorable smile on her face. 

Okay so maybe Clarke is a little giddy. And maybe a little smitten too. But only a little and she's definitely not going to admit that to Raven or Octavia. 

"Tulips," Lexa says, noticing that there are tulips in the mix of flowers on the canvas. "They're one of my favorites. Back in 17th Century Holland, Tulip bulbs were valued more than gold." She starts to say, making Clarke raise a curious brow. "They symbolize immortality, life and love. And they became so expensive that they were treated as a form of currency." She says, and Clarke looks amused by the fact that she knows this. "Isn't that cool?" Lexa says, turning towards the blonde with that adorable smile on her face again, her eyes sparkling with excitement. 

Okay, maybe she's a lot giddy, and a lot smitten. 

But she's still not going to tell Raven or Octavia. 

\---

Lexa sits down at her and Octavia's usual table in the coffee shop. It's in the back corner so she can kind of hide away from everyone, but it's still by a window so she can see out and doesn't feel too claustrophobic. She's lucky that this coffee shop isn't every busy at this time so she's never had to worry about someone else sitting in her spot. 

She looks around the coffee shop and sees that Octavia isn't here yet, so she has to wait on her for a few minutes. She sits back in her chair, a small smile still on her face, from the painting that Clarke had just given her, as she sips on her coffee. Glancing down at her bag, she decides she wants to look at the painting again. She hadn't had a lot of time to really appreciate it before because class started and she had to put it up to listen to the professor. 

So she places her coffee down on the table and leans over, pulling it out of her bag. She holds it in both hands and looks down at it with a wide smile. She lets her fingers lightly ghost over it as she admires the beautiful work that Clarke had done. Clarke really is one of the most talented people she's ever met. And the fact that Clarke took the time to make her something personally, made her feel all warm inside. It's a feeling that she's starting to get used to or maybe not used to but at least familiar with. It still confuses her. 

"Hey," She hears, pulling her from her thoughts. She looks up to see Octavia sitting down across from her.

"Hi," she replies simply but with a smile. 

"Whatcha got there?" Octavia asks, nodding her head down to the painting in her hands. 

Lexa immediately blushes and looks down at said painting. "Oh, um my friend made it for me." She replies shyly. She turns it so that Octavia can get a better view of it, but she still doesn't look at the girl, still a little embarrassed but she's not sure why. It's just a painting from a friend, why is it making her feel weird? But again, not necessarily a bad weird. 

Octavia studies the painting in Lexa's hands and furrows her brows. That looks extremely familiar. She's definitely seen that painting somewhere before, but she can't put her finger on where. Her eyes go down to the bottom of the canvas and that's when she spots it. 

Clarke's signature. 

That's the painting she'd been working on the past few days. The one for her mystery hottie. 

No way. 

"Clarke," Octavia says, making Lexa's eyes snap up to look at her, looking surprised. "Clarke made that." She clarifies, her eyes moving up from the painting to meet Lexa's eyes. 

"How did you-…" Lexa asks, shaking her head, obviously confused as to how this girl knew Clarke and how she knew that Clarke made this. 

Octavia sees the look of surprise on Lexa's face and she doesn't even need confirmation from her. She doesn't need to say yes Clarke made it. She did, and Octavia knows that. She'd watched her work endlessly the past few days to get the painting finished so that she could give it to her. "She's my roommate. I saw her working on it." Octavia informs her, her jaw clenching a bit. 

"Oh," Lexa says simply, her eyes moving back down to the painting. 

"What a small world," Octavia says with a small sigh, getting a little frustrated. Of course Clarke would be crushing on the same girl that she is. 

"The world is actually pretty big," Lexa states with a straight face, confused by Octavia's statement. "Unless you're talking about on a wider spectrum like compared to the universe, then yeah it's actually minuscule -…" 

"It's just a saying, Lexa." Octavia interrupts her babbling, a laugh escaping her lips, amused by the girl. She's freaking adorable. 

And Clarke probably thinks so too. 

"Oh, right." Lexa replies, an embarrassed chuckle escaping her lips, as she looks back down at the painting, her eyes scanning over it again. She can't seem to stop looking at it.

Octavia rolls her eyes at herself and sits back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest. She looks over at Lexa and sees her still smiling down at the painting with such affectionate in her eyes, that it just frustrates Octavia even more. She gets a feeling in her chest, and she's pretty sure it's jealousy though she won't actually admit to that. Octavia doesn't get jealous. She has no reason to ever be jealous.

But this girl is obviously just as smitten with Clarke as Clarke is with her. 

Gross. 

She starts thinking everything over in her head about the situation. The right thing to do would be to back off and let her and Clarke be happy. Because Clarke is her best friend and that's what friends do, right? But why should she have to do that? Why can't Clarke be the one to back off? Maybe her and Lexa could be happy together. Maybe Lexa is into her as well? Because as much as the Princess likes to think it's all about her sometimes, it's not. Maybe this one time, Clarke doesn't have to get her way. 

"Hey Lexa," Octavia says, making the girls eyes look up to meet hers once again. Octavia leans foreword towards the brunette, letting her forearms rest on the table. "Do you want to go to dinner with me again? You can pick the place again if you'd like." She offers, giving Lexa a hopeful smile. 

"Okay," Lexa smiles back at her. 

Octavia smiles back at her and sits back in her chair, the smile almost looking like a satisfied smirk. 

May the best girl win. 

"Oh, my brother is waiting on me," Lexa says, pulling Octavia from her victory smirk. She frowns as she pulls herself from her thoughts of beating Clarke and sees Lexa waving at someone behind her. "I'll see you tomorrow?" Lexa asks a little shyly as she stands up from the table, looking at Octavia expectantly. This is now a part of her routine, and she'd probably feel pretty off if one day she came in here and Octavia wasn't here. 

"Of course," Octavia says with a smile, nodding her head. Though she seems a little distracted, or maybe just off somehow. She's upset that Lexa is leaving so soon and she's also upset that she has to compete with her best friend for this girl. But, Lexa doesn't really notice it. She's not exactly good at picking up on things like that or reading people. 

"Okay," Lexa says with a wide smile. She starts to walk away from the girl, but Octavia stands up from her chair and grabs Lexa's wrist before she can walk past her. 

"Wait," she says, and Lexa looks at her confused and a little put off by the physical contact. And Octavia can feel it, she feels her tense under her grasp and it makes her quickly let go. "I umm-…." she starts, but then stops. She'd wanted to give the girl a hug goodbye, but after seeing how much she'd tensed up just by the small amount of contact, she decides against it. "Bye, Lexa," She says lamely, reaching back to rub at the back of her neck, a small embarrassed smile on her face. 

Lexa just giggles and blushes a little, "Bye, Octavia," she replies back before practically skipping off to meet Lincoln who is waiting just outside the coffee shop door. "Hi!" She greets him, once she gets outside, a wide smile still present on her face. 

It makes his brows furrow and he looks at her a little funny. "What's got you so happy?" He asks curiously. Lexa's face is normally so stoic, it's weird to see her so bubbly and happy like this. Not that he's not happy to see her like this. He always wants to see her this happy. He just wants to know what got her feeling this way. "Who is that?" He questions, nodding his head to the dark haired girl that Lexa had been sitting with because he can only see the back of her head. Not that he'd probably know her anyway. He hasn't really seen Lexa hanging out with anyone, not besides Clarke. And he doesn't even know what she looks like either, besides the fact that Anya said she was blonde, which means this isn't her. 

"Oh, she's my friend," Lexa says with a smile, glancing back at the girl and then looking back at Lincoln. 

"A friend? Are you sure that's all?" He asks raising his brows at her as they begin to walk down the sidewalk. He notices Lexa's cheeks turn red once again and he smirks. They'd just turned back to their normal color since she'd come out of the coffee shop and now they're back to red. He feels a little bad for making her feel embarrassed so easy, but then he also kind of finds it amusing. 

Yeah, he'd noticed the blush on her cheeks after saying goodbye to her "friend." 

"How many girls are you juggling? I had no idea you had this much game." He says teasingly, glancing over at her. 

Lexa blushes even harder and she can actually feel the blood rushing up to her face. She reaches out and shoves him, making him stumble off the sidewalk. "They're both just my friends!" She says, obviously mortified by his comments. 

Lincoln just chuckles and gets back align with her steps down the sidewalk. "Sure, Lexa," he responds, and she looks over glaring at him, making him just chuckle again. "You need to teach me your ways." He says, wiggling his brows at her, teasingly. 

"Stop," she groans, covering her face with her hands. 

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he chuckles, putting his hands up, surrendering. 

\--- 

Lexa walks into her room after hanging out with Lincoln for most of the afternoon. She places her bag down on the floor by her bed and glances over at her roommate who is sitting at her desk, preoccupied by studying. Which relieves Lexa. Normally when the girl is studying, she actually doesn't bother her. She gets too wrapped up in studying to really even notice the girl is there.

She turns back to her bag and pulls out the painting, thinking about where she wants to hang it up. It doesn't take long for her to decide to put it above her bed as well, right above the other one that Clarke had made for her. It's an actual canvas so she has to pull out a small nail and the little hammer that she has in her closet that she'd used to hang up other things in her room. Also, she just likes keeping certain tools around to be prepared. You never know what you're going to need. And she's anything but unprepared. 

"What are you doing?" Raven questions, annoyed, the banging sounds pulling her from her reading. She sees the source of the noise and watches as Lexa continues to hit the nail with the hammer until it's in the wall and then hang the new painting on it. "Who is giving you all these paintings?" She mumbles, looking back down at her text book. 

"My friend," Lexa says proudly, a smile on her face as she looks at the painting and thinks about Clarke. It's enough to keep the smile on her face and not be too anxious about the fact that Raven is talking to her.

Raven just lets out a humming noise, but doesn't look back up from her textbook. Lexa had sort of been expecting further comments about it, but she gets nothing. She's surprised by it, but obviously happy. It's always a win when Raven doesn't start a fight with her or make snippy comments. 

Today is a good day. 

Satisfied with her work, and deciding she'd been staring at the painting for too long, she climbs down from her bed and glances around the room. Her eyes flit over to Raven who looks concentrated on her work and Lexa realizes that she should start doing her homework as well. 

Just as she gets herself all set up at her desk and ready to start studying, she hears her phone go off. At first she doesn't even look up, figuring it was probably Raven's phone because she's not really used to getting text messages. The only people she texts are Lincoln and Anya, but they don't text that often. Especially since she'd just seen Lincoln and Anya knows this is her study time. They have set times where they call and Skype. Unless it's an emergency, but that would involve a phone call and not a text.

But then it vibrates again and Raven takes notice. "Can you please check your phone?" Raven asks, obviously annoyed by the constant chiming and Lexa making no move to check it or turn it off of loud.

That's when Lexa realizes that it hadn't been Raven's phone, but her own. She furrows her brows and gets up and grabs her phone off of her nightstand to see who had been texting her. She smiles as soon as she sees Clarke's name on the screen. 

Clarke: (7:21pm) - Hey you. Are you busy? 

Lexa: (7:24pm) - I was just starting to study. 

Clarke: (7:25pm) - Oh well then I won't take up too much of your time. I just wanted to ask you a question. 

Lexa waits a few minutes expecting the question, but nothing ever comes so she decides to go ahead and text Clarke back. 

Lexa: (7:28pm) - Was that the question? 

Clarke: (7:28pm) - No! Umm, I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out outside of class again? 

Lexa: (7:29pm) - I'd like that a lot, Clarke. 

Clarke: (7:30pm) - Okay good.. I wanted to ask you in class, but I got nervous. You kind of have that effect on me. 

Lexa blushes, reading over the text, smiling. She then glances up at Raven to see if she'd been looking at her. Thankfully she's still absorbed in her text book. She doesn't need Raven making fun of her for anything else or getting into her business. Because she probably would have if she'd seen the look on Lexa's face while she was texting.

Lexa: (7:31pm) - I make you nervous? 

She can't believe it. She makes Clarke nervous? Why would she make Clarke nervous? She definitely doesn't mean to. Maybe it's because of the Aspergers.. and what happened the other day with the fire alarm. Maybe she makes her uncomfortable. Maybe she's afraid to hang out with her because something like that could happen again. She probably doesn't want to deal it. Nobody does. 

Clarke: (7:32pm) - Yes. But in a good way. 

Lexa's brows furrow at that. What does that mean? Does she get that same feeling that Lexa gets when she's around Clarke? Maybe she should ask her what it means? Maybe Clarke will know what it means.

No, it's probably not the same. 

Lexa: (7:33pm) - You make me nervous too.. 

Clarke: (7:34pm) - Hopefully in the good way too.. 

Lexa: (7:35pm) - I think it is.. 

\---

Clarke looks up from her phone when she hears the door open. She sees her roommate walk in and she smiles at the girl before turning her attention back down to her phone, smiling at the message she'd received from Lexa. 

She makes her nervous in the good way as well.

Clarke: (7:37pm) - I guess I'll let you get back to studying.. 

She doesn't actually want to stop talking to Lexa, but she doesn't want to keep bothering her either. 

Octavia watches the girl and notices the smile that is gracing Clarke's lips. It's the smile she gets when Lexa is mentioned in front of her, which makes her think that is probably who she is texting. And that is kind of annoying because she now realizes she hasn't even thought to get Lexa's number from her. She just has a hard time figuring out what won't make the girl anxious, because she doesn't do social situations that well. She just wants her to be comfortable. 

But hey, she hangs out with Lexa every day and Clarke only sees her in class, except that one day they had lunch. But that wasn't even a date. Her and Lexa have gone out so at least she has that up on her roommate. 

She sits down on her bed and considers saying something to Clarke about Lexa. But she doesn't really want to get into a fight with her. She knows how it'll end up. Clarke will get upset and tell Octavia to back off and let her have her. And Clarke always gets her way. 

But not this time. 

They'll just have to let Lexa choose. 

But Octavia isn't going to bring up the girl right now. She'll deal with that drama when it comes to it. She doesn't want Clarke doing anything to mess up her game. Plus, she doesn't feel like Clarke yelling at her right now. If in the end, Lexa picks her then she'll figure something out with Clarke. Or hopefully Clarke can just be an adult and respect Lexa's decision. Octavia will respect the choice if it's Clarke. 

But it won't be Clarke. 

"So how is mystery girl?" Octavia asks, leaning back on her bed. She notices the blush that forms on Clarke's face and the smile that grows on her lips just at the mention of the other girl. She wonders briefly if that's what she looks like too when Lexa is brought up. Probably not. She's not as lame as Clarke, but it doesn't mean that she doesn't like the girl. 

"She's good." Clarke nods. "I asked her to hang out with me again, outside of class." She says, smiling proudly at herself. Octavia wants to be proud of her for having the guts to ask this girl out, because it's not a very Clarke thing to do. Not when it comes to pretty girls anyway. But she can't be because Clarke is sort of her competition now. And now it's been confirmed that Clarke is hanging out with her girl.

And a little friendly competition never hurt anyone right? 

"I also gave her that painting that I've been working on. She seemed to really like it." Clarke smiles, looking up from her phone to look at Octavia again.

Octavia nods her head and smiles. "I'm sure she did." She says honestly, because she knows that Lexa did like it. She loved it actually, that much was obvious. And Octavia can admit defeat on that one. 

One point for Clarke Griffin. 

Clarke feels her phone go off in her hand again and she smiles before even reading the message, just because she's pretty sure it's Lexa. She's the only person she had been texting. 

Lexa: (7:39pm) - I'd kind of rather talk to you but I really should study. 

Clarke can't help it, she smiles even bigger. She doesn't know how her muscles are moving and stretching like this, but they are somehow. She's pretty sure that she's never smiled this big.

Clarke: (7:40pm) - I'd hate to be a bad influence ;P Text me when you're done studying. 

She puts her phone down once again and looks up at Octavia, feeling a little bad she'd been texting while they were talking. She can't deny that talking to Lexa is a little distracting and she can't fully focus on her best friend. "What about you? How's your girl? Get a second date yet?" Clarke asks with a smile, looking over at Octavia. 

It makes the brunette feel a little bad. Clarke is happy for her and this mystery girl and she has no idea that it's the same girl. 

That it's her girl. 

A part of her really wants to tell Clarke, to make it fair. But the other part of her is afraid that if Clarke finds out then it'll mess up things for Octavia, somehow. Clarke kind of has a way of doing that and some how always getting what she wants. And Octavia actually does like Lexa. 

Sure, she's not in love with her yet or anything like that. And maybe she doesn't even want a committed relationship with her, but then again maybe she does. They're still getting to know each other and it's still too new to know what is going to happen. 

All she does know is that she likes the girl and there is a possibility of something, and she doesn't want to give her up to anyone yet. Especially not her best friend, who she'd have to see her with every day and hear her gush about her all the time. 

Maybe she's being unfair, but that's the choice she's sticking with right now. 

"I did get a second date." Octavia confirms. "We haven't set a date yet, but she agreed to go have dinner again." She adds with a shrug. 

Once again, Clarke smiles, happy for her friend and it makes Octavia feel a little sick. "We are so going to have to double date." Clarke says with a grin. 

Octavia forces a smile on her face, hoping that it doesn't look as fake as she feels it does. She really doesn't need Clarke asking her questions right now. 

Shit. 

She's a shitty friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! And if you're following me on tumblr then you may have seen my post about updating this today, which was unexpected! But I didn't lie to you! I got it finished way earlier than planned so here you go! 
> 
> Also if you don't follow me and want to, my tumblr is, all-the-fictional-lesbians.tumblr.com 
> 
> Also please let me know what you thought of the chapter! I'm a little worried about some reactions involving Octavia!! And I'd love to hear what you guys predict and what you think will happen next!!
> 
> Thank you for all the reviews! I love reading them and appreciate everyone that takes the time to comment, even if it's just a couple of words!


	7. Chapter 7

Raven reaches over and steals a piece of watermelon off of Clarke's plate. The blonde reaches out and swats at her hand, giving her a glare, but Raven just smirks and eats the fruit before Clarke can knock it out of her hand or steal it back. 

"Eat your own food," Clarke frowns. 

Raven returns the frown before reaching over and stealing another piece of fruit from Clarke. "This salad sucks." She pouts, though she's happy that Clarke seems to not be putting up a fight anymore and is letting her take some of her food. 

"That's not my problem." Clarke says, but pushes her plate a little closer to Raven so that she can have more. It's more than she'll eat anyway. 

"You should have gotten a burger." Octavia says with her mouth full of the burger that she's talking about. "It's fantastic." She mumbles, crumbs falling out of her mouth. 

"I've never been more attracted to anyone than right now." Raven deadpans, staring at her best friend. Octavia just opens her mouth, showing off more of the chewed food in her mouth, making Raven roll her eyes but smile. "Besides, I don't look like this from eating burgers." She adds, gesturing towards her body. 

Octavia just raises a brow at her. "Are you saying that I don't look good?" She asks, though she knows that's not what Raven is saying. 

"No, you're probably the fattest person that I have ever seen in my life." Raven once again deadpans, giving the girl a look. Obviously they all know that Octavia is in great shape. She's very active, plus she's just lucky to have a great metabolism. She's always been able to eat whatever she wants without repercussions. 

"Both of you guys can shut it." Clarke says with a huff. She's had the worst luck of all of them because she's not a fan of anything that involves physical activity unlike both of them. So she has to actually watch what she eats. Though, she still eats junk food way more than she probably should. 

"Come on Griff, you know you're the hottest out of all of us," Raven says, reaching out to shove her blonde friend, said friend just rolling her eyes. "Finn still seems to think so." She adds, wiggling his brows. 

"Seriously? Can we stop talking about Finn? He wasn't even ever anything to me and you are so stuck on him." She says, annoyed. 

Octavia smirks, stuffing some fries into her mouth. "She's just jealous because he likes you more than her." Octavia mumbles, making Raven glare at her. "What? You've been hanging out with him a lot. You obviously like him." She says with a shrug. "And he's obviously hung up on Clarke." She points out. "For some reason." 

Clarke seems to have everyone's affections right now. 

Raven's jaw tenses and she starts picking at the vegetables on her plate. "He's really nice." She says with a shrug. "I thought that I did like him, but I think it's just more as a friend." She says honestly. "He's too nice, I'd crush him like a bug." She says with a smirk, making both Clarke and Octavia burst out laughing.

"That's probably true." Clarke chuckles. 

"You definitely need someone with thick skin to be able to handle you." Octavia agrees. "And a spine. And Finn doesn't seem to have either." She says with a smirk. "He's too boy next door. Not your type." She says, shaking her head and Clarke can't help but agree. Even Raven agrees. 

"He's Clarke's type." Raven says, knowing it'll annoy the blonde, and it does. 

"Can you stop?" She asks with a sigh. "And that is not my type." She adds, raising a brow at the girl. 

"What is your type, exactly?" Raven asks, curiously. "I've really never seen you that into anyone." She says, thinking back to any past relationships. Clarke's never seemed too interested in anyone that she'd dated. And she never stuck with them for too long. "What does this mystery girl look like that you're so smitten with?" Raven asks. 

Clarke's eyes widen and she stutters for a second. She's worried if she says too much that Raven will put two and two together and guess that it's her roommate. And she's still not ready for that. "She's a few inches taller than me. light brown hair, beautiful green eyes…" she says, trailing off a bit, worried she's said too much. 

"Wow, that really narrows it down." Raven says, rolling her eyes. "I want to meet her." She says, making the blonde's eyes widen once again. 

"Not yet, okay?" Clarke says, looking down at her food that she's now picking at. 

Raven sighs dramatically but doesn't argue with her. She knows that Clarke has made her mind up about this and she won't get her all riled up over it. She understands why Clarke is keeping her to herself for right now. Even if she is a little offended about Clarke being worried she'd scare her away. 

"What about you, O. Can we meet your mystery girl?" She asks, turning her attention to her other friend. 

"No." Octavia says simply, glancing over at Clarke subtly before looking back at Raven, who just sighs even more dramatically. 

"You guys are no fun."

\---

"Damn it!" Lincoln shouts, throwing the controller to his Xbox down on the bed. He glares over at Lexa who is giggling at him, but trying to hide it behind her hand. She's not very successful though. "How do you keep doing that?" He asks, unbelievingly. They've been playing for a couple of hours now and it's safe to say that Lexa is completely kicking his ass. "I forgot how good you are at gaming." He says, shaking his head with a sigh. 

She just shrugs her shoulders, the cocky smile still on her face. She watches him get up off the bed and walk over to the mini fridge in his room and grab a bottle of water. The smile slowly starts to disappear from her face as she watches him chug one of the bottles down. She's been wanting to talk to him about something for awhile, but she always got to nervous to ask. 

But now she thinks that she wants to. 

He moves back over to the bed and gives her a bottle of water, which she takes with a grateful smile. "Hey, Lincoln?" She finally asks quietly as he settles back on the bed next to her. He just lets out a noise of acknowledgment as he starts the game over. "Where have you been the last few years?" She asks quietly. 

Lincoln pauses at the question, but stares at the TV for a few moments, before finally looking over at Lexa. She looks nervous to have asked the question and it makes him feel guilty. He should have already talked to her about all of this. He knows she's probably had this on her mind for awhile now and she's been nervous to bring it up. He was just kind of hoping they'd never have to talk about it. But that's more for her than for him.

"Why didn't you ever visit me and Anya? Were you mad at us?" She asks with a look on her face that reminds him of a puppy dog. She's always been able to make faces like this that just has him like putty in her hands. Ever since she was little, she'd mastered the pout and they puppy dog eyes. It's his and Anya's weakness. 

"Lexa, I wasn't mad at you guys. I promise." He says seriously, hoping that she believes him. He turns his body so that he's facing her. This conversation is a serious one and he wants her to know that she has his full attention. "A few weeks after you guys were adopted… some things happened with Pike." He tells her vaguely, speaking of the foster dad they'd been staying with for awhile. It's how they met. 

"What happened?" She asks, looking up at him in concern. She has a pretty good idea of what happened though because it had been happening for years. Pretty much the entire time that they'd been staying with him. He was definitely the worst foster parent that she'd ever had to stay with. 

"It doesn't matter now," Lincoln tells her and she just frowns even more because she still wants to know. "But I ended up running away. I wanted to try and find you guys, but I couldn't stay around." He tells her apologetically. "It was rough for a couple of years, but I finally got on my feet." He tells her, with a shrug trying to make it not sound as bad as it was. He doesn't want her to stress out over something that happened awhile ago. "Anyway, I didn't even know how to reach you guys. But believe me, I wanted to. I would never have just left you like that."

Lexa nods her head, taking all of the information in. She feels guilty about it, even though she knows it's not really her fault. But she hates the fact that her and Anya got adopted and got out of that awful house and he had to stay. It wasn't fair. "I don't know why Indra and Gus couldn't have just adopted you too." Lexa says with a frown, looking down as she starts to fiddle with the controller in her hands. 

Lincoln can tell that she's starting to get herself worked up and this is what he was trying to avoid. "I was almost 18 when they adopted you guys." He says with a shrug. "It would have just been a waste of time and money. The only reason they adopted Anya was because they knew that you needed her with you." He says honestly. "They fell in love with you as soon as they met you."

"I needed you too." She says simply. 

"No you didn't. You did just fine." He says with a smile, but she just continues to frown. "Hey, it's all in the past now. I'm okay, and you and Anya are okay. Everything worked out and look, we're together again." He says, trying to cheer her up. "It's fate lil sis, we'll always find each other. And I'm not going anywhere this time." He says, scooting closer to her and wrapping his am around her shoulders. 

"What happened to Pike?" She asks quietly, thinking back to the horrible man. Just saying his name, brings her all kinds of anxiety, and emotions. 

"I don't know." Lincoln says with a shrug. "We got into it pretty bad and I just ran." He tells her. "I haven't seen or heard from him since." 

"Well.. I'm glad you're okay." She says, snuggling into his side. 

He just chuckles and pulls her closer to him. "It'd take a lot more than a dick like Pike to get me down." He says confidently and she just rolls her eyes at him. She knows he's just trying to make the mood light again and she'll play along. She's tired of talking about Pike and their past anyway. 

"Apparently it just takes me and a few video games." She responds teasingly. 

He gasps, feigning offense, making her giggle at him. "Alright, Woods." He says, scooting away from her and picking his controller up, getting ready to play again. "I got you this time." He says confidently. 

Lexa just rolls her eyes and sits up, grabbing her own controller. "We'll see." She says simply as he pushes the button to start the game over. 

And Lexa wins. 

Again and again. 

\---

Octavia and Lexa are sitting at their usual table, sipping on their coffee's. Lexa is doodling in a spiral to keep herself busy and Octavia is working on some homework. She'd thought about doing her homework as well, but the coffee shop was too distracting for her to focus. And she has plenty of time to do everything during her normal study time. 

Right now she just wants to enjoy her coffee and being in Octavia's presence. 

Her phone vibrates against the table and Octavia glances up at her. Lexa gives her an apologetic smile and she picks her phone up to put it away. But she can't help but see that it had been Clarke that texted her, making her smile. She wants to answer it, but she decides that it can wait. She's with Octavia right now and that'd be rude. 

When it vibrates again, they both hear it once again, even though Lexa had placed it in her lap. She chews on her lip and looks back to Octavia. "Sorry," she mumbles, but still smiles when she sees that it's yet another text from Clarke. Now she really wants to read them, but she shouldn't. 

"You can answer that. I don't mind." Octavia says with a small shrug. 

Lexa twitches her jaw, contemplating on if she should or not. Octavia is giving her permission and saying she won't care, but she still doesn't know if she should. Though, it's not like they're in an engaging conversation or anything. They're both kind of doing their own things. 

Clarke (4:41pm) - So would you want to have dinner with me tomorrow? We never really set a date.

Lexa (4:42pm) - Tomorrow sounds perfect. 

Clarke (4:42 pm) - Great. I'll pick you up at 7.

Lexa (4:43 pm) - You live two doors down from me.

Clarke (4:43 pm) - I can still pick you up.

Octavia glances back up at Lexa after a minute and sees that she'd finally decided to answer the text message. She sees the smitten look on the girls face and it makes her frown. She can't see who Lexa is texting, but she has an idea. She has the same look on her face that Clarke has when she's talking to Lexa. 

Its kind of disgusting. 

Well, not so much disgusting, because Lexa is adorable. She just kind of wishes that Lexa would look at her like that. But she doubts she does. It's starting to become more than obvious that Lexa is way more into Clarke than she is her. And honestly, it's getting harder for her being okay with standing in the way of that. 

She knows that she's fighting a losing battle at this point. So why is she even doing it? She still doesn't know exactly what she wants from Lexa so why is she trying to get in the way of Lexa and her best friend? They'd obviously be really happy together. Probably happier than her and Lexa. 

"So you really like Clarke huh?" Octavia asks, making Lexa's head snap up to look at her, with wide eyes. "I'm assuming by that smitten look on your face, that you're talking to her." She adds with a smirk, raising a brow at the other girl. 

"I-…" Lexa starts, a blush covering her face. She swallows hard and looks away nervously. "She's really nice…" Lexa finally says quietly. 

Octavia just smirks at that, because it's obvious that Lexa thinks she's more than just nice. But she won't embarrass her too much or force her to say more. She's seen all that she needs to see. And she's still fighting with herself a little about this choice, but she knows what she has to do. 

She's not going to win this one.

She's going to back off. 

\---

Octavia walks into her dorm room and sees Clarke, drawing as usual on her bed. She just mumbles a greeting to her as she walks by, moving to her own side of the bed. She glances back over at the blonde as she sits down and looks at the drawing that Clarke is working on. She wonders if it's something for Lexa as well. Which is stupid because not everything Clarke does now has to relate to Lexa. But that's kind of how Octavia looks at it now. 

"So, how's the girlfriend?" Clarke asks, not looking up from her drawing. She knows that Octavia had been at the coffee shop with her, just as she is every day around this time. 

Octavia sighs and then sets her jaw, shrugging her shoulders. "It's not going to work out," she says simply. 

This makes Clarke stop drawing and look up at her. "What do you mean? I thought you liked her.'" Clarke says confused. She moves her drawing over a bit so she can turn on her bed to give Octavia more of her attention. 

"I did like her." Octavia says simply. She lets out a frustrated sigh, because she really doesn't want to talk to Clarke about this. She doesn't like talking about her feelings or things in general but she really doesn't want to talk about Lexa with Clarke. Especially when Clarke has no idea they're even talking about the same girl. She thought about telling her still, but now that she's decided to leave Lexa alone, she figures it'll just cause drama that isn't needed. "But she was more into someone else." Octavia says honestly, her eyes meeting Clarke's. 

"Seriously?" Clarke asks, surprised. "I don't think I've ever seen you let someone else have what or who you want." She says, shocked to hear that Octavia lost the girl to someone else. Everyone always likes Octavia. It's actually annoying sometimes, how much everyone likes her. 

"Whatever, it doesn't matter." She responds, getting even more annoyed. "There are plenty of others out there." She says simply. "I didn't really want a relationship anyway, so it wasn't really fair for me get in the way of the two of them. They'll be happier together than her and I." She explains, and then hopes that Clarke will just drop it. That's pretty much all she's going to get out of her. 

"Well, you're right about that. I'm pretty sure that you can walk outside right now and find a handful of people that would go out with you." Clarke says with a smirk. "But that's actually really mature of you." Clarke says, and Octavia ignores the way she sounds surprised when she says it.

Octavia just smirks. "Well, I am awesome." She says confidently, though she's also teasing. She's not actually that arrogant. "What about Lexa? How's that going?" She asks softly, eyeing the girl. She doesn't know if she wants to really hear about them, but she knows she's going to have to get used to it. She made the choice and now she has to get over it and get used to them being together. And she is happy for them, she just may need some time before she's squealing in happiness for them.

"She's really great." Clarke says with a nod, a wide smile forming on her face. "I'm taking her to dinner tomorrow night." She informs her. 

Octavia nods her head and gives Clarke a small smile. "You should take her to TonDC. It's really nice and the food was great." She informs the blonde. "She'd probably love it." She says, already knowing that Lexa absolutely fell in love with the place. And she'd probably love it if Clarke took her there.

"Thank you, I'll do that." Clarke replies gratefully with a smile. 

Octavia just smiles back as she watches Clarke turn back to her drawing. 

\---

"So, I hope this place is okay." Clarke says, glancing around the restaurant. Octavia was right about how pretty it was on the inside. It was really nice, but it wasn't one of those upscale restaurants that made her feel uncomfortable or like she didn't belong because she wasn't sure why she needed 3 forks. 

Lexa smiles at her as she situates herself in the booth, across from Clarke. "It's great!" she says with a smile. She'd been happy when Clarke suggested it, since she already knows that she likes it. It had made her a little less anxious to come out. At least that was one less thing she had to be nervous about. Plus, she already knows there is at least one thing on the menu that she knows she likes. And all the flowers around the room are a plus, of course. 

It's filled with all kinds of different flowers and it just makes her feel even happier. Clarke and flowers, what more could she want? 

"You know, Orchids don't actually need soil to grow? They get their nutrients from the air." Lexa says, lightly letting her fingers ghost a few millimeters above the orchids in front of them. She doesn't want to actually touch them and hurt them, but she can't stop staring at them. They're so pretty. "It's pretty cool." She adds with a smile, looking up at Clarke, across the table.

"You know a lot about flowers, huh?" Clarke asks, raising a brow, as she watches the adorable girl. She remembers the other random fact that Lexa had told her when she'd given her the last painting.

Lexa just blushes a little and nods her head in response. She's gotten made fun of a lot in the past, because she tends to go on and on about flowers sometimes. And because she knows facts about them that apparently nobody else care about. 

"My favorite's are Lily's. What do you know about those?" Clarke asks with a smile. 

Lexa's face lights up as if it's Christmas morning at the girl's question. Not only does she not seem to mind if she talks about flowers, but she's actually asking her a question and asking her to talk more about them. Lexa couldn't be happier. "Well, depending on the color, they can symbolize different things." She starts with a thoughtful look on her face. "A white lily traditionally means modesty and new beginnings. The orange lily symbolizes passion and A Lily of the Valley is a symbol of sweetness and a pure heart." She says, and Clarke smiles in response, nodding her head. She actually looks interested and not bored like other people do when Lexa goes on about flowers. 

"Interesting." Clarke says, and Lexa thinks she actually means it. It's not the bored or sarcastic 'interesting' she always gets from Anya, who just listens to listen. "I guess getting someone flowers should take a lot more thought than if it's just pretty," she says with a chuckle. "Wouldn't want to send someone the wrong message." She adds. 

Lexa nods her head in agreement, looking like it's a very serious matter. "Flowers say a lot." She says. Maybe that's why she's always had such a fascination with them. She's never been good with words or communicating, and flowers seem to do that for people. Not that she's really ever bought anyone flowers. Not except her family. 

"Lilies also have healing and softening properties in the oil. It works well on dry skin. They also use it for massages, facial moisturizer and things like that." She informs her with a small shrug. "Lilies are wonderful flowers." She says with a smile, commending Clarke's choice in favorite flower. 

Before either of the girls can say anymore, the waitress approaches their table, making them both look up at her. "Hello ladies," she greets with a smile. "Can I get you girls something to drink?" She asks kindly, looking between the both of them. 

"I'll just take a water," Clarke says with a smile of her own and then looks over at Lexa. 

"Water as well," Lexa nods, her voice quiet. 

Clarke just smiles at Lexa not really paying much attention to the waitress who says she'll be right back and then walks away. "You look really pretty tonight, by the way. I don't think I've told you that yet." Clarke says a bit shyly. Though she gains just a little bit of confidence when she sees the effect the comment had on Lexa and how much she blushes. 

"Thank you, Clarke," Lexa replies, averting her eyes, a shy smile on her face. "You do too," she says, nervously but honestly. She doesn't pick her head up, but glances up at Clarke, chewing on her lip, a smile still present. 

Clarke just grins in response, "Thank you." She returns as well. 

The waitress comes back with their waters and sits them down in front of the girl's. She then takes their order, even though Clarke hadn't really even looked at the menu. Though, Lexa was ready so Clarke just hurriedly scans it and picks something almost at random. Whatever, she's not really picky. She just mainly wants the waitress to go away so she can talk more with Lexa. 

As soon as the lady walks away, Clarke is relieved, but then she frowns a bit because she's not really sure what to talk about. She's really nervous and her brain is kind of not on her side tonight. Normally, she doesn't shut up, but for some reason around Lexa, her brain just turns to mush and she can't think right. Nervously, she reaches out to grab her water and take a sip, hoping it'll help her calm down a little bit. But it goes the opposite way for her and she ends up spilling the water on the girl across from her. 

"Oh my God!" Clarke shouts, jumping up to grab the glass. "I am so sorry!" She says frantically. 

Lexa is frozen in her spot, eyes wide and lap now wet with water. The majority of it is on the table, but some still got on her a little. It's cold, but mainly it just startled her because it happened so fast and it was so unexpected. 

"Are you okay?" Clarke asks, quickly moving around to Lexa's side of the table. She grabs a napkin and starts drying off Lexa's lap, but then she realizes she's touching the girl somewhere that could be considered inappropriate and her eyes widen and she quickly stops. "I'm sorry!" She says, now apologizing for touching her without asking or even giving her a warning. "I-…." she tries to say, but her nerves are getting the best of her and now she's embarrassed and this is all just going really bad. 

She sits back on her side with a huge nervous sigh and tries not to slap herself. She kind of just wants to go crawl into a hole and die. And the fact that Lexa isn't saying anything, isn't really helping. 

"I'm sorry…" Clarke says again, at a loss of anything else to say.

"Clarke," Lexa finally says, making the blonde's eyes snap up to her frantically. "You're freaking out more than me." she says with a small smile. 

Clarke's wide eyes, finally go back to normal and she lets out a huge sigh, slumping back in her seat a little. Finally she lets out a chuckle, shaking her head. "I'm sorry… I'm just… I'm really nervous." she says, a little embarrassed. Though, she's at least relieved that Lexa is okay. 

"Why?"

"We already established that you make me nervous…" Clarke mumbles, looking down and feeling even more embarrassed. 

"Oh.." Lexa nods, remembering that conversation. "I still don't know why though." She says, still confused as to why she makes Clarke nervous. It still baffles her that she could make anyone nervous. 

Clarke shrugs a little awkwardly and then looks up at Lexa with a smile. She looks at her for a minute before letting out another breath, feeling herself calm down a little more. "Well, you're probably the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen." She says honestly. "No, you definitely are." She adds with a nod. 

Lexa blushes, averting her eyes once again. She starts fiddling with the napkin in front of her, nervously. "Thank you, but that's not true," she says softly. She can feel her heart beating in her ears and the heat radiating off of her face from blushing so hard. 

"It is," Clarke disagrees. "I'm pretty sure that me being a nervous wreck and spilling water on you is proof of that." She adds, with a small chuckle. She takes in, Lexa's embarrassed face and just smiles fondly at the girl. She leans forward, resting on her forearms and ducks her head down to be able to see more of Lexa's face. "I don't know how you don't see it." She says softly. "How beautiful you are." She adds just to clarify. 

Lexa just shrugs, a bit uncomfortably, her gaze still set on her hands that are still nervously playing with the napkin on the table. "Nobody's ever called me that." She says so quiet, Clarke barely heard her over the other noise of the restaurant. "Except my family, but that doesn't count." She says, finally looking up at Clarke, her face so vulnerable that it makes Clarke just want to wrap her up in a hug and never let her go. 

"That's insane, because you're…" she starts, keeping eye contact with Lexa. She shakes her head, trying to find the right words, but nothing seems to do Lexa justice. "You're stunning." She finally settles with, though it still doesn't seem like enough. 

Lexa opens her mouth to reply, but then shuts it, not really knowing what to say. Surprisingly, she's kept eye contact with Clarke though. Normally she has a hard time keeping eye contact with someone, but right now, she can't seem to look away. The honesty and sincerity in Clarke's eyes just keeps her staring. She's in awe, nobody has ever looked at her this way before. 

"Oh, did we have a spill?" A voice asks, pulling both of them from their trance. They look up to see the waitress looking at them with a smile. "I'll get something to clean that up and I'll bring a new water." She says, before turning and walking away. 

Clarke shakes her head a bit, pulling herself back down to Earth and then looks back at Lexa, who's back to staring at the table, her cheeks rosy again. 

"Were you bullied a lot, before?" Clarke asks, sort of out of nowhere. It's just that the fact nobody has ever called Lexa beautiful before kind of made her think that maybe she was. Also, she knows how cruel kids can be and someone like Lexa was probably an easy target for them. The thought, makes her blood boil a little. "I'm sorry, was that too personal?" She asks, after realizing that maybe she shouldn't have asked something like that. Not on a first date anyway. 

"It's fine, Clarke." Lexa says, quietly. She doesn't say anything else after that for a moment, as she just continues to fiddle with the napkin. But Clarke can tell, she's thinking and so Clarke just waits patiently, letting her gather her thoughts. "I was," she finally says with a nod, her voice barely above a whisper. "I had to move school's once, because it was so bad." She admits. 

Clarke's eyes widen at that. She'd figured that Lexa was maybe bullied a bit in high school, but she'd never thought that it was possibly that bad. "Lexa, that's awful." She says, with furrowed brows. But Lexa just shrugs in response. "Just make a list, I'll go door to door kicking everyone's ass." She says, trying to make light of the situation. But she's also kind of serious. 

Thankfully, it gets a small giggle out of Lexa. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Clarke asks quietly, after a few moments of silence. 

Lexa looks up at her and silently nods, letting her know she could. 

But, Clarke is now hesitant and kind of wished she hadn't said that. Because now she's nervous and doesn't want to ask the question she intended to ask. She clears her throat and lets out an awkward chuckle as it's now her turn to start fiddling with the napkin in front of her. "This is… this is like… a date right?" She finally asks, her face turning bright red. 

Lexa's face turns just as red and she stares at Clarke with wide eyes. "I-…" she says, but then stops, not knowing what to say. "Umm…" she says, before swallowing hard. "Do you want it to be a date?" She finally asks quietly. 

Clarke chews on her bottom lip and looks up to meet Lexa's eyes. "Yeah.." she says with a shy smile. "But, if you don't then that is totally okay." she says quickly, wanting to assure Lexa that she could say no if she wanted to. She didn't want her to feel pressured to say yes to not hurt her feelings or get her upset or anything. "I mean.. I don't even know if you like me like that or if you even like girls or- 

"I want it to be as well." Lexa says, cutting off Clarke from rambling. 

Clarke stops talking immediately and looks up at the brunette. She smiles and lets out a breath of relief. "Good," she says simply, relaxing in her chair a little. Lexa lets out a small giggle at her reaction and Clarke can't help but swoon for the girl. 

What is this girl doing to her? 

\---

As they walk out of the restaurant, Clarke chews on her bottom lip and glances over at Lexa a bit nervously. They start walking back towards their dorm, which is just a few blocks away from the restaurant. She wants to reach out and hold Lexa's hand, but she's nervous to just grab her hand. She's already aware that Lexa gets a little uncomfortable sometimes with physical contact and she doesn't want to freak her out or anything. 

"Hey Lexa…" she says slowly, making the girl look over at her, curiously, but a smile on her face. Clarke can't help but smile back and almost forget why she'd even gotten her attention. Lexa is distracting like that. "Can I… Would it be okay if I held your hand?" She asks, and almost face palms herself with how lame she sounds. She can feel her face turn beat red and for about the one hundredth time tonight she wants to go hide in a hole and never come out. 

Lexa looks away bashfully and becomes very aware of how sweaty her hands are all of a sudden. But she really wants to hold Clarke's hand too. So without a word, she reaches her hand out to Clarke, giving her a silent, yes to the question. 

Clarke smiles at the girl and doesn't hesitate to reach out for Lexa, lacing their fingers together. She feels the electricity shoot through her body and she's pretty sure that she couldn't smile bigger even if she wants to. She glances over at Lexa and sees the girl doing the same to her, but she looks away quickly with a blush. 

And then Clarke realizes that she was wrong. 

She can smile bigger. 

\---

Clarke pretty much glides into her dorm room after her date. She sees both Octavia and Raven hanging out in the room and she gives them a goofy grin and waves at them before collapsing onto her bed with a blissful sigh. 

Raven and Octavia eye each other curiously and then just smirk looking back over at the blonde. "So, I take it that your date went well." Raven says with a chuckle. 

"It was wonderful." Clarke responds, still in her blissful state. "She's wonderful."

"I really don't know if I want to be happy for you or slap you for being so gross." Octavia says, but the teasing tone is obvious in her voice. She just stares at Clarke who is still smiling widely, not even reacting to the comment. And she's not going to lie, a part of her does actually want to slap Clarke. This could be her, being this happy. Though, a part of her thinks that it couldn't be. Clarke and Lexa obviously have something that they two of them didn't have. It makes her hurt a little, but she's mainly just happy for her best friend. She still knows she made the right choice in backing off of Lexa. 

"I kind of want to slap her." Raven speaks up with a smirk. 

Clarke just raises her hand off the bed and flips both of her friends off, making them laugh. "Don't be jealous," Clarke says with a sigh, sitting up on her bed and turning towards her friends. 

Raven lets out a chuckle, rolling her eyes and Octavia just ignores the comment. She might be a little jealous. "Was it even an actual date? Or was it another hang out like last time, or do you even know?" Raven asks curiously. She's noticed that Clarke isn't exactly forward with this girl and things have been moving along pretty slowly. 

"It was a date." Clarke says, the smile still on her face. "We actually established that it was a date." She says happily. 

"Alright, finally getting some balls, Griff." Raven says with a smirk, approving of the fact that her best friend was finally getting somewhere with the girl she's so smitten with. 

Octavia stays silent, but gives the blonde a smile, wanting her to know that she's happy for her. But she's not exactly going to bake her a cake or anything for dating the girl that she'd had a thing for. And honestly, she didn't even know if when her and Lexa went out it was a date or not. So Clarke proves to have more balls than she does. 

And she never thought she'd say that.

"Did you kiss her?" Raven asks curiously. 

Clarke scrunches her lips up to one side and shakes her head. "I thought about it, but I'm going to take it slow. She's…" she says, but then stops not really knowing what to say. She feels like saying she's autistic isn't really any of their business. But because of that, she's going to take things slow. She didn't want to freak Lexa out or anything. They'd already made a lot of progress tonight, she wasn't going to push it. "She's really shy and stuff so I didn't want to do anything too fast." She says with a shrug. 

"Lame." Raven says and looks over at Octavia for backup, but Octavia doesn't even seem like she's listening to the conversation. "But, I'm still happy for you Griff." Raven says with a smile. "You seem really happy." She adds sincerely. 

Clarke smiles at her gratefully, "Thank you," she says quietly. "I am, she's great." She adds and Raven just nods, the smile still on her face. Clarke just looks down, her smile slowly turning into a frown. 

If only Raven knew. 

\----

Lexa sits down at her usual table in the coffee shop, her mug right in front of her. She glances around the shop and doesn't see Octavia again, which isn't odd. She's normally beats the girl here. Only a few times had Octavia already been at the table waiting on her. She sits back in her chair, relaxing a bit as she waits for the girl. 

She's still floating on cloud 9 from her actual date with Clarke last night. And she wants to tell Octavia about it, but she's not really sure how to go about it. She's never really been good at talking about things. Not with anyone except her sister, she kind of doesn't shut up around Anya sometimes. But she doesn't really know how to start conversations with other people. Especially conversations about herself. And about topics like this that kind of make her uncomfortable. 

But Octavia is her friend and friends are supposed to tell each other things like this, right? 

She feels her pocket vibrating and looks down to see her sister calling her. She smiles because she'd called her sister a little while ago, but she hadn't answered the phone. She hasn't gotten to talk to her about the date last night. But part of her doesn't know if she wants to talk to Anya about it. She doesn't feel like getting teased or Anya freaking out over it. 

"Hello?" Lexa answers. She glances around to make sure that Octavia still isn't around, then sits back in her chair to talk to Anya. She doesn't want to be on the phone when Octavia is here. 

"Hey baby sis. Sorry, I missed your call. I was in a meeting." She says with a sigh and Lexa can hear the stress in her voice. She always kind of seems stress though. She supposes that comes with the job. "How was hanging out with Clarke last night?" 

Lexa smiles, just at the mention of the blonde, but then realizes she should probably say something, instead of zone out, thinking about the girl. "It was really good…" she says vaguely. 

Anya can hear the smile in her sister's voice and it makes her smile as well. "Yeah? Good." She says, for once not bugging her sister about the girl. Maybe it's because she's a little distracted, still being at work. Or maybe it's just because she's decided to have mercy on her. Also, she's running out of material with nothing new between them happening. "I'm glad your'e making friends." She says honestly. 

"Anya…" Lexa says, but then stops, not really sure if she wants to say it or even how to go about saying it. Easing into conversations has never been her thing. She kind of just blurts things out at random as they pop into her mind. "Anya, it was a date.. I went on a date last night." She says, letting out a huge breath. 

Anya just about drops her phone at the confession. "Seriously?" She asks, sounding happy for her sister, but not wanting to get too excited over it. Especially until she knows for sure if it's even real or of Lexa is assuming things. She knows she's not the best on picking up on social situations. 

"Yeah…she asked me if I wanted it to be a date because she did.." Lexa further explains, and Anya tries to hold the squeal in. "And I said that I did…" She adds, the smile growing on her face. "I went on a date, Anya." She says happily, and still not quite believing it herself. It was her first date. 

"Lex, that's so great." She says, sincerely. "But, I can't believe you went on your first date and I wasn't there to help you get ready!" She says, making Lexa chuckle. "Or to answer the door and intimidate the hell out of her." She adds, and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

"I don't want you to intimidate her." She says honestly. 

Anya just chuckles. "I know." She nods. "But, it's my duty to give the big sister speech." She says matter of fact. "I'll think of some creative threats before I meet her." She says, only half joking. 

"No threatening her." Lexa says sternly, making Anya just laugh louder. 

"We'll see." Anya says simply and Lexa just huffs. "I need to get back to work, but I'll Skype you later tonight, okay?" 

"Okay." Lexa says with a nod, even though her sister can't see her. "Bye Anya." 

"Bye lil one." 

Lexa hangs up her phone and glances down at the time. Octavia is a lot later than normal, and Lexa is a little concerned. She'd never taken this long to get here before her. 

But she'll be here, she is always here. 

Taking another sip, she realizes that her cup is almost empty by now, making her frown even more. She considers going to get another cup while she waits on Octavia, but she doesn't know if she should drink another cup. She'll be up all night. But the two of them always have coffee together and she doesn't want her mug to be empty when Octavia gets there. 

She decides to grab another small coffee and this time sip on it slower so that she has some left when Octavia gets here. She definitely doesn't need 3 cups this late. 

More time passes by and Lexa starts to get a little upset. Octavia still hasn't shown up and it's much later now than it normally is when they're here. They'd both normally have left by now. She starts to convince herself more that Octavia isn't coming today, but she doesn't want to believe that. This is a part of her routine now. She has coffee with Octavia. Why wouldn't she be here? She's always here. 

She starts to give up and tell herself she should go, but then what if Octavia shows up? What if she was just really late and she's on her way? She doesn't want to be gone when the girl shows up. She wants to be here, like she always is. 

A few hours later, Lexa realizes that she shouldn't have really been worried about the two cups of coffee. Because here she is almost falling asleep in the chair she's sitting in. Her eyes keep drooping closed and her head will start to fall forward before she'll notice it and pick it up quickly. 

"Lexa?" She hears someone call her name. She looks up and even though she knew the voice wasn't Octavia's, she's still disappointed that it's confirmed not to be her as she sees Lincoln standing in front of her. Though she's kind of happy to see him too. "What are you doing?" He asks, sitting down and looking at her concerned. "It's almost 10pm." He says, very confused as to why his little sister is sitting in a coffee shop, dozing off this late. 

"Waiting on my friend," she mumbles. 

Lincoln just continues to look confused. "Lex, it's late. Let's get you to your room." He says standing up and reaching out to help her up as well. 

"No, I have to be here when she gets here." She says, growing upset. "I don't want her to think I didn't show up." 

Lincoln sighs and kneels down next to her. "Sweetie, you guys have coffee in the afternoon, if she's not here by now then she's not showing up today." He informs her and can see her bottom lip quiver a bit. "Maybe she had something come up. I'm sure she'll be here tomorrow." He says, hoping to make her feel better.

Lexa thinks for a moment and then nods her head. That had to be it. Something came up and it's not like she has the girl's phone number or anything. So she couldn't get ahold of her to cancel on her for today. That's all. It's not a big deal. 

"Come on," Lincoln he urges again, grabbing her hand and helping her stand. 

This time, Lexa lets him help her up and she walks with him out of the coffee shop. They walk in silence for a few minutes, until Lexa finally speaks up. "What if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore?" She asks, her bottom lip quivering. She'd finally found a friend for the first time in her life and she was so happy. But, she should have known that it wouldn't last. Nobody wants to be her friend. 

She's a freak. 

"I'm sure that's not true." Lincoln says sternly. "Things happen sometimes." He shrugs. "I'm sure that she will be there tomorrow." He tells her, hoping that she believes him. Though he's not even sure if he believes him. He just hopes that this girl shows her face tomorrow. Otherwise, he'll hunt her down himself to get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys. Sorry that took longer than usual! I don't really like the chapter personally and I think that's why I took forever. But hopefully it was just me and it doesn't suck! 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think please! I love hearing from you guys !
> 
> Also if you want to follow me on tumblr: all-the-fictional-lesbians.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

Octavia opens her eyes and starts to feel a little disoriented, confused as to where she is. She looks around and starts to come to, a little more and realizes that she's in her dorm room. Sometimes, she still wakes up confused as to where she is, not completely used to being away from her old bedroom. She slowly sits up, squinting at the bright light coming in through the windows and lets out a small groan. 

She glances over at the clock and realizes that she'd taken a much longer nap than she had intended to. But she sort of drank a lot last night and it was much needed. Thankfully, it nipped her hangover in the butt. With another groan, she crawls out of her bed and makes her way over to the mini fridge in the corner of their room. She grabs a bottle of water and practically gulps the entire thing down as she glances over at Clarke. 

The blonde is sitting at her desk, on her laptop looking pretty intently at something. And Octavia being the curious one she is, moves closer and looks over her shoulder to see what her friend is concentrated so hard on. Her brows furrow when she sees that Clarke is reading some stuff about Aspergers Syndrome. "Is that for a class?" Octavia asks confused. 

Clarke almost jumps out of her skin at the other girls voice. She'd been so wrapped up in reading that she hadn't even noticed her roommate wake up or move behind her. Which is weird because Octavia isn't exactly quiet or graceful. "Uh, no." She says shaking her head, but she doesn't pull her eyes away or say anything else about it. "Did you skip all of your classes today?" She asks, her brows furrowing a bit, but she's still concentrated on the computer screen.

Octavia rolls her eyes, not really wanting to hear a lecture from her best friend. "Yes." She says simply. But she's more curious as to why Clarke is reading about Aspergers. "Then why are you reading about Aspergers?" She asks curiously. She could see it being for a class or something, but other than that, she finds it odd that Clarke has a sudden interest in the subject. 

"It's for Lexa." Clarke answers distractedly. 

"Lexa?" Octavia asks, as she sits down on Clarke's bed behind her computer. "Can you focus for a second?" Octavia asks, growing annoyed by the vague and distracted answers her roommate is giving her. Especially now that Lexa is involved.

Clarke sighs and turns around in her desk chair to face Octavia. She chews on her bottom lip for a second, hesitating on telling her best friend. It's not exactly Octavia's business and she doesn't know if Lexa really would appreciate her going around announcing it. But, it's her best friend and it's not like it's something she should be ashamed of or anything. Clarke's not ashamed of it. 

"Why are you looking up Aspergers for Lexa?" Octavia asks, when she realizes that Clarke still wasn't answering her. 

"It's not for her, it's-…" she starts and then lets out a sigh. "She has it." She says honestly. 

This just makes Octavia really confused. "Wait? Lexa has Aspergers Syndrome?" Octavia asks, not really sure if she believes it. That's something she should have known right? Not that she really got to know Lexa very well, and that's not exactly something that comes up in random conversation. And when she thinks about it now, it does make sense. The way that Lexa is, it fits. Not that she knows a lot about Aspergers. 

But now she feels like an asshole. 

"It's not a big deal," Clarke shrugs, taking Octavia's response as a bad one. "There's nothing wrong with her, she just-…" Clarke starts to jump to defend the girl, not realizing that Octavia's reaction has nothing to do with judging her or thinking she's weird for it. She's just in her head because she's upset at herself for not realizing. And now she regrets some of the things she did. But she was unaware. 

"Clarke, calm down." Octavia says with a sigh. "I didn't even say anything." She defends herself. "I don't care that Lexa has Aspergers." she says, furrowing her brows. She's actually a little offended that Clarke would even think that she'd say anything bad about it. But, she supposes she did a little bit of bullying in high school. But that was just while she was going through her bad girl phase. But she tries to block that part of her life out. 

And before Clarke can respond to her or before Octavia says anything else, she stands up and walks out the door. 

Clarke is a little confused by her reaction and frowns at the closed door. But, she doesn't go after Octavia or even text her about it. Though, she considers the latter. She'll talk to her roommate later, and find out if something else is going on with her. But for now, she's got more reading to do. 

She already knew a little bit about it, but now it seems like she almost didn't know anything. She's learning a lot about it and she really thinks that she's starting to have a better understanding of the girl. She also wants to know if there is anything she can do to help. Especially if she has another episode like she did the day that the fire alarm went off. She had felt completely helpless even though she'd eventually calmed the girl down. She just wants to do better next time. Seeing Lexa like that was the worst thing in the world. 

\---

Octavia starts to walk towards the coffee shop that she always used to meet up with Lexa. She hadn't been the past couple of days though. Not ever since she decided to back off of the girl and not stand in the way of her and Clarke anymore. She hadn't exactly meant to cut her out of her life completely, but it's sort of just how it worked out. Both days, she debated on going to meet Lexa like usual but then she just thought about how she lost her to Clarke. One day she even made it to the coffee shop, but once she saw her she decided not to go in.

But, she's starting to realize that she still wants Lexa in her life, even if it has to be as just a friend. And maybe, they're better as just friends regardless of if Clarke was in the picture or not. She always just ends up hurting people and the last person she wants to hurt is Lexa. Which is crazy, because she barely even knows her. She just feels a connection with her. She feels drawn to her.

As she's walking, she skims a few pages on her phone about Aspergers, following what Clarke had been doing. As she's reading the signs, she realizes it fits more and more with Lexa. A lot of the things on here, describe Lexa or tendencies that she has. And when she sees that some like routine, and get upset if it's disrupted, she starts to feel guilty. She hopes that Lexa hadn't freaked out too much at the fact that she didn't show up to coffee the past two days. 

And regardless of her having Aspergers, she was probably upset anyway. They didn't actually make coffee a set thing, but it kind of turned into that. And then she stopped showing up. 

She reaches the coffee shop and sees Lexa sitting in her same spot, through the window. She has a frown on her face and she's got her head bowed, focusing on the wooden table as she traces her fingers in random patterns on it. Something that Octavia is used to seeing her do. 

She can't help but feel that the deep frown on her face is caused by her. Her shoulders look more tense than normal and Octavia just feels even more guilty by the second. With a sigh, she walks in the shop and quickly grabs herself a coffee before walking over to Lexa, who had yet to notice her. 

"Hey," Octavia says quietly, hesitantly sitting down across from the girl. She wasn't sure if Lexa was upset with her or not. 

But by the smile that appears on Lexa's face as soon as she looks up and sees Octavia, she's not mad. "Octavia!" She exclaims, clearly happy about the girl's presence. 

Octavia smiles back at her, relieved that she doesn't seem angry with her. Though, she still feels guilty. Especially after seeing how happy her being here, made Lexa. She never greeted her that enthusiastically, which meant she was surprised to see her. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here the past two days." Octavia says, deciding to go ahead and jump into her apology. 

"It's okay," Lexa says quietly, looking back down at the table. "I know that we didn't have a set time or rule that we come here everyday. And I'm sure that you're busy and had something else come up." She starts to say, pretty much rattling off the things that Anya and Lincoln had been repeating to her the last couple of days to try and make her feel better.

Octavia smiles sympathetically at her. "Can I be honest with you?" She asks, starting to feel a little nervous herself. 

"You don't want to be friends with me anymore." Lexa says, in her normal monotone and almost robotic voice. Though, Octavia can sense a little bit of emotion in her voice. She's upset, thinking about the fact that Octavia may not want to be her friend. It kind of breaks her heart.

"No! That's not it!" Octavia says quickly, wanting to reassure her. Seeing Lexa upset or sad is the worst thing in the world. "Look… I maybe… I kind of wanted to be more than just friends with you." She says honestly, an awkward laugh escaping her lips. 

Lexa's eyes widen and she just about drops the cup out of her hands. "What?" She asks, not believing it. Not only does someone like Clarke like her, but apparently Octavia as well. This had to be some sort of joke the girls are playing on her. "I-… " She starts to say, but then closes her mouth, having no idea what to say. She starts to get uncomfortable and just looks down, swallowing hard. She doesn't know what to do or what to say. 

If this is a joke, it's not funny. 

But now it kind of makes sense. Why would two girls like these like her like that? And they're roommates and best friends. They're obviously playing a prank on her. She shouldn't be surprised, really. It was all too good to be true. 

She starts to feel her chest tighten at the thought of Clarke not actually liking her. She thought Clarke was different. Not one of those bullies that she's dealt with all of her life.

"Hey," Octavia says gently, sensing the girl's distress. "It's okay, Lexa. I know you like Clarke." She says with a smile, even if it breaks her heart to say that a little. "I'm not.. I know that your intentions with me are just friendly." She explains with a sigh. "And I was a little upset by it, so I didn't show up. And it was a shitty thing to do." She says, still trying to find some eye contact with the girl. "I'm sorry, that I reacted that way. It's just that, seeing the way you looked and acted with Clarke, it made me jealous." She says honestly. "I wanted you to look at me like that."

Lexa feel her breathing start to pick up and tears form in her eyes. "Stop," she just about screams, slamming her fists on the table. 

Octavia looks really confused by the outburst and doesn't really know what to say to her. She was just trying to be honest with her. 

"I-…I know this is all just a joke. I know that I'm just a joke. Just stop, okay?" She says desperately, tears falling from her eyes. "I thought-…" She starts to say, but can't get the words out. Her vision is blurry and she just shakes her head furiously, taking in a deep breath, trying to breathe around the lump that has formed in her throat. 

"Lexa, what are you talking about?" Octavia asks gently, her face full of confusion. She reaches out for Lexa, but the girl backs away from her touch. "Lexa, I'm just trying to be honest with you. None of this is a joke." She says, not really catching on to what Lexa is trying to say and what has her so upset. 

"I'm just a freak, I know that." She says harshly, standing up from the table. She starts to walk out of the coffee shop, but Octavia grabs her arm stopping her. 

"Hey, you are not a freak." Octavia says sternly, trying to catch the girl's gaze so that she knows she's serious. "Lexa, we're not playing a joke on you, I swear." She says, wanting the girl to believe her. It's all starting to make sense to her now. Lexa's not used to having people like her, especially like this and she doesn't believe it could be true. 

That makes her feel like someone just punched her in the heart. 

"Lexa, the fact that you can't believe that we both truly like you, breaks my heart." Octavia says softly. "You are such a wonderful person and I just want you to see yourself that way." 

Lexa looks at the girl, studying her face unsurely for a few moments. She doesn't want to trust her, because that always just leads to her getting hurt. But, the sincerity in the girl's eyes, makes her think that she's actually being honest with her. That maybe both of these girls actually do like her. But why would they? She's just a freak. 

"Come on, sit back down with me." Octavia says gently, trying to guide the girl back into her seat. Which she does, but she can tell that Lexa is a little hesitant. "Lexa, I'm not going to hurt you, okay?" She says, hoping with everything she has that the girl will believe her and trust her.

"You actually liked me like that?" She asks so softly that Octavia almost missed it. "Why?" She asks, looking up at the girl, confused. 

The confusion on her face just makes Octavia even more upset. Lexa truly doesn't believe that anyone would like her. 

"I did," Octavia nods, confirming the question. "And Clarke definitely does." She adds and doesn't miss the small, barely there smile that appears on Lexa's face. "I know that you've had a rough time. I don't exactly know what you've been through, but I know that you don't think very much of yourself now and that breaks my heart." She admits honestly. "I know that it's probably hard for you to trust people now, but all I can say is that I hope you can trust me and especially Clarke. We want you in our lives and we'll prove it to you, alright?" She says with a gentle smile. 

Lexa finally looks up at Octavia and she looks really guilty. "I didn't know that you liked me like that...I'm sorry..." She says, looking back down at the table. She's still having a hard time believing all of this, but if it is true, she feels bad. She never meant to lead Octavia on or hurt her. 

But that just makes Octavia feel even more guilty herself. She wasn't telling Lexa all of this to make her feel bad. She just wanted to be honest with her. "I'm okay now and you didn't do anything wrong. I mean, it still sucks but I want you to be happy. And I know that Clarke makes you happy." She says with a small smile. "Believe me, you're both so grossly smitten with each other." She adds with a small smile. 

Lexa's eyes widen a bit and she blushes, obviously not having expected for her to say that Clarke acted that way about her as well. But Octavia sees the little smile form on her face, and it makes her feel happy. Maybe a little jealous, but mostly she's happy that Lexa and Clarke are so happy with each other. At the end of the day, it's all she wants. 

"I even found her reading about Aspergers in our room a few minutes ago." She says with a laugh, shaking her head at how smitten Clarke actually is. But when she sees Lexa's smile fade a bit and her eyes grow a little wide, Octavia back tracks. "I'm sorry, should I not have said that?" She asks a bit frantically. Was Lexa upset that Clarke had been doing that? Maybe it was offensive? But, Clarke is just trying to understand her better, nothing else. Or maybe, she didn't want Octavia to know that she had Aspergers. "Don't be upset with Clarke, she just wants to understand you better. She really likes you." She says, hoping that she hasn't put her foot in her mouth and messed anything up for them. 

"I'm not mad." Lexa finally says quietly. "I just… I was surprised she'd put in that effort to read about it." She says honestly. Nobody has ever really cared for her like that. Not except for Anya, Lincoln and her adoptive parents. But it also worries her a little bit. "And… well… I just don't want her to read something she doesn't like and think I'm a freak or something. Like everyone else." She says, looking back down. She twitches her jaw from side to side and lets go of her coffee cup to hug herself. 

"Hey, Clarke doesn't think you're a freak. Stop saying that word." Octavia says sternly. "Believe me, she's so head over heels for you, it's gross." She says, but says it in that teasing tone, so that hopefully Lexa knows she's kidding about the gross part. But it doesn't seem to make her feel any better. "Believe me, you aren't a freak." 

"Everyone else thinks that I am." She says, softly. 

"Well fuck everyone else. I don't think that and believe me, Clarke doesn't either." She says, and slides her hands across the table, wanting to make physical contact with the girl to comfort her. But then she realizes that she doesn't know if Lexa would like that or not, so she stops short and just keeps her hands in the middle of the table. "Hey, trust me." She says, in almost a pleading tone. 

Finally, Lexa looks up, making eye contact with Octavia. She nods her head, but keeps her arms wrapped around herself, still looking a little unsure. But so far Clarke has been amazing to her, she needs to have trust that Clarke isn't out to hurt her like everyone else. Clarke is different. 

She has to be. 

And so is Octavia. 

"So you still want to be my friend, too?" She asks, still unsure because Octavia still never really answered the question. And now she's even more unsure because she knows that Octavia knows about her Aspergers and she also knows that Octavia had wanted to be more than friends with and Lexa was completely oblivious. 

"Yes, I still would love to be your friend, Lexa." She tells her, looking her in the eyes so that Lexa knows she is serious. "Hopefully, you still want to be mine." 

Lexa gives her a smile and nods her head, her body relaxing a bit. "I really would like it if we're friends." She agrees, making Octavia smile back at her. 

"Okay good." She says, sitting back in her chair, relaxing a bit. Maybe, she's going to end up hurt from this, but she really doesn't want to lose Lexa. And deep down, she knows that her and Clarke are better off together than they ever were. It's better this way. For everyone. "Can I ask you a favor, though?" Octavia asks, getting a little nervous once again, which obviously makes Lexa a little anxious as well. 

"Sure." Lexa says simply, and a little unsurely. 

"Could you not mention to Clarke about our date? Which, I guess it wasn't even a date, really." She says and then sighs at herself as well as rolls her eyes at herself, for starting to ramble a little. She's just embarrassed. She's never liked someone who didn't like her back. "Look, I just don't think that Clarke should know about it." She says with a shrug. 

"So you want me to lie?" Lexa deadpans. 

Octavia grimaces at the word. "Not, lie." She says. "I mean, technically it wasn't a date anyway, I just wanted it to be one." She explains and Lexa just stares at her. "I just don't think that it's worth getting her upset over. I mean it wasn't a big deal and now it doesn't even matter. Why risk her being upset?" She questions, hoping that Lexa understands where she is coming from. 

She just doesn't want Clarke to be upset that Octavia had liked her and tried taking her out. It's over now and really not worth the drama and upset. 

"I get it." Lexa says with a nod, making Octavia sigh in relief. "I don't want to hurt Clarke either and I know you guys are friends." She says, and Octavia nods, thankfully. 

"Thank you, I'm really glad that you understand. It was just all a big mix up and it's not worth risking her being upset over nothing, you know?" She asks, and Lexa just nods in response. 

"Okay." She says simply. 

Octavia smiles at her and decides to change the subject now. They've been talking about serious things for the past 20 minutes and she just wants to relax and enjoy her time with Lexa now. 

\---

As soon as the professor lets the class out, both Clarke and Lexa let out a sigh of relief. They look over at each other and smile a bit sheepishly, not really sure what to do. This is the first time seeing each other after their date. And before class, they hadn't really gotten to talk much. Just the short greetings and shy smiles. 

Thankfully, Clarke takes the initiative and reaches out for Lexa's hand once they've both gathered their things and put their backpacks on. She laces their fingers together and starts to lead Lexa out of the classroom and out of the building. She notices the bashful smile that appears on Lexa's face and can't help but smile herself, feeling those familiar butterflies in her stomach. 

Once they get outside of the building, Clarke stops and turns to Lexa, but doesn't let go of her hand. "Which way are you headed?" Clarke asks curiously. "I could maybe walk you somewhere, if you wanted." She says with a small shrug, trying not to sound as hopeful as she feels. Because that's just lame. 

"I'm going to get coffee at the coffee shop next to our dorm." She informs her. "But you don't have to walk me anywhere." She adds, not wanting to put Clarke out. Though, she'd like to spend more time with her. Plus, the fact that Clarke wants to walk her somewhere makes her feel giddy and not just because she's holding her hand. 

"I want to." Clarke says with a smile. "Unless you don't want me to." She adds quickly, just to make sure Lexa is okay with her coming along. 

Lexa looks down bashfully and kicks her shoe against the ground. "I want you to," she says shyly and it just makes Clarke swoon. 

Clarke smiles widely and nods her head. "Alright, let's go then." She says, pulling Lexa to move down the sidewalk with her. They walk mostly in silence, both glancing over at each other occasionally, just to look away and blush. Though, Clarke also notices Lexa's eyes darting around the campus, like she's anxious something is going to happen. She wonders if Lexa always feels this scared and anxious. She just wants to make her feel relaxed, but she doesn't know what she can do to help. Probably not much, though. It's not like there is a cure for severe anxiety or Aspergers. Just things that are helpful. 

They finally reach the coffee shop and Clarke looks over at the girl. 

"Would you want to have coffee together?" She asks, not wanting to just intrude. She's not sure if Lexa uses this time to study and if she wants to be alone. Or if she was meeting someone else. 

"I'd like that." Lexa nods with a smile. She walks into the coffee shop still holding onto Clarke's hand. She can feel her hand getting a little sweaty and she really hopes that Clarke doesn't mind. It just happens when she gets nervous, which is pretty much all of the time. But she guesses that Clarke would have let go by now if it was bothering her. 

They get to the counter and order their coffee's, only waiting a couple of minutes for them to be made. As they turn around to sit down, Clarke spots Octavia over in the corner. She's alone and it makes her frown because normally this is when Octavia meets her mystery girl for coffee. But obviously, Octavia had been right when she said that she wasn't seeing that girl anymore. 

"Hey O." Clarke says, guiding Lexa over to the girl so they can talk. She's been a little nervous about her friends meeting Lexa, but she figures they'll have to eventually. And Octavia is a safer bet than Raven. Even if she wasn't her hated roommate. 

Octavia looks up to see Clarke and Lexa standing in front of her, making her eyes widen. She can't help but let her eyes momentarily glance down to their interlaced hands, feeling a pang of jealousy in her chest. But she can't really focus on that right now. "Hey, Clarke!" She says, jumping up from her seat a bit nervously. "Um, this must be Lexa." She says, swallowing hard as she turns to the other girl. 

Lexa looks at her confused, but Octavia just gives her a look, trying to signal her to play along. "Um, yeah..." Lexa says unsure. She's not really sure what is going on or why Octavia is acting like she doesn't know her. She knows she's not supposed to tell Clarke about their date, but she didn't know that she was supposed to act like she didn't even know her. She thought they were friends. And not secret friends. 

But she supposes secret friends are better than no friends.

"Do you want to have coffee with us?" Clarke asks Octavia. She then glances over at Lexa because she hadn't even thought to ask the girl if that was okay, before inviting her friend to join them. And now she feels a bit guilty because she knows that Lexa gets nervous around some people.

But Lexa gives her a small smile to reassure her. Even though she's still a little confused as to what she's supposed to do right now. She doesn't want to say the wrong thing. 

"That's okay, I was just leaving." Octavia says with an apologetic smile. She glances over at Lexa with a guilty look and hopes that Lexa won't hate her after this. "You guys have fun." She says giving both of them a smile before grabbing her things and leaving the coffee shop.

Clarke watches her best friend walk away, her brows furrowed a bit. Both her and Raven have been wanting to meet Lexa and now that she gets a chance, she turns it down. She doesn't really understand it. Octavia has been acting weird all day though. But she'll worry about that later. Right now, she wants to spend time with Lexa. Turning back to the brunette she gives her a smile and gestures down to the chair, letting her sit down, before Clarke does. 

Lexa just smiles and sits down, though she glances back to watch Octavia's retreating figure outside. She supposes they still had coffee together today, it just wasn't for a very long time. Though, she's not really sure what to make out of the interaction. Social interactions confuse her enough as it is. Maybe, it was always a good thing that she didn't have friends. They're confusing. 

\---

"What's going on with you?" Clarke asks as she walks into her and Octavia's dorm room and spots the girl sitting at her desk studying. 

Octavia just turns and looks at her confused. "What do you mean?" 

Clarke takes her backpack off and tosses it on her bed before looking back over at her best friend. "This morning when I told you that Lexa had Aspergers you said that you didn't care but you walked out in the middle of our conversation and then when we ran into you, you just left. You guys have been dying to meet her for weeks and when you finally do, you don't even take the chance to talk to her." Clarke says with furrowed brows. "Is it because of the Aspergers? Because you said you didn't care and if you do-

"Clarke, it's not about the Aspergers." She says with a sigh. "There isn't anything going on with me." She says, but Clarke doesn't believe her. "I just have a test coming up that I'm stressed about. I didn't have time to hang out with you guys, I'm sorry." She says hoping that Clarke will believe her. "Besides, I know you didn't exactly want us meeting her yet. I didn't want to intrude on you guys." She adds with a shrug. 

Clarke sighs and sits down on her bed. She seems to accept Octavia's answer, and nods her head. "Okay, well if there is anything going on with you, you know that you can talk to me, right?" She says gently. She knows that Octavia has never been one to talk about her feeling or her problems, but it doesn't hurt to try. Sometimes, she can get things out of her. But it usually takes awhile and takes things exploding in their faces before she talks about it. 

Octavia watches Clarke pull out her sketch pad and start working on a new piece, leaving their conversation alone. She's grateful that Clarke doesn't seem like she's going to keep pushing on the topic. Clarke has learned over the years not to push her. 

Chewing on her lip, she decides to pull out her cell phone and text Lexa. Thankfully, she'd finally thought to get her number yesterday while they were having coffee. Though she'd yet to have to use the number. But right now she needs to. She's felt bad ever since she left the coffee shop a couple of hours ago. 

Octavia: (6:49pm) - Hey, I'm sorry about earlier. I just panicked when I saw you guys. I didn't know what to do and I didn't want Clarke finding out that you were the girl I thought I was dating and I kind of just jumped to that reaction without thinking. I'm sorry if I hurt you. 

Lexa: (6:51pm) - It's okay. 

Octavia: (6:52pm) - No it's not. Let me make it up to you? 

Lexa: (6:52pm) - How? 

Octavia: (6:53pm) - I don't know, but I promise that I will. 

\---

Lexa walks over to her mini fridge to grab some milk for her bowl of cereal. She makes her way over to her desk, where she has all of her food, sitting on the top shelf, neatly organized. Though she notices that it looks a little off. She glances over at Raven, who is sitting at her own desk studying, not paying her any attention. Lexa just shrugs it off and reaches for her favorite cereal, pulling it off the shelf. She frowns when she realizes that it's a lot less full than she had remembered. 

She opens the box and looks inside to see if almost halfway empty. Which is odd because she just bought this box a couple of days ago and has only eaten one bowl of it. "Did you eat my cereal?" She questions, timidly, turning to look at Raven once again. She knows that she should probably just let it go, but she really doesn't like people touching her things. Especially eating her food. She plans out portions and how much of everything she will have to last her through the week until she goes to buy groceries again and now this will mess everything up. 

She's supposed to eat cereal for dinner on Monday's and Wednesday's. As well as have it for breakfast on Fridays. But now, she won't have enough to do that. Which means, she'll have to eat something else for breakfast on Friday which means she'll have to switch up her entire schedule for the week. Or go buy more groceries, but grocery day isn't until Sunday. 

"I had a little." Raven shrugs. "Sorry, I was hungry and I didn't have anything to eat."

Lexa's hand grips onto the box so hard that she starts to dent it. "Don't touch my things!" She snaps, shocking herself and Raven. 

Raven's brows shoot up to her forehead as she turns to look at her roommate. "Whoa, calm down. I'll buy you another box." Raven says, not being able to stop an amused chuckle from escaping her lips. "I just had a handful." She tries to say, not thinking that it's that big of a deal. But her roommate seems pissed. She watches her to see what she's going to do next, but she seems frozen in place, her jaw clenching and unclenching. Raven can tell that she's thinking hard about something and she's a little worried she's about to blow a gasket or something. 

Raven: (7:01pm) - Roommate is about to snap. I think she's either going to self destruct or murder me. Not sure which yet.

O: (7:01pm) - Come over. Bell is here and we're just playing video games. 

Raven: (7:02pm) - Thank God. I really don't feel like dying tonight. Thankfully tomorrow is Friday so I get a few days without having to sleep with one eye open in fear that she's going to kill me in my sleep.

O: (7:03pm) - You're so dramatic. 

Raven: (7:04pm) - Says you. She has crazy eyes. I think I broke her. 

O: (7:05pm) - Well get over here. I may miss you a little if you died.

\---

"Do you have to go?" Clarke asks, letting their interlaced hands swing between their bodies as she smiles across at Lexa. 

Lexa giggles at her and looks away shyly. "No." She says honestly, focusing her attention back on Clarke. "But I always go to Anya's on the weekends." She says matter of fact. She's been going to Anya's every weekend since she started college and normally she looked forward to it. But now she has a reason to want to stay at the college. Though, she does still want to go and see her sister. Even though she'll miss Clarke, she can't wait to be home again and with Anya. 

"I understand." Clarke says with a sigh. "I know how close you guys are and how much you miss her." She says, and Lexa nods appreciatively, happy that Clarke understands. "But now, I'm going to miss you." She says, loving the way that Lexa blushes again.

Lexa bites down on her lip, ducking her head away shyly. She wants to tell Clarke that she'll miss her too, but the words don't come out. She still gets a little anxious around the girl sometimes. She still makes her really nervous, but in that way where she can't figure out if it's bad or not. But she's not sure if the feeling will ever go away. But she's also not sure if she'd mind if that feeling never goes away.

"Come here," Clarke says, pulling the girl into her. She feels Lexa tense a bit, but she continues to wrap her arms around Lexa's waist, pulling her into a hug. "Is this okay?" She asks not wanting to push the girl to far or do anything that she isn't comfortable with. But she hopes that this is okay because she kind of realizes now that she loves hugging Lexa. She's soft and smells so good. 

But she already knew that. 

"Yeah," Lexa finally whispers into Clarke's neck. She carefully wraps her arms around Clarke's shoulders, holding the girl back. It makes the butterflies in her stomach go even more crazy than they normally do. Her body starts to relax into Clarke and she just about melts in the girl's arms. 

This is definitely okay. 

She kind of loves hugging Clarke. 

After a minute, Clarke pulls back much to both of their dismay. Though, she keeps her hands on Lexa's waist, not wanting to fully pull away from her. And she's happy when Lexa keeps her arms resting gently on her shoulders as well. "I like hugging you." Lexa says and then blushes hard, growing shy once again. 

Clarke's smile widens and she lets out a giggle. A giggle that would make both Raven and Octavia tease her for the rest of her life. But she can't seem to care about things like that when she's around Lexa. "Good, because I like hugging you too," Clarke returns with a wide grin. She lets her thumbs caress the small of Lexa's back as she looks at her with affection. Honestly, she wants to lean in and kiss the girl, but she's worried that it may be too much too fast. She needs to give Lexa a little more time. They've only gone out once. Though, they've seen each other quite a bit since then. "Hey so, when you get back, can we go on that second date?"

"I'd like that." Lexa nods with a grin. 

"Good. I guess I have some planning to do this weekend." Clarke says happily. 

Lexa chews on her lip, growing a bit nervous, but the smile is still present. She doesn't like surprises so she hopes that Clarke will keep her in the loop on what they're doing for their date. Surprises make her really anxious. And she's already going to be anxious going on another date with this girl. Clarke just has that effect on her. 

And speaking of nerves. 

"You should get going." Lexa informs the blonde. "Anya will be here any minute." She says with a sigh, glancing down at her watch. Her sister should be there in just 2 or 3 minutes. 

"Are you trying to hide me from your sister?" Clarke asks with a teasing grin.

"Yes." Lexa answers honestly and Clarke just laughs. "She's... intense..." Lexa says, not really knowing how else to describe her sister. She knows that Clarke will probably meet her at some point, unless whatever this is between them doesn't end up working out. But that thought just makes Lexa even more anxious than thinking about Clarke meeting Anya. She just doesn't want Anya to scare her away. She loves her sister's protectiveness but for the first time, it may not be a good thing. 

"I get it." Clarke says, not offended at all that Lexa doesn't want her to meet her sister yet. She didn't really want Lexa meeting her friends yet either. She gets it. "Okay, text me when you get there." Clarke tells Lexa, tightening her hold on the girl a little. She gives her another smile as Lexa nods at her, then pulls her into another hug. "Have fun." She says, before pulling away from the girl once again. Though, all she wants to do is pull her back and never let go. But she knows that she can't do that. Plus, that'd be weird. 

"Bye, Clarke," Lexa says softly as she watches Clarke pull completely away from her. 

Clarke gives her a smile and a small wave as she backs up towards the door to their dorms. "Bye, Lexa." 

Lexa sighs as she watches blonde escape into the building. She really did briefly consider not going to stay with Anya this weekend just so that she could spend more time with Clarke. But that thought didn't last very long. For one, they haven't even been dating for very long, if that's what you could even call it so she really needs to not be so clingy. Plus, she really does miss her sister and her home. She can't wait to be in the safety of her bedroom again and in her bed. 

She sits down on the bench and looks down at her watch, frowning when she sees that it's a minute after the hour. She looks around to see if she can spot her sister's car, but she doesn't. Her sister is never late so she starts to get a little worried. She knows that it's only a couple of minutes, but it's still not like her sister. Anya knows how much punctuality means to her. 

Finally, after Lexa had almost called out a search party, Anya pulls up to the curb 6 minutes late. Lexa stands up stiffly and makes her way to her sisters car. She puts her bag in the backseat and then climbs into the passenger seat. "You're late." She says simply, putting her seat belt on.

Anya can sense how tense her little sister is and she knows that it's because of her. She'd meant to call her to let her know that she was just running a little behind, but her phone had slid onto the floorboard or her passenger seat while she'd been driving. She'd just tossed it over into the seat when she'd gotten in her car, being in a hurry, trying to avoid being late. But that obviously still happened, regardless. "I know." She says with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Lex." she says, hoping that her sister can relax and not let it effect the rest of her day. 

Lexa just stays silent and looks out the car window as they start to head back to Anya's house. She'd been having such a good day until that little blimp. She hates that little things like that can ruin her whole day and she tries really hard not to let it. But when something happens like that, it just makes her tense and feel off. 

"Hey,how about we stop by the farmer's market on the way home?" Anya says, breaking the silence about 10 minutes into the ride. She glances over at her sister, who has her forehead pressed against the glass as she watches the scenery pass them by. She just shrugs her shoulders in response. Anya sighs, but decides she's going to try her best to turn her sisters day around. And she knows how much her sister likes going to the farmers market. Especially going to all the booths that sell flowers. 

After a couple of minutes of thinking, Lexa perks up at the idea of going to the farmers market. She'd been thinking the past few days on something to give to Clarke. She'd gone through a lot of different ideas, not liking any of them, but she thinks that she's finally decided on something. Maybe. She just really wants to give the blonde something, since she's given her so much. And she's not just referring to the paintings that Clarke had much so much thought and effort into. She's given her a lot in other ways as well. 

"I need to buy some things." Lexa suddenly says. 

Anya glances over at her and smiles, happy to see that the girl has perked up a little. "Well, good job we're going to the Farmers Market, yeah?" She jokes, reaching out to nudge her little sister, hoping to keep her spirits light. But she still seems tense. "What do you need to get?" She asks curiuosly. 

"I'm making something for Clarke," she says simply. And though that doesn't really answer Anya's question, she decides not to push it. She'll find out soon enough what her little sister is up to. She looks over at Lexa again and sees a smile on her face this time. She's confused for a second until she sees her on her phone. And she knows that it's safe to say she's probably talking to Clarke. She can already tell that that girl has a way of turning Lexa's moods around within seconds. 

Clarke: (4:38pm) - So I know you are supposed to text me when you get to your sisters, but I maybe, already miss you. 

Lexa: (4:39pm) - I miss you too. I was just thinking about you. 

Clarke: (4:40pm) - I feel like I can't stop thinking about you.

"You've got it bad girl." Lexa hears, Anya's voice, making her snap her head up to look at her sister. Her eyes widen when she realizes that Anya has been watching her. She knows that she's been smiling like an idiot and she can feel the blush on her face. She's probably darker than the red T-shirt that she's wearing. She just looks away from Anya bashfully, and ignore her, going back to her phone. 

Anya's right. There's no arguing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What What!! Finally updated! Let me know if it sucked because I kind of had to force it out again. And my mac broke down on me so I'm using a PC and I'm like PC illiterate apparently and I've been struggling all day with it! ): 
> 
> Anyway, I'm off the next couple of days so I'm going to really try and get another chapter out for you guys, since I made you wait so long!
> 
> Just let me know what you thought of this one and if there are things that you guys would like to see in the future! Big things and even just little things!! (: 
> 
> Tumblr: all-the-fictional-lesbians.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

Anya sits up quickly in bed, a loud crash pulling her from her slumber. She reaches into her night stand drawer and pulls out a dagger before quickly exiting her bedroom. Sure maybe most people keep a baseball bat or something by their bed for protection but she’s a little more badass than that. 

She makes her way quietly downstairs where she'd heard the crash, clutching the weapon in her hand. As she turns the corner into the kitchen, she flips the light on and raises the knife, ready to attack whoever it was in her kitchen. 

She lets out a sigh when she sees her little sister standing in the middle of the kitchen, hitting herself on the forehead over and over, mumbling something under her breath. It’s something that Lexa does pretty often when she does something to upset herself. 

She notices a batch of cupcakes on the floor as well as the pan, which must have been the source of the noise. 

She relaxes, realizing it’s not an intruder and puts the blade onto the counter before moving over to her distressed sister. “Hey, it’s okay.” She says soothingly, though Lexa continues hitting herself and mumbling, seemingly not even noticing Anya’s presence. “Lexa, stop, honey.” She says in the same soothing voice. She puts a hand on Lexa’s back and the other one gently grips onto Lexa’s arm, to stop her from hitting herself.

She finally succeeds, and after a minute when she’s sure that Lexa isn’t going to start it up again, she lets go of her. She glances over at the clock on the oven and groans. "Lex, it's 2 am, what are you doing?" she asks, frustrated with the girl. 

But this seems to trigger Lexa and she starts hitting herself again, obviously still upset with herself. “Stupid!” She mumbles angrily, over and over again.

"Hey, okay. I’m sorry. It’s okay, Lex. Just calm down. It’s okay. You’re not stupid." Anya tries soothing, reaching for the girl's hand again, to stop it from smacking her forehead, though Lexa once again tries to resist. 

Luckily she succeeds in stopping her once again, after another minute of soothing words. But this time she waits a few more minutes to make sure that Lexa seemed more calm than she had last time.

"Did you drop a batch?" She asks knowingly, looking at said cupcakes on the floor. 

"I threw them." Lexa says simply, glaring down at the cupcakes on the floor. 

Anya raises a brow at the girl then lets out a sigh, once again. She pinches the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "Lexa, why are you throwing cupcakes in my kitchen at 2am?" She asks, clearly annoyed with the girl. It's early and she doesn't want to be dealing with this. 

"They weren't right." She says simply. 

"Did you ever think to throw them into the trashcan and not on my floor?" She asks, exasperated. "And what's wrong with them anyway?" She asks, bending down and picking one up that still managed to be in the tray and hadn't actually touched the floor. She takes a bite of it, and it tastes like it should to her. "They taste fine to me, Lex." 

"Well, they aren't." She says with a huff. She starts busying herself with ingredients, obviously planning on starting all over again. 

Anya walks over and places her hands on top of Lexa's, stopping her movements, which makes her sister frown. "Lexa, it's 2 in the morning." She says simply as if that should say enough. And to most people it would, but Lexa just looks at her to continue speaking, still not getting her point. "You need to sleep. You've been baking since before I went to bed around 11." She says with furrowed brows. “And you never stay up this late.”

"Well, I can't get them right." She says softly, her voice full of defeat. 

"Lexa, you make the best cupcakes out of anyone I know." She says simply, not understanding why Lexa is having such a hard time. She's always loved baking and while Anya has always been the better cook, Lexa excels in baking. Especially cupcakes. She always makes up her own recipes, playing with the ingredients and they're heavenly. "What's going on?" 

Lexa just sighs and plops down on the bar stool in front of the island, she's been standing at. She lets her head drop into her hand, holding it up, looking completely defeated. "They have to be perfect, they're for Clarke." She says, not looking up at her sister. She starts picking at one of the cupcake wrappers, sitting on the counter to busy her hands.

"Lexa, they taste great. You're just stressing yourself out." She tells her honestly. "Clarke will love them. I'm sure she'd love the fact that you made them for her, even if they taste like dirt, though." She says honestly, a small smirk playing on her lips. Lexa has told her everything that's happened with Clarke, including Octavia telling her how head over heels Clarke is. And if that's true, she knows that the blonde won't scrutinize her cupcakes. 

"No." Lexa says, shaking her head. "She's given me two paintings, that were…they were wonderful and perfect…" she says with a sigh. "She worked so hard on them and I-…." she says, but stops talking, trying to calm herself down because she can feel that she's getting worked up again. "They have to be perfect." She says simply, standing back up. 

She starts to mix things together again, starting over, but Anya stops her once again. "Okay, but you have tomorrow to make them as well." Anya points out. "Get some sleep, you'll be able to think and bake better when it's not 2am." She says matter of fact, tugging on the girl's wrist. 

Lexa contemplates her options for a moment and then gives in with a sigh. "Okay." 

"Good." Anya says with a nod. "Now, let me help you put some of this away real quick and we can go to bed." She says, starting to pick up the things that needed to be put back in the fridge. She was tired and didn't exactly want to clean the kitchen, but some things need to be put away or they'll ruin. She also knows that Lexa probably won't go to bed with a mess in the kitchen.

\---

“Griffin, what’s wrong with you?” Bellamy asks from his spot in her desk chair. He lets his eyes move off of the TV where he’d been watching Raven and Octavia playing a game against each other. He looks over at her and sees her lying on her stomach on the bed, a grumpy look on her face. 

“Nothing.” She mumbles, kicking her leg up and down as she boredly watches the game that they’re playing, though she doesn’t really follow. She plays some games sometimes with them, but for the most part, she’s pretty lost when it comes to video games. 

“She’s depressed because her mystery hottie went home for the weekend.” Octavia says with a smirk, not letting her eyes off the screen. “She’s been moping all weekend and kind of acting like a child.” 

“Have not.” She returns with a pout. 

They all just smirk, because that kind of just proved their point.

“A lot of people go home on the weekends, if their family lives close enough. I’m pretty sure we all would if we lived close enough.” He says honestly, and the other three can’t help but agree. “And, why are we still calling her mystery girl? Aren’t you guys dating now?” Bellamy asks confused, looking between the three girls. Clarke doesn’t budge or look like she’s going to make any effort to answer. She barely looks like she’d even been listening to the conversation. 

“It’s just more fun.” Raven says simply, shrugging her shoulders. “Damn it!” She shouts as Octavia kills her player for the 3rd time in a row. 

Octavia just chuckles and resets the game. Raven almost protests because she’s tired of losing, but of course she is going to keep playing until she wins. Even if it takes all night long. “This is just getting embarrassing, Reyes.” Octavia says with a smirk. “You play worse than Bellamy.” 

“Shut up.” Bellamy says, shoving his little sister. 

“Stop!” She yells back angrily, because he’d almost messed her up.

“And you say that I’m the child.” Clarke says with a huff, rolling her eyes as she watches the two siblings fight with each other.

They don’t respond to her other than glares, but she doesn’t really care. Especially since just as that happens, she feels her phone vibrate next to her. Pretty much anyone that would text her is in the room right now, besides her mom who rarely texts her, so she’s pretty hopeful that it’s Lexa. And luckily for her, it is.

Lexa: (7:39pm) - Hey, I’m back at Polis. 

Clarke: (7:41pm) - Finally! Are you in your room? 

Lexa: (7:41pm) - Yes. I have something for you. 

Clarke: (7:42pm) - Well, I was going to ask to come over but I guess that gives me an even better reason to come. 

Lexa: (7:43pm) - I’ll be here whenever you’re ready. You don’t have to come yet if you were busy.

Clarke: (7:44pm) - I’m not. Just watching my friends play video games. Nothing, pressing. I don’t really get it that much anyway. 

Lexa: (7:44pm) - Okay (:

Clarke climbs off of her bed and pulls her shoes on, glancing over at Octavia, Raven and Bellamy. Thankfully, Raven is in their room right now, distracted, so it won’t be hard for her to go over to Lexa’s and she won’t have to give any kind of excuse or anything. “I’m going out. I’ll be back.” Clarke says, walking towards the door. Her friends just wave at her distractedly, too into the game to really pay her any attention. 

She walks a few doors down and knocks gently on the door. She knows that she just told Lexa she was coming over, so maybe she could just walk in, but she’s not comfortable enough to do that yet. Her and Lexa just started whatever it is they’re doing. Plus, she’s still not sure exactly what Lexa would be comfortable with and what she wouldn’t be comfortable with. She doesn’t want to trigger anything or upset her. 

It doesn’t take long Lexa to open the door, a smile on her face. “Hello, Clarke,” She greets, pushing her glasses up on her nose. 

Clarke doesn’t even respond verbally. She just reaches out and grabs Lexa’s hands, gently pulling her into a hug. She feels the girl tense briefly underneath her, but it doesn’t take her long to relax and hug Clarke back. When she feels Lexa nuzzle her nose into her neck, she just smiles wider and tightens her grip on the girl. 

After a minute, they pull apart, both smiling widely at each other, though Lexa’s is a little bashful. It just makes Clarke swoon for her even more. 

“So, you have a present for me?” Clarke asks with a grin, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Oh! Right!” Lexa says, blushing a bit. Staring at Clarke and just being in her presence, she’d almost forgotten. “Come in.” She says, moving out of the way so that Clarke can come into her room.

She feels that same feeling of guilt wash over her as she takes in Raven’s things on her side of the room. She knows she needs to come clean about her best friend being the girl she likes’ roommate, but she’s still scared. But it’s starting to nag at her even more and she’s worried it’s all going to blow up and be worse than it could have been. But she always has had a thing for avoiding her problems. 

“I made these for you.” Lexa says with a smile, picking up a plate of cupcakes and thrusting them nervously towards Clarke. 

Clarke looks down at them and lets out a small gasp. “These are beautiful,” she comments, picking one up. They’re perfectly decorated with flowers on the top and look like they’d come from a professional baker. She’s impressed and she hasn’t even tasted them yet. 

She pulls down the wrapper and takes a bite, as gracefully as she can but still manages to get some icing on her face. It just makes Lexa giggle at her though. And that makes her not care so much about the icing. She’ll put it all over her face if she can continue to hear Lexa giggle.

“And taste delicious.” She mumbles, her mouth full of cupcake. “Oh my God.” She about moans. “Seriously, the best thing that I have ever put in my mouth.” She says, taking another big bite of it. 

Lexa just blushes and looks away shyly. “Thank you,” she says sincerely. “I just wanted to make you something. You know, since you worked so hard on those paintings for me,” she says, motioning to said painting and drawing that are hanging on her wall. “I wanted to make something for you as well.” She says with a smile. “But, I’m not really good at drawing or anything like that.”

Clarke smiles, her mouth still full and icing on her lips. “Thank you, Lexa. I had no idea you were such a good baker.” She says with a grin. “But you shouldn’t have done this because now I will expect lots of cupcakes from you.” She says with a chuckle. 

Lexa just giggles back in response. “I think I can manage that.” She grins, truly ecstatic that Clarke likes her gift. “Though, I can only make them on the weekends while I’m at Anya’s so that I can use her kitchen.” She explains. “It’s sort of hard to make them in here with just a coffee pot and a small microwave.” She adds chuckling. 

Clarke just hums in agreement as she finishes the cupcake in her hand. “Speaking of, how was your trip home?” She asks, now moving on to lick the icing off of her fingers. 

“It was really good.” Lexa nods. “I always enjoy seeing my sister and being back home,” she shrugs. “How was your weekend?” 

Clarke just shrugs in response, as she works on cleaning her face. But she’s not looking too successful so Lexa smiles and hands her a paper towel. “Nothing too exciting, happened.” She says matter of fact. “Just went to a party and hung out with my friends.” She says, as she throws the paper towel into the small trash can. “I missed you.” She says sincerely, looking back over at Lexa. 

“I missed you too.” Lexa says shyly as she watches Clarke sit down on her bed. The blonde extends her arm out to reach for her and Lexa smiles, taking a step forward. She doesn’t hesitate to give Clarke her hand, she’s gotten used to the hand holding. And she likes it.  
But she hadn’t expected Clarke to pull her over and onto the bed as well. She watches Clarke situate herself against the headboard as she stays still in her spot, not really knowing what to do. She’s not really used to being this closes to people. Unless they’re hugging and she doesn’t do that with very many people. 

“Come here.” Clarke finally says with a soft smile, tugging on Lexa’s hand. She pulls the girl over to her and it makes Lexa tense up a bit, but she complies, sitting next to her against the headboard. As she feels the girl’s arm wrap around her, it actually relaxes her and she just about melts into Clarke’s side. 

Clarke starts playing with her hair with the hand she has around her shoulders, and it makes Lexa lay her head down on Clarke’s shoulder. The blonde then uses her other hand to grab Lexa’s hand, lacing their fingers together across her lap. 

“Is this okay?” Clarke asks quietly. 

Lexa nods her head as her body relaxes even more into Clarke. She let’s her eyes close and lets out a deep breath. She can’t remember a time that she’d felt so relaxed. Especially a time other than being at home with her older sister or with Lincoln. She’d never been this calm around someone that isn’t her brother or sister. It’s weird, but she likes it. She likes how Clarke makes her feel. 

“So, I was thinking that we could have that date tomorrow night. If you aren’t busy.” Clarke says softly. They’re alone and there isn’t a reason as to why she’d need to be quiet, but the atmosphere is so calm and peaceful that she feels like speaking too loudly will disrupt it. 

“That sounds good to me. What are we doing?” Lexa asks curiously. 

Clarke lets out a humming noise as she continues to run her fingers through Lexa’s hair. She had sort of wanted to surprise Lexa, but she already knows that will probably make the girl anxious. Plus, it’s not like she planned anything over the top or anything. She doesn’t want to freak her out on their second date. “Well, me and Octavia decided to roam around campus the other night at like 2am because we couldn’t sleep. We may have been drinking.” She says with a smirk. “But anyway, we found some really cool spots that I don’t think others know about. I was thinking we could do a picnic, I found a place that I think you’ll really like.” She says, hoping that Lexa will be down for it. “I know that it’s super cliche and kind of lame so if you’d rather-

“Clarke, that sounds perfect.” Lexa interrupts before Clarke can rant too long about her idea. “Besides, I like the idea of it just being me and you rather than a restaurant full of people.” She says with a shy smile. 

“I was kind of thinking that too.” Clarke agrees with a smile of her own.

\---

“Just pick something.” Lincoln groans, lying back on Lexa’s bed and throwing his hands over his face. 

“I second that.” Comes Anya’s voice from the computer screen that is sitting on the bed next to Lincoln. They’re both watching Lexa who had already changed her outfit over 10 times, probably. They kind of lost track, but it’s been a lot. “You look great in anything, and I’m sure that Clarke will agree.” Anya tells her honestly with a sigh. She loves her sister, but if she has to watch her refuse yet another outfit and change into something else, she’s probably going to rip her hair out. 

Lexa is refusing all of their advice. No matter how good they tell her she looks, she just doesn’t believe it. But at this point, they don’t think she’ll like herself in anything. That’s just Lexa. Though, they’ve never had to deal with it to this extreme. They’ve never seen her go on a date before. 

“She’s right.” Lincoln nods. He stands up off the bed and walks over to her closet, looking through it. “These,” he says simply, handing her a pair of white shorts. He starts to go for a shirt, but feels her shoving his hand away. He looks over at her and sees her shaking her head. 

“I don’t want to wear shorts,” she says quietly. 

They can both tell that she’s being insecure as always, but it blows their minds because her body is amazing. “Lexa, it’s 90 degrees outside and you said you guys are having a picnic.” Lincoln points out as though it were obvious. 

“He’s right, you don’t need to wear jeans. Way too hot.” Anya agrees. 

Lexa sighs and rolls her eyes at the two, almost wanting to throw a fit, but she decides against it. They’re kind of right, too and she doesn’t want to get too hot and sweaty. She already gets pretty sweaty around Clarke just because of nerves. Plus the shorts aren’t so short that they’re really uncomfortable. She’d never buy shorts that short. “Fine.” She says simply, grabbing the shorts out of his hand. 

She puts them on as well as the shirt that Lincoln had picked out for her. Looking herself in the mirror, she has more complaints about the outfit, which her brother and sister can see written on her face before she even has a chance to voice it. 

“Lexa, you look great. Stop.” Anya says firmly, not giving Lexa any room to spill the complaints she knew were coming. “You’re not going to be ready when she gets here if you keep this up.” She points out, raising a brow at the girl. “And you still need to do your hair.” 

Lexa gives both of them an annoyed look, but she doesn’t say anything because she knows that they’re both right. She doesn’t have time to keep changing and even she knows that she’s not going to be satisfied in anything that she puts on. She just wants to look perfect for Clarke, but she doesn’t feel like anything is enough for the blonde or even close to perfect. 

Lexa moves over to her mirror and starts to brush her curly hair, trying to tame it, which is pretty much impossible. She glances back at Lincoln through the mirror when she hears him and Anya talking amongst themselves, but thankfully they aren’t talking about her for once. 

“Hey Lexa.” Lincoln calls out a moment later. 

She glances at him again through the mirror, her hands up as she puts her hair up in a bun. “What?” She mumbles, already knowing that she’s probably not going to like whatever it is that he has to say, judging by the smirk on his face.

“Make sure you use protection tonight.” He says, making Lexa’s eyes widen. Her hands drop down to her sides, her hair falling back down around her shoulders. 

“Lincoln!” Anya shouts, before Lexa even gets the chance. “Not funny.” She adds, glaring at the boy. 

Lexa glares at him as well, thankful that her sister is actually on her side and not teasing her as well like she normally does. Though, she knows it’s because Anya doesn’t want to think about her little sister having sex. And Lexa is okay with that, because she doesn’t want to talk about that either. 

“We’re not-... we’re not going to do that.” Lexa stutters, her face turning bright red. 

Lincoln just chuckles at her reaction and looks over at Anya, rolling his eyes when he sees the glare on her face. “I’m kidding.” He says, putting his hands up in defense. 

Lexa just turns back around and finishes putting her hair up. Thankfully, neither of them bother her for the next few minutes as she finishes getting ready and continue to talk amongst themselves. Mostly, still getting caught up since they haven’t gotten to talk much ever since Lincoln came back into their lives. And he’s yet to go back home with her for the weekend, even though he keeps saying that he’s going to. They’re all busy though, especially Lincoln and Anya. Lexa doesn’t really do much. Until now. 

Until Clarke. 

A moment later there is a knock on her door, and she feels her heart start racing in her chest. She looks over at Anya and Lincoln who smile at her encouragingly. She takes in a deep breath and stands up, looking herself over nervously. “How do I look?” She asks quietly, not wanting Clarke to hear her through the door. 

“Beautiful.” Anya tells her with a smile and Lincoln nods his head in agreement. 

“Okay, Lincoln, please just stay there. I don’t want you talking to her and scaring her away.” She says, and Lincoln looks offended. Thankfully, she doesn’t have to deal with Anya because she’s just on her computer screen which can be easily shut. But she doesn’t want Lincoln coming to the door with her. It’s too new and Lincoln and Anya are way too protective. She doesn’t want to scare the blonde away yet. “Please... you can meet her soon enough, okay?” 

Lincoln sighs, but nods. “Fine.” 

“Thank you!” Lexa says gratefully. She runs over and kisses his cheek, and then blows Anya a kiss before rushing to the door. She opens it up and smiles when she sees Clarke, but makes sure not to open the door up enough to where Clarke can see Lincoln. “Hi,” she grins, walking out and shutting her door behind her. 

“They grow up so fast.” Lincoln says, acting as if he’s going to cry. 

Anya just smirks and shakes her head. “Shut up.”

\---

“Come on!” Clarke says, excitedly as she pulls Lexa along behind her. She’s got a bag full of food and some drinks in one hand and a blanket tucked under her arm so that she can still hold Lexa’s hand. 

That’s obviously the most important thing. 

She’s leading the girl to one of the places that she and Octavia found the other night, the one that she thinks will be perfect for a date with Lexa. Though, she’s a bit surprised that she remembers where it is, considering she had been intoxicated the night she and Octavia stumbled upon it. The campus is huge with lots of twists and turns, even woods all around the outside of it. But thankfully it doesn’t take long. 

“Okay, we’re almost there!” Clarke says, and Lexa just smiles as she tries to keep up with the enthusiastic girl. 

She just about runs into Clarke’s back a minute later when the blonde stops short in front of her. She wrinkles her nose a bit and was going to ask why she stopped, but then that’s when something catches her attention. She looks around notices that they’re in a huge garden, different kinds of flowers surrounding them for as far as she can see. 

Her jaw drops and her eyes widen as she stares at the beautiful garden. “Clarke....” she breathes out, completely at a loss for words. She lets her fingers lightly ghost over some of the different flowers, as she walks along the path, taking everything in. 

Clarke just watches her with a wide smile. “I thought you might like this.” She says, following behind the girl, but staying back and letting her admire it on her own.

“I love it.” Lexa finally says, turning around to look at Clarke. “I really want to kiss you right now.” She says, and then her eyes widen and her face turns bright red. “I’m sorry, umm... I sometimes blurt things out without thinking and I-... 

“Lexa-” Clarke tries to interrupt but Lexa continues to babble about how she has no filter. “Lexa, shut up and kiss me.” Clarke says affectionately with a wide smile. 

This makes Lexa’s mouth snap shut and she looks up at the blonde once again. She looks a bit hesitant, but then a small smile appears on her face, and she bravely takes a step closer to Clarke to where they’re just inches apart. She chew on her bottom lip for a second, her eyes darting between Clarke’s and down to her lips. Without another thought, she reaches out and cups Clarke behind her neck, pulling her in for a kiss. Her lips feel a lot softer against her own that she had imagined, but she doesn't know why she's so surprised. Clarke's lips have always looked very soft. 

She feels the blonde pull away only slightly and tilt her head before continuing the kiss. Lexa moves with her, as she feels her heart racing. She's pretty sure that Clarke can probably even hear it, it's pounding so hard against her chest. She has no idea what she's doing and she just hopes that she's doing it right, because she's kind of just winging it and trying to follow what Clarke is doing. All she knows is that she's really enjoying it and she just wants Clarke to be enjoying it just as much as she is. 

She doesn't want to be a bad kisser. 

It actually kind of shocks Clarke that Lexa had made the move and kissed her first. Though, she’s definitely not complaining about it. She brings her hands up to rest on Lexa’s waist as they continue to softly kiss, the bag and blanket, being dropped to the ground and forgotten. She’s tempted to pull Lexa closer to her and deepen the kiss, but she doesn’t want to move things too fast and scare her. Kissing Lexa has completely made her see fireworks. She knows that's cliche and she always scoffed when people would say it, but now she gets it. It's actually a thing because she swears that she sees them. And her entire body is alight itself. She's kissed multiple people before, but none of have felt like this. 

Lexa is so soft against her. She can tell the girl is nervous, by her slow and cautious movements, and Clarke just wants to assure her not to be. She wants her to relax and just enjoy kissing her, to fully let go.

When Clarke pulls back after a minute, she quickly opens her eyes wanting to see Lexa’s reaction. And she’s glad that she did. The brunette slowly lets her eyes flutter open and looks completely dazed by the kiss. She blinks a few times like she's trying to pull herself out of her daze and bring herself back down to Earth. She looks adorable and it makes Clarke just want to keep kissing her forever. Which, she already kind of wanted to do that in the first place.

“I really like kissing you.” Lexa breathes out almost in amazement. She thought hugging Clarke was the best thing ever, but that’s definitely been beat now. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.” She admits softly. 

Clarke just smiles, pulling Lexa a bit closer to her, wrapping her arms around the girl’s waist. “Well, I’m honored to be your first kiss.” Clarke says with a grin. “And your second...” she says quietly, leaning in and pulling Lexa in for another kiss. 

"Can I ask you a question? It's kind of personal." Clarke says hesitantly, looking across from her at Lexa. The two had finally laid the blanket out on the ground and decided to eat the dinner that Clarke had gotten for them. She would have cooked, but A, she’s not the best cook and B, there isn’t much you can cook in a dorm room. So take out it was. Lexa doesn’t seem to mind though. 

The brunette looks up a little fearful in response to Clarke’s question, but nods her head nevertheless. 

So Clarke nods as well and takes a deep breath, a little nervous to ask Lexa. "What's it like having Aspergers? I mean.. I read some on it." She says, and then finds herself blushing, admitting that. Lexa just smiles at her, giving Clarke the courage to continue. "But, I still don't know what it's like to live with it…" She says, and then winces at herself because she feels like she shouldn't be asking such a question. "I'm sorry, that-…you don't have to answer." 

"It's fine, Clarke." Lexa responds with a gentle smile, reassuring her. "I don't exactly know what it's like to live without it so I don't know entirely what is different." She starts with a small shrug. "But, I know that I'm really sensitive to sound, like you've already witnessed from the fire alarm. All of my senses are kind of heightened. Light as well, but not as much as sound. That one bothers me the most. " She says with a sigh. "And it's really hard for me to read other people or tell what they're thinking." She says with a frown. "That gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes and I get confused by people because of it. And that's kind of scary." She admits. 

"I bet." Clarke nods, giving her an encouraging smile to continue talking if she'd like to. She just wants her to know that she's listening and she's not judging her. She truly wants to know more about what it's like for Lexa. Since she’ll never know personally. But she wants to know and be able to possibly help the girl in anyway that she can.

"I had to learn not to just assume that people were feeling the same things that I was feeling and that I should ask." She explains. "But sometimes that gets me in trouble too, because I can be too blunt and it makes people uncomfortable. It's just kind of hard figuring out what to say and what not to say because I don't have the people skills that others do or the social skills." She tells her. "That's one of the reasons I was bullied and made fun of so much in school. I don’t really understand why certain things aren’t socially acceptable, if it’s how you’re feeling it should be said. But apparently that isn’t right.”

Clarke frowns as Lexa starts to talk about being bullied again. She doesn't like to think of anyone hurting this girl. But, she knows that it apparently happened to her a lot in the past. She just wants to do everything she can to make sure it doesn't happen to her anymore. “Well, I want you to feel free to say whatever is on your mind around me, alright? Even if it’s something that I may not want to hear. You’re right, it should be said.” She says honestly. She doesn’t want Lexa to ever think too hard on what to say or how to act around her. She just wants her to be comfortable and be herself.

Lexa looks like she’s not completely convinced that she should do that, but she nods regardless. 

“I kind of did when I said that I wanted to kiss you.” Lexa says, slightly embarrassed still by her random outburst. 

Clarke just giggles and scoots closer to Lexa. “Well, that didn’t end badly for you did it?” She asks with a wink. Lexa just blushes even harder and looks away shyly, though she shakes her head, ‘no’, to answer Clarke’s question. 

It had actually worked out great for her.

\---

"Hey, O?" Clarke asks, rolling her head to the side, to look over at her roommate who was organizing all of her hats on a shelf she'd hung up on the wall. She'd never realized that Octavia had so many hats. Though, now that she thinks about it, she is always wearing one and they’re always different. It's just different to see them all side by side on a shelf. 

"What?" Octavia responds, not turning around towards her roommate, but continuing with that she was doing. She glances at one of the hats with a confused look, not really sure where it came from. She couldn't really remember buying it, but she likes it, so oh well. 

Clarke sits up on her bed and puts her phone that she'd been playing with next to her. "Would you maybe, come to lunch with me and Lexa tomorrow?" She asks a bit nervously. Now that Octavia knows about the girl, she kind of wants her to get to know her. She really likes Lexa and she thinks that it's going to go somewhere. And she's already worried about Raven's reaction. It'll help to at least know that Octavia likes her. 

Octavia whips her head around and looks at the girl like she'd just grown two heads. "Why?" She asks confused. 

It catches Clarke off guard a little bit, because she hadn't expected the girl to be that against the idea. At least not this against it. “Because, I really like her and I’d like for you to get to know her.” Clarke says as if it were obvious. 

“What about Raven?” Octavia asks, turning around fully to look at Clarke. She’s a little hesitant to the idea of Raven meeting Lexa as well. Just because Raven can be a bit intimidating and abrasive. Once you get to know her, you see that she’s one of the most loyal and kind friends, but at first, she doesn’t come off that way. It’s because Raven doesn’t really like for people to see that side of her. 

“I was thinking I’d start with you.” Clarke says with a shrug, obviously not wanting to tell Octavia the real reason. Though, meeting them one at a time would probably be best anyway, regardless of if Lexa was Raven’s roommate. “I don’t want to overwhelm her.” She adds, to clarify why she wants her to meet just Octavia first. 

Octavia nods in understanding because she can get that. But she still feels weird about it because of the lies she’s keeping from Clarke. What if Lexa says something about their coffee dates or the time they went to dinner? Not that they were actually dates. But Clarke knows that Octavia had a thing for the girl she’d been having coffee with. And Octavia doesn’t want Clarke knowing that she had a thing for her girl. It’ll just cause drama. 

But she doesn’t want to ask Lexa to lie for her anymore. She knows that it’s making the girl uncomfortable. She’ll just have to hope for the best and hope that she can keep the conversation away from that. And if anything does come out then she’ll try and explain to Clarke and deal with it then. But until then, she’s going to continue the charade. Even if she knows it’s probably just going to blow up in her face sooner or later. 

She always has been a procrastinator. 

“Lexa already agreed to lunch, so now I just need you to say yes.” Clarke says, pulling Octavia out of her thoughts. 

“She did?” She asks a little surprised. 

“Yeah,” Clarke nods. “She seemed a little nervous, but that’s to be expected.” 

Octavia frowns a bit, knowing that she’s probably mainly nervous because of all the lies that Octavia has been making her play along with. She’ll have to text Lexa before they go to lunch and see if she’s okay and if she’s actually up for it. If not, she can conveniently find a way to get out of it. Though, the more she hangs out with Clarke and Lexa, the easier it’ll be for them to not have to hide their friendship.

“Okay just let me know when and where.” 

\----

“Alright, are you sure you’re up for lunch with Octavia? She’s definitely the nicer of my two friends, but she can be a little much sometimes too.” Clarke says worriedly. She looks over at the girl sitting next to her as they start packing up their things from class. She knows that Lexa had agreed to this, but now she’s getting a little nervous. She just doesn’t want Lexa to be uncomfortable. Also, she really wants them to like each other. They’re two of her favorite people. 

“I’m sure, Clarke.” Lexa says with an amused smile. She’s feeling a little nervous herself, but not as nervous as she probably should be. She already knows Octavia though and is comfortable with her so it’s not as scary as it would be to meet another one of Clarke’s friends. 

Though she’s nervous about how Octavia is going to react and if she’s going to continue to act like she doesn’t know her. Lexa figures, she should just not bring up their previous hangouts into conversation, just to be safe. She’s confused as to what she can and can’t say so she’s probably just not going to say much. Not that, that is unusual for her anyway. 

“Okay well, Octavia is on her way there now.” Clarke says, standing up from her seat and throwing her back over her shoulder. “Ready?” She asks, taking in a deep breath herself. 

“I think I should be asking you that.” Lexa says with a smirk. 

Clarke just rolls her eyes and smiles at the girl that’d won over her affections instantly. This funny side of her, just being another reason. “Come on,” Clarke says, ignoring the girl’s comment and reaching out for Lexa’s hand, who takes it this time with no hesitation. The hand holding has become a habit now. One that neither of them plan on quitting anytime soon.

They reach the little cafe on campus that they’d all agreed on, and already see Octavia sitting at a table in the corner. It’s a little crowded so Lexa is happy that the girl had chosen the table that is most out of the way than the others. It’s also against the wall which she likes because she likes to be sitting against the wall, where people can’t walk up behind her. 

“Hey, O.” Clarke greets, pulling Lexa behind her. “You remember, Lexa.” She says, glancing over at the girl she’s been dating and then back at her roommate and best friend. 

“Of course.” Octavia says with a smile towards Lexa. “Hey, Lexa.” She greets warmly. 

It makes Lexa feel at ease, because she girl isn’t acting like she doesn’t know her. “Hello Octavia.” She greets back. She goes for the chair against the wall and can’t help but smile when Clarke sits down next to her and even scoots her chair a little closer to her. The blonde even puts her arm on the back of the chair, behind her shoulders.

“I’m starving.” Clarke says, trying to break the small silence that had fallen over them. None of them really knowing what to say. They’re all a little nervous, but for different reasons. 

“Oh look, they have mac n cheese.” Lexa points out on the menu, knowing that it’s Clarke’s favorite food. They’d spent most of the remainder of their date, lying cuddled on the ground asking each other simple questions like favorite foods and such. It may seem silly, but it made them feel a lot closer to each other. 

Clarke smiles over at the girl and then looks at Octavia to see her staring at them with an unreadable look on her face. She can’t tell if it’s a good or bad look on her face, but she chooses to ignore it either way. Hopefully, they’ll all get more comfortable with each other and this lunch will go over smoothly. She’s not really sure what she’ll do if her best friend and the girl she is dating don’t get along. 

\---

"So what did you think of Lexa?" Clarke asks as she and Octavia walk inside of their dorm room. They both walk over to their respective beds and sit on them, facing each other to continue their conversation. 

Octavia just shrugs her shoulders, but smiles. "I like her, Clarke." She says simply. "She's really sweet and funny in a weird way that I don't even thinks she knows about." Octavia says with a chuckle that makes Clarke laugh as well, obviously agreeing. "I see why you like her." She says with a smile, hoping that it doesn't seem as forced as she feels it is.

Of course she liked Lexa. She already knew that before Clarke forced her into having lunch with the two of them. Thankfully, it had gone off without a hitch. It was a little awkward at first, but Clarke expected that for other reasons. So she hadn’t said anything about it. And thankfully, Lexa hadn’t brought up anything about them knowing each other previously or hanging out.

After a few minutes, everyone had relaxed and the conversation had flowed pretty easily. 

“Good. That’s really good.” Clarke says with a relieved smile. “I think that I’m going to ask her to be my girlfriend.” Clarke admits, making Octavia’s eyes widen. 

“Yeah? You think you’re already there?” She asks, knowing that they’ve only gone on two dates. And sure, Clarke seems completely smitten by her, but this just seems a little fast. “You don’t think you should get to know her a little more?” She asks curiously. Octavia normally takes forever before making that step, but she knows that Clarke is pretty different than her. 

Clarke has never really dated that many people and especially not for very long. So when she does find someone she really likes, she goes for it. 

“I know it’s soon, but I don’t know...” Clarke trails off, a thoughtful look on her face. “We just have this connection.” She says, but isn’t really sure how to explain it to Octavia to where she’ll understand it. And honestly, no matter what she says, Octavia probably won’t understand. “I feel like I’ve known her my whole life already.” She explains, but it still doesn’t feel like enough. 

Octavia just gives her a small smile and nods her head. “Well, then ask her. I can tell that she feels the same about you.” Octavia says honestly. At first it was hard for her to see the two together, but as she spent more time with them, it started to get easier. Honestly, she can’t deny how perfect they are for each other after seeing them together and seeing how happy they are around each other. And that’s all she wants for either of them. 

“I will. I just have to figure out how.” Clarke smiles. 

“Are you going to introduce her to Raven anytime soon? You know she’s already been feeling left out. If she knows that I met her and she didn’t, she’s going to be even more upset.” Octavia points out, making Clarke frown. 

“I know....” she trails off, but doesn’t say more. She lets out a sigh before meeting Octavia’s eyes. “I need to tell you something...” 

Octavia furrows her brows and looks at the blonde curiously. She looks nervous, which kind of makes Octavia nervous as well, but mostly confused. “Okay...” she says a bit unsure. 

Clarke stands up from her bed and paces the floor a couple of times, before letting out a long exhale and turning to look at her roommate. “Raven already sort of knows Lexa...” Clarke admits quietly. 

Octavia just looks at her even more confused now. “How?” 

“She’s....” Clarke starts, but then stops, losing her courage. Telling Octavia means she’s just one more step closer to telling Raven and she’s kind of scared shitless about that. Raven is her family and she really doesn’t want to upset her. But she also can’t lose Lexa, she just wants Raven to be okay with it. “She’s Raven’s roommate....” she finally says, closing her eyes and scrunching her face up, almost like she’s ready for an explosion. 

Which she gets. 

But only in the form of Octavia shouting. “What?!” She asks, jumping up off the bed. “The roommate that she hates and constantly calls a freak?” Octavia asks, not believing what she’s hearing. 

Clarke winces, but just nods her head, peaking her eyes open and looking guiltily at Octavia. 

“How could you let her continue to talk about Lexa the way she does? You’re supposed to stand up for her! She is about to be your girlfriend for Godsake!” Octavia shouts, clearly not happy with the way that Clarke has been behaving or the fact that she hasn’t done anything to stop Raven. 

“I know.” Clarke says, her voice full of regret. “But, I haven’t known for a long time. And since I found out, she hasn’t really said anything that terrible about her.” She says, trying to justify it. “I told her to stop calling her a freak.” She tries to say in her defense. “I just...” she starts, letting out a big sigh. She knows that she’s fucked up, but as bad as it is, she does have her reasons. Even if they’re not good enough. “I just know how Raven feels about her and I’m worried how Raven is going to react.” She says honestly. “Raven is my family and I just want her to like and approve of the girl I’m dating. We always said that we’d never date someone that the other two of us don’t approve of.” She reminds the girl. 

Octavia falters at that. She has a point. “Okay, look, I’m still not happy about all of this, but I do get it.” She says, making Clarke feel a little bit better. “What were you planning, though? She’s obviously going to find out sooner or later and it’s just going to be worse when she knows that you’ve been hiding it from her.” She says honestly. 

Clarke just nods her head, because she knows. She’s thought about this over and over. “I don’t really know. I’ve just been avoiding it. You know how good I am at that.” She says bitterly, and Octavia can’t help but agree. Clarke is kind of a pro at avoidance. 

‘You just need to tell her, okay?” Octavia says, not trying to come up with any other option. Though, she’s not exactly in a good spot to be telling Clarke she should be honest. She hasn’t exactly been honest either. “You have me to back you up too. I’m sure when Raven sees how much you guys like each other, she’ll come around and give Lexa a chance.” 

Clarke just rolls her eyes and scoffs. “We’re talking about Raven.” She says, worried that Raven is too stubborn to change her mind now. She’s already decided that she doesn’t like Lexa, even if it’s for no reason. She probably won’t change her mind. “Look, I’m going to tell her okay.. Just give me some time.” She just about begs the other girl, hoping she won’t say anything to Raven. 

Octavia frowns and folds her arms across her chest. “I won’t say anything to Raven.” She says and Clarke lets out a sigh of relief, but Octavia continues. “However, I’m not going to lie for you. So if it comes up or something happens...” 

“Okay, fair enough.” Clarke says, though she’s not exactly happy with that. “Thank you, O.” 

“Does Lexa know?” Octavia asks, ignoring her thank you. 

Clarke looks guilty all over again and shakes her head, making Octavia sigh loudly. “I know!” Clarke yelps. “I’m worried about her being upset with me too...” she cringes. “But, I promise that I will tell them both soon, okay?” 

“You better.” Is all Octavia says, before she walks out the door. 

Clarke just lets out a breath, her shoulders slumping. 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp there you have it!! As always let me know what you guys thought of it! Also let me know if you have any ideas or things you'd like me to add in or you'd want to see!! I'm always up for ideas and options big or small! Especially small because sometimes I just need some little cute fillers!! 
> 
> I also picked up an awesome Beta for this chapter! So shout out to elyzaclexa.tumblr.com for helping me edit!! 
> 
> Also if you don't know by now my tumblr is: all-the-fictional-lesbians.tumblr.com Here I post updates and previews. I also have a social media AU I post on there ft the Clexa from this Universe! I actually posted one today!! So go and check that out if you'd like! 
> 
> Also feel free to message me or chat with me! I'm always down for conversation! About the fic or not about the fic! Ask whatever you'd like!


	10. Chapter 10

Octavia walks into the coffee shop, a few minutes later than she normally does, but her last class had run a little longer than normal. She sees Lexa still standing at the counter when she walks in though and doesn’t feel as bad because she must be running a little late as well. Normally, she’d be sitting down in their spot by now.

“Hey, Lexa.” She greets, walking up beside her. Though, when she gets beside her, she takes in the look of distress on Lexa’s face and it makes her frown. “Hey, what’s up?” She asks and glances over at the barista who just looks annoyed. 

“She’s been standing here for 10 minutes and won’t order.” The girl says with a sigh, rolling her eyes. Octavia furrows her brows and looks back to Lexa, who still just looks upset and hasn’t looked at her or acknowledged her yet. “We’re out of the medium roast that she wants and she won’t pick anything else.” The barista further explains. 

Octavia starts to get it after that comment. She’s learned by now that Lexa has her routines and things that she likes and she doesn’t react well to change. She also read some more on Aspergers and knows that a lot of them have their habits and don’t adjust well to change. “Just give us a different medium roast, okay?” Octavia tells the barista handing her enough money to pay for both coffee’s. “Hey, I’m sure this tastes just as good.” Octavia says, turning to Lexa once the barista starts pouring their coffee. 

Lexa still doesn’t look convinced, but she nods her head silently. They wait quietly at the counter until their coffee is handed over to them and then Lexa follows Octavia wordless over to their usual table. 

At least that is the same. 

When they sit down, Octavia takes a sip of her coffee and it tastes almost exactly the same as the one that Lexa normally gets. To her anyway, but she know that it probably won’t to Lexa. Though, she notices the girl just sits it down on the table without trying it. She decides just to give her some time to relax, and see if she’ll drink it before she says anything. 

Octavia bites down on her lip and studies Lexa for a few moments. She’d wanted to ask her something, but now after the coffee incident, she’s not sure if she should bring it up. She doesn’t want to upset her even more. Though, maybe if she treads carefully, it won’t. Maybe it’ll even make her feel better because that’s what she’s hoping for. 

“So, how’s your roommate?” Octavia finally asks, trying to be casual. It’s been driving her insane, knowing about Raven and Lexa. But she’d promised Clarke that she would wait and let her come clean about it all. It’s not really Octavia’s business to share. Or maybe it is, because they’re friends but she does want to at least give Clarke the chance to say something. If she doesn’t soon though, Octavia will. And she made that clear to Clarke as well.

“She’s... the same.” Lexa says with a small shrug. Her voice is quiet and she’s still staring down at the coffee cup in front of her. 

Octavia isn’t sure if she’s still upset over the coffee or if she’s now upset over Raven. 

Maybe both. 

“Okay, well I know that you guys don’t exactly get along very well.” Octavia starts, still studying the girl carefully, wanting to be able to tell if she should stop talking or not. But so far, Lexa hasn’t really given her any reaction. “I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.” Octavia shrugs, trying to make the conversation seem light, not to upset Lexa more. “I also wanted to tell you to let me know if she does anything and I’ll personally kick her ass, yeah?” She says with a chuckle. 

Lexa slowly smiles back at her, her shoulders relaxing a bit. She moves her eyes up to look at Octavia for the first time since they’ve been in the coffee shop. But she doesn’t say anything. 

The smile is enough for Octavia though, who smiles back widely.

For a few more moments they sit in silence, and Octavia just sips on her coffee and watches the girl across from her, who still hasn’t touched hers. “You’re not going to try that are you?” Octavia asks, gesturing down towards the coffee cup. 

Lexa just fidgets in her seat and continues to stare at the cup. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to.” Octavia says, wanting her not to feel pressured to drink it. 

Lexa gives her a grateful smile, but still doesn’t say anything. Nor does she try the coffee.

“You should take it to Clarke if you’re seeing her after this. That’s what she normally drinks.” Octavia states. 

This peaks Lexa’s interest and she glances down at the cup in question. It almost makes her comfortable enough to try it, knowing that this is what Clarke likes. But she still doesn’t want to. It’s not her coffee. Besides, she can do as Octavia told her and bring it to Clarke. That’d be a nice gesture right?

But it may get cold. 

Maybe they’ll warm it back up for her. Or she can just order another one. 

Shaking her head, she pulls herself from her thoughts. She’s here with Octavia and she should focus on her. She’s seeing Clarke later tonight. “So you and Clarke seem really close.” Lexa states. 

Okay so maybe she can’t get Clarke out of her mind. 

But this has to do with Octavia too. 

Octavia just nods her head in response and takes another sip of the coffee in her hand. “I’ve known Clarke since I was about 4.” She says with a smile. We lived on the same street so we played together all the time.” She remembers. “I spent more time at her house then I did my own.” She says, sitting up a bit straighter in her chair. “Honestly, my home life wasn’t the best and Clarke and her family were always there for me. They’re my family. Clarke is my family.” She says honestly. 

“That’s really nice.” Lexa smiles. “Family means a lot. It’s kind of the most important thing to me.” She says softly. “I don’t know what I would do without my brother and sister.” 

“You have a brother?” Octavia asks curiously. She knew that Lexa has an older sister. She’s heard both Lexa and Raven talk about her on multiple occasions. But she’s never heard anything about her brother. Not that she can remember anyway. 

“Yes.” Lexa nods. 

“Now Clarke has even more people to threaten her.” Octavia laughs. Lexa doesn’t want to find it funny, but she can’t help laugh as well. Though, she actually is pretty nervous about Clarke meeting her brother and sister. They’re very protective and she doesn’t want them being mean to her or scaring her away. 

Octavia notices the look on Lexa’s face and can tell she’s caught up in her head thinking. And she assumes she knows what the girl is thinking about. 

“Hey,” she says reaching out for Lexa. “Clarke doesn’t scare easy.” She says with a smirk. 

Lexa gives her a smile but then sighs. “My brother and sister can be brutal. Especially Anya.” She says truthfully. “Lincoln isn’t as bad.”  
Octavia’s brows furrow at that. “Wait.” She says, the wheels turning in her head. “Your brother’s name is Lincoln?” She asks, brows furrowing. It couldn’t be the same Lincoln could it? 

“Yes.” Lexa nods simply.

There’s no way that it’s the same Lincoln. It has to be a coincidence right? After Lexa ending up being both her and Clarke’s mystery girl and Raven’s roommate. There is no way that this could also be the same Lincoln that she went home with and that is her brother’s best friend. That’s way too big of a coincidence.

Lexa doesn’t seem to notice how hard Octavia is thinking about something. And she has no idea that she’s thinking about her brother and that she actually knows him. “I’m going to go meet Clarke.” Lexa says, standing up. “Are you coming back to the dorm?” She asks, looking back over at the girl.

Octavia pulls herself from her thoughts and shakes her head. “No, I’m going to go and meet up with my brother.” She says, standing from her chair as well. 

“I didn’t know that you had a brother either.” Lexa states with a smile. 

Octavia just chuckles at her. “I guess we still have a lot to learn about each other.” She says, stepping closer to the girl. She pulls her into a hug, smiling when Lexa doesn’t feel as tense against her as she normally does. “You’re getting used to my hugs.” Octavia laughs. 

Lexa blushes a little and leans down to pick up her coffee cup. She gives Octavia one more smile before walking out the coffee shop door and headed over to their dorm room to see Clarke.   
\---

Clarke lets her hand pause on the painting that she’d been working on, feeling eyes on her. She glances up from her spot at her desk and notices Lexa staring at her from her bed. She sees the girl blush and quickly look back down at her textbook when she realizes that she’d been caught. It makes Clarke giggle to herself before she looks back down at the painting she’d been working on, starting back up again. Though it only takes another minute or so before she can feel Lexa’s eyes on her once again. 

It’s been happening for the past 30 minutes. They’re supposed to be working on homework assignments together, but Lexa seems to be more interested in Clarke. And the blonde can’t help but notice. Even though, Lexa is trying to be subtle about it, she’s failing pretty miserably. 

Without a word, Clarke gets up from her desk chair and moves over to her bed where Lexa is. Lexa looks up at her confused, but Clarke just moves Lexa’s books to the side a bit and makes herself comfortable next to the brunette. “Hey,” she says with a smile, bringing her hand up to cup Lexa’s neck gently, her face only centimeters away from Lexa’s. 

“Hi,” Lexa says back shakily. Her eyes automatically move down to Clarke’s lips without even thinking about it. 

“You’re staring.” Clarke says with an affectionate smile, her fingers caressing Lexa’s cheek.

Lexa blushes a deep red and looks down. “I like watching you paint.” She says simply, her eyes moving back up to look Clarke in the eyes. 

Clarke just lets out a humming noise, the smile still on her face. She looks between Lexa’s green eyes and down to her lips for a couple of seconds before leaning in and pressing their lips together. 

“And I like kissing you.” Lexa whispers as soon as Clarke pulls away. 

Clarke just giggles and pulls Lexa back into her for another kiss. She presses her body closer to Lexa’s and can feel one of the girl’s shaky hand land on her hip. She decides to try and take it a little further and lets her tongue slip out, running it lightly against Lexa’s bottom lip, wanting to deepen the kiss, but not wanting to freak her out. 

She feels Lexa start to shake a little more against her, but the girl separates her lips, allowing Clarke access. The girl’s movements are slow and unsure. Clarke can tell that she’s nervous but she tries to be as gentle and soft as she can to try and relax her a little. 

“Is this okay?” Clarke asks after a minute, pulling away just enough to rest her forehead against Lexa’s. 

Lexa just nods in response, not able to find her voice. 

Clarke smiles in response and leans in again to continue kissing Lexa. She deepens the kiss again, her tongue finding Lexa’s. And as soon as it does, they both feel fireworks. It’s something that Clarke had always thought just happened in movies, because she’d never really felt fireworks when kissing anyone before. She figured it was just a cheesy thing that movies did. But now she gets it. 

And Lexa feels it too. 

Even if she’s never made out with anyone before, so she has nothing to compare it to. She knows that this is special. 

After a couple of minutes, their kiss is interrupted by the door opening. Clarke and Lexa both tense up for a minute, but Clarke relaxes after pulling back and realizing that it’s just Octavia and not Raven walking in on them. But she can still tell that Lexa is embarrassed by being caught so she pulls away with a smile, keeping her arms around Lexa.

“Sorry, I can go.” Octavia says, her face turning a little red as well. “I was with Bellamy but he has a date or something.”

Clarke just shakes her head and giggles at her. “O, we’re just doing some homework.” She says, moving to sit up next to Lexa, a little further away, but still not much. She grabs Lexa’s books that she’d pushed out of the way and puts one back on Lexa’s lap. 

Octavia just nods her head and moves across the room to sit at her desk. She puts her backpack down on the ground and then pulls her laptop out, opening it up and putting it on her desk. She hears Clarke and Lexa giggling behind her, but she decides not to look over at them. 

However, the giggling doesn’t stop for the next 10 minutes so finally she glances behind her. She sees them cuddling again, the textbook still in Lexa’s lap, but forgotten about. Clarke is practically draped over her, her hand behind her neck, fingers wrapped her in Lexa’s hair. 

She can see them whispering to one another, but she can’t hear what they’re saying. Or more so what Clarke is saying that is making Lexa blush bright right and giggle. She’s pretty sure that she probably doesn’t want to know what Clarke is saying to her. Watching them kind of makes her want to vomit, it’s so sickeningly cute. Though, she’s kind of happy for them. 

She sees Lexa lean in to kiss Clarke, the blonde pressing her body closer to Lexa as she returns the kiss. It makes her feel a pang of jealousy in her chest. She’s moving on from the situation and honestly she’s happy for her best friend and Lexa, but seeing them like this still makes her feel a little something.

“Okay, really I need to get this project done.” Clarke finally says, pulling away from Lexa, completely. She taps her finger against Lexa’s pouting bottom lip with a smile before moving back over to her desk.

Lexa just sighs and watches Clarke for a few moments, before looking down at the textbook in her lap, deciding that she should probably try and work on some of her homework as well. Even if Clarke is really distracting. Especially when she looks all cute and concentrated on her work. 

Octavia raises a brow as she watches Lexa blatantly stare at Clarke, obviously not being able to focus on her homework. It makes her chuckle to herself, which gets Lexa’s attention, pulling her eyes away from Clarke and over to her. As soon as she notices that Octavia is staring at her, she blushes even brighter red and quickly goes back to her own homework. 

Octavia just smirks, shaking her head. “Oh, Bellamy was telling me about another party this weekend.” Octavia says, looking over to Clarke. “It’s at one of his friends houses. Murphy or something.” She says with a small shrug. She hadn’t really been paying attention when he was talking. All she heard was party and liquor. 

Clarke nods her head, looking over at Octavia. “I’m down.” She says simply. She then looks over at Lexa who was actually looking at her textbook for once. “Do you want to go?” She asks, getting up and sliding back onto the bed next to the girl. She wraps her arms around Lexa’s waist and looks up at her with puppy dog eyes.

“I’ll be at Anya’s this weekend.” She says simply. 

Clarke pouts in response and tightens her grip on Lexa. “I don’t want you go to away all weekend, again.” She says with a dramatic sigh. 

Lexa just giggles and shakes her head. “Are we going to go through this every weekend?” She asks, amused as she runs her fingers through Clarke’s blonde locks. 

“Probably.” Clarks says simply with a smile.   
\----  
Clarke glances over at Octavia who is running on the treadmill next to her and then over to Raven who is on the other side of her. They’re both running and looking ahead, completely poised and like it’s the easiest thing that they’ve ever done. 

Clarke is having trouble breathing and her legs are starting to cramp up. She can’t keep up with them. She has to slow down the machine and go back to walking. “How do you guys make this look so easy?” She asks, bending forward slightly with her hands on her hips, trying to catch her breath. 

Both of her friends glance over at her and just chuckle. “Clarke, it’s because we do this every day. You do it once a year, maybe.” Raven responds with a smirk. 

Clarke just glares at both of them. “Working out is boring.” She whines. “And hard.”

Raven laughs and stops her treadmill next to the blonde. “I’m going to the weight room. You coming?” She asks, looking between Octavia and Clarke. 

Clarke considers if for a moment and then shakes her head. That sounds like even more effort than this does. Especially with Raven as a coach. “I think I’m good here.” She answers, making Raven just grin at her. 

“Come on, Griff. I’ll get you in good shape for that hottie mystery girl of yours.” Raven winks at Clarke, making the blonde almost choke on her water.   
She lets out a few more coughs before deciding to basically drink the whole bottle down in one gulp, making both Octavia and Raven raise a brow at her. “Not that you don’t look good already.” Raven quickly adds, making Octavia laugh and Clarke just glare at her again. 

“Whatever, Reyes, just go.” Clarke says with a huff, but a hint of a smile behind it.

“I’ll be there in 10.” Octavia says, still running.

Raven nods and grabs her water bottle and towel off of the treadmill before heading down to the weight room. 

“Seriously, when are you going to tell her?” Octavia asks with a huff and it’s not because she’s out of breath from running. 

Clarke just sighs and stops walking. She leans down on her knees, trying desperately to take deep breath’s in and out, but it’s proving to be very hard for her. Maybe she really should try and work out a little more. This is just sad. “I will.” Clarke says, vaguely. She does plan on telling Raven. “I’m just waiting for the right time.” 

“There won’t be a right time.” Octavia says, slowing down her own treadmill so that she’s just walking now. “But seriously, you’re playing with fire.”   
\----  
“Lincoln, put me down!” Lexa shrieks, kicking her legs as Lincoln carries her through the wooded trail. She punches his back with her fists, and even though she’s trying really hard to look angry, she can’t hide the smile and the little giggles tumbling from her lips. 

“You said you needed a break.” He says with a shrug, putting her back down on the ground. 

Lexa frowns and folds her arms across her chest. “I just said that I wanted to stop for a second! We’ve been hiking for over an hour! That doesn’t mean carry me!” She screeches, slapping him across the arm. 

Lincoln just chuckles and tries to block himself from her hands. “Alright, alright.” He says, surrendering. He passes her the bottle of water that he’d been carrying to let her have a drink. She’s right, they’ve been at this for awhile and it’s not an easy trail. But she’s doing well. 

Though, he’s not surprised. She’s in just about as good of shape as he is. 

“Hey look.” He says, pointing out to the side at something. 

Lexa turns her head and sees a beautiful sunset with bright orange and pink colors. They’re up pretty high on a hill so the view is even better. “It’s beautiful.” She gasps, stepping closer to the edge to get a better view. 

“You should bring Clarke here.” Lincoln suggests, glancing over at his sister. 

“Clarke doesn’t really like physical activity.” She says with a giggle. 

Lincoln just smiles at her. “Well you could always carry her.” He jokes, making her glare at him. “How’s that going anyway?” He asks curiously. 

Lexa blushes at the comment and looks back out at the sky, not wanting to look at Lincoln any longer. She always gets shy when Clarke is brought up. Especially because she feels weird talking to her older brother about a girl she likes. “It’s going well.” She nods, hoping that he won’t ask anymore about it. 

“Are you guys like official yet, or what?” He asks. 

Lexa just shakes her head in response. “I don’t think so.. I mean we haven’t really talked about it.” She frowns. “I’m not sure what we are, but we’ve gone out a couple of times and we see each other almost everyday now.” She informs him with a small shrug. She’s not exactly good at the dating thing. She knows nothing about it, so she’s kind of confused about her and Clarke’s relationship. All she knows is that she likes Clarke and she likes being around her.

“Well, have you guys kissed or anything?” 

Lexa blushes even brighter and her eyes widen. She turns her head away to avoid his gaze. 

“I’m going to take that as a yes.” He chuckles at her reaction. “Have you had sex?” 

“No!” She shouts feeling like she could actually die of embarrassment right now. Even though she knows that’s not really a thing. “We haven’t... we haven’t done that.” She says quietly. 

Lincoln just grins and puts his arm around his little sisters shoulders. “Good.” He says, making her frown. “I don’t want to have to kill her.” He says jokingly, though Lexa still gives him a good glare and slaps him on the shoulder. “Stop hitting me.” He says giving her a playful glare. 

She just glares right back at him. “Stop being mean to me.” She says in response, just making him chuckle. 

“Let’s get back before it gets dark.” He says, nudging her slightly. She just shoves him right back before taking off down the trail.

\---

“Seriously, I think there is something wrong with my roommate.” Raven says with a huff as she enters Octavia and Clarke’s dorm room. Octavia is sitting at her desk on her laptop and Clarke is sitting on her bed, still working on the same project that she’d been working on the day prior. 

Octavia glances over at the blonde to see her reaction, but she notices that Clarke is still staring down at her drawing. The blonde’s hand is paused and she’s not actually working. Octavia can see the wheels turning in her head, which means she’s at least thinking about saying something to Raven. But it’s annoying that she still has yet to actually say anything. This is supposed to be her girlfriend. Or at least soon to be girlfriend. She’s not sure if she’s asked her yet.

Raven throws herself down on Octavia’s bed and glances between her two best friends who apparently aren’t paying any attention to her. She lets out an even bigger huff and folds her arms across her chest. “Like really, I think something is actually loose up here.” She says, pointing to her own head. 

“Raven-” Clarke tries to say, but Raven interrupts her and keeps talking. 

“No really! She had a freak out this morning because she was out of a certain brand of cereal. I told her just to eat a different kind, but of course she couldn’t do that. Today is Tuesday and she has to have Cheerio’s on Tuesdays.” She rants. “Like what the hell? What is the big deal? And sure, maybe I ate her Cheerio’s but, I really didn’t think she’d go all crazy and-... 

“Clarke!” Octavia finally explodes, standing up from her desk chair. It makes both girls look over at her startled. Raven looks completely confused and Clarke just looks terrified. “Are you seriously not going to stop her?’ She asks, turning to glare at her roommate. 

Raven opens her mouth to say something, but she’s too confused to comment so she looks over at Clarke to see if she’s going to respond. But the blonde is doing the same action with her mouth, opening it and closing it. 

“I tried... I-... 

“No! You said her name once and then let her go on a rant! This is supposed to be your girlfriend and you can’t even defend her!” Octavia screams, making Raven’s brows furrow. “Seriously Clarke, I understand you were nervous about telling her, but I never thought you’d just sit here while she talks so much shit about this girl you’re supposedly head over heels for.” 

“Octavia.. I-...” She starts to say but then stops. Octavia is right, she’s being a coward and a terrible girlfriend. 

“Hold up.” Raven finally says, standing up from the bed. She blinks a few times, her head shaking back and forth as she tries to wrap her head around all of this. “My roommate is your mystery girl?” She asks, completely exasperated and not believing it. “You’re saying that my freak of a roommate is-...

“Stop fucking calling her that!” Clarke shouts, moving to stand right in front of Raven’s face, who just looks shocked by her outburst. Clarke isn’t usually one to shout or get into people’s faces. Unless you just really piss her off. “She’s the best Goddamn person that I know. She’s ten times better than you so shut the fuck up.” She says, in a dangerously low voice. 

Raven is about to say something but Clarke spins around and heads for the door. 

“Where are you going?” Octavia asks, not believing that Clarke is just going to leave like this and not say more to Raven. 

“I’m going to check on my girlfriend and make sure that she’s okay because that’s more important to me than yelling at my ass of a friend.” She says, looking between the both of them. Without another word, she opens the dorm room door and and walks out, letting it slam behind her. 

“What the fuck.” Raven says, still confused by what is going on. She spins around to look at Octavia who still looks pissed as well. “You knew about this too?”

Octavia’s anger morphs into guilt a little and her tense shoulders drop a little. “I just found out a few days ago.” She admits. “I told her to tell you, but she was afraid to. It wasn’t my place to say anything.” Octavia says hoping that Raven will understand, but she’s sure that she won’t. 

She wouldn’t. 

“I can’t believe this.” Raven exclaims. “I fucking knew that this would happen when we came here.” She says, shaking her head. “You guys are slowly pulling away from me and becoming all whatever the fuck. 

“Raven, you know we love you. We’re not going to abandon you-

“Just leave me alone.” and without another word, she heads for the door, but Octavia stops her. 

“Look, I know you’re mad, but please just stay here and let Clarke check on Lexa.” Octavia pleads with her. After what Raven had said about Lexa, she’s worried about her as well. And the last thing she probably needs is getting in the middle of a fight with Raven or watching Clarke and Raven fight. 

“I’m not going to my room.” Raven says, ripping her arm out of Octavia’s grip. “I don’t want to see either of them. Or you.” She says in a low voice, before heading out the door. 

Octavia just sighs, staring at the door. She knew this was going to happen. 

Fucking Clarke. 

\---

Clarke heads a couple of doors down and stops right in front of the door. She’s worked up and she knows that she needs to calm herself down before she goes in there to see Lexa. If she had as bad of a morning as Raven claims, she’s not entirely sure what she’s going to find on the other side of the door. And her being all worked up isn’t going to help Lexa. 

Taking in a deep breath, she calms herself down and knocks gently. After a minute or two the door never opens and she doesn’t hear anyone approaching. It makes her frown a little, because she’s worried about her. Though, she could not even be in her room and she could be completely fine. Deciding to just go for it, she turns the knob and realizes that it’s unlocked. Which isn’t odd for Raven to not have locked it behind her. 

Though, she would have expected Lexa to be the type to get up and lock it after she leaves. 

She walks inside and spots Lexa standing at her desk with about 5 boxes of cereal lining it. “Lexa?” She asks quietly, not wanting to startle the girl since she’d walked into her room without being let in. She notices the girl frantically looking inside of the boxes and then writing something down. She is even pouring them into a measuring cup. It confuses Clarke. “Lexa?” She asks again, stepping closer to the girl. 

But the girl still hasn’t seemed to notice her. Or at least she’s not acknowledging her. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” She asks, gently putting a hand on Lexa’s arm. “Are you okay?” 

Lexa still continues doing what she’s doing, still seeming unfazed by Clarke’s presence. “I ran out of Cheerio’s. I-... I buy just enough to last me until grocery day, I never run out.” she says frantically as she continues to count out how much cereal she has left. “My roommate ate it.” She frowns. “I asked her not to and she did anyway and now I have to see what else she ate and how much I have so I don’t run out again and-... 

“Hey,” Clarke says in a calming voice, putting both of her hands on Lexa’s arms, from behind her. She rubs them up and down gently, trying to be comforting and calm her down. “It’s okay,” she says gently.

“No!” Lexa shouts, startling Clarke a little and making her jump behind her. She can see the distress on Lexa’s face and she doesn’t know what to do. This is different than the other day with the fire alarm. Lexa is anxious and tense and looks angry. She seems like a time bomb about to go off at any minute and it scares Clarke a little. “It’s not okay!” she says, still sounding distressed although, she’s not as loud as she had been at first.

She continues, measuring out the cereal’s and counting them out. And though, Clarke doesn’t really understand it, she knows that it’s something that Lexa needs to do. “Okay, alright.” She says softly, letting her arms drop from Lexa’s body. “Do you want me to help you?” She asks, not knowing what else she can do. 

Lexa just shakes her head no, though. “Okay.” Clarke nods. “Well, I’ll wait for you to finish.” She says and then steps away to sit on Lexa’s bed. She glances over at Raven’s things and lets out a sigh. For a moment she’d forgotten about that drama. She knows that she’ll have to deal with it soon, but for now she wants to focus on Lexa. 

She turns her attention back to the brunette and watches as she frantically continues measuring and writing things down on a piece of paper. It makes her think briefly about how hard it must be for Lexa. To have such high anxiety and to have such distress over little things like this. She just wants to wrap her up in her arms and hide her away from the world. She doesn’t like her being distressed like this. 

“Lexa, have you eaten today?” Clarke asks, not sure how long Lexa has been at this. It obviously happened at breakfast time and it’s now almost dinner time. “Lexa.” She says a little bit more firmly seeing how Lexa wasn’t going to answer her. 

Finally the girl just shakes her head. “I ran out of Cheerio’s.” She says simply. “I always have Cheerio’s on Tuesday” She says as though it’s obvious. 

“Okay, well it’s dinner time now. What do you have for dinner? We can go get something? Or even just take a quick trip to the cafeteria.” She suggests, standing up and walking back over to the brunette. 

“She ate my apple cinnamon Special K.” Lexa frowns, once again ignoring Clarke. “I only have 2 more bowls left.” 

Clarke steps closer and wraps her arms around Lexa’s waist. She feels her tense up a little at the contact, but she continues doing what she’s doing so Clarke decides it’s okay. “How about this?” Clarke starts and gently squeezes Lexa to make sure she’s listening to her. “How about we go have some dinner and then we can run by the store and get you some more cereal and whatever else you need.” 

“But it’s not grocery day.” Lexa frowns and says as if it were obvious. 

Clarke almost laughs at how cute Lexa is being, but she doesn’t because she knows it’s a serious thing for Lexa. “Maybe not, but how about you live on the adventurous side with me.” She says into the girl’s ear, squeezing her hips. 

Lexa’s frown deepens, but she stops doing what she’s doing, actually considering Clarke’s offer. But she doesn’t say anything. 

Clarke pulls Lexa a little closer to her and nuzzles her face into Lexa’s neck. “Come on,” She prompts her. “I have somewhere else that I want to take you anyway.” She adds, peaking Lexa’s interest. 

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise.” She just about hums into Lexa’s neck before placing a kiss against the soft skin. It sends chills up Lexa’s spine and she momentarily forgets how to talk. And she surprisingly forgot about the task she’d been working on before Clarke came over, successfully distracting her. It’s rare that someone can distract her from things like that when she gets started and is stressed or upset. 

“I don’t like surprises.”

Clarke lets out another hum accepting that. The girl has already had a tough day, she doesn’t want to make it worse. “Okay well there is a flower shop a few blocks from campus. I saw it a couple of days ago when I went to have lunch with my friends.” She informs her. “I was going to go and just get you some flowers, but then I figured you’d like to go yourself. The place is huge. They have aisles and aisles of flowers.” She tells her, and she can feel Lexa relaxing against her with every word. 

“That sounds wonderful.” Lexa admits with a small smile. 

“Good. Get some shoes on and we’ll go.” Clarke tells her, backing away to let her get ready to leave. “And decide what you want to get for dinner.” 

\----

Clarke watches as Lexa walks around the flower shop. She can see the smile on the girl’s face, but she still doesn’t seem as happy as Clarke would have thought. She just seems off, and Clarke knows that she’s still feeling off from this morning’s activities. It makes Clarke frown, thinking about how something so small like that can have such an effect and practically ruin the girl’s entire day. 

With a sigh, she walks up behind Lexa who is busy with some purple flowers in front of her. Clarke isn’t sure what they are, but she’s pretty sure that Lexa knows. “Are you feeling better?” She asks as she slides her arms around Lexa’s waist from behind. Just as she figured, she can feel Lexa tense up, but the girl doesn’t make any move to get out of her embrace. If anything, Clarke feels her lean back into it slightly. 

“Yeah,” Lexa says quietly, nodding her head a little. “Thank you Clarke. This place is wonderful.” She says, turning in the girl’s arms. She pulls a flower out of the bunch she’d had in her hand and holds it out to Clarke. 

Clarke lets go of Lexa with one hand, but keeps the other around the girl’s waist. She takes the orange flower that Lexa is handing her and smiles. “A Lily.” She says with a smile. She’d told Lexa that they were her favorite on their first date. 

Lexa just nods. “The orange ones mean passion.” She tells her with a shy smile, looking up to meet Clarke’s eyes. 

Clarke gives her a smile and then her eyes drop down to look at Lexa’s lips without her even thinking about it. She reaches up and cups the back of Lexa’s neck, pulling her into a kiss.

Lexa is caught off guard by the action. It’s not like they haven’t kissed multiple times by now, but she’s never kissed her in a public spot. But it only takes her a few seconds to relax and kiss Clarke back. It still amazes her how good kissing Clarke feels. She’d never kissed anyone before but she’s pretty sure that kissing Clarke is better than kissing anyone. Her lips are so soft and gentle against hers. It sends tingles all throughout her body. 

After a few moments, Clarke pulls away, not because she wants to, but because they’re in a public place and they probably shouldn’t be full on making out in the middle of the flower shop.

“Oh, Clarke, look! It’s Dove Orchids!” She shouts, pulling away from the girl, already distracted enough by the flowers to not be upset that Clarke had ended the kiss. 

It makes Clarke giggle affectionately at her as she follows Lexa over to the flowers she’d been talking about. Or more so she gets dragged over by Lexa, who is still holding her hand.

“Look, they look like doves in the middle.” She says excitedly, wanting Clarke to look. The blonde just watches her with an affectionate look in her eyes as Lexa excites over the flowers. Her eyes are lit up and the smile on her face is probably one of the biggest ones that Clarke has seen on her face. Her fingers gently ghost over the petals so carefully so that she won’t touch them and harm them. 

She looks completely adorable.

“Be my girlfriend.” Clarke suddenly blurts out. As soon as she realizes she’d said it, her eyes widen. 

Crap. 

Lexa’s eyes are wide too, and she just about drops the collection of flowers in her hands. The look on her face, just makes Clarke even more nervous. She hadn’t meant to do it like this. She was going to take her out and do something romantic and ask her in the right way. Not just blurt it out like this. She’d just been so overcome with affection, watching her run around like a kid in a candy shop, it just came out. “Lexa... I’m sorry...” she says quietly. “I mean, I wanted to ask you and I want you to be my girlfriend, I just hadn’t meant to ask you like this and-

“Yes.” Lexa says simply, a smile forming on her face. 

Clarke’s eyes widen again and she quickly shuts her mouth. “Really?” She asks, not quite believing it. 

“Really.” Lexa smiles in return. 

Clarke lets out a relieved breath, her shoulders relaxing like a huge weight had been lifted off of her. Without saying another word, she reaches out and grabs Lexa’s hands pulling her closer. “Get over here and kiss me.” She says with a grin. 

Lexa giggles in response and moves closer to Clarke, doing just as she’s told.

\---

As Clarke and Lexa are making their way back to the dorms, Clarke starts to get nervous. She knows that she’s going to have to deal with Raven now, and that she can’t avoid it anymore. Either she will be in their dorm still or she’ll be in hers and Lexa’s and she’ll probably say something to Lexa. 

And honestly she’s more worried about that. 

She doesn’t want to cause Lexa anymore drama or upset.

“Lexa, I need to tell you something.” Clarke says, stopping and making Lexa stop with her, by tugging on her hand. 

Lexa just frowns and looks at Clarke with concern. “Do you... are you having second thoughts about being my girlfriend?” She asks worriedly. 

Clarke’s eyes widen at this and she shakes her head furiously. “God, no!” She exclaims. “I am... I don’t even have words to describe how happy I am about that, Lex.” She says honestly with a genuine smile. 

“Then what is it?” She asks, still nervous. It made her happy to hear that Clarke hadn’t changed her mind about wanting to be her girlfriend. But the serious look on her face is still a little fearful. 

Clarke clears her throat and looks down at the ground, not able to look into Lexa’s green eyes. She really hopes that Lexa isn’t going to be the one regretting their relationship after this. “Lexa... your roommate.. Raven.” She says and then stops, letting out a sigh. She can’t do this. “She’s one of my best friends.” Clarke finally says, and then looks up at Lexa, looking extremely guilty. 

But Lexa’s face is emotionless for the most part. She looks mostly confused, but Clarke is still having a hard time trying to figure out how she feels and how upset she is by the news. It’s also not helping that she hasn’t said anything. 

“I only found out maybe about two weeks ago.” She says and then winced, realizing how long that actually is. It hadn’t seemed that long while it was happening. “I was worried about you finding out, I knew you guys didn’t get along and I didn’t want you to not like me.. I also didn’t want her to be upset because I really like you and if my best friend didn’t like you then that’d be really upsetting and-... 

She realizes that she’s rambling and that Lexa still hasn’t made a move to do anything, so she stops talking. Maybe Lexa just needs to process this for a minute. It’s kind of a lot to take in. 

“Lexa.. please say something...” Clarke practically begs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm sorry that took 84 years!!
> 
> I'm not sure how I feel about the chapter or if I lost my mojo for this.. so I guess give me you guys' honest opinion on it! It'd be greatly appreciated!


	11. Chapter 11

Clarke stares at Lexa waiting on her to say something but she doesn’t. She just stands there staring at Clarke like she’s trying to process it all. And Clarke gets that because it’s a lot to take in, but the silence is kind of freaking her out. “Lexa... please....” She begs once again, needing the girl to say something.

And after a couple more seconds, Lexa stands up a bit straighter and Clarke does as well, preparing herself for Lexa to finally say something. Though the girl just nods her head and meets Clarke’s eyes, snapping out of the trance that she’d been in. “Okay.” She says simply. She then spins around and walks into the building, leaving Clarke to just stare after her. 

It takes Clarke just a second to snap out of her confusion as well, before she’s running after her girlfriend. She catches up to her in the dorm hallway and walks next to her silently, waiting to see if Lexa will say anything else. 

But she doesn’t. 

They walk into the dorm room without a word. Clarke looks around and is relieved when she sees no sign of Raven. She wants to make sure that Lexa is okay right now and she can’t deal Raven too. Especially if Raven tries to start a fight, before Clarke can fully talk to Lexa about all of this.

Clarke looks over at Lexa hesitantly, not really sure if she’s going to say more. She’s obviously confused by Lexa’s reaction, but maybe the girl is still just in shock. Maybe she needs more time to process it. Especially after the day she’s had. Maybe this was all just too much.

Because she should definitely be mad right? 

Especially with how she ended up finding out. Clarke should have told her a long time ago. And she shouldn’t have just blurted it out, especially right after such a perfect evening. But she didn’t want her to find out by Raven either. That probably would have made it way worse. 

“Lexa...” she says quietly, moving across the room slowly and stands next to Lexa who is unloading the grocery bags and putting everything out on her desk. “I’m so sorry...” she says regretfully. Still feeling like they should talk about this. They weren’t really going to just leave it at okay, right? 

She was expecting yelling. And honestly, the silence is scaring her more than yelling would.

“Why are you sorry?” Lexa asks, finally looking over at Clarke. 

This makes the blonde very confused. She knows that sometimes Lexa doesn’t pick up on some things or isn’t good at reading people and emotions, but she’s pretty sure this should be obvious. “For not telling you about Raven...” she says with a sigh. “I mean, I haven’t known for very long that she’s your roommate, but I should have said something as soon as I found out.”

“It’s okay, Clarke.” Lexa says simply. 

Clarke eyes her skeptically because she doesn’t really understand how calm Lexa seems about all of this. She’s not really sure if she expected Lexa to get really angry or maybe just hurt but, she expected some sort of a reaction. Unless she’s just trying to cover it up. Which isn’t very Lexa like. She’s not very good at lying. “Lexa, I’ve been lying to you.” She says, completely confused as to why Lexa doesn’t seem upset in the least bit. 

“No you haven’t.” 

“Well omission of the truth is still lying.” Clarke returns, but Lexa just shakes her head. 

“No, it’s not.” 

Clarke sighs, but doesn’t say anything. She’s not really sure why it’s upsetting her so much. She should be happy that Lexa isn’t mad at her. It’s just weird and very anticlimactic. It doesn’t feel right. But maybe that’s just her guilty conscious. She feels like she deserves to get yelled at or to get some sort of bad outcome from all of this. 

But nothing. 

She looks up and sees Lexa starting to put away the cereal that they’d bought at the store. She’s quietly putting them in a perfect order on top of her shelf as if nothing had happened. 

This reaction is definitely scaring her more than yelling. 

Clarke chews on her lip and just watches her for a moment, before deciding that she still wants to talk about it. “Okay, well even if I didn’t lie to you, I knew that you guys were having problems and I should have stuck up for you. I shouldn’t have just done nothing when I knew that she was treating you so badly.” She says, knowing that Lexa should at least be upset by this. She’s supposed to be her girlfriend and she’s been letting her friend bully her. 

“I don’t need you to protect me, Clarke.” She says, rolling her eyes a bit. 

Well, that’s some sort of a reaction. But still not what she’s expecting. 

“Lexa, you’re my girlfriend it’s my job to protect you- 

“No!” She shouts, spinning around, startling Clarke. “It’s not your job to protect me, Clarke. I don’t need protecting!” She says, growing angry. 

There’s the anger she was expecting. 

“Anya protects me, Lincoln protects me, I’ve been protected my whole life! I’m not a child!” She shouts. “I can take care of myself!” 

Clarke frowns and stands up as well, approaching Lexa hesitantly. “Lexa... I’m sorry,” she says softly. “I know you’re not a child. That’s not what I’m saying.” She says, trying to sooth the girl, but Lexa steps back from her, not letting her get too close or have any contact with her. 

“Everyone treats me like I’m 5.” She says shaking her head, her brows furrowing. “I have Aspergers I’m not... I’m not a child and I-... I don’t want you to look at me that way. Like I’m a kid and like I need looking after and protecting. I just-.. I just want to be your girlfriend.” She says, with a heavy sigh, looking up at Clarke, her eyes vulnerable. 

“Lexa...” Clarke says softly, trying once again to move closer to Lexa, and this time the girl lets her, but she still looks tense and upset. “I don’t think you are any of those things, I promise.” She says, hoping the girl will believe her. “I mean... maybe I do get a little more protective because of it sometimes or over think certain things that I say or do around you...” she admits with a sigh. “But, I don’t think you’re a child and I don’t think there is anything wrong with you.” She says sternly. “And honestly, I’d still feel the need to be protective even if you didn’t have Aspergers. That’s just what girlfriends do. Or at least, in my opinion they do.” She says honestly with a small shrug. 

She reaches out for Lexa and thankfully the girl doesn’t back away from her touch this time. It relieves Clarke a little and she gives Lexa a small smile as she rubs her hands comfortingly up and down Lexa’s arms. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” Clarke says, trying desperately to get Lexa not upset with her anymore. She was expecting a fight when Lexa found out about Raven, but she didn’t expect this fight.

“I want you to treat me like you would any other person that you’re dating.” She says with a look that almost looks like a pout. “I already get babied by my siblings, I don’t want to be treated like that by you too.” She explains once again. “I actually kind of feel normal around you. I don’t feel like such a freak when I’m with you, but when you-

“You’re not a freak.” Clarke interrupts, giving the girl a disapproving look. “But, I get what you’re saying.” she adds with a sigh, before Lexa could argue with her. “Look, I promise that I will try and not treat you any differently.” She starts, and can already see Lexa frowning. “I’ll try, okay but I can’t promise that I won’t slip up and probably piss you off.” she says, with a small chuckle, thankfully earning a small smile from Lexa. “But it’s just because I don’t want to see you upset or hurt and I know that certain things.. Trigger you.” She says, hoping that Lexa won’t get mad at her for pointing that out. Plus, she’s not really sure how to word everything. She wasn’t really prepared for this conversation. 

Lexa nods her head, because she can’t exactly argue with Clarke on that. As much as she doesn’t want to be different, she is. “Even if I get upset it’s not the end of the world Clarke.” Lexa points out. “That’s the point. I don’t want you protecting me against everything. I’m a big girl.” 

Clarke just smiles at her in response. “You’re right. Though, I still can’t promise you that it’ll be easy for me to stop being so protective. But if it helps, that has nothing to do with you having Aspergers, that’s just me caring about you.” She says honestly. 

Lexa bites down on her lip, trying to hide the smile that’s forming on her face. She wants to still be mad, but she can’t seem to be. “I care about you too.” She finally says shyly. 

Now it’s Clarke’s turn to try and hide the giant smile on her face. “Come here.” She says, before pulling Lexa into her and connecting their lips. 

\---

Clarke and Lexa get interrupted from their makeout session that they’d ended up moving over to the bed when Clarke’s phone chimes from it’s spot on Lexa’s nightstand. She groans against Lexa’s lips, who just giggles in response. “I’m going to ignore it.” Clarke mumbles, leaning back over to capture Lexa’s lips again. 

Lexa doesn’t protest as she feels Clarke’s fingers tangling in her hair and she deepens the kiss. Though after a couple of more minutes, the phone goes off again. And this time Clarke pulls away with a sigh. 

“I should probably check it.” She says ruefully. She’s got a lot going on with her friends right now and it’s probably one of them. Honestly, she probably shouldn’t be here making out with Lexa. She should be checking on Raven and trying to fix all of her problems with her friends. 

But she’s an avoider. 

Plus, she just really likes making out with her girlfriend. 

“It’s Octavia.” She says, sitting up on Lexa’s bed to read the text. Lexa does the same and sits up next to her.

Octavia: (9:30pm) - How is Lexa? 

Octavia: (9:34pm) - Clarke, come on! I’m going to come over there if you don’t respond. 

“She’s checking on you.” Clarke informs her, making Lexa frown a bit. “She was there when Raven found out that you’re the one that I’ve been dating. She hadn’t known either and O was worried how you’d react to it all.” She further explains. 

Lexa gives Clarke a small smile and shrugs her shoulders a little. “I’m fine.” She says simply. “But wait, how did Raven react? Was she mad?” She asks, looking a little worried. For some reason she’d failed to think about her roommate and how she was taking all of this. And how that could affect her.

Clarke: (9:36pm) - She’s fine. How’s Raven? 

Clarke puts her phone down after sending the quick message to calm Octavia down. She turns towards Lexa and sighs. “She wasn’t happy about it.” Clarke says honestly. “But, I didn’t really stay to talk to her about it. She mentioned you being upset and I just stormed out to come check on you.” She says, making Lexa smile a little at her thoughtfulness. “I haven’t heard from her since.” 

“She’s going to hate me even more now.” Lexa mumbles as she starts to play with her hands nervously in her lap. 

Clarke reaches over and grabs one of Lexa’s hands, holding it tight. “Hey, I won’t let her take this out on you. She’s mad at me.” Clarke tells her sternly. “I know you don’t want protecting, but I’m not just going to sit here and let my friend treat you like crap when really she’s just angry at me.” She tells her, knowing the conversation they’d just had. “I’ll talk to her and try and get this all sorted out.” 

Lexa doesn’t respond, she just keeps her eyes downcast as she chews on her lip. Clarke can feel her hand shaking a bit in her own and it just makes her hold it tighter. 

“Lexa...” Clarke says softly, trying to duck her head to catch her eyes. But Lexa doesn’t seem like she’s even listening to Clarke anymore. She’s caught up in her head, Clarke can see the wheels turning and the girl looks more nervous by the second. “Lexa, it’s okay.” She tries soothing. 

“I want to talk to Anya.” She finally says with a shaky voice. “I want Anya.” 

“Okay.” Clarke says, quickly jumping off the bed and springing into action. “Do you want to call her? Or I can get your computer and you can skype her.” Clarke asks, getting a little anxious herself. She just wants to make Lexa comfortable. 

“Skype.” Lexa mumbles. 

Clarke just nods and quickly grabs Lexa’s computer from her desk and opens it up, sitting it in front of the girl. She watches as Lexa types in her password with shaky hands and then opens up the skype app. She presses the button to call Anya and both girls sit there patiently, waiting on her to answer the call. 

Clarke sits behind the computer, because she’s not really sure if she should be on the camera and a part of the conversation. She honestly doesn’t even know if she should be in the room or if she should give Lexa some privacy. But she also doesn’t want to leave her. Not when she’s clearly upset. Even if she is about to talk to her sister.

Anya finally answers the call, a smile on her face. Though it quickly fades when she takes in her sister’s features. “What’s wrong, Lex?” She asks, concerned. “What happened?” 

Lexa just looks at her sister, not really knowing what to say. She’d just wanted to see her. She always makes her feel better. But now she doesn’t know what to say. This whole thing is kind of complicated and honestly a little overwhelming. Especially after realizing that it involves not only her and Clarke, but Raven and Octavia too. They’re all connected and it’s all become a big mess. 

“Lexa, talk to me.” Anya says, growing more worried by the second. 

“Hey, Anya.” Clarke says, trying to hide her nerves as she moves to Lexa’s side and comes into the picture. She’s never met the big sister before and this isn’t exactly how she wanted it to happen, but she felt the need to help Lexa out. 

Plus, Anya looked like she was about to have a heart attack if Lexa didn’t start talking and explaining things. That or get up and drive all the way here just murder whoever made her sister upset. 

Which could still be a possibility. 

“Clarke?” Anya questions. She’d seen Clarke before, but she’d never met her like this before. “What did you do?” She asks, glaring at the blonde. 

Clarke’s eyes widen at the death glare she’s receiving from this girl. If looks could kill, she’d definitely be dead right now. 

This girl is intimidating. 

“I didn’t-...” she starts to say, but then realizes this is kind of all her fault. “Her roommate is one of my best friends and Raven found out about me and Lexa and she’s not happy about it. Lexa is just a little worried...” Clarke says, trying to give Anya the short version of all the confusion. 

“Raven is your best friend?” Anya asks unbelievingly. “That girl is... She’s been awful to my sister.” She states and Clarke chews on her lip, because she knows. “And what the hell have you done about it?” She asks accusingly. 

“Look, I’m sorry.. Okay? I know that I’ve been a shitty girlfriend, but I’m here now. And I’m going to do everything I can do protect her.” She says, and then glances over at Lexa hoping that she wouldn’t get upset at that comment. They’d just had a fight about how she doesn’t need protection, but she also wants to assure Anya that she’s going to. “I won’t let Raven treat her that way anymore, I promise.” 

Anya is still glaring at Clarke, but doesn’t say anything to her. Instead, she moves her gaze back over to her sister, the glare turning into a soft look. “Lex, talk to me.” She says softly. 

Clarke reaches over and grabs Lexa’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, wanting to try and help comfort her. Anya notices the action, but decides to not comment on it. She’s not sure how she feels about Clarke now, but she will save that conversation for later. Lexa is already upset. 

“I’m okay.” Lexa finally says quietly. “I just wanted to see you.” She says, looking up at her sister. 

Anya smiles softly at her. “Okay lil one.” She says affectionately. Lexa rolls her eyes, because she hates that nickname. But she’s given up on trying to get her and Lincoln to stop calling her that. “I’m right here.” 

Clarke remembers her phone and that she’d been texting Octavia. She grabs it off the nightstand to see another text from the girl. 

Octavia: (9:38pm) - I don’t know. She stormed out of here a while ago. Has she not come back over there? 

Clarke: (9:46pm) - No, we haven’t seen her. I’m sure she’s fine. 

Octavia: (9:47pm) - She was really upset Clarke. And she won’t answer her phone or reply to my messages.

Clarke: (9:48pm) - Just give her some space. She’ll come back. 

Clarke puts her phone down again with a sigh and glances back over at Lexa, who’d finally started talking to her sister. Though they weren’t talking about anything to do with the situation or her being upset. Anya had changed the subject and started telling her a funny story about their cat. 

Clarke is just happy to see a smile back on the girl’s face. 

But now, Clarke can’t stop thinking about Raven. 

She needs to find her. 

“Hey, are you okay if I go for a bit?” Clarke asks quietly, when there is a brief pause in her and Anya’s conversation. “I’m going to go talk to Octavia.” She lets her know, keeping her voice low though she’s pretty sure that Anya still hears her. Which is also why she didn’t want to bring up Raven. 

Lexa just gives her a small smile and nods her head.”I’m okay.” She says, and Clarke actually believes it. Talking to Anya always helps. 

“Okay, let me know if Raven comes back.” She tells her, moving to get off the bed. 

“Clarke.” Lexa sighs. 

“I know you don’t need protecting.” Clarke returns, with a small huff. “I’m just worried, okay?” 

Lexa wants to protest some more but she sticks with just rolling her eyes at the girl to let her know she’s still not happy about it. 

But Clarke doesn’t mind, she just smiles fondly at the girl, finding her pouting adorable. “I’ll come back over later if you’re still up.” She says, leaning over towards the girl. She places a kiss on Lexa’s lips and only remembers Anya when she sees Lexa’s face turn bright red. Clarke just chuckles nervously and looks back over at the screen to see Anya staring at her with another glare. “Um, it was nice to sort of meet you, Anya.” She says awkwardly. 

Anya just raises a perfectly manicured brow at her.

Clearing her throat, Clarke stands up straight and looks back over at Lexa. “Bye Lexa.” 

“Bye, Clarke.”

Lexa looks back over at her sister after Clarke leaves the room. She just laughs nervously when she sees the look that her sister is giving her. It’s not a good one. “You guys seem...comfortable.” 

“Anya...” Lexa says in a warning tone. “She’s my girlfriend...” 

“I know.” Anya says simply. “It’s just one thing to hear you talking about a girlfriend and another to see you kissing someone.” She says honestly. 

“What? You think I wouldn’t kiss my girlfriend?” She asks, getting a little frustrated by the girl. “Our relationship is just like any that you’d be in.” She says, getting a little defensive. 

“Hey calm down lil one.” Anya says with a small chuckle. “I’m not trying to say anything like that. I’m just saying that I’m not used to seeing you with a girlfriend and it’s weird. Also, you’re my baby sister and I don’t exactly want to see someone kissing you. It kind of made me want to punch her.” She says honestly with a small smirk. 

Lexa rolls her eyes at her sister, but there is a small smile on her face. 

“I’m glad that you’re happy and that you found someone Lex. Really, I am.” She tells her sincerely. 

“Thank you.” 

“But, I still don’t like her.” She says, the scowl returning to her face. 

“Anya.” Lexa huffs, crossing her arms across her chest. 

\---

Clarke walks into her dorm room and sees Octavia on the floor doing push ups, pretty intensely. Clarke just sighs and closes the door. It’s not weird to see Octavia working out, but Clarke can also tell a difference in her normal routine and the workout she does when she’s stressed out or upset. 

“O.” She says, bending down to get closer to Octavia’s level. She pulls the earbud out of the girl’s ear and gives her a stern look. “Did you hear from Raven?”

Octavia just pulls away from her, turning over onto her back where she starts to do crunches. “No.” She says simply, then goes back to breathing deeply in and out as she continues her workout. 

“Octavia can you please stop and talk to me.” Clarke says with a sigh. 

Octavia ignores her for a few more moments and then stops, lying back on the floor and staring at the ceiling. “Our family is falling apart.” Octavia says simply, glancing over at the blonde. 

“Hey, no it’s not.” Clarke says, moving to sit closer to her best friend. “Family’s fight, O.” She says with a small shrug. “But we’ll get through it. We’ll be fine.” 

“We’re lying to each other and hiding things. Now we’re all mad at each other. This isn’t us, Clarke.” She says with sad eyes. It breaks Clarke’s heart a little, seeing her so upset by all of this. And it’s her fault. She’s the one tearing this family apart. If she hadn’t been such a coward. “We were perfect before we came here.” 

Clarke scoots closer to Octavia and gently starts to run her fingers through the girl’s hair. “Hey, we’re growing up and things are changing. Things are going to get harder now but it doesn’t mean that we aren’t still a family and that we don’t all still love each other.” She tries to explain, hoping that it’ll help make Octavia feel better. “College just gets stressful with all the homework and studying and living on our own for the first time...”

“I wish we were back in high school and everything was easy again.” She says with a pout. 

Clarke smirks at her and shakes her head. “You hated high school.” She says matter of fact.

Octavia just huffs in response and rolls her eyes. “It’s not my fault everyone there was stupid.”

Clarke just chuckles at her best friend. “It’s not their fault that you were an emo kid who hated everyone.” Clarke retorts, raising a brow at the girl. 

“Yeah well, it’s better than being the Prom Queen.” She returns, glaring up at the blonde. “How were we even friends in high school?” She asks, slightly amused but mostly confused. They were very different people in high school. And they still are, but somehow it works. All three of them were from different cliques in high school. But they still remained friends, regardless.

“Because we’re a family.” Clarke says simply. 

Octavia lets out a hum, seeming to accept that answer. But after a second, she frowns again. “I’m still mad at you.” Octavia says, looking up at Clarke who is still hovering over her, playing with her hair. 

Clarke sighs, but nods her head. “Understandably.” She says. “Look, I was an idiot and I’m sorry, okay?” She says regretfully. “I feel like shit, believe me. I should have said something a long time ago and it shouldn’t have taken you to say something to finally get me to speak up and defend her.” She says with a heavy sigh. “But, I want to try and be better. I want to stop running away and avoiding all of my problems. I’ve been doing it all my life and it obviously just makes everything worse.”

“How’s Lexa?” Octavia asks, deciding not to respond to Clarke about the other stuff yet. She is still mad at her and wants to be mad. She’ll forgive her in time, but right now she wants to still be mad about it. She’d rather worry about Lexa. 

“She’s fine.” Clarke nods. “She started to panic a little, but we called her big sister, Anya and she calmed her down a lot. They were still talking when I left.” She explains. “Surprisingly, she wasn’t that mad about Raven.” She says, her brows furrowing, because she’s still a little confused about it. “She got upset when I started talking about protecting her though. She says that everyone treats her like a child and she doesn’t want that.” She explains. 

Octavia nods in response, taking everything in. She’s just happy that Lexa is okay. She’s been pretty worried about her as well every since Clarke went to check on her. She’d wanted to go check on her too, but knew that she should just let Clarke do that. It’s more her place. 

“I can’t even imagine what she goes through on a daily basis.” Clarke says honestly, thinking about her girlfriend. “She’s been through so much. And it’s just so hard for me not to want to protect her all the time and protect her from the world.” She admits. “But, I know that all she wants is to be treated normally.” 

Octavia sits up next to Clarke and looks across at the blonde. “I get it.” She nods. “Lexa is an amazing girl and I can easily see why you’d want to just wrap her up and hide her away from the world. The world is harsh.” She says, moving her eyes down to the floor. 

“We’ve kind of all been through alot.” Clarke sighs. And she’s not talking about the fight they’re in now. They’ve all been through a lot growing up. Maybe not as bad as what Lexa has or someone else for that matter, but Clarke isn’t one to compare bad experiences or just who had it worse.

Octavia is right, life is harsh.

Octavia just nods her head silently. “We should go look for Raven.” She suggests. 

“I was going to say the same.” Clarke nods, standing up from the floor.

\---

Lexa looks over at her phone as she hears it going off. She assumes it’s Clarke because really the only person that would text her would be Anya or Lincoln but she’s still on skype with Anya and it’s too late for Lincoln to be texting her. “Sorry,” she says to Anya before reaching for her phone and looking at the message. 

Clarke: (10:41pm) - Hey, I’m sorry if I woke you. We’re out looking for Raven. She didn’t come back to the dorm did she?

“Is that Clarke?” Anya asks, though she already knows the answer. 

Lexa nods her head in response before typing out a reply to her girlfriend. 

Lexa: (10:42pm) - You didn’t. I’m still talking with Anya. And I haven’t seen Raven.

“What’s she saying?” Anya asks, being nosey. 

Lexa puts her phone down and glances up at her sister. “Her and Octavia are looking for Raven. She was asking if she’d come back here.” she says with a small shrug. “I guess Raven was pretty upset as well, when she found out about me and Clarke.” 

Anya’s brows furrow at that. “Wait,” she says, putting her hand up. “Octavia, your coffee girl is friends with Clarke as well?” She asks, confused. 

“She’s her roommate and they’ve been best friends since they were little.” She replies simply. 

“So let me get this straight. Clarke, Octavia and Raven are all best friends and they’re all connected to you somehow?” she asks, and Lexa just nods her head silently. “Lex...” she sighs, shaking her head. “You need to be careful.. I don’t trust them.” She says honestly. 

Lexa’s brows furrow and she shakes her head. “No, they’re not.. I mean.. At first when Octavia told me she liked me and Clarke liked me I sort of thought they were playing a joke on me, but they aren’t.” She says, standing up for her friends. “Sure, Raven doesn’t like me, but I trust Clarke and I trust Octavia.” She says firmly. “They wouldn’t hurt me.” 

“I’m just saying be careful.” Anya says once again, still not sure if she trusts Lexa’s new friends. She’s used to Lexa getting bullied and girls like them playing pranks on her little sister, not dating her and becoming friends with her. Honestly, she hopes that their intentions are true because she wants that for her sister. She’s just hesitant. She’s seen her get hurt too many times. 

“I will, Anya.” Lexa sighs, a little upset that Anya is insinuating they don’t actually want to be her friend or girlfriend. “It’s possible for someone to like me you know.” She says quietly. 

Anya gives her a sympathetic look. “Lexa, I know that.” She says, firmly. “You’re an amazing person, you’re my favorite person.” She says, though she knows it doesn’t mean much to Lexa. “I’m not just saying that because you’re my sister.” She adds, wanting the girl to believe her. “I just want you to be careful. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“You don’t have to trust them, but I do. Just trust me.” Lexa says softly. 

“Okay.” Anya says, nodding her head. Though she’s still worried.

\---

Clarke lets out a sigh as she plops down on a bench outside of the library. “O, we’ve looked everywhere.” She says with a frown. They’ve pretty much searched any community area of the campus that Raven could have gone to. The ones that are open this late, anyway. “Maybe she’s with someone.” She says with a shrug. 

“Maybe Finn, she’s been talking to him a lot.” Octavia says, sitting down next to the blonde. “Do you have his number?” She asks, hopefully. 

Clarke nods her head and pulls her phone out, sending him a quick text. She doesn’t know why she hadn’t thought of that before. If Raven would have gone to anyone besides them, she would have gone to her new friend, Finn. He’s the only one that isn’t really involved in this mess in anyway. The only one that she could talk to and get away from all of this drama. 

But after a minute he texts her back and says that he hadn’t seen her tonight. 

“Do you think he’s lying? Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to us.” Octavia suggests with a shrug. 

Clarke sighs and sends him another one, pleading with him to tell her the truth. But Octavia may be right. If Raven wants to be found she will be, and if she doesn’t, she won’t be. “I don’t know, O.” She says quietly. “I don’t know what else to do.” She sighs. “I’m sure she’s fine though. She’s Raven. She probably just wants some space.”

Octavia nods her head silently. Clarke is probably right, but that doesn’t mean she’s not still worried about the girl. She just wants to fix this mess. She wants them all to be okay again. They’re all she has. They’re all any of them have. 

“He says, she’s not there.” She says, chewing on her lip. “He offered to help look for her, so I don’t think he’s lying.” She says with defeat. “I have no idea where else she’d be.” 

“What are you going to say to her anyway?” Octavia asks curiously, glancing back over at her best friend. 

Clarke just sighs and sinks down on the bench a little more. “I don’t know.” She says honestly. “It’s a complicated situation.” She says. “I mean, obviously I’m pissed about how she’s been treating Lexa, but it’s not like Raven had any clue. And she wasn’t treating Lexa that way because of the Aspergers, she would have treated any roommate that way.” She says, and Octavia can’t help but agree. 

“She’s mad at us, not her roommate.” She nods. 

“But it still doesn’t mean that she can take it out on Lexa. Or anyone for that matter.” Clarke adds. “But, I do feel bad for her. We should have known how hard she’d take us being roommates and leaving her out. We’ve known her most of our lives. We should have known how it would affect her.”

“It doesn’t help that we haven’t been putting as much effort into making her feel included as we should.” Octavia says, regretfully. Sure they hadn’t been just straight up ignoring her or anything, but they haven’t been reaching out to her as much either. They obviously know more about each other’s lives right now because they live in such close quarters. And neither of them think of it to be a big deal for Raven not to know. 

But Raven doesn’t feel that way. 

She feels like she’s being abandoned. Again.

Clarke nods in agreement and then sits up. “We’re not her parents.” She says, shaking her head. “And yeah, she’s had a fucked up life, but she can’t use that as an excuse to be awful for the rest of her life and have it be okay.” Clarke says, not really knowing if she wants to let Raven off as easy as they are. 

Though, Clarke is the one that everyone should be mad at right now. 

Not Raven. 

“You’re right.” Octavia nods. “But you know it’s not just that simple. Everthing she’s gone through, it’s taken a toll on her. It’s messed her up and it’s not that easily fixed.” 

“I know.” Clarke sighs. “We need to find her.”

\---

Bellamy hears a knock on his door and groans, getting up off the couch, where he’d been playing video games. He opens it up, revealing Raven and just looks at her confused. He glances down at his watch to look at the time. “What are you doing here?” He asks confused as to why Raven would be here alone this late, unannounced. “Is Octavia okay?”

“She’s fine.” Raven responds, stepping past him and walking into his apartment. “I just needed to get out of there.” She responds honestly. 

“Are you guys fighting? What happened?” He asks, turning towards her after shutting the door. He takes in the hurt look on her face and can also tell that she’s been crying. “Raven?” He questions, stepping closer to her. He puts his hand on her arm in comforting way and waits on her to tell him what’s going on. 

But instead of answering him, Raven just leans in and kisses him. 

Bellamy kisses her back for about half a second before pulling away. “Raven, what are you doing?” He asks completely confused. They’d hooked up one a couple of years ago, but it only happened the one time and neither expected it to happen again. 

“Stop talking and get undressed.” She demands him. 

Bellamy watches her for a second, considering his options. Raven has grown up with him so she’s sort of like a sister, though he was never as close to them as the girls were with each other, because he was a couple of years older. So it’s kind of weird. 

But on the other hand, Raven is extremely hot and who in their right mind would say no to her.It’s not like they’re actually related. 

“You know by now that I’m not going to stop this from happening. I’m not that guy.” he says, looking into her eyes, trying to get her to know what he’s saying. “I won’t talk you out of this or tell you that you’re just upset.” He says, giving his final two cents. “So if you don’t want this back out now.” He says, giving her one more chance. 

All Raven does is pull him into her, kissing him hard on the lips. 

She’ll probably regret this later, but right now she doesn’t care. 

She just wants to feel loved and close to someone. 

She’d thought about going to Finn, but he’s too nice of a guy. He would of done exactly what Bellamy is saying that he won’t do. 

Plus, she doesn’t want to toy with him. She doesn’t want to just use him like she’s using Bellamy. Bellamy is okay with it, but she’d probably break Finn. He’s too nice. He deserves better than her. 

She’s fucked up.

\--- 

Clarke and Octavia make their way back to their dorm rooms in defeat. They’d run out of places to look for Raven and it was starting to get late. “Clarke.. What if she’s not okay...” Octavia says worriedly. 

“She’s fine.” Clarke insists. “She’s Raven. Nothing can hurt her.” 

“Maybe physically.” Octavia says, making Clarke look guilty. 

Clarke just lays down on her bed and pulls her phone out. She wants to text Lexa, but she’s also a little afraid that the girl may be asleep and she doesn’t want to wake her. But she’s also worried that Raven will come home later in the night and isn’t sure if she’ll do anything or say anything to Lexa. 

Clarke wants to be there. 

Clarke: (11:51pm) - Hey are you asleep? 

Clarke looks over at Octavia to see her changing into some clothes to sleep in. She can tell by the girl’s body language that she’s still pretty upset and worried. But she doesn’t blame her. Octavia is a good person. She cares deeply about her friends and family. She’s a better person than Clarke is. 

She needs to learn some things from her. 

Lexa: (11:53pm) - No. I just got into bed. Did you find Raven? 

Clarke: (11:53pm) - No. She probably found a party or is with a classmate. She does this when she gets upset. I’m sure she’s fine. How are you?

Lexa: (11:54pm) - I’m okay. It’s been a long day.. 

Clarke: (11:55pm) - I know. I’m sorry, baby. 

Clarke: (11:56pm) - Would it be too fast or something if I asked to stay the night with you? I just want to hold you. But if that’s too fast then I totally get it. 

Lexa: (11:56pm) - I’d like that, Clarke. 

Clarke: (11:57pm) - I’ll be right over. 

Clarke climbs off of her bed and walks over to her closet, changing into some shorts and a T-shirt from high school. She looks over at Octavia who is lying on her bed, just staring up at the ceiling. She’s a little conflicted now, because she kind of doesn’t want to leave Octavia. 

“Hey, you alright?” Clarke asks gently. 

“I’m fine.” Octavia returns simply. 

Clarke just sighs and walks over to the girl, sitting down next to her. “Everything will pass and we’ll all be okay, again.” Clarke says comfortingly, rubbing her hand up Octavia’s arm. 

Octavia just pulls her arm away from the blonde. “If you wouldn’t have lied to everyone, we wouldn’t be in the mess in the first place!” She says, her voice rising a bit. 

She knew that Octavia was mad at her and though they had been together in peace, looking for Raven, that Octavia was just holding everything in. She’s already worried about Raven, she doesn’t want to have to deal with everything with Clarke right now as well. 

“I know.” Clarke says. “I’m sorry, O, but I don’t know what else I can say to make this better.” She says honestly, and a little desperately. 

Octavia just rolls over onto her side, facing away from Octavia. “Just hope that Raven is okay.” She says in a low voice.

Clarke bites down on her lip and nods her head slowly, even though Octavia isn’t facing her. She just sighs and decides to leave the girl alone for the night. Especially since she’d told Lexa she’d come over there, and now it’s obvious that Octavia doesn’t really want to be around her anyway. “I’m going to stay at Lexa’s.” 

She watches Octavia’s figure to see if she’s going to respond to her, but she doesn’t. So with a sigh, and without another word, Clarke turns and walks out of their dorm room, headed for Lexa’s. 

\---

Clarke gets woken from her slumber, hearing the door open and close. At first she’s not really sure what the noise is, she just knows that she’s still tired and now there is a lot of light shining in her eyes. She glances over at the clock to see that it’s barely 6 in the morning. Then she looks around the room and sees Raven standing paused at the door, staring at her. 

“Raven.” Clarke states quietly then glances down at Lexa who is tangled up in her arms. 

“Of course, you’re here.” Raven says, rolling her eyes. She doesn’t miss the way her best friend and roommate are tangled up in each other so much that she can’t tell which limbs are who’s. This is too weird. “I’m just changing clothes and then leaving.” Raven tells her, walking over to her closet. 

Clarke carefully climbs out of bed, doing her best not to wake up Lexa, which surprisingly is successful. “Raven, can we please talk.” Clarke begs, quietly, walking over to the brunette. 

Though Raven continues going through her closet, pulling out clothes. Once she decides on her outfit, she quickly strips the clothes on her body off, leaving them haphazardly on the floor. Clarke knows that it’ll bug Lexa when she wakes up. She’s pretty sure that Raven knows that too. 

“I know you’re hurt and upset, but that’s the last thing that I was trying to do.” Clarke says, wanting desperately for her to believe her. She slowly reaches down for Raven’s clothes throws them into the clothes hamper across the room. 

Raven raises a brow at her, and then just rolls her eyes but she doesn’t say anything. They both know why Clarke picked the clothes up. Raven just doesn’t want to talk about it.

“So, in your mind, lying to me this whole time wasn’t going to hurt me?” Raven fires back, surprisingly keeping her voice at a low level. But the look in her eyes was more scary than a screaming anyway. “So much for being my family. It was all a load of crap. You don’t care about me, you only care about your self. Everyone does.” She says angrily as she finishes putting her clothes on.

“Raven, you know that isn’t true.” Clarke says with a heavy sigh. “I love you. I knew that you didn’t like her and I was afraid to tell you. I didn’t want to upset you. I know that lying was wrong, I was just scared.” She says honestly, and Raven just scoffs at her. “I really like Lexa, Raven. Like... I can see myself falling in love with her.” She says honestly, looking Raven in the eyes, unblinkingly to let the girl know that she’s serious.

Raven’s jaw clenches and she looks over at her roommate who is still sound asleep in her bed. “Why her?” Raven asks, shaking her head, not understanding how Clarke likes her so much.

Clarke just shrugs her shoulders. “You never gave her a chance. You’ve been so mad at me and Octavia and basically the whole world that you won’t get close to anyone. You’re angry and you take it out on everyone around you.” Clarke says honestly. 

Raven’s face hardens even more and she takes a step towards Clarke. She’s not really scared of her, but a part of her actually kind of is. She knows how scary Raven can be, but she’s never been on the receiving end of it before. Not like this anyway. They’ve had arguments, but it’s never been like this.

“Leave me alone, Clarke.” She says simply and then spins around to grab her bag off the floor. 

“Raven can you at least promise me that you won’t do anything to Lexa. She has nothing to do with this. Please, don’t take it out on her.” Clarke asks desperately. She doesn’t want to have to worry about watching the girl 24/7 in fear of what Raven will do out of anger. 

Raven just scoffs and lets out a bitter laugh. “I don’t give a fuck about your little girlfriend.” Raven says, rolling her eyes. “She’s fine. I want you all just to stay the fuck away from me.” she says, before turning and walking out the door, slamming it behind her.

“Clarke?” She hears Lexa’s soft voice from behind her. It’s raspy and still thick with sleep and it sends a little shiver down Clarke’s back. 

Moving over to the bed, she smiles down at the girl who just looks confused as she tries to wake herself up.

“Hey baby,” Clarke greets, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on Lexa’s forehead.

“What’s going on?” She asks, referring to all the commotion. 

Clarke glances over towards the door and then looks back over at Lexa. “Raven came in.” She says with a sigh and notices the way that Lexa’s body tenses. “She’s gone again.” Clarke tells her, reaching out for Lexa’s hand. “I really don’t think you need to worry about her. She’s angry with me and Octavia. I doubt she’ll be any worse than she already has been. If anything, she’ll just avoid the dorm and avoid you.” Clarke says, after witnessing the last encounter with Raven.

Lexa swallows but nods her head slowly. Though, she’s not sure if she feels any better about it all. 

“I’m here if anything happens, alright?” Clarke says, sensing how uneasy she still is. “Hey, how about we get dressed and go have some breakfast before class?” Clarke suggests, since they have plenty of time. Normally she wouldn’t be up for another hour and a half at least.

“Okay.” Lexa says with a small smile. “But, we have to have french toast.” She says, looking at the girl with her puppy dog eyes. 

Clarke smiles and nods her head. “Whatever you want, baby.” She says and notices the way that Lexa blushes at the term of endearment. She’d said it to her earlier but Lexa still had been half asleep and must not have noticed it. Or was too tired to really fully be affected by it. “Get dressed and i’m going to run to my room and change real quick.” 

Lexa just nods in response and stands up from her bed. She smiles bashfully when Clarke gives her a soft kiss as a goodbye and walks out of her dorm room. She still gets all tingly inside when Clarke gives her any sort of affection. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever get over that. 

Or if she wants to. 

\---

Clarke walks into her dorm room and sees Octavia still asleep in her bed. She debates on if she should wake her and tell her that she saw Raven or if she should just wait and tell her later when she’s awake. Though she knows how worried Octavia had been so she should probably tell her now. Plus, she doesn’t need to give Octavia even more of a reason to be mad at her. 

“Octavia,” she says quietly, sitting down next to her. “O,” she says again, shaking the girl a bit. 

Finally, she starts to stir a bit and looks up at Clarke confused. “What? What’s wrong?” She asks, confused. And then she remembers everything that happened yesterday and Raven. It wakes her up really quickly and she sits up in her bed. “What happened?” 

“Hey, everything is fine.” Clarke says soothingly. “I saw Raven. She came into her dorm.” She tells the girl who looks a little relieved, but still uneasy. “She’s still really angry at me and she didn’t really want to talk, but she’s alive and okay.” Clarke says, hoping it’ll bring her some comfort. 

“And Lexa?” 

“She was asleep, thankfully Raven didn’t yell or wake her up.” Clarke informs her. “I don’t think that I need to be worried about Raven and Lexa. But I am worried about Raven.” She says with a frown. 

“I’ll try and get a hold of her today.” Octavia says with a sigh. 

“Okay.” Clarke nods. “Let me know if anything happens. I’m going to take Lexa to breakfast before class.” She informs the girl. “After yesterday, I just want her to have a good day.” Clarke explains with a small shrug. “But if you hear anything about Raven or if you need me, please let me know okay?” 

“Okay,” Octavia says simply. She understands why she wants to spend time with Lexa and she doesn’t blame her. But she also wishes that she’d put a little more effort into trying to reach out to Raven. But she supposes it has to be hard to be torn between the both of them. Your girlfriend and your best friend. “Tell Lexa I hope she has a better day, and I’m sorry about pulling her into all of our drama.” 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Clarke says, but smiles appreciatively anyway. “But she’ll appreciate that. And I appreciate you being so nice to her and trying to get along with her.” Clarke adds thankfully. 

Octavia feels a little guilty because Clarke still doesn’t know that they’ve been friends for awhile. 

“It’s not a problem Clarke.”

Even more lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So maybe this time it was like 74 years instead of 84? I know, I tried but my birthday was a few days ago so I've been busy celebrating that! Just don't lose faith in me because I promise that I have no intention or stopping this story!! 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of the chapter and what you guys think will happen next! 
> 
> Also if you have any ideas or things you'd want to see in future chapters, let me know! I love hearing your ideas small or big!
> 
> tumblr: all-the-fictional-lesbians.tumblr.com
> 
> Also vote for Clexa!!!! It'll make me happy. http://www.eonline.com/news/774360/tv-scoop-awards-2016-vote-for-your-favorite-tv-couple-steamiest-moment-now


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo sorry for the long wait guys. I lost some inspiration plus I've just been insanely busy. But thank you for being patient (Those of you who have been anyway.) And all the kind words while you have been waiting. (And not a thank you to all the not so kind words) But anyway. I appreciate you all and all of you who are still reading. So enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Clarke glances over at Lexa and sees her busily jotting down notes on her notepad, listening intensely to what the professor is talking about. She also sees the page marked with 4 different colors of highlighter. Clarke isn’t really sure what she’s color coding, but obviously Lexa has some sort of system going. And a very detailed one at that. 

Clarke looks down at her own notes and sees about two sentences a couple of random dates scribbled down and that’s it. She frowns a bit at herself, but then shrugs it off. Clarke on the other hand isn’t all that interested like Lexa seems to be. Listening to an hour long lecture about art in the stone age, isn’t all that exciting to her. Plus, she already knows quite a bit about it. Which is the one thing saving her from failing the class.

But Lexa seems to be pretty into it. Or maybe it’s just because she’s a good student and tries to do her best in all of her classes. Clarke has seen her notes for all of her classes and they’re crazy detailed and organized just like the ones she’s scribbling on right now. She always uses different colored highlighters as well as different color sticky notes on all the edges to make it easier to find things. 

Clarke would normally find it weird and over the top, but she finds it adorable on Lexa. Much like everything that the girl does.

Reaching over, Clarke draws a little heart in the corner of Lexa’s notebook. She glances up at Lexa after she draws it and sees the girl’s face turn red and a bashful smile appear on her face. It makes Clarke grin as well. 

Lexa shyly glances over at the blonde who is still grinning at her. But as soon as their eyes meet, Lexa looks away shyly, her face turning even redder. 

Clarke just quietly giggles but decides to leave her alone and let her continue listening to the lecture. She knows how studious Lexa is and she really doesn’t want to distract her.

That is until about 10 minutes later when Clarke can’t seem to leave the girl alone. Lexa is just too distracting, but who could blame her? She reaches back over with her pen, a new page than the one that the heart was on. She can see Lexa’s eyes dart down to her pen, but she doesn’t try and stop her. 

Clarke just smiles and writes her a note in the bottom corner. 

‘You’re beautiful’ 

Lexa blushes even harder than last time and ducks her head down to try and hide it. She glances over at Clarke out of the corner of her eye and gives her an adorable smile. A smile that makes Clarke’s heart swoon. 

They smile at each other for a few moments, just kind of lost in each other. Both almost missed the professor letting them go. If it hadn’t been for the other hundreds of kids hurriedly rushing around to get out of the classroom, they probably would have sat there all day staring at each other.

“Hey,” Clarke says, as she throws her bag over her shoulder. She looks down at Lexa who is still putting her things away, but glances up at her in acknowledgement. “Do you want to go and get coffee?” She asks curiously. Really she knows that Lexa normally goes to get coffee after class and she just wants to spend more time with her. 

“Yeah,” Lexa smiles with a nod. She thinks back to how Octavia will be there waiting on her and she knows that she doesn’t want Clarke to know that they used to hang out. But now that Clarke knows her and Octavia know each other it shouldn’t matter right?

She’s not really sure. 

This kind of thing really confuses her. 

Once Lexa gets all of her things gathered up, she slings her bag over her shoulders and starts walking towards the door followed by Clarke. When they get outside, she’s not surprised to feel Clarke’s hand lacing with hers. It’s starting to become so familiar to her that she barely even notices it. Though, the tingles that still shoot up her arm, give it away. 

They walk into the coffee shop and Clarke guides Lexa up to the counter, ordering for both of them. It makes Lexa smile when she realizes that Clarke knows her coffee order, even though they’ve only gotten coffee together a couple of times. 

Lexa spots Octavia already sitting in their usual spot and she smiles at the girl, giving her a small wave. She watches as Octavia’s eyes dart back and forth between her and Clarke for a minute, before she finally smiles at Lexa and waves back at her.

Once Clarke hands Lexa her coffee the girl glances back over at Octavia, nodding her head towards her as well so that Clarke will see her. “Octavia is here.” She then states, just in case Clarke hadn’t seen her. 

Clarke spots her roommate and smiles at her before looking back over at Lexa. “Want to join her?” She asks, just to make sure that Lexa is okay with it.

When Lexa nods Clarke smiles at her and pulls her along to sit at the table with Octavia. “Hey, O.” Clarke greets with a soft smile. She lets Lexa sit down in her chair first, before sitting down next to her, scooting herself a little closer to the girl. 

“Hey Clarke, Lexa,” Octavia greets with a smile. Though, Lexa senses something off with the girl. Or maybe it’s just her. She’s really not sure if something is wrong or what it is. She’s really not good at reading people, unfortunately. People confuse her.

“Hello, Octavia.” Lexa greets back politely. 

“So have you heard from Raven today?” Clarke asks curiously, looking at Octavia over her coffee cup as she takes a sip of it. “I tried texting her a few times, but as expected, she hasn’t responded to anything.” Clarke says with a grimace. 

Octavia just shakes her head solemnly. “Clarke, this is bad.” She says with a sigh. 

Clarke gives Octavia a sympathetic look. “O, like I’ve said before you know Raven. This is what she does.” She reminds the girl. “Remember growing up, anytime she’d get upset she’d runaway from home? One time she was gone for like 3 days.” Clarke says with a slight chuckle, remembering how much of a handful Raven was growing up. “But she always came back and she was always fine.” She says hoping that it’ll ease Octavia’s worries at least slightly. 

Octavia nods her head and lets out a heavy sigh. Deciding, not to talk about Raven anymore, she turns her attention over to Lexa. “How are you doing, Lexa?” She asks concerned. “I’m sorry you’re getting dragged into all of this. You don’t deserve it.” 

Lexa gives her an appreciative smile and then glances over at Clarke when she feels the blonde’s hand on her thigh. She smiles at her girlfriend and then looks back over at Octavia. “I’m okay,” she says quietly. “A little anxious about seeing Raven.” She admits. 

Clarke gently runs her hand up and down Lexa’s leg in a comforting way. She’s pretty sure she’s just as anxious as Lexa is just because it makes her anxious to see Lexa anxious. Touching her is supposed to be comforting for Lexa, but she’s pretty sure it’s more comforting for herself. 

“Well if Raven does anything me and Clarke are both two doors down.” Octavia says matter of fact. 

Both Lexa and Clarke give her appreciative smiles. Clarke is happy that her best friend and roommate actually seems to care about Lexa as well. 

At least one of her friends does.

“Thank you.” Lexa says sincerely. She looks back over at Clarke feeling the girl give her thigh a gentle squeeze and finds the blonde smiling affectionately at her. Clarke starts to lean in towards her so Lexa meets her halfway for a brief kiss, both smiling widely at each other. 

“Ugh, gag me.” Octavia says, watching them in disgust. “Do you two ever quit?

Clarke and Lexa both look over at the girl. Clarke simply rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her coffee but Lexa just looks confused. “Of course we do.” She says as though it should be obvious. “It’d be pretty hard to do a lot of things if we never stopped. We wouldn’t be able to eat or-

“Babe she was joking.” Clarke says with a small giggle, stopping Lexa before she got too carried away. 

Lexa just looks back at Octavia who has an amused look on her face. “Oh.” She says simply with a blush. 

Clarke grins at her and leans over kissing her cheek, making the girl blush even harder.

“Sorry, I don’t really understand sarcasm...Or pick up on it well.” She admits, a little embarrassed as Clarke just continues caressing her leg in a comforting way. She’d never really been one on physical contact either, but she really likes when Clarke touches her. And it’s actually helping her, surprisingly. The only person she’d ever been okay with touching her as always been Anya, and even sometimes, she doesn’t even want her touching her.

“It’s okay.” Octavia smiles. “I’ll be more careful with the sarcasm around you.” She tells her in a way that actually makes her seem sincere. Not that she’s annoyed or anything with Lexa for not being able to understand it. She’d always been teased and called stupid for it in the past. But Clarke and Octavia don’t seem to think that she’s stupid.

\---

As Clarke and Lexa are walking hand in hand back to the dorms they pass Finn walking down the sidewalk. He smiles widely at the two girls, but mainly keeps his focus on Clarke, barely even acknowledging the brunette. “Hey, Clarke.” He greets cheerfully. 

Clarke just smiles back at him and gives him a little nod. “Finn.” She says in return. 

“Hey, did you ever hear from Raven?” He asks, his brows furrowing in what looked like concern. “I haven’t heard from her in a few days and I’ve been a little worried.” He admits. “She hasn’t been responding to any of my messages or anything.”

Clarke frowns and just shakes her head. “I saw her yesterday morning, but we didn’t get to talk much. She’s upset at me and O so she’s kind of MIA.” Clarke informs him. “But, don’t worry, I’m sure she’s fine. She usually just hides out for a few days until she’s ready to talk or work it out.” She says, hoping to ease his worries a bit. Though she’s not really sure why she wouldn’t be talking to him either. 

“Okay,” Finn nods, though he doesn’t look very reassured. “Anyway, me and you should hang out. It’s been a while.” He tells her with a hopeful grin. “Oh and me and Raven, we’re just friends.” He says quickly. “We have never slept together or anything like that.”

Clarke bites her lip and just nods her head. She realizes that he felt the need to tell her that because he is into her and wants her to know he’s not with Raven. It’s then when she realizes she had yet to introduce her girlfriend to Finn. “Oh, um I’m really sorry. This is Lexa.” She says, nodding to the brunette standing next to her.

“Nice to meet you, Lexa.” Finn says with a sincere smile, reaching out to shake the girl’s hand. 

Clarke looks between them and then takes a breath. “She’s my girlfriend.” She says with a small wince. It’s not that she’s not proud to say that Lexa is her girlfriend. She’ll shout it from the rooftops. She just doesn’t want to hurt Finn. He’s actually a really nice guy and she knows how into her he is. 

And it’s obvious by the way his face drops and all of a sudden he looks like a kicked puppy. Though it doesn’t last long and he’s smiling again, even if it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Well, you’re a lucky girl.” He says to Lexa and then clears his throat awkwardly. 

“I know.” Lexa says simply, but not in a rude way. Just in her Lexa way. It makes Clarke smile at her.

“But hey, Finn if you still wanted to hang out or something sometime... if not then I get it.” She says, offering to still be his friend if he’s okay with that. She did really like him, just not in that sort of way. And she’d like to keep him in her life. As long as he could respect her and Lexa’s relationship. 

“Yeah, I definitely would like that.” He says with a smile and even if it’s not full of life like it normally is. Clarke actually thinks that he means it. That he’s not just lying to her right now and then she’ll never hear from him again. 

“Okay, great.” She nods with a smile. “I’ll see you later.” 

“Of course. It was nice to meet you Lexa.” He says with a nod before walking away from the couple. 

Lexa just smiles after him and then looks back to Clarke. “I’m not really good at picking up on certain things.. Or really most things.. But that seemed like it may have been awkward. Or something.” Lexa says, her brows furrowed adorably. “Am I wrong?” She then asks meeting Clarke’s eyes looking for confirmation on what had just happened. 

Clarke can’t help but chuckle at the confusion on Lexa’s face. She’s just too freaking adorable. “Yes, Lexa. It was awkward.” She says with a smirk. She tugs on the girl’s hand and starts walking towards the dorm once again. “He sort of.. Is into me.” She admits, not really sure how Lexa is going to feel about that. 

“Oh.” She says simply. 

“That’s it?” Clarke asks, expecting at least some sort of reaction. Or even questions. 

“Well obviously he likes you.” She says as though it were obvious. 

Clarke is still confused but gives the girl a small smile, ready to hear her explanation. “Yeah? And why is that obvious?” She asks curiously. 

Lexa just shrugs her shoulders, “Because you’re you.” She says simply and not in a way that says she’s trying to be charming or flirt. She’s just being honest. Like it’s the most obvious thing in the world to her. And that makes it mean even more to Clarke. 

Clarke simply steps in front of the brunette, catching her off guard and making Lexa jump just a little. But Clarke just smiles at her and leans in placing a meaningful kiss to her lips. It’s nothing to over the top, but it’s enough to leave Lexa breathless. 

When Clarke pulls away she watches as Lexa’s eyes slowly flutter open, looking like she’s in a daze. It just makes Clarke giggle and swoon a little more for her. “What was that for?” Lexa asks, her voice barely above a whisper, obviously still not recovered from the surprise kiss. 

“Just for you being you.” Clarke says simply before turning back and pulling Lexa along with her to the dorms. 

\---

After a lengthy goodbye outside of Lexa’s room, Clarke finally makes her way back into her own. She’d wanted to hang out with Lexa longer, but she knows that this is the time that Lexa likes to study. And they’d already spent longer out having coffee and then taking their time on the walk back than normal. And she knows Lexa is one for her routines. Clarke would hate to intrude on that. 

Plus, she wants to check up on Octavia. She’d definitely seemed off at the coffee shop. Clarke knows that it’s because of Raven and the girl is just worried about her. And there isn’t much that Clarke can do, but she definitely wants to try and at least be there for her. 

She sees Octavia lying on her bed, her phone above her head as she scrolls through something. Probably facebook. 

“Hey,” Clarke greets as she kicks her shoes off and collapses onto her own bed. 

“Hi,” Octavia mumbles, not looking away from her phone. “I didn’t think you’d ever detach your lips from Lexa to come home.” She says, making Clarke blush. 

“You saw us?” She asks, not remembering ever seeing Octavia walk by them. 

Octavia just lets out a hum. “No, I just teleported here from the coffee shop.” She says sarcastically, but lets out a small smirk. “I’m not surprised you didn’t notice me squeeze past you guys though. You seemed pretty wrapped up in eating each other’s faces.” 

Clarke just blushes a little harder, but can’t help smile. “Yeah well, she’s a good kisser. Like, have you seen her lips?” She asks, rolling over onto her side and looking over at her best friend. “I’m surprised I was able to detach my lips from her as well.” Clarke says with a chuckle.

Octavia rolls her eyes and chooses not to respond to that. “I text Raven again...” she says with a small sigh. 

“Anything back?” Clarke asks, sitting up a bit. 

“Not yet.” Octavia replies simply, letting her phone fall to the bed next to her. “I just told her to at least let me know that she’s alive.” She informs her, rolling over onto her side as well. “I know she’s mad, but it’s so frustrating. I just want to talk to her, to try and work all of this out. And I hate not knowing where she is or who she’s with.” 

“I know.” Clarke sighs. “But there isn’t much we can do O. You know how Raven is.” She says matter of fact. “And you also know that she can take care of herself and that she’ll come to us when she’s ready.”

“What if this time, she doesn’t? How do you know she’s not completely done with us?” Octavia asks worriedly. 

Clarke gets up off of her bed and moves over to Octavia’s bed, laying down on the bed next to her. “Because we’re family, O.” She says simply as if that were the answer to everything. And to her it is the answer. 

Before Octavia can respond, her phone chimes, and both girls immediately look down at it. 

“Is it her?” Clarke asks as she watches Octavia unlock her phone and read over the text message. 

“Yeah.” Octavia nods, a little relief in her voice. “All she said is, ‘I’m fine.’” She says with a small sigh. 

Clarke scoots closer to her best friend and throws an arm over her stomach, letting her head rest on the girl’s shoulder. “Well, at least it’s progress.” She says honestly. “Plus, we know that she’s alive.”

\---

Clarke wraps her arms tighter around Lexa and buries her nose into the girl’s neck. She lets out a small whine and can feel and hear Lexa chuckle against her. “Clarke.” Lexa says simply, trying to pull away from the blonde slightly, but Clarke just holds her tighter, not letting her go. “Clarke you’re going to suffocate me.” She says with a smile and a little giggle. A giggle that warms Clarke’s heart and makes it even harder to let go of her. 

The blonde groans for the millionth time in the last 15 minutes and pulls away from Lexa just slightly and looks at her. “How do I already miss you when you’re standing right in front of me?” Clarke asks with a pout. 

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Lexa says, making the blonde frown. “But, I get what you mean.” She adds, feeling the same way. Even though it really doesn’t make sense to her. Because how do you miss someone who is right in front of you? How would that even be possible?

“Well, there is a simple solution to that problem.” Clarke says with a smirk. “Don’t go.” She adds and then leans her forehead against Lexa’s. She let’s out a small sigh because she knows that Lexa is going to go anyway. And she gets it. It just sucks. “Should I leave before Anya gets here?” she asks not knowing if Lexa wanted her to meet her older sister yet. Even if she did see her over Skype. 

“You probably should.” Lexa nods, still not really wanting Clarke to have to face Anya just yet. Anya has already made it clear that she is not a fan of the blonde. And Lexa knows she’ll have to meet her at some point, especially if her and Clarke stay together, which she hopes that they do. She’s just not ready to have to deal with that yet. Nor does she want Clarke to have to deal with that yet. 

“Well, I’ll have to meet her at some point.” Clarke says with a small shrug. She’s fine leaving if Lexa doesn’t want her to meet her yet. But she’s also up for finally facing the intimidating sister. She knows how close her and Lexa are and she wants the girl to get to know her and hopefully like her eventually. Even though that’ll probably take time. Which is why she should probably go ahead and meet her and get the ball rolling.

“I know.” Lexa says softly. “I just don’t want her to scare you away.” She admits. 

Clarke smiles and leans in placing a soft kiss on Lexa’s lips. “Nothing can scare me away from you.” She responds affectionately. 

Before either of them can really decide for sure if Clarke should meet Anya or not, they see a car pull up on the curb right next to them. 

“I guess it’s too late now.” Clarke says with a small smirk. She then clears her throat and pulls herself away from Lexa as she watches Anya get out of the car. She swallows a bit nervously, and anxiously waits for the woman to walk around the car to them. “Hey, Anya.” Clarke greets, trying to hide her nerves. “I’m Clarke. I mean, I know that we kind of met over Skype but it’s nice to officially meet you.” She says offering out her hand to the older woman. 

Anya takes her sunglasses off and puts them on top of her head as she eyes the blonde. She simply raises a brow at the girl and then turns her attention over to her sister, completely ignoring Clarke.

“Anya.” Lexa says warningly. 

“What?” Anya questions with a shrug, acting innocent. 

Clarke just drops her hand and lets out a nervous breath. She watches Anya bend down and start to grab Lexa’s bags, but Clarke quickly grabs them. “I’ve got it.” She says trying to be helpful. Anya just eyes her again, but opens the trunk to allow Clarke to put the bags in herself. 

After shutting the trunk, Clarke turns back to her girlfriend and gives her a small smile. She steps closer to Lexa and carefully reaches out to grab her hands. “I guess I’ll see you on Sunday. Let me know when you’re back.” She tells Lexa, a small pout still on her face for having to say goodbye. 

Lexa squeezes her hands and gives her a smile and a nod. “I will.” She confirms. 

Clarke glances back at Anya who is staring a hole into her head and quickly turns her head back over to Lexa. She wants to kiss Lexa, but she also doesn’t want Anya to jump her or something. Though, Lexa is an adult and there isn’t anything wrong with her kissing her girlfriend. But at the same time, she wants Anya to like her, not piss her off even more.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to worry about what Anya had to say, she puts her hands on Lexa’s waist and pulls her a little closer. Her girlfriend is going to be away for almost 3 days so she’s damn well going to kiss her. 

Anya be damned. 

Though as she starts to lean in, she looks into Lexa’s eyes, looking for any sign that she’s not comfortable with it. But Lexa starts to lean in as well so Clarke closes the gap and presses their lips together. 

She kind of gets lost in the kiss and ends up kissing Lexa a little longer than she had planned. But that’s sort of what happens when she kisses her. Everything else disappears and she doesn’t really have any more rational thoughts. Especially when Lexa’s fingers are tangling in her hair and pulling her closer.

It’s not until she hears someone clearing her throat behind her that she pulls away. Clarke glances back at Anya who is still glaring at her, this time with her fists clenched by her side. She’s definitely sure that if looks could kill she’d be long dead at this point. Clearing her throat awkwardly she turns back to Lexa who is blushing bright red, obviously embarrassed for getting a little too carried away in front of her sister. 

“Hey, at least I wasn’t groping you or anything.” Clarke whisper, leaning her forehead against Lexa’s with a chuckle. 

Lexa rolls her eyes, but lets out a small breathy laugh as well. “I’ll see you Sunday, Clarke.” 

Clarke nods her head and places a soft kiss to Lexa’s forehead before pulling away completely. “Bye Lexa.” She says softly and then turns back to Anya who is wordlessly climbing back into the driver’s seat of the car. “Nice to meet you as well.” Clarke mumbles, making Lexa chuckle next to her.

\---

Clarke and Octavia walk into a crowded frat house holding hands not to lose each other. They instantly start looking for the kitchen where they figure all of the alcohol will be. At least that’s where it normally is. Both of them are sober at the moment and neither of them want to be. They’ve both had a long week with all the drama and just want to forget about it. Plus, Clarke already misses Lexa.

As soon as they walk into the kitchen they spot Raven sitting up on the bar taking a shot with a group of guys, smiling widely. They can instantly tell that she’s drunk just by looking at her, and they both instantly stop walking. They give each other concerned glances and then look back over at their friend, who had yet to notice them as she is now downing her shot.

“Should we go and talk to her?” Octavia asks, still staring at their best friend from across the room. 

Clarke scrunches up her lips as she thinks over their options. Raven has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with them right now. Plus, she’s clearly been drinking and Clarke knows it’ll probably just end in another fight. A fight she really doesn’t want to get into. Not while Raven is intoxicated. This is supposed to be a fun night. A night to forget all of the drama in their life. 

“Let’s not.” Clarke finally says, making Octavia look at her. “She looks like she’s having fun and I don’t want to get into a fight with her.” She says with a small sigh. “Let’s just try and keep an eye on her, yeah?” She then adds, moving her eyes back over to Octavia’s. The girl doesn’t look like she is okay with this answer so Clarke just nods and gives her a reassuring smile. “Come on, let’s get a drink.” 

“What if she sees us?” Octavia asks, pointing out the obvious since they’re at the same party. 

“Well if she wants to talk to us then we’ll talk to her. But let’s just leave it up to her.” Clarke replies, and Octavia just nods, even though she still doesn’t seem okay with Clarke’s decision. 

\---  
Lexa walks into the living room after unpacking all of her things in her old room. Even if she’s only going to be there for a few days, she still doesn’t like living out of her suitcase. She spots Anya sitting on the couch, reading a book, their cat, Heda curled up at her feet. Lexa smiles at the two of them and sits down on the couch next to Anya, cuddling up to her side. 

“You don’t call me as much anymore.” Anya states simply, after a few moments of quiet. 

Lexa looks up with furrowed brows and a frown. “I’m sorry.” She says, never really noticing the fact that she hadn’t been calling her sister as much as she had been when she first went off to college. 

Anya just shakes her head and looks over at her little sister. “It’s not a bad thing.” She says which kind of confuses Lexa even more. “I mean, it makes me a little sad, but I think that it means you don’t need me as much.” She says honestly, a sad smile on her face. “Which like I said, is a good thing.” She repeats, not really sure if her voice or her face was convincing enough for Lexa. 

Or maybe she’s trying to convince herself. 

“Anya, I still need you.” Lexa says matter of fact.   
Anya gives her a smile and nudges her a little with her shoulder. “Good.” She says simply. “Don’t go replacing me with Clarke or anything.” She says with a small chuckle even though she’s really only laughing because she’s trying to hide the fact that she’s actually a little bit worried about that. 

“Anya, you’re my sister and Clarke is my girlfriend.” Lexa says simply. “I’m not replacing you with her.”

“Like she could replace me anyway.” Anya says rolling her eyes, her facade still up. Even though she’s pretty sure that Lexa isn’t really picking up on the humor or the sarcasm. 

“She couldn’t.” Lexa replies simply. “I care about both of you and I like having both of you in my life. I have room for both you know.” She says with a shrug. “You’re the one telling me to meet people and make friends.” She reminds her sister. 

Anya rolls her eyes at that, because she’s right. She just hadn’t thought about what would happen when she actually did it. “I know and I’m happy that you are.” She says sincerely. “Come on, let’s go make some dinner.” She says, patting her little sister on the leg and then standing up off the couch. “I’ve had enough of this sappy feelings stuff.” She says, reaching down to help Lexa up. 

Lexa takes her hand and then just rolls her eyes at her sister's comment, but follows her into the kitchen.

\---

Octavia stumbles a little through the bodies of people until she locates Clarke again, in the same spot that she’d left her. She hands the blonde the drink she made for her and then takes a sip of her own. The house is huge and it’s also really crowded so they actually hadn’t even seen much of Raven since they first got there. And they’re pretty sure she hadn’t seen them. Unless she’s just ignoring them. 

“Look, it’s Lincoln!” Octavia says with a grin, pointing at the boy from across the room. 

Clarke just smirks as she follows the black haired girl over to the boy to speak to him and Bellamy who he was hanging out with. “You better be careful, O.” Clarke says with a smirk, because of the fact that Bellamy is standing there. If he knew about Octavia and Lincoln he’d probably flip his shit. He’s already protective of her in general, but he’d be pissed to find out it was one of his friends possibly interested. 

“Hey bro.” O greets, slinging an arm around the taller boy. “Lincoln.” She then greets, giving him a smile. 

“How drunk are you?” Bellamy asks, looking down at his little sister and then over to Clarke who just shrugs her shoulders. He gives her a little glare but then turns back to his sister. 

Clarke isn’t really bothered. 

She’s not Octavia’s mother. 

“Clarke! This is Lincoln!” Octavia shouts, moving over to the darker boy and putting her arm around his bicep. “I don’t know if you met him last time, if you did then now you’re meeting him again.” She rambles and both Clarke and Lincoln just raise a brow at the girl. 

Lincoln reaches out to shake Clarke’s hand and the blonde takes it with an amused smile. “You’re the one dating my little sister.” He then says, making the smile on Clarke’s face drop. 

“What?” She just about stutters out, her mouth suddenly going dry. She’d heard Lexa mention the name Lincoln to her a couple of times, but she’d sort of forgotten about Octavia’s lincoln from weeks ago and didn’t even connect the two. “I-... you’re Lexa’s brother?” 

“That’s me.” He smirks at her. 

Octavia looks over at him confused as well. “Wait, Lexa is your sister?” She asks, her eyes widening. What are the odds of that? 

He just nods his head and then turns back to Clarke. “My sister likes you a lot.” He says, moving closer to her so that she can hear him over the music. “I’ve never seen her like this and I’ve never really seen her show interest in anyone before you.” He tells her honestly. “I don’t want to get all cliche, but seriously if you hurt her, it’s not going to end well for you.” He threatens, giving her a harsh look. 

“Man, you guys have that intimidation thing down pact.” She says, thinking back to Anya as well. “But, I won’t hurt her. I mean, I don’t know what is going to happen, but I like her a lot as well and believe me, the last thing in the world that I want is for her to be hurt.” She says honestly, hoping that he believes her. Though, she’s sure he’ll still be wary of her just like Anya. 

Lincoln stares at her for a few minutes, making the blonde squirm under his gaze. “That better be true.” He finally says and Clarke just nods furiously. He then gives her a smile. “Honestly, I like you already.” He says surprising her. “You’re making her happy and I actually believe that you like her as well.” He admits sincerely. “It’s Anya that you’re going to have a hard time with. The big sis.” He tells her. 

Clarke just nods, because she’s already very aware of that. “Yeah... I had a run in with her earlier today.” Clarke admits, thinking back to her interaction with Anya. It hadn’t gone well. 

Lincoln just laughs and raises his brows. “You met her and you’re still alive?” He says a little surprised. “Impressive.” 

Clarke just lets out a sigh and gives him a small smile. “She definitely hates me.” She concludes. 

“She’ll come around..” he says, but doesn’t sound very confident. “I hope, anyway.” He adds with a small shrug, not really making Clarke feel much better. “Lexa dating is new for all of us, so I’m not really sure how she’s going to react or how long it’ll take her to warm up to you. She’s just fiercely protective of Lexa.” He tries explaining. 

Clarke nods her head in understanding. “I know. I get it.” She says simply. “I can deal with Anya.” she says confidently and Lincoln just raises a brow at her, not really sure if he believes her or not. He knows Anya well enough to know how harsh she can be. 

“I still can’t believe you’re Lexa’s brother.” Octavia says from her place next to the boy. 

“How do you guys know Lexa?” Bellamy asks, apparently just now joining the conversation once again. He’d been too preoccupied with some of his other friends that were standing around on the other side of him. 

“It’s Clarke’s girlfriend.” Octavia answers like it’s obvious. “Keep up, Bell.” 

He just shrugs his shoulders and looks a little offended. “It’s not like you guys ever tell me anything.” He retorts with a little bit of attitude. 

Clarke gives him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Bell but you’re basically my big brother and even though you aren’t as hard on me as Octavia, it’s still not the easiest thing to talk to you about relationships.” Clarke says, defending herself. Growing up he’d been almost as protective over her as he is Octavia. Trying to intimidate the people she dates and almost scare them off.

“Yeah Bell, we don’t want to talk to you about our sex lives.” Octavia says, reaching up and running her hand through his hair, messing it up more than it already was. Not that it made a difference because he already didn’t ever really put effort into his hair. It sort of just goes everywhere. But he still gets annoyed and swats her hand away. 

But at the word sex, Clarke glances at Lincoln her eyes widening a bit. “Me and Lexa aren’t having sex. I mean-... we haven’t...” she says, starting to ramble a bit, but just decides to shut her mouth, her face turning bright red.

Lincoln just clears his throat and looks almost as awkward as Clarke. 

“Come on Clarke, you haven’t slept with her yet?” Octavia asks with a smirk, her words slurring a bit.

“Alright, let’s go over here.” Clarke mumbles, grabbing the drunk girl and pulling her away from Bellamy and Lincoln before she embarrasses her even more or gets her in trouble with her girlfriend’s brother. 

 

\---

Clarke is standing at the kitchen counter trying really hard to pour herself and Octavia a drink without spilling it. She’s seeing double of the cup and it’s making it a little tricky. But somehow she manages and feels pretty proud of herself as she brings it up to her lips to taste it. It’s not terrible, but that’s probably because she’s too drunk to really care anymore.

She feels someone come up pretty close behind her and just assumes that it’s Octavia. So she spins around, offering the cup out to the girl, but just about drops it when she sees Raven standing behind her staring at her. “Raven,” she says surprised. 

Raven just looks at her and Clarke can tell that she’s pretty wasted by the way her eyes are glazed over. But Clarke can’t say much at this point because she’s pretty drunk as well. “Is your girlfriend at her stupid hot sisters this weekend?” Raven asks simply, her words pretty slurred. 

Clarke furrows her brows for a brief second trying to focus on the girl in front of her and her question. “Yes.” She says simply, not really sure why Raven is asking. 

“Good so I can actually enjoy being in my own room for a few days.” She says, her voice filled with a little venom. Which isn’t surprising considering how pissed off she’s been the last few days. Clarke is just surprised that she’s talking to her at all, but she is pretty drunk. 

“Raven can we talk?” Clarke asks, though she knows that it’s probably not a good idea considering how drunk they both are. Either it’ll end up in another fight or neither of them will remember it in the morning anyway. 

Raven just lets out a huff and grabs a bottle of beer from the tub filled with ice on the counter. “I just want to dance.” She says simply as she pops the cap of her beer off, letting it fall to the ground carelessly. 

“Okay well can we talk tomorrow or something?” Clarke asks, swaying a bit. 

Raven looks thoughtful for a moment as she chugs down half of her beer. “Maybe.” She finally says, before turning and walking away.

It’s not exactly a yes, but it’s more than Clarke was expecting. Even though she’s not sure if Raven will still want to talk in the morning or not. Or even if she’ll even remember saying that she was considering talking to them. 

Deciding not to let the little run in get to her, she heads back into the living room to try and find Octavia. She spots her over in the corner talking to Lincoln again. Clarke lets out a sigh and hopes that nothing about her and Lexa is being talked about while Octavia is drunk. Because who knows what she’ll say to him and she really doesn’t feel like getting punched. Even though Lincoln doesn’t seem like the type to hit a girl. He may not care when it comes to Lexa though.

Clarke wouldn’t care. 

She’d hit anyone for Lexa if she needed to.

\---  
Clarke wakes up with a groan, her head pounding. She blinks her eyes a few times, trying to adjust to the light, but regrets it as soon as it makes her headache intensify. “Oh my God, I hate my life,” she mumbles, bringing her arms up to cover up her face. 

With a sigh, she looks over to Octavia’s bed and sees her roommate gone. She’s confused for a second, because she’s pretty sure she remembers the girl coming home with her last night. Most of the night is a blur, but she remembers bits and pieces of the two of them stumbling home with Bellamy following them to make sure they made it back okay. 

She glances over at the clock and realizes that it’s almost 2 pm. That explains it a little better. She’d probably already gotten up and went to have breakfast or something. Clarke starts to slowly sit up and then suddenly remembers that Lexa had told her she could Skype her at 2 today. 

She practically jumps out of bed at this point, her hangover suddenly not as bad as it had been. Though, she still feels it a little bit so she grabs some Advil out of the cabinet and swallows a few of them down, chugging a bottle of water along with it.

She grabs a box of crackers sitting on Octavia’s dresser and then plops down on her bed, stuffing a few in her mouth. When she sees the clock hit 2, she immediately grabs her laptop and opens it, excited to get to talk to her girlfriend.

Clarke waits as patiently as she can, listening to the ringing noise of the skype call. She stares at the screen for what feels like forever waiting on Lexa to answer the call. Even though it’s probably only been a few seconds. She hadn’t seen her girlfriend in a day and as sad as it is, she already misses her like crazy.

Finally after a few more seconds, the screen pops up as well as Lexa’s face. She has her hair pulled back in a ponytail and her face is red and covered in sweat. She’s also in a sports bra, though Clarke can only see the top of her bare stomach. It’s still enough to make her lose all thoughts momentarily. “Hey, Clarke.” She greets with a smile and a wave. 

“Have you been working out?” Clarke asks, her eyes following a bead of sweat down the girl’s neck. Though she catches herself following it a little too low and quickly shakes her head, bringing her eyes back up to meet green. 

“Sort of.” Lexa nods. “I’ve been with my trainer.” She answers simply. 

“You have a trainer?” Clarke asks, surprised. She knew that Lexa was fit, but she didn’t realize that she had a trainer and everything. 

“For MMA.” Lexa responds, making Clarke’s eyes widen even more. She had not been expecting that. 

“Wait, you do MMA?” She asks in shock. “You don’t seem like the type.” Clarke responds honestly, though she has a smile on her face. It’s definitely not a bad surprise to find out about her girlfriend. “How long have you been doing it?”

Lexa just shrugs her shoulders and reaches off the camera for a towel and wipes her face. “Well I started taking karate when I was little just because I was bullied a lot and it made me feel better.” She explains, making Clarke frown. She’s aware that her girlfriend was bullied, but she doesn’t like being reminded of it. “And then when I was 14 I started doing MMA and just really liked it.” She says, tossing her towel to the side. 

Clarke just lets out a hum and continues to let her eyes trace over Lexa’s body.

“Are you upset?” Lexa asks, because she always has a hard time being able to tell. “Anya was really mad when she found out.” 

“What?” Clarke asks, shaking herself from her thoughts of Lexa all sweaty and fighting. “Um no, of course not.” She says honestly. “It’s actually really hot.” 

Lexa blushes bright red at the realization. Clarke wasn’t quiet because she was upset, she was quiet because she was turned on by it. “Oh.” Lexa says simply, her eyes darting away from Clarke, though a small little smile forms on her face. She’s never really been thought off as hot by anyone before so it always makes her feel good when Clarke makes comments like that. 

Clarke just giggles at the girl’s adorable reaction.”You are quite the mystery Lexa Woods.” She responds with an affectionate smile. Lexa just looks away again, a little embarrassed, making the blonde chuckle at her. “So anyway, how is your weekend so far?” Clarke asks, leaning back on her bed and adjusting the laptop a little to get more comfortable. 

“It’s good.” She smiles with a nod. “Anya is pretty busy with work today so I haven’t seen her much.” She says with a frown and Clarke can tell how upset the girl actually is by it. “But I spent all of yesterday afternoon and night with her and we went for a jog this morning.” She says, the smile returning to her face. 

“Jogging and MMA, no wonder you look the way you do.” Clarke says with a smirk, making Lexa once again blush. “Oh by the way, I met your brother last night.” Clarke says, remembering the encounter with the boy. 

“You met Lincoln?” She asks, her eyes widening slightly. 

Clarke nods in response. “He gave the whole if you hurt her I’ll kill you speech.” She says, and Lexa just continues to look worried. “But, I’ve got to say, Anya is still way more scary than he is. He was like a teddy bear compared to her.” She says with a chuckle. 

This makes Lexa relax a bit and she laughs as well. Lincoln may be protective as well, but he’s mostly all bark. If it came down to it, he’d do anything to protect her, and that’s been proven in the past. But for the most part, he’s pretty against violence. “He looks a lot scarier than he actually is.” She informs the blonde. 

Clarke hums in agreement, thinking back to the muscled man with tattoos all over his body. “Want to know what the weird thing is? He’s Bellamy’s old roommate and Bellamy is Octavia’s big brother.” She says matter of fact. 

“I’ve heard about Bellamy, but I haven’t ever met him.” Lexa returns. 

“I just think it’s really weird how all of us seem to be connected to each other somehow.” Clarke says honestly. “But maybe it’s just fate. Like we’re all supposed to know each other.” Clarke says with a smile. Maybe it’s a little sappy, but she thinks it also may be true. 

“Maybe.” Lexa smiles back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so let me know if I've just completely lost the flow or anything for this story. I lost inspiration like I said and it's been so long. I'm just worried this chapter sucked. So let me know!
> 
> tumblr: all-the-fictional-lesbians.tumblr.com


	13. Chapter 13

Clarke stands as patiently as she can in front of Lexa’s door, waiting on the girl to answer her. She’d texted her about 10 minutes ago to let her know that she was pulling up to the dorms with Anya. The blonde had wanted to run outside right at that moment, but decided to just let her say her goodbyes to her sister and to get inside of her room to get situated, before Clarke comes barging in. 

It’d been the longest 10 minutes of her life. 

Finally the door opens, revealing the girl she hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. Maybe she’d kept count down to the minute. But maybe she hadn’t. 

Because that’d be weird. 

Clarke practically launches herself at Lexa, wrapping her arms around the girl’s waist, holding her tightly. She feels Lexa a bit tense against her and it makes her frown a little because Lexa has started getting to the point, to where she usually doesn’t get tense when Clarke touches her anymore.

But she decides against saying anything and holds her a little longer before pulling away to look at the girl. “I missed you so much,” she says with a happy smile. Maybe it’s pathetic how much she missed her, considering they’ve only been dating for a short amount of time. But she can’t help how she feels.

She leans in a places a soft kiss against Lexa’s lips, but still notices how tense the girl seems to be. And she doesn’t think that it’s from the kiss itself. “Are you alright?” She questions when Lexa doesn’t seem as excited to see her as she’d expected. 

But maybe she’s just upset from telling Anya bye. She knows how close Lexa is to her older sister and how much she hates being away from her.

Lexa bites her lip and glances behind her at something before looking back at Clarke. It makes the blonde follow her line of sight, over to what she’s looking at out of curiosity. It’s then that she notices Raven laying on her bed on the opposite side of the room.

“Did she do anything?” Clarke asks quietly, visually looking Lexa up and down to make sure she’s alright. Not that she really thinks that Raven would actually touch Lexa. But, you never know. She’s still just protective over the girl. Especially with everything that is going on right now.

“I didn’t touch your little girlfriend.” Raven speaks up, startling Clarke and Lexa a little. Clarke hadn’t thought the girl would be able to hear her.

Clarke takes in a breath and steps into the room, letting Lexa close the door behind her. She stares at Raven who hasn’t looked over at her since she’d noticed her presence. She’s got her eyes glued to a book. 

Clarke isn’t really sure what to say to her. 

Or if she should say anything at all. 

“Hey, Rae.” She greets and then winces, because maybe she shouldn’t have used her nickname for the girl. 

“Hey.” Raven says back simply, in a monotone voice, still not looking away from the book in her hands. 

Clarke frowns, but can’t be too upset. It’s a step at least.

She turns back to Lexa and sees the girl standing timidly behind her, looking a little nervous. And she understands why. She hasn’t had to deal with Raven in a while. And she hasn’t had to deal with her really at all since everything happened and Raven found out about them. 

“Come here.” Clarke says quietly to her, extending her hand out to Lexa. She squeezes Lexa’s hand and pulls her closer to her, letting her hands fall on the brunette’s waist. “It’s okay.” Clarke whispers to her, trying to ease her nerves a little. Though she’s sure that telling her that isn’t really going to help. But she’s not exactly sure what will. 

Lexa still doesn’t say anything to Clarke and just twitches her lips a little from side to side. A habit that Clarke had seen her do multiple times. 

“Come sit with me.” Clarke says, guiding the girl over to her bed. She sits down on the edge and pulls Lexa down next to her, facing away from Raven. She laces her fingers with the brunette’s and gives her hand another gentle squeeze. “How’d the last of your weekend with Anya, go?” She asks, hoping that talking about Anya might help her relax a bit. 

“Good.” Lexa says simply, nodding her head. “We went to the beach really early this morning and looked for seashells.” she says with a smile. And Clarke is thankful for that smile. “I was obsessed with them when I was little. She used to take me at 5 or 6 in the morning because that’s the best time to find the good ones. They wash up during the night so you have to get there before everyone else.” She explains, her body visibly relaxing as she talks. 

“I like seashells too.” Clarke tells her with a smile. “They’re beautiful. You’ll have to show me the ones you found.” she informs her, reaching out and brushing a piece of wild curly hair, behind Lexa’s ear.

“They’re at Anya’s.” Lexa replies simply. “I have a really big collection of them there.” 

“Well maybe one day when Anya doesn’t hate my guts, I can go there with you.” Clarke says with a small smirk. She’d love to be able to go with Lexa to her sister’s house. She wants to spend time with her and get to know her sister and actually have a good relationship with her as well. She knows how much Anya means to Lexa and how close they are. She’d hate for Anya to never warm up to her. She’s just not sure how long that is going to take. If it ever even happens. 

“I’d like that.” Lexa replies, smiling softly at the blonde. 

Clarke glances over at Raven to see her still lying on the bed, flipping the page of the book she’s reading, paying them no attention. She chews on her lip and debates on saying something to her because this is the first time she’s really been in a room with her. Besides at the party, but they were both drunk. But she doesn’t want to start anything in front of Lexa. Especially when she can already feel that Lexa is nervous. 

She’s just surprised that Raven hasn’t left the room yet. 

“Hey, you want to watch some Netflix or something?” Clarke suggests, figuring that Lexa probably would like to just relax for the night. Especially since she’s been up since the crack of dawn, apparently. 

Lexa just nods her head and gives her girlfriend a small smile. She glances over at Raven who still isn’t paying them any attention and lets out a relieved sigh. Looking back over at Clarke, she sees the blonde getting comfortable against the headboard of her bed, Lexa’s laptop on her lap. 

“Well, get over here.” Clarke tells her with a chuckle, motioning for Lexa to come and sit next to her. 

Lexa grins and moves up on the bed, sitting herself down next to Clarke.

“Put it over there.” Clarke says, reaching across Lexa to put the laptop down on the bed next to them and off of either one of their laps. “We’re cuddling.” She then says with a smile, turning her body and practically draping herself across Lexa. Though she did take a second to make sure she didn’t feel Lexa get too tense or make any sign of protesting.

The brunette doesn’t seem to mind though. She just smiles and wraps her arms around Clarke, pulling her even closer to her. 

“Hey Raven, just let us know if it’s too loud or anything.” Clarke says, looking over at her friend. Or at least someone she hopes is still her friend.

The girl just lets out a grunting noise, still not looking up from the book she’d been so absorbed in. Clarke still thinks this is a pretty big step though. Raven being in the same room as her. Even if she’s not talking to her. Or even really acknowledging her presence. 

It only takes a few minutes into the movie before Clarke is already uninterested. Or it’s not so much that she’s uninterested, it’s just that she’s more interested in her girlfriend whom she hadn’t seen in days. She looks up at Lexa and notices that her eyes are droopy and she looks like she’s having a hard time staying awake. She looks like a little puppy dog, bobbing its head up and down, fighting off sleep.

It’s adorable.

Clarke lets out a small giggle, making Lexa open her eyes fully and look down at her. “Are you tired?” Clarke asks, moving a hand up to caress Lexa’s cheek gently. 

Lexa takes in a deep breath through her nose and nods her head. “I don’t want to sleep though.” She says, and even her voice gives away that she’s exhausted. 

“Why not?” Clarke asks, furrowing her brows. “I don’t mind.” 

“I don’t want to miss anything. I want to be awake when I’m with you.” She responds matter of fact. 

Clarke didn’t think that she could swoon anymore for this girl, but it definitely just happened. She pushes her body up just a little to where she’s nose to nose with Lexa, her hand still caressing her cheek. “You’re sweet.” She says softly, looking into forest green eyes. “But I’m not going anywhere, you can sleep if you want.” She lets her know. 

Lexa’s eyes can’t seem to focus, between moving from eye to eye and even down to Clarke’s lips. And Clarke isn’t unaware of this. “I don’t want to.” She says with finality. 

Clarke just nods her head in response and leans in the final inch, pressing their lips together. She feels Lexa’s body completely relax into her, and it makes her smile into the kiss. The girl had been tense ever since she’d gotten to her room and all she wants to do is help her relax.

Pressing her body even closer to Lexa’s, she deepens the kiss, letting her tongue meet Lexa’s. The familiar tingling sensation shoots through both of them as they see fireworks behind their eyes. Just like every time they kiss. And neither are sure if that’ll ever go away. Not that either of them want it to go away. 

Clarke slides her hand down from Lexa’s face and grips onto the brunette’s hip. She pulls on the girl a bit until Lexa is on her side as well. 

She slides her hand up Lexa’s side and then around to her back, pulling her impossibly close to her. She feels Lexa’s fingers tangling in her hair and when one of those long fingers caresses the back of her neck, it sends chills down her spine. She’s been taking this extremely slow with Lexa, because she knows how she is with the physical stuff and she doesn’t want to freak her out. 

But Clarke isn’t used to waiting this long, especially with someone who she wants so badly. She’s just really worried that she’s going to take it too far and set the girl off. She’d thought about having a conversation with Lexa about it, but that just seems a little awkward. Though she knows she needs to buck up and just do it.

Pulling away from Lexa’s lips, she moves her kisses down the girl’s long slender neck. Her hands keep moving up and down the girl’s side and around to her back, not being able to keep them still. She feels Lexa’s head tilt to the side, giving her better access, and it just spurs her on even more to continue nipping and sucking a little harder at the soft milky flesh.

Clarke’s mind is clouded with arousal and excitement by this point and she just wants more. She feels completely drunk off of Lexa and she loves it. 

Alcohol has nothing on Lexa. 

Sliding her hand even lower, she cups Lexa’s ass in her hands. She pauses for just a millisecond, realizing what she’s doing and even stops kissing Lexa’s neck to look up at her. But Lexa still has her eyes closed and seems to be in a daze and obviously not bothered by the fact that Clarke has her hands lower than she’s had them before. 

Lexa’s eyes flutter open after she realizes that Clarke has stopped kissing her. She’s about to question it but before she can, Clarke’s lips meet hers once again in a hungry kiss. She lets out a moan into Clarke’s mouth and would almost be embarrassed by it, if she didn’t like what Clarke was doing so much. And how good she was making her feel.

Clarke keeps her hands on Lexa’s firm ass, massaging her over her sweatpants. She pulls her even closer to her body and throws one leg over Lexa’s to get her even closer to her as she continues kissing the girl, almost desperate with need. She’s always been more of an ass girl than anything else. And she can’t lie and say she hasn’t found herself checking out Lexa’s ass on multiple occasions. And now taking this step forward is just turning her on even more and making her want Lexa even more.

“Wow, okay. I’m out of here.” They suddenly hear a voice say, breaking them apart with a start.

It takes both girls a few seconds to get their bearings and come out of the daze that they’d been in. And when they do, they see Raven on the other side of the room, quickly putting her shoes on. She then grabs her bag and gives them one more look before storming out of the dorm room. 

Clarke wants to feel bad, but in the moment, all she can do is laugh. When she turns to look at Lexa, the girl’s face is as red as a tomato. It makes her stop laughing, or at least try and control it because she can tell how embarrassed Lexa is. 

“I completely forgot that she was in the room.” Clarke says, another giggle escaping her lips. Lexa just chews on her bottom lip, her eyes looking down. “Hey,” Clarke says gently, cupping Lexa’s face in her hand and trying to guide her head up to look at her. “Don’t be embarrassed, it’s okay.” She says with a gentle smile. “We got a little carried away, but it happens.” She continues. “Plus, I was enjoying myself...” she adds with a smile, hoping to get Lexa to smile as well. 

And it works. “Me too,” she admits with a shy smile. 

“Was that okay? I didn’t go too far or make you uncomfortable did I?” Clarke asks gently. She pulls her hand away from Lexa’s face and lets it rest on the girl’s hip, caressing her side with her thumb softly. 

“I liked it.” Lexa says matter of fact. “It felt nice. You make me feel good.” She informs her truthfully. And maybe she’s a little surprised that Lexa didn’t get too shy to admit that, but she also knows that Lexa is pretty blunt most of the time because of the Asperger’s. Which is a good thing in her book. She likes knowing exactly how Lexa feels.

Clarke also can’t help but grin widely at the admission. “Good.” She says with a firm nod. “And you make me feel really good too, Lexa.” She returns just as honest.

Lexa smiles back at her and lets her head fall to the side a bit, leaning against the headboard of her bed. Clarke can tell that she still looks sleepy, but she also knows that Lexa doesn’t want to go to sleep right now. And she’s not going to make her, but she also feels like the girl should get some rest. 

“I’m not even sure what is happening in this show.” Clarke says, turning her attention over to the laptop, where they still have Netflix playing. 

Lexa looks over at the laptop as well and just giggles. “Me either.” She responds honestly. It’s a TV show they came across, just scrolling through popular series section and neither of them had ever watched it before. “I could start it over.” She offers, reaching out to pause the show and then start it over again. 

“Okay,” Clarke says with a breathy sigh. She reaches behind her and pulls out her cellphone from her back pocket. “I should probably text Raven and apologize or something.” She says with a small smirk. She feels a little bad, and not just because they got a little carried away while Raven was in the room. But also because they’re already having problems, those problems being, Clarke and Lexa together. So that just made it even worse. 

Lexa just makes herself comfortable on the bed, keeping her arms around Clarke, as the blonde sends an apology out to Raven. She gazes sleepily at the computer screen as the show starts over, the opening credits making her even more tired.

Clarke puts her phone over on Lexa’s nightstand after sending out a text to Raven. She doesn’t figure that Raven is going to text her back, but she does have it on loud, just in case. She’d wanted to try and actually talk more to Raven while they were in the same room, but she’d decided against it. For one, she was worried about Lexa, because she’d been so on edge. 

And two, it was already a step forward that Raven was in her dorm room, especially while Clarke was in there. So obviously, giving her space was working. She doesn’t want to push her luck and push Raven too far. She’s still going to sit back and let Raven come to her when she’s ready.

Deciding not to think about it anymore, she turns all of her focus back over to Lexa. She looks up at the girl to give her a smile, and honestly she’s hoping for another kiss. They’d gotten interrupted, but that doesn’t mean that she’s not willing to try and get them back in the mood. Not that she’d take it as far as sex with Lexa right now, probably. But another make out session with some groping, definitely is something she wants to do right now. 

However, when she looks up at the girl, she sees that Lexa’s eyes are all the way shut. She furrows her own brows and brings her hand up, tracing Lexa’s jaw with her finger gently. “Lex,” she says quietly, wanting to see if maybe she’s still awake. Though, she doesn’t want to be too loud and wake her up if she’s not awake. 

And when the girl doesn’t respond, Clarke gets her answer. Especially after noticing the light almost snore like noises that are coming from her girlfriend. It makes her grin widely at her adorableness. 

She reaches over the laptop and turns the volume down a bit so that she can still hear it, but it doesn’t wake Lexa up. She then cuddles into the brunette’s side and let’s out a content sigh. 

Sure, she’d wanted another makeout session with the girl, but cuddling with her is just as good.

Anything with Lexa is perfect. 

\---

“Hey mom,” Clarke greets as she hears her mother answer the phone on the other side of the line. She kicks her shoes off and lies back on her bed, letting out a sigh. She’d had a pretty grueling test today in one of her classes and the others just seemed to drag on forever. It’s safe to say that she had a long, tiring day. Now all she wants to do is take a nap. Or maybe see what Lexa is doing and cuddle up with her.

Yeah, she definitely wants to do that.

“Hey honey,” Abby replies with a smile. “I wasn’t sure if you were still alive or not.” She says, making Clarke roll her eyes. She pulls herself out of her thoughts of Lexa and tries to focus on her mother.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t called in a few days.” She says with another sigh. “School is just keeping me busy.” She says, which isn’t a complete lie. It’s her freshman year and she’s still trying to get the hang of this college thing. It’s way different than high school. Plus, all the drama with her friends and everything has had her a little preoccupied. 

Abby just lets out a hum on the other end of the phone line making Clarke think that she doesn’t believe her. “Is this about Lexa? Is she why you don’t have any time for your mother?” She asks making Clarke’s eyes just about pop out of her head. 

“How do you know about Lexa?” She asks, trying to wrack her brain to remember if she’d said anything to her mom about her girlfriend. She’s pretty sure that she’d remember that conversation. Mostly because her mother wouldn’t have been able to shut up about it and would have asked her a million questions. It’s why she hasn’t said anything to her as far as she can remember. 

“Because my other children actually call me.” Abby answers back simply. “I have to hear about what is going on with you through them.” She adds and Clarke can sense the scolding tone she’s using. She can only imagine the look on her mother’s face right now as she shakes her head disapprovingly.

Clarke just clears her throat and sits up on her bed. “I’m sorry.” She finally says, not really having any excuses. “I just didn’t want to make a big deal about it until it was serious.” She says with a small shrug, even though her mom can’t see her. 

“Okay well, from what I hear you’re pretty head over heels for this girl.” She responds and Clarke rolls her eyes, cursing her friends under her breath. 

Clarke lies back down on her bed, trying to relax. She really didn’t want to have this conversation with her mom right now, but apparently they’re going to. “I really like her mom.” She admits softly. “She’s absolutely gorgeous, like I don’t even know how she’s so pretty.” She says with a dream like sigh. “And she’s insanely smart and funny even though she doesn’t try to be and has no idea that she is.” She continues describing her. 

She can’t see the huge grin that Abby is sporting on the other end of the phone as she listens to her daughter describe her girlfriend. She’s never heard Clarke talk about any of the people that she’d dated this way before. She’d barely even sounded interested in half of them. “She sounds wonderful, Clarke.” Abby tells her, still sporting her grin. “I want to meet her.”

“You will.” Clarke informs her. “I just don’t know when.” She says honestly. 

“Well you could always see if she’d want to come home with you for Thanksgiving.” She suggests. 

Clarke chews on her lip and thinks it over, but ends up shaking her head. “I’m sure that she will want to go home for the Holidays.” She says, knowing how close her and her sister are. And she’s not really sure about parents or other family. But she does know that she will more than likely want to be with Anya. “But, I promise you will meet her mom.” She reassures her.

“Okay.” Abby says, seeming to accept the answer. 

“So...” Clarke starts, but then pauses, not really sure what all her mother knows. “Have you talked to Raven recently?” she asks, trying to sound as casual as possible. 

“I have.” Abby says simply, and in her answer, Clarke knows that she pretty much knows everything. She probably even knows more than Clarke does. Raven has always been pretty close with her mom and talked to her about pretty much everything. She was always the one that Raven would go to when she needed support. Usually even over her friends. It didn’t really bother Clarke that much, because she’s at least happy that Raven had someone to go to and that she finally got a mother figure.

“I’m not sure what she’s told you, but is she at least doing okay?” Clarke asks, hoping to get a little information out of her mom. “She won’t talk to us.”

She hears Abby let out a sigh and it makes Clarke wince. “She’ll be fine, Clarke.” Abby answers, and it relieves Clarke a little, but she still wants to hear more. “I’ve been talking to her, and she’s going through some things right now but she’s coming around. You know she just needs time to process things and think a little sometimes.” She says, and Clarke nods her head because she does know that. 

“Octavia is worried that she’s never going to come back to us.” Clarke says honestly. 

“She will.” Abby responds, and the confidence in her voice makes Clarke actually believe her. “She still loves you guys, which is why she’s so hurt. But she will come back to you when she’s ready.” 

“Okay.” Clarke replies simply with a heavy sigh. “I suppose that’s good enough for now.” She says, knowing she’s probably not going to get much more out of her mother. Or be able to change anything between her and Raven right now.

There’s a pause on the line for a few seconds and Clarke can hear her mom making a little bit of noise on the other end. Which means she’s a little distracted, because normally she’s talking Clarke’s ear off. But the break in conversation actually gave Clarke a minute to realize that she wants to ask her mother something. She’d thought about asking her before, but she hadn’t been sure if she wanted to. But now that she knows about Lexa, she supposes it doesn’t matter. 

“Hey mom?” She asks, wanting to gain the older woman’s attention again. When she hears the woman let out a humming noise in response, she chews on her lip in thought. “Do you know anything about Asperger's Syndrome?” 

Abby lets out another hum before responding with actual words and Clarke knows that she’s thinking. She’s not really sure if Raven or Octavia had mentioned Lexa having Asperger’s. “I wouldn’t say that I’m an expert on the subject, but I do know a little.” She responds. 

“You’re a doctor.” Clarke returns, a little disappointed that her mother didn’t know more about it.

She hears the woman chuckle on the other line. “Clarke, I’m a Cardiothoracic surgeon. That sort of thing isn’t exactly in my field.” She responds matter of fact. “But why do you want to know? Do you need something for a class?” She asks curiously. 

“No.” Clarke responds simply. “Lexa has Asperger’s.” 

“I see.” Abby responds, her voice gentle, and not full of any judgment. Which Clarke isn’t exactly surprised. Her mother has never been the type to judge anyone. Though, she thought that the woman may have some reservations about her daughter dating her. “Well, it’s nice that you’re trying to learn more about it.” She adds, pulling Clarke from her thoughts. “I could probably dig up some stuff for you. Talk to a few co-workers.” She says, making Clarke smile. 

“Thank you, mom.” She says sincerely. “I read a little online, and I’ve talked to her a little, but I just want to know as much as I can.”

“I’ll have a co-worker reach out to you that will know more about it than I do. I’ll give her your email and I’m sure that she’ll be happy to answer anything that you want to know.” 

“Thanks.” She says once again, feeling pretty happy that she’ll have someone to talk to about it. She feels a little awkward asking Lexa a million questions about it, because she’s sure that Lexa doesn’t want to just sit there and talk about it all day. Even though, she probably wouldn’t really mind. Clarke just doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries. 

\---

Clarke is wrapped up in the painting that she’s currently working on in her room, trying to tune out the loud music that Octavia is blasting on her side of the room. Normally she likes to listen to music while she works, but at a certain volume. And also, her and Octavia don’t exactly have the same taste in music.

But it’s one of the things she has to deal with, having a roommate. It could be a lot worse. At least she got her best friend. 

“What the hell is that?” She hears a voice ask, making her snap out of her thoughts. She looks up from the painting that she’d been absorbed in and realizes that she hadn’t even heard Octavia walk up behind her. And the raven haired girl has a very confused look on her face. 

It makes Clarke frown. “It’s Surrealism.” She answers, looking back down at her painting and tilting her head to the side, inspecting it. Was it really that bad? “It’s a project for class.” She says with a sigh. “It kind of sucks, doesn’t it?” 

Octavia just shrugs her shoulders. “It doesn’t suck. It’s just not nearly as good as you normally paint. And it’s just...not you. I don’t know how to explain it.” She says with a frown of her own.

“Well, Surrealism isn’t exactly what I like to paint, anyway.” She says honestly. “But, I guess I’ve also been a little distracted lately.” She adds with a small sigh. “Between Raven, classes, Lexa... and let’s not forget the big sister from hell.” She says, making Octavia smirk. 

“She can’t be that bad.” Octavia says. “I mean, you’ve met Bellamy right? And you’re friends with Raven who can be pretty bitchy too.” She says with a small smile.

Clarke just raises a brow at the girl. “Yeah, Anya’s worse.” She says honestly. “Plus, I was never trying to sleep with you or Raven’s sister, not that she even had one. So it’s a little different.” She sighs.

Octavia smirks at the blonde and nudges her a bit. “Come on, I know you’ve thought about it.” She says, teasingly. “I mean, I saw the way you looked at me back in high school.” she says with a smug grin. 

Clarke laughs and shakes her head. “I think you’re confusing me with Raven.” She says matter of fact. 

Octavia just rolls her eyes. “Raven stares at just about anyone with a heartbeat.” She says, making Clarke laugh, but not disagree. The girl doesn’t exactly sleep around a lot with people, but she definitely appreciates the human form enough for all three of them.

“But also, Bellamy would never hit a girl but Anya.. she’d probably hit me.” Clarke says, turning the conversation back over to Lexa’s protective big sister.

Octavia can’t help but laugh at that, and Clarke just frowns because it’s actually a little bit of a fear of hers. “She’s not going to hit you.” Octavia chuckles. “Her and Lexa are way too close for her to do something like that. That would upset Lexa too much.” Octavia says honestly. Sure she gets that Anya isn’t a fan of Clarke, but she also knows how siblings work. “Unless of course you hurt Lexa. But I really don’t think you’re going to do that.”

Clarke smiles back at her and shakes her head. “Believe me, the last thing I want is to see her hurt. Especially by me.” She responds truthfully. 

“I know.” Octavia tells her with a soft smile. She knows how much Clarke likes this girl, it’s completely obvious to even people who don’t know her. It’s written all over her face when she’s around the brunette or even just talks about her. Octavia would think it was disgusting if she weren’t actually happy for her best friend. 

But maybe it’s also a little disgusting too. 

A chiming from across the room pulls Octavia out of her thoughts and she glances over at her phone that is lighting up from on her bed. She makes her way to her side of the room and picks her phone up, her eyes widening at the message. “It’s Raven.” She says, shocked, turning to look at Clarke, who just raises her brows. 

“What did she say?” Clarke asks curiously. 

“She said to tell you to let Lexa know that she’s not going to be in the room tonight.” Octavia says, furrowing her brows. It’s weird that Raven would be putting the effort into reaching out to Lexa like a roommate who actually cared. Or like they were friends or something. 

“Okay, A that is just weird and B, why didn’t she just text me?” Clarke asks, completely confused by the message. 

Octavia just shrugs her shoulders and then her phone chimes again. “Wait, she sent another.” She says, opening the phone to read the new message. “She says to let you know that you can have your way with your stupid girlfriend with no interruptions.”

Clarke frowns at that. “Okay, that’s a little passive aggressive.” She says with a sigh. “But, at least she’s talking to us. That is usually step two for Raven. It means she’s missing us and wants some contact, but she’s too prideful to actually be nice.” Clarke explains and Octavia can’t help but agree with her. They know Raven way too well. 

“Maybe she’ll actually have an adult conversation with us soon.” Octavia says with a heavy sigh, laying back on her bed. She chooses not to respond to Raven, because she’s not going to enable her. 

Clarke looks at Octavia for a moment and gives her a sympathetic look. “You miss her don’t you?” she questions, walking over to the girl and sitting on the bed next to her. 

“Well, obviously.” Octavia answers with a little bit of an attitude. “She’s our best friend.”

Clarke just nods her head, but doesn’t say anything. Sure, Raven is her best friend as well and she does miss her like crazy. But she also knows that it’s affecting Octavia more than it is her. Octavia’s more sensitive than her for one thing. And also, even though they all grew up together, Raven and Octavia had always been closer to each other than to her.

They just had a special bond with each other. 

“We’ll get her back.” Clarke says, with determination. She reaches out and starts playing with Octavia’s hair, hopefully in a comforting way.

That is until she thinks of something, making her hand pause. 

“Can we talk about the fact that you told my mother about Lexa and that I’m apparently head over heels for her?” Clarke says, sending a glare down at Octavia. Though she’s not actually pissed about it. Maybe a little annoyed at first, but she’s pretty much over it.

Octavia grimaces. “Can we go back to playing with my hair and comforting me? I liked that better.” She says with an innocent smile. Clarke just rolls her eyes at her, but can’t help hide a small smile. “Look, I thought that you’d told her by now.” Octavia says honestly. “And we were talking about Raven and Lexa is sort of involved in all of this so I kind of had to tell her, to be able to tell her what happened.” She defends with a shrug.

“Okay well me being “head over heels” for her has nothing to do with Raven.” she argues back with a huff. 

Octavia smiles innocent once again. “It’s not like I’m wrong.” She says simply. 

Clarke just glares at her, because she can’t exactly argue. 

She is definitely falling fast for Lexa.

\---

Clarke feels movement against her body, pulling her out of her slumber. She’s confused for a few seconds as she tries to get a grip on reality and where she’s at. She hears mumbling from beside her, but she can’t tell what the person is trying to say. 

Though it only takes her half a second to realize that she’s in Lexa’s room because they’d fallen asleep again, watching movies earlier that night. Then it only takes her another half a second to realize that the noises and movement are also coming from her girlfriend. She quickly sits up, careful not to jar the brunette too much and startle her. She can tell that the noises coming from Lexa’s mouth are noises of distress. 

“Lexa,” she says quietly, not wanting to completely scare the girl. But loud enough to try and pull her from her sleep. “Lexa,” She says a little louder, after noticing that the brunette wasn’t waking up. And the tossing and turning was getting more frantic. “Baby, you’re having a bad dream, wake up.” Clarke says, starting to panic a little. She hates seeing Lexa in distress. Even if it’s while she’s asleep and no real harm is being done to her. 

“No! Stop!” Lexa shouts, clearer this time as she shoots up in bed, tears streaming down her face. 

“Lex,” Clarke breathes out, seeing the girl awake. She moves closer to her and wraps her arms around her girlfriend to try and calm her down. 

Though it completely does the opposite. She almost violently shoves Clarke off of her and jumps off the bed with a scream tumbling from her throat. “No! Stay away from me!” She shouts, backing herself into the corner of her dorm room. She slides down the wall and pulls her knees up to her chest, rocking herself back and forth, sounds of distress tumbling from her lips over and over. 

Clarke is shocked by the reaction and it takes her a second to recover. But when she does, she quickly makes her way over to Lexa, carefully bending down in front of her. But she notices that Lexa pushes herself further against the wall, squeezing her eyes shut tight. 

“Lexa, it’s me. It’s Clarke. I’m not going to hurt you.” Clarke says softly. “You’re okay.” She says, reaching out to gently place her hand on Lexa’s arm. But that just makes the noises tumbling from Lexa’s lips louder and the rocking motion a little more violent. She has her fingers tangled in her hair, gripping tightly to it and pulling slightly. 

Clarke doesn’t know what to do. 

“Lexa...” she says desperately. She glances over to the other side of the room, kind of wishing that Raven was actually here. Because as much as Raven hates her, she’s pretty sure that even Raven would try and help with something like this. 

She’s not completely heartless like everyone thinks. 

But Clarke is on her own. 

Each noise that tumbles from Lexa’s mouth, just breaks Clarke’s heart more and more. She has no idea what to do to calm Lexa down. She’s never seen her so distressed. It’s even worse than the time that the fire alarm had gone off. “Lexa,” she tries once again, stepping closer to her and gently touching Lexa’s arm. Just because she doesn’t know what else to do. “Lexa it’s Clarke.” She says once again, trying to get through to her. 

But Lexa jerks her arm away, almost hitting Clarke in the face, in the process. “No! Leave me alone!” Lexa shouts in what sounds like terror, as she pushes herself even further into the wall. Clarke is surprised she hasn’t cracked it and broke through yet.

Clarke gets up and starts pacing the room, trying to think of something else to try. And then it suddenly hits her. 

Anya. 

She looks at the clock and realizes that it’s a little after 3 am and Anya is probably asleep. But she also knows that Anya would obviously not mind if she called her because of her sister. She’d probably be pissed if Clarke hadn’t contacted her. 

She grabs Lexa’s phone off of her nightstand and curses when she realizes that she doesn’t know the passcode to her phone. “Shit,” she mumbles, not knowing what to do. She doesn’t know how to get into her computer either, and obviously Lexa is in no state to give out said information. “Lexa,” she says quietly, walking towards the girl again, but not getting too close. “Hey, I’m going to call Anya for you. Do you want Anya?” She tries, hoping that the mention of her big sister, may be enough to pull her out of this.

But Lexa doesn’t even acknowledge her. She just keeps rocking, the loud sounds of distress continuing to fall out of her mouth repeatedly like a broken record.

“Fuck, Lexa... I don’t know what to do.” She says desperately, even though she knows the girl isn’t really listening to her. 

She gets up again and starts pacing before moving over to the girl’s desk. She vaguely remembers seeing Lexa writing her number down in an actual paper address book one afternoon, after she’d already had it in her phone. Just because she likes to have a backup copy, in case something happens to her phone. She went on a huge rant about technology and how stressful it’d be to lose everyone’s phone numbers. Now she just has to find it.

She quickly starts going through Lexa’s drawers, trying to find said address book and it only takes her a few seconds, thanks to Lexa being so organized. “Yes!” She exclaims as she quickly starts flipping through the pages, trying to find Anya’s phone number. Which wasn’t hard because it was at the beginning. 

She grabs her phone off the nightstand and quickly dials the older girl’s number. 

She just hopes that it wakes her up. And also that she’ll answer an unknown number.

“Hello?” Anya answers with a groggy voice. 

“Anya.” Clarke says in a panic, but also relieved that the girl answered. “It’s Clarke.” 

“Clarke?” Anya just about shouts, and Clarke can hear in her voice how wide awake and afraid she is now. “What is it? Is Lexa alright? It’s almost 3:30 in the morning.” She exclaims. 

Clarke glances back over to Lexa and bites down on her lip. “She-... I don’t know.” She says, not knowing what is happening or how to explain it. “She had a nightmare and I woke her up but now she’s.. I don’t know what to do.” She says, worry still filling her whole body. Or more like panic. Worry is an understatement. 

“Clarke, put me on facetime.” Anya orders her. 

Clarke quickly does as she’s told and let’s Anya see her little sister. Hopefully Anya will know what to do and how to help her. Hopefully she can help her from miles away.

“Okay, Clarke.” Anya says, getting the girl’s attention once again. Clarke puts the camera back on her and looks at Anya, ready to be told what to do. “Grab a blanket from her bed. It’ll help with sensory overload.” She instructs and Clarke quickly moves to grab a blanket off the girl’s bed. “You need to wrap her up in it and hold her tight, alright? Put deep pressure against her body. It’ll help suppress her nervous system.” She tells her in a stern, commanding tone. 

“Anya, she doesn’t want me to touch her. It freaks her out even more.” Clarke says in a panic. “She needs you, Anya.”

Anya takes in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Because neither Clarke nor Lexa need her to be panicking right now as well. “Clarke.” She says sternly, trying to get her attention. “I’m not there. You’re all she’s got right now.” She says matter of fact, and as much as it kills her to say. “She’s going to fight you at first, but just hold her tighter. She will calm down, alright? You can do this. It’s okay.” She says, trying her best to help Clarke out. She doesn’t exactly like the blonde, but right now she’s the only one who can help her little sister. 

Clarke just nods her head firmly and sets her phone down on Lexa’s nightstand to where Anya can still see them. She looks at the girl for a few seconds, before taking in a deep breath and stepping towards her. She crouches down beside her and tries wedging one arm with the blanket in her hand, behind Lexa. 

The sounds coming from Lexa’s mouth get louder again and Clarke can feel her body shaking violently. It makes her want to stop, but she remembers what Anya told her. So she continues wedging herself behind the girl until she gets to where she can wrap her arms around Lexa.

Lexa swings her arms around, trying to fight Clarke off of her and Clarke is surprised at how strong the girl is. Not that she should be, considering she works out and also informed her that she does MMA. At this point, Clarke isn’t sure that she’ll be able to hold Lexa down long enough to calm her. 

“Talk to her, Clarke.” Anya instructs from the phone. 

Clarke gets a grip on Lexa and wraps her in the blanket, successfully trapping her arms, though she’s still struggling hard against her. “Lexa... baby, it’s me. It’s Clarke.” She says soothingly. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” She repeats softly, over and over in the girl's ear as she tries to hold her down.

Clarke manages to wedge herself even more behind Lexa, now that she’s moving her body pretty erratically, she’s come out from the wall more. She forces her arms tighter around the brunette, clasping her hands together in front, to help keep the grip on the fighting girl, whose arms are now trapped in the blanket, but still putting up a fight. 

“Lexa.. I’m right here, I’ve got you. You’re safe.” Clarke whispers, tears stinging her eyes at how distressed her girlfriend is. She hates this and she just wants her to be okay and to feel safe. She doesn’t like seeing her so scared and panicked. It’s breaking her heart. “Anya’s here too, it’s okay.” 

After a minute of Clarke holding the girl so tight, she’s surprised that she can breathe, Lexa seems like she might be calming down. She’s still making those heart wrenching sounds that are between a moan, a groan and a scream. Clarke isn’t really sure, but she knows that every sound sends a chill straight to her bones. 

But she’s not putting up as much of a fight. She’s like a toy that is winding down, her movements getting weaker and weaker by the second, until she just about collapses. But Clarke’s got her, she keeps holding her tightly. She pulls the girl’s now limp body against her and starts whispering in her ear. “It’s okay baby. I’ve got you.” 

“Just keep holding her tight, Clarke.” Anya tells her, even though she’s pretty sure that Clarke has no plan on letting go of her anytime soon. 

Clarke can still feel Lexa’s body trembling against her, and she nuzzles her nose into the girl’s neck, just trying to be as close to her as possible. And to do anything that she can to make Lexa feel better. “You’re safe, baby. You’re okay.” She whispers. She can feel the girl fidgeting against her, but she’s not trying to fight her. She just seems a little agitated. 

After a couple of more minutes, the noises that Lexa had been making start to die down as well. Now she’s just pretty much whimpering into Clarke’s shoulder. But she seems like she’s come back down to Earth, because she’s turned her body more into Clarke to be able to bury her face in the girl’s neck. Clarke takes that as a good sign. It’s like she’s finally realized that it’s just Clarke there and she’s safe.

At least she’s not pushing her away anymore. She seems to be seeking out comfort now. 

And Clarke is here to give her as much as she needs. 

Clarke lets go with one hand and brings it up to run her fingers through Lexa’s curly hair. “You’re okay, Lexa,” She says, keeping her calming tone. “I’m right here.” 

“Clarke,” Lexa whimpers, both relieving Clarke and breaking her heart at the same time.

“I’m right here,” Clarke says calmly. She gently brings her hands to Lexa’s face and guides her to look up at her. Her eyes are watery and she has tear marks going down her cheeks. She can also still see a little bit of fear in those beautiful green eyes, but she’s significantly more calm. “I’ve got you baby.” 

Lexa adjusts herself some more, and Clarke lets her turn in her arms, and wraps herself around the blonde. Clarke just wraps her arms back around Lexa in turn. “Clarke, I’m sorry,” Lexa whispers, tiredly, letting her head fall back down on Clarke’s shoulder. 

“Hey, don’t be sorry,” Clarke tells her, running her fingers through Lexa’s hair again.

Lexa just lets out a heavy exhale through her nose and relaxes into Clarke more. 

“Let’s get you into bed.” Clarke says gently, starting to get up. She helps Lexa stand as well and walks the exhausted girl over to her bed, where Lexa just about collapses. Clarke climbs in with her and lets Lexa curl up against her side. 

“Anya,” the brunette says, her voice weak and barely above a whisper. Clarke barely hears her, but she does and it reminds her that Anya is still on the phone. She grabs her phone off the nightstand and holds it above them to see Anya staring at them, looking a little more relaxed but still a little on edge. 

“Hey baby girl.” Anya says with a smile. “You should get some sleep, alright? Call me tomorrow.” She says softly with a smile. 

Lexa just nods her head, not having enough energy to argue. Having episodes like that or meltdowns, always take a lot out of her. Sometimes, she’ll find herself sleeping for hours longer than she normally would after. It just completely drains her whole body.

Clarke stares down at Lexa for a few moments, watching as her breathing starts to even out and she’s pretty sure that she’s already fallen back asleep. She then looks over at Anya a bit nervously, because she’s not really sure what to say to her. She’s still reeling from everything that just happened. Still trying to process it all. 

“Clarke, is it okay if you keep me on the phone until I know she’s not going to wake back up.” Anya asks, hopefully. 

“Yeah, of course.” Clarke tells her, not really minding. She gets it. She’s just as worried about Lexa as she is. And it’s even worse for Anya, being so many miles away right now. At least Clarke has her in her arms and knows that she’s safe. 

They lie there for a few more seconds and Clarke just about falls asleep as well, until Anya speaks up again. “Hey, Clarke?” She asks, getting the blonde attention who just lets out a humming noise. “Thank you. You were amazing.” She admits, and Clarke can tell that it’s hard for her to say such nice things to her. “I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there.” 

Clarke gives her a sleepy smile, “Let’s not think about that. I was here.” She says matter of fact. “And I’ll do anything for her.” 

Anya nods her head, accepting that answer, but she still looks like she has something to say. It makes Clarke a little nervous. “I need to ask you something.” Anya states, finally. 

“Okay...” Clarke replies slowly. 

“Well... I know that you like Lexa.” She starts, but Clarke knows there is more coming. And maybe not anything good. “But I need to know that you’re fully in this and willing to deal with all of this.” She starts, making Clarke furrow her brows. “Lexa is an amazing person and I love her to death, but sometimes all of this can be a lot to handle. She has rough days sometimes and I just need to know right now that you’re willing to be there through all of the hard times. All relationships have struggles, but this is different. This will be extremely hard sometimes and if you’re not fully into this then you need to walk away now.” She explains, hoping that Clarke understands her. 

“Anya.” Clarke says seriously, looking the girl dead in the eye to let her know she’s taking this seriously. “I’m in this.” She says simply, but with so much confidence that Anya actually believes her.

“Okay.” Anya nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright well there you have it. And for all you with problems on my tumblr (again, you know who you are! haha) She touched the butt. 
> 
> As always let me know what you think!! And if you have anything you'd like to see, requests, suggestions or questions leave them in the comments! 
> 
> I also answer things and post things on my tumblr all-the-fictional-lesbians.tumblr.com


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm not too sure about this chapter. It's different but has also been planned for awhile. Hopefully you guys like it more than I did. I struggled for awhile on this, which is why it took so long to get posted.

Clarke glances over at the clock on Lexa’s nightstand and sees that it’s almost 7am. She rubs her eyes a bit with the hand that isn’t wrapped around Lexa. Sighing, she glances down at the brunette who is still peacefully sleeping. Clarke had stayed awake until she couldn’t any longer, just because she was afraid that Lexa was going to have another nightmare. 

But thankfully, she hadn’t. But now she’s exhausted. All she wants to do is cuddle back up to the girl’s warmth and go back to sleep. But, Lexa has an 8am class so she should probably start getting up. Though, Clarke thinks that she should skip it and just sleep in a little more.

She just doesn’t know if Lexa is going to want to do that. 

Leaning down, she places a soft kiss to Lexa’s forehead. “Lexa,” she whispers, loud enough to try and wake her, but not to startle her. “Lexa, baby, wake up.” 

She sees Lexa’s face scrunch up in annoyance and it makes her smile adoringly at the brunette. Lexa let’s out a little groan and shifts her body to cuddle even closer to Clarke. Which Clarke, obviously doesn’t mind. She hugs Lexa tighter to her with a smile, loving how affectionate the girl is being. Normally it’s Clarke that initiates everything. And though it’s probably only because Lexa is still half asleep, she’s going to enjoy the cuteness.

“Baby,” Clarke says, nuding the girl just a little. She can tell that Lexa is awake now, she just still hasn’t accepted it and opened her eyes. 

But it only takes a few minutes before her eyes flutter open. She still looks exhausted as she gazes up at Clarke with her forest green eyes. And the blonde feels a little guilty for waking her, but she’d been afraid that if she just let her sleep through class that Lexa would have been angry. 

“Hey, if you want to make it to class you need to start getting up, baby.” Clarke explains to the girl. “But, I think it may be a good idea to skip just one day and get some rest.” She says, and can already see Lexa’s brows furrowing at the idea. Even though her eyes are shut once again. “You had a long night and you look exhausted.”

Lexa sighs and opens her eyes back up, meeting Clarke’s blue eyes. “No,” she mumbles, bringing her hand up and rubbing her eyes. “I can’t miss class.” She just about whispers, her voice still thick with sleep. Clarke just wants to cuddle her and never let go. Everything about her right now is adorable. Not that she’s not always adorable. 

“Baby, I don’t think one day will hurt.” Clarke says honestly. “You’re already weeks ahead in all the readings and you’re the smartest person that I know.” She tells her with a smile. “I think that one day will be okay.” She says again, but Lexa still doesn’t look completely convinced. “Besides, don’t you think that staying here, cuddled up to me, sounds better than class anyway?” She adds with a smirk. 

Lexa can’t help but smile at Clarke’s comment and even blush a little. But she can’t deny it so she nods her head, looking at the blonde shyly. Of course that sounds better. Anything with Clarke sounds better.

“Okay, then it’s settled.” Clarke grins, not really giving Lexa anymore of an option. Though, if she really wants to get up and go to class then Clarke won’t stop her. She wouldn’t want to do anything to upset the girl. She knows how Lexa has her routines and how she actually likes going to classes. 

Lexa sighs, but doesn’t protest, which kind of surprises Clarke. But that just shows her how tired her girlfriend actually is. “You look exhausted too.” Lexa says softly, reaching up and caressing Clarke’s cheek with her fingers. Clarke just smiles down at her tiredly and nods her head a bit. “I’m sorry. That’s my fault.” She says, pulling her hand away and looking down guiltily. 

“Hey,” Clarke says with furrowed brows. She bends her head down, trying to get Lexa’s attention but the girl won’t look up at her. “I already told you that you don’t have to apologize.” Clarke says gently, using her hand to guide Lexa’s face up to look at her. And when she meets her eyes, Clarke sees tears in Lexa’s eyes, making her heart break. “Hey, it’s okay. I promise.” She says, hoping that Lexa believes her. 

Lexa nods her head. “I still feel guilty.” she says matter of fact. That’s how she feels and they both know that know matter what Clarke says, it’s not going to change. 

Clarke just gives her a soft smile. “Okay.” Clarke nods. “How about you make it up to me by cuddling and napping with me?” 

Lexa lets out a small giggle and nods her head. She adjusts her body again, to curl up around the blonde, who wraps her arms around her. She buries her face in Clarke’s neck and inhales the scent that is only Clarke. It makes her feel all tingly inside, just like pretty much anything that has to do with Clarke does. 

The smell is comforting though, and it makes her fall asleep within seconds. 

\---

When Clarke wakes the second time, she feels a lot better. She looks over at Lexa and sees her still sleeping soundly. Not wanting to bother her or wake her, she carefully reaches for her cell phone on the nightstand.

She realizes that she has a couple of missed texts and a call from Anya. She quickly opens the message up, figuring that Anya is having a heart attack until she hears from one of them to double check that Lexa is okay. 

Anya (8:51am) - How’s Lexa? 

Anya (9:03am) - Clarke?? Neither of you are answering me! What’s going on?

Anya (9:30am) - Clarke!

Clarke cringes reading the messages, and she’s surprised that Anya hasn’t gotten in her car and driven over here by now. 

Clarke (11:51am) - Hey! I’m so sorry! I convinced her to skip class for the day. She was completely exhausted and really needed the sleep. Don’t be mad about her skipping, I talked her into it.

It only takes a few seconds before Anya responds to her. Clarke is a little surprised that she’s surprised by that. She probably has been staring at her phone all morning. 

Anya (11:51 am) - I don’t care that she skipped a day, Clarke. I just want her to be okay. Thank you for taking care of her. I probably would have suggested the same, but I’m surprised you actually got her to agree. 

Clarke (11:52 am) - I’m pretty surprised as well. But, she’s fine. She hasn’t had another nightmare or anything. She’s still asleep right now. 

Anya (11:53am) - Okay. Just have her call me when she wakes up. 

Clarke (11:54 am) - I will.

Figuring that Anya and her conversation is over, Clarke decides to go to her facebook app and check for any notifications or anything. But she only sees that a few people had liked a photo she posted and that was it. Sighing, she switches over to instagram, just trying to entertain herself.

She doesn’t want to wake Lexa, because she’d looks too peaceful. Plus, Clarke knows how tired she’d been and she deserves to get some rest. Though, Clarke is starting to get a little restless. 

And hungry.

Bored with instagram as well, she puts her phone down on the bed next to her. She looks down at Lexa’s sleeping form and can’t help but smile at the beautiful girl. She reaches over and lightly ghosts her fingers over Lexa’s perfect cheek and jaw line. She’s literally the most beautiful girl that Clarke has ever seen. She doesn’t understand how Lexa doesn’t see it herself. Or how she got bullied growing up. She can’t understand how anyone wouldn’t like this girl.

The only person that she knows that doesn’t like Lexa is Raven. And that has nothing really to do with Lexa herself. Raven would have complained about any person that she got stuck with. And that’s just because she was mad that she didn’t get to room with Clarke nor Octavia. She won’t admit it, but moving away and coming to college had scared Raven and they all knew it. So it’s not surprising that she’d wanted to at least be roomed with one of her friends. 

And now she’s acting out. Out of fear and anger. It’s what she always does.

She’s pretty positive that if Raven would have met Lexa under other circumstances, she’d like her as well. It just happened to work out this way, unfortunately.

After a few minutes, Clarke had gotten lost in her thoughts of Lexa. Or more like caught up in her beauty as she’d continued to caress her face and neck softly. But, she gets pulled from that when she feels Lexa stirring against her. She shakes her head a bit to fully pull herself out of her head and back down to Earth. She snatches her hand away from Lexa, feeling a little guilty that she may be the reason that the girl is awake.

Green eyes meet blue and Clarke smiles at her girlfriend. “Morning.” She says softly. “Or should I say, afternoon.” She grins, hoping the girl is feeling a little better now that she’d gotten more rest. 

Lexa lets out a yawn, then nuzzles into Clarke a little more. “What time is it?” She mumbles, still trying to wake up. 

“A little after noon.” She responds easily. 

Lexa lets out a little humming noise, but doesn’t really make any movement after that. After another minute or two she lets out a deep exhale through her nose and looks up at Clarke, pulling away from her slightly to be able to see her better. “I haven’t slept this long in a while.” She says honestly, a bit of a frown on her face. 

“It’s okay.” Clarke shrugs. “Sometimes you need it.” She says simply, the smile still on her face. “Are you feeling better?” she asks, brushing some hair out of Lexa’s face. Her hair is already extremely curly and wild, and Clarke loves it. But it’s even wilder in the mornings and she thinks that it makes Lexa even more adorable. 

“Yeah,” Lexa says with a content sigh and a nod. She’s still feeling a little on edge and a little off just from not starting her day like she normally would. She’s missed classes and she hasn’t gotten to do her normal routine because she’s been asleep. 

But Clarke is right. She needed it. 

Clarke smiles down at the girl and nods her head, as well. “Good,” she says, happy to hear that Lexa is feeling better. She leans down and presses her lips to Lexa’s, but feels Lexa abruptly pull away from her, confusing her. “What? I’m sorry.” Clarke says, not really sure about the reaction. Maybe it’s just because she’s had a rough night and she’s still a little tense. Maybe she shouldn’t have gone that far when she’s still in this state. 

She really wasn’t trying to make her uncomfortable.

“I have morning breath!” Lexa just about shrieks, a hand clasped over her mouth so that Clarke can’t kiss her again. 

It makes Clarke start laughing pretty hard, feeling better about the reaction. “I don’t care.” She says matter of fact. She tries leaning down and kissing the girl again, but Lexa pulls the blanket up, covering most of her face, except her eyes.

Clarke pouts for a minute at the girl, before the frown turning into more of a smirk. She gets up and straddles Lexa’s waist, looking down at the brunette whose eyes widen. Though she doesn’t look freaked out or anything. Maybe a little anxious as to what she’s going to do next, but she doesn’t look scared in a bad way. Or in a panicking kind of way. 

“So it’s going to be like this?” Clarke asks with a dramatic sigh, before raising a brow at Lexa. When the brunette just nods her head, Clarke smiles at her. She tries tugging on the blanket, but Lexa keeps a tight grip on it, keeping it covering half of her face. “Alright, you leave me no choice.” She says with a mischievous grin, making Lexa’s eyes widen a little more, not sure what she’s going to do. 

Clarke grins at her and brings her hands up, before quickly starting to tickle Lexa from on top of the blanket. 

Lexa starts squirming away from Clarke, trying to fight off her wiggling fingers and also keep the blanket covering her face up. But it’s proving hard to do. “Clarke!” She manages to shout out, in between her fit of giggles. “Clarke, stop!” She says, trying to sound angry, but the smile on her face and the constant laughing is making that difficult. 

“Not until you kiss me.” Clarke grins back, continuing her attack. She finally gets it to where Lexa lets go of the blanket, trying to protect herself and pulls it completely off of the girl. She grabs Lexa’s hands, the girl not being able to put up much of a fight because of laughing so hard. “Gotcha.” Clarke grins, pinning Lexa’s hands down to where she can’t get away from her again. 

Lexa slowly stops laughing and looks up at Clarke with a smile. When she sees Clarke start to lean down for a kiss, Lexa shrieks and shakes her head. “Clarke no!” She shouts, not being able to stop from giggling again. 

Clarke just smiles triumphantly and closes her eyes as she gets closer to Lexa’s lips. 

But instead of their lips touching, the next thing Clarke knows is that she’s on her back. She opens her eyes, confused and realizes that Lexa is now straddling her, Clarke’s hands pinned above her head. “What...” she says slowly, still trying to comprehend what just happened. 

Lexa just smirks down at her, feeling pretty pleased with herself. 

She looks extremely hot. 

“Fuck...” Clarke mumbles, feeling a spark all the way through her body.

Lexa just giggles at her reaction and then bites down on her lip because she’s not really sure what to do next. And Clarke isn’t even trying to put up a fight against her anymore. “Are you done?” She asks with a smile. 

Clarke just bites on her lip as well, looking up at the girl. “That was fucking hot.” She comments, not being able to stop herself. 

Lexa is caught off guard by the comment, to say the least. She falters a bit and almost lets go of Clarke’s hands, but regains her grip within a few seconds. She opens her mouth to say something, but for once in her life she can’t think of words. Normally, she has the opposite problem and can’t stop words from coming out of her mouth. “I told you I do MMA.” She finally says, not knowing what else to say. 

Clarke just smirks at her. “Yeah...” she says quietly, her eyes moving down to Lexa’s lips. All she wants to do is kiss her. And do more, but she’s trying to stop those thoughts right now. Even though it’s pretty hard when Lexa is straddling her. “I’m definitely going to need to see more of those moves.” She adds. 

Lexa just shrugs her shoulders. “Okay.” She says simply, not really picking up on what Clarke is talking about, exactly. “Are you going to be good if I let go of you now?” She asks, smiling down at the blonde.

Clarke smirks once again at her girlfriend. “I don’t know.” She answers honestly. A little part of her wants to see Lexa in action again. “Your moves are a turn on.” She says, wiggling her eyebrows, a giggle escaping her lips.

Lexa’s eyes widen as she realizes what Clarke had been talking about. Her face turns bright red and she once again falters on top of the girl. She smiles down at Clarke shyly. “Oh,” she says simply. She’s still not great at all of the intimacy stuff, and she definitely doesn’t pick up on little hints like this. 

“Come here,” Clarke says, trying to free her hands, but Lexa gives her a look. “I promise I’ll be good.” She says with a smile. After a second of contemplating it, Lexa slowly lets Clarke’s hands go and climbs off the blonde. But Clarke pulls her back over to her, wrapping her arms around her. “We should probably talk about that stuff, huh?” Clarke asks with a sigh. 

Lexa looks up at her a little confused. “What stuff?” 

“Sex, stuff.” Clarke replies making Lexa’s face turn red once again. Clarke just giggles at her. This isn’t something she really wanted to talk about either. She’s always been pretty open to sex, but discussing it like this, is a little weird. Especially since she knows that Lexa will probably be awkward as well. “I just don’t want to take anything too far or make you uncomfortable, so we should probably talk about it.”

“Okay.” Lexa says slowly. “I’ve never had sex before. Or done anything intimate.” She admits. “I mean, except what we’ve done.” She adds with a small shrug.

“Okay.” Clarke says with a smile, though she already figured that. She just hadn’t wanted it to seem like she wouldn’t think that Lexa would have done it before and offend her or anything. But it’s pretty obvious that she hasn’t done anything before. “Well... what are you comfortable with? I mean.. I don’t want to move to fast or anything.” 

Lexa inhales deeply through her nose as she seems to be thinking the question over. “I don’t know.” She says honestly. “I don’t even like physical contact at all. Not hugs, or even just little touching, except Anya and Lincoln.” She says matter of fact. “But, I like when you touch me...” she adds, letting the sentence trail off a little. “I don’t get uncomfortable when you touch me. It makes me feel good.” 

Clarke can’t help but smile at her for that. “I’m glad. I like touching you.” She says with a little bit of a smirk, hoping to get a smile out of Lexa. 

“I looked up some things about it...” Lexa admits, turning to look at the blonde more. 

“You looked up stuff about sex?” She asks curiously. She can just imagine Lexa sitting there reading things on lesbian sex or even watching porn. It’s pretty hilarious to think about actually. And a little hot as well. 

“No.” Lexa says quickly. “I mean, yes...I mean...” she stumbles over her words and then lets out a sigh. “I looked up things that other people with Asperger’s have said about their experiences with sex and intimacy.” She explains. “A lot of it wasn’t so good,” she says with a frown. “A lot of them said that the sensory overload was too much, between so much touching, the sounds and the smells and everything.” She says with a sigh. “But, also, I know that I like when you touch me and when you’re close to me, so I don’t know if that’ll happen to me.” 

Clarke bites down on her lip, not really sure what to say. She still doesn’t know exactly what will and what will not trigger Lexa. But she does remember hearing Anya mention something about sensory overload when they were facetiming. It’s why wrapping the blanket around her helped. To block out some things. 

“Normally, noise triggers me more than touching or anything.” Lexa further explains. She knows that all people with Asperger’s are different and some things affect everyone differently. “Though, I don’t exactly like to be touched by most people. Really only Anya and Lincoln.. And now you.”

Clarke gives the girl a small smile hearing that once again. She’s happy that Lexa is starting to get more comfortable around her. 

“Also, as you know.. I have a hard time picking up on things that others are talking about or feeling. So it’s hard for us to really know what you want and like, even in intimate situations.. Which means that I may not know how to pleasure you or really be good at it..” she says, frowning even more. 

Clarke can tell that this information has been getting her down and she looks pretty upset by what she’s read. “Hey,” Clarke says, scooting closer to the brunette. “We’ll take things slow, alright? If anything gets to be too much for you or anything then all you have to do is tell me to stop and we will.” Clarke tells her, hoping she’ll agree. 

“I want to be intimate with you.” Lexa tells Clarke, making the blonde’s eyes widen a bit at her bluntness. But she shouldn’t be so surprised. Lexa always says what is on her mind and speaks truthfully. “I really do... you make me feel good and I enjoy how you make me feel. I never knew that it’d feel that good to be with another person.” She says honestly. “I’m just nervous.” 

Clarke nods her head and gives Lexa a comforting smile. “Well, like I said we can go at whatever speed you’re comfortable with. Just don’t feel like you can’t tell me if you don’t like something or it’s too much for you, okay?” She says, once again, needing Lexa to agree. 

“Okay.” Lexa says, giving Clarke a small smile. Though Clarke can see that she’s still a little down over everything. 

“Also, as far as the not pleasing me thing...” Clarke starts, making Lexa frown even deeper. “I’m pretty sure that it’ll be amazing with you just because you’re you.” She says honestly. “But, either way, the first few times with anyone is all about learning what the other likes. Nobody gets it perfect the first time. Everyone likes different things and we both just have to learn those things.” She explains. She sees Lexa start to open her mouth, but Clarke stops her before she can say anything. “And, I know that you have a hard time picking up on things so we’ll just agree to communicate really well, alright? I’ll be sure and tell you if I like something or don’t and not just expect you to know. And you can do the same for me.” 

Lexa twitches her lips from side to side, obviously thinking over everything that Clarke is saying. Finally, she nods her head and gives Clarke a soft smile. “Okay.” She agrees. She’s still really nervous that she won’t be able to please Clarke, or that she’ll have a meltdown or something during. But, she really does want to be with Clarke in that way. Being with her makes her body feel amazing, and she just wants more. 

Lexa is too distracted with her thoughts that she doesn’t even notice Clarke leaning in and pressing her lips against her own. It happens so quickly that she doesn’t have time to stop it. Being caught off guard, she’s tense for a second and then relaxes into the kiss. But then after a moment she remembers. “Clarke! My breath!” She shrieks, jumping off the bed.

Clarke just starts bursting out laughing, clearly pleased with herself. 

“You’re mean.” Lexa pouts, folding her arms across her chest. 

“I’m sorry,” Clarke says, though she doesn’t exactly seem like she means it. “Come on, let’s go to the bathrooms so that we can brush our teeth.” She says, climbing off the bed. “I want to be able to kiss you.” She adds, giving Lexa a light slap on her ass as she walks by her and over to the door. 

Lexa blushes and hides a shy smile before she quickly grabs all of her things to take with her to the bathroom. 

\---  
Octavia taps nervously on the table as she looks around the coffee shop, waiting. She glances down at her phone and sighs once again, putting it back in her pocket. She’s about to give up and go back to her dorm, but she decides to stay a little bit longer. She doesn’t want to give up.

“Hey,” she hears just a few seconds later, making her look up. 

“Raven.” She says with a relieved sigh, seeing the girl’s face. She stands up from her chair and moves over to the girl to hug her, but then stops when she realizes that probably wouldn’t be a good idea. So she just stands there a bit awkwardly. “I’m glad you came.” she says with a soft smile. 

Raven just nods her head and gives her a small smile as well. “I was a little nervous to come.” She admits with a sigh, as she sits down at the table. 

Octavia follows suit and sits down across from her. “It’s just me.” Octavia says softly, hoping to make Raven a little more comfortable. Although, she’s pretty nervous as well. Which sucks, because she’s never felt this way around Raven. And she doesn’t like it. They shouldn’t be nervous or awkward around each other.

“I know.” Raven nods with another small sigh. “It’s just with everything that has happened, I’m not really sure what to say.” She admits. “I know that I have overreacted about some things and I’m sorry for that.” She says, which is a little surprising to Octavia. “I’ve been thinking about meeting up with you guys, but I didn’t know what to say, and I wasn’t sure where you guys were or how you felt.” She shrugs. “You know how I get... And the longer that I waited, the worse it got and the more I didn’t know how to fix it or what to say.”

Octavia just bites down on her lip for a second, thinking everything over. She’s not sure what to say and what not to say either. “Can I ask you why you wanted to just meet up with me, and not Clarke? I mean, she’s a bigger part of this.” She says, confused. 

Raven looks a little uncomfortable for a second, and just plays with the coffee cup on her table. “Well, I especially wasn’t sure what to say to Clarke.” She admits. “I thought that maybe talking to you guys one on one would be easier, and you’re definitely an easier first choice.” she explains. 

“I guess I understand that.” Octavia nods. “Clarke really wants to make all of this okay, though.” She says, wanting Raven to know that Clarke isn’t angry, and wants to fix it as well. “We all just want to move past this.” 

Raven sighs, but nods her head. “I don’t know what to say to Clarke or Lexa.” She admits. “I know that I was terrible, which I don’t know why anyone was surprised.” She says, folding her arms across her chest.

“You’re not a bad person.” Octavia tells her, and she sees Raven start to open her mouth, but puts her hand up, stopping Raven from talking. “You’re not. No matter what you think.” She says with finality. “You have a lot of walls and you act out sometimes but it doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible person.”

Raven just nods her head, whether she believes it or not. She knows that there really isn’t a point in arguing with Octavia on this. “Anyway, I shouldn’t have treated Lexa that way.” She says quietly. “I’m not going to lie, she’s a little... off,” Raven says, making Octavia frown, but Raven continues before Octavia can speak. “But she’s not that bad...” she says with a grimace. “And she definitely didn’t deserve for me to treat her the way that I did. I was just so scared and angry and a lot of other feelings about moving away and coming to college. I didn’t have a family for awhile and then I met you guys and Abby and.. I was just scared to leave and start this new chapter. I got comfortable there.” She explains. “And then I didn’t get you guys as my roommate and I was with some stranger and I just... I didn’t react well.” She says with a small laugh, because that’s lightly putting it. 

“Raven, why didn’t you talk to us about any of this?” Octavia asks, reaching out and grabbing Raven’s hand.

Raven shrugs and shifts in her seat a bit uncomfortably. “You know that I don’t really like talking about feelings and all of that crap.” She says matter of fact. 

Octavia nods and lets out a little humming noise, because she’s very aware of that fact. “So what made you agree to come and talk to me finally?” Octavia asks curiously. She’d been trying to talk to Raven for days and the other girl either ignored her or told her no. 

“I just needed some space.” She shrugs. “You know how I get when I’m upset. And this time I was just upset about a lot of things and then this happened on top of it and it just set me off.” She sighs. “But, I’ve been working through it and I’ve been talking to Abby a lot. She’s talked some sense into me, like always.” She says with a small smile. 

“Abby always has had the magic touch when it comes to dealing with you.” Octavia chuckles. “I’m glad that you agreed. I’ve missed you.” 

Raven gives the girl a smile and squeezes her hand that’s still in hers. “I’ve missed you too, O.” She says sincerely. “Maybe you could help me talk to Clarke.” She says, the smile slowly dropping off of her face, just thinking about it. She’s got a lot more to repair with the two of them, especially Clarke.

“Of course.” Octavia nods.

\---

Clarke slowly opens the door to Lexa’s dorm room and sees her sitting on her bed, still talking to Anya. Which is where she’d left her just 5 minutes ago before going to her dorm to change her clothes. She closes the door quietly behind her and walks fully into the girl’s room, sitting on the bed next to her. 

She leans over and places a quick kiss to Lexa’s cheek, making the brunette blush and stutter a bit to Anya. It just makes Clarke giggle and she lays down on the bed, pulling her own phone out and going through it as she waits for Lexa to end her call with her big sister. 

She gets bored pretty quickly after checking all of her social media apps and realizing that nothing is really going on. Nothing that is really interesting anyway. Or maybe it’s just because she’s more interested in Lexa. Even if she is on the phone with her sister and can’t pay attention to her. Which makes the blonde pout.

She rolls over onto her stomach, which brings her closer to her girlfriend. Her head is almost in the girl’s lap. She leans on her elbows and looks up at Lexa, giving the brunette a smile, but Lexa isn’t looking at her so she doesn’t notice it. She’s got her eyes focused ahead as she speaks to her sister, or more so listens to Anya ramble at her. Which Clarke gets, because the girl had been worried about her little sister. 

Reaching out, Clarke grabs Lexa’s hand that had been resting in her lap. She starts playing with Lexa’s fingers and smiles when she feels that Lexa is still relaxed and is allowing her to pull on her hand closer to her and play with said fingers.

When she looks up this time, Lexa is looking down at her with a small smile on her face. It makes the blonde beam up at her. She leans down and places a gentle kiss against the back of Lexa’s hand and hears the girl stumble over her words once again. She just giggles quietly and continues playing with her fingers, hoping that she’ll get off the phone soon. 

It’s not like she wants to rush her or anything because she knows how close her and Anya are and how worried Anya had been. But, she really wants to have Lexa to herself.

She’s a bit selfish, she knows.

Finally after what feels like forever, she hears Lexa saying her goodbyes. She lets out a relieved sigh and rolls back over onto her back, this time letting her head land in Lexa’s lap. She glances up at the girl who doesn’t seem to mind. She’s too busy rolling her eyes at her sister for prolonging the goodbye, and it just makes Clarke giggle.

“Sorry about that.” Lexa says, after finally hanging up the phone. She sits it down on her nightstand and then looks down at Clarke, who is smiling up at her. “She wouldn’t stop talking.” She says with a small chuckle. 

“She was worried about you.” Clarke says matter of fact. “I get it.”

Lexa just nods and starts absentmindedly playing with Clarke’s hair. The blonde stares up at her and sees the small frown and thoughtful look on her face. It makes Clarke frown as well. She reaches up and caresses the girl’s cheek with her fingers, lightly. 

“Are you okay?” She asks, concerned. 

Lexa just nods her head, but still doesn’t look very convincing. “Yeah.” She says simply, and Clarke frowns even deeper at her, letting her know that she doesn’t believe her. “I’m just having an off day. After everything.” She admits with a small shrug. 

Clarke nods, because she gets that. “That’s understandable.” She says, shifting to sit up. “You had a rough night and then I know that not going to class today threw you off a bit as well.” She says, knowing how Lexa is. Which is why if Lexa had wanted to go to class she would have let her. But she is really glad that the girl had decided to get some rest. 

Lexa just nods her head and doesn’t respond to Clarke’s comment. She’s right about it all, but there’s nothing really to do about it at this point. She’ll be okay, she just needs some time to process and get her thoughts together. Also, getting her schedule back on track will help.

Clarke rolls out of Lexa’s lap and sits up in front of her girlfriend. She chews on her lip and just looks across at the brunette, who looks right back on her. “Can I ask you something?” Clarke asks a little bit hesitantly. 

“Sure.” Lexa answers back, sounding almost as hesitant as Clarke had.

Clarke nods, but doesn’t open her mouth to say anything. She’s a little worried that she’ll upset Lexa by asking this question, but she’s really curious. “I was just wondering...” she says and then lets her voice trail off. “You seemed like you were having a nightmare, and that’s what triggered the meltdown.” Clarke says, gauging Lexa’s reaction to see if she’d asked too much. 

Lexa looks a little uncomfortable and she shifts a bit, but nods her head nonetheless. “I did.” She confirms. “It happens every now and then. Not as much now as when I was younger.” She explains. 

“Can I ask what the nightmare was about?” Clarke asks, still treading carefully. Obviously it was something pretty upsetting and she knows that Lexa is already having an off day. She doesn’t want to make it worse. But she is curious.

Lexa sighs and does that little jaw twitch, that Clarke is starting to find more and more adorable on her. She finally looks up at Clarke, blue meeting green. “Clarke, I’ve had a lot happen to me in the past...” she says a bit hesitantly. “It was a flashback. It happens sometimes. It’s memories most of the time, sometimes it’s just involving certain people from my past, but not things that actually happened to me.” She tries to explain. 

Clarke just nods her head, not really knowing if she should ask further. But, Lexa seems to be okay so far, so she decides to just go for it. “Well, if you want to talk about it or tell me about it, you can.” She says softly, reaching out and grabbing Lexa’s hand. “I’m here to listen.”

Lexa nods her head and looks down at her hand that is now interlocked with Clarke’s. “It’s just... kind of a lot.” She says with a frown. “I don’t want you...” She starts to say and then pauses. “I don’t want to scare you off.” She admits softly. 

Clarke smiles and moves closer to her girlfriend. She caresses the girl’s cheek with her fingers gently, and tries to get her to look back up at her. “You aren’t going to scare me off, Lexa. Nothing you could tell me would make me think any less of you.” She says, but Lexa doesn’t look convinced. “You could probably tell me that you murdered someone and I’d still think the world of you.” She says with a little smirk. 

Lexa cracks a smile at that and finally looks at Clarke again.

“But you don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to tell me.” Clarke says before the girl has a chance to respond. “I want to know everything about you. Even the bad. But, I want you to feel comfortable telling me.” 

“I want to tell you.” Lexa nods. She takes in a deep breath and just stares at Clarke who is looking at her attentively, ready to listen to whatever it is that she’s about to tell her. “So I think that I’ve told you, I was in foster care growing up.” She starts softly. 

“Well I know that Lincoln is your foster brother, but you haven’t really said much else about it.” She nods. 

Lexa just nods as well before looking back down. “Well, my mom killed herself when I was 4.” She starts with a shaky breath. “My dad became really depressed and starting drinking a lot and started doing drugs. He told me that it was my fault because I was stupid and too much trouble and she couldn’t handle it anymore.” She says, quietly. 

Clarke feels a ton of emotions hitting her all at once after that. Mostly anger, but also sadness and heartbreak for her girlfriend, having to go through that. She just wants to find this man and beat the crap out of him. “Lexa you’re not stupid. He’s an idiot.” She says, trying to keep her emotions at bay. The last thing that Lexa needs right now is her flipping out.

Lexa just nods her head. “I know. Anya told me all the time that it wasn’t my fault and she tried to make me believe that every day.” She admits. “But I can’t help but feel that maybe he was right.” She shrugs. “I mean, when I was younger it was a lot worse than it is now and they didn’t even know that I had Asperger’s for the longest time. I know that I was a handful and it was frustrating.” She explains sadly. 

Clarke squeezes Lexa’s hand. “Lexa, I’m sure that your mother loved you. Your dad was just angry.” Clarke says, even though she doesn’t know the whole story. But she couldn’t imagine Lexa’s mother killing herself over her. She obviously had other things going on as well.

“Yeah, he was.” She says sadly. “He was never around after that and if he was he was drunk or high. Anya had to take care of me and she was only a few years older than me.” She says sadly. “He was always yelling and calling me names. Anytime I’d have a meltdown or just anything he’d freak out and then that would just make it worse. Eventually he started to push me and even hit me to try and get me to stop.” She continues. 

Tears start to form in Clarke’s eyes and she tries really hard to stop them, but it’s not working too well for her. She just scoots closer to Lexa and grabs her other hand as well, holding them both.

“We came home from school one day and found him passed out on the bathroom floor. Anya called 911 and they came and got him.” She says and then lets out a deep exhale, trying to keep her composure and continue telling Clarke. “He didn’t die, but me and Anya got put in the system after that. I haven’t seen him since.” She finishes, and looks up at her girlfriend. She winces a little when she sees the tears in Clarke’s eyes and hates herself for upsetting the blonde.

“Lexa...I am so sorry,” Clarke says softly, not really knowing what else to say. She’s still trying to process everything as well as her emotions. “I can’t believe anything like that has happened to you and it makes me want to go hunt him down and kill him.” She says honestly, her teeth gritting together a bit. But she takes in a deep breath and tries to relax herself. “Come here,” she says, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. She’s not really sure if it’s more to comfort Lexa or herself.

“So does Anya.” Lexa admits with a small chuckle. “The only thing that has stopped her is knowing that I need her and she doesn’t need to do anything stupid.” She explains. 

Clarke nods and pulls away from the girl slightly. “Well, that’s probably smart.” Clarke admits. “Though, I still have a hard time convincing myself that I shouldn’t either.” She says honestly. She exhales and pulls back further from the girl, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Is that what the nightmare was about? Your dad?”

Lexa shakes her head at the question. “Clarke... there’s still a lot more that has happened in my life.” She admits with a sigh. 

Clarke can barely contain her emotions just after the one story. She’s not sure that she can handle more things happening to her girlfriend. But of course she’s going to listen. She wants to know everything about Lexa. Even if it’s hard for her to hear. “Tell me.” She says softly, giving the girl an encouraging look. 

“Well we got moved around a couple of times, thankfully they kept me and Anya together, though. I think it was just because of my ‘mental issues’ as they liked to put it and they knew that I was better with her.” She says rolling her eyes a bit. “But, whatever as long as I got to keep her with me they can say it however they’d like.” She shrugs. “But we got put with this man named Charles Pike, after a few other homes.” She says, grimacing at the name rolling off her tongue. “That’s where I met Lincoln. He was already with Pike.” She says, a little bit of a smile forming on her face at the mention of her brother. 

But it doesn’t last very long as she starts to think about living with that man, and everything she’s about to have to tell Clarke. 

“The other homes weren’t too bad, but they weren’t good either. The foster parents didn’t care about us, they just wanted the check. Which is typical.” She shrugs. “Anya pretty much raised me and took care of me because they were never around. Although most of them would get annoyed and angry with me because of my meltdowns and other stuff. That’s why we got moved around so much. Nobody wanted to deal with me.” She says with a frown. “And I get it.” 

“I don’t.” Clarke jumps in, her jaw clenched. “Sorry,” She says, realizing that she’d interrupted Lexa. She’d just had to get that out there.

Lexa gives her a small smile, before continuing. “When we got to Pike’s I was already shy and didn’t really like people or trust anyone other than Anya.” She explains. “I tried to just keep to myself. But Lincoln was always trying to talk to us and trying to get me to play or talk to him.” She says with a small smile. “I never wanted to and barely ever spoke to him. I’d just hide behind Anya and avoid him.” She says, laughing a bit at the memory, considering how much she loves her big brother now. 

Clarke just smiles as well, giving her hand a little squeeze.

“I remember it was after being there for about a week, I had my first meltdown because the smoke detector was going off and it was super loud. My ears were ringing.” She says, still remembering it like it was yesterday. “Anya was sitting down with me, trying to help to calm me down. He just sat down next to me as well and held my hand. He didn’t do anything else, but he sat there with us for almost an hour until I fell asleep.” She remembers.

Lexa takes in a steady breath and brings her hand up, wiping the small tear that had escaped from her eye.

“After that I started to warm up to him. He was there for me almost as much as Anya was.” She says with a smile. “But, anyway Pike wasn’t a good man.” She says, frowning as she moves back onto the darker subject. “At first it seemed like he was going to be awesome. He was a teacher and seemed nice. And his house was nicer than any of the other ones we’d been in. I was warming up to Lincoln and actually thought that maybe life would be okay for once.” She says with a sad smile. 

She was wrong. 

“I’m not really sure what happened.” She says with a confused look on her face. Almost like she’s still trying to figure it out. “He was in the military and Lincoln says that he was dealing with PTSD. He was discharged because of it and that made him even more angry. And I guess it just kept getting worse instead of better.” She explains. “He started becoming more angry and distant. I saw him punch walls and throw things out of anger a lot, but he’d never touched one of us.” She explains. “But one night I was asleep on the couch and he came home late and obviously upset. He was muttering to himself and hitting the cabinets in the kitchen. I tried to quietly go to my room but he saw me. He started yelling at me and then he hit me too.” 

Clarke clenches her jaw and has to close her eyes and breathe, finding it harder by the second to contain everything that she’s feeling.

“At that point, I was just used to it and didn’t really know any different so I never told Anya or Lincoln.” She admits. “It started happening more and more, but I could usually hide the bruises pretty easily.” She explains. “And then one day when me and Anya were out we saw a flyer for Karate lessons at the community center. It was free so I asked her if I could do it. She was really hesitant at first, but I eventually talked her into it.” She says with a smirk. 

She could almost always get her way when it came to Anya. 

“My teacher’s name was Indra. The first time I went in and I saw her fighting with another guy named Gus, I was just blown away and so amazed by her. I wanted to be just like her.” She says, and Clarke can even now hear the amazement in her voice. “She started teaching me and even gave me private lessons because she said that I was her favorite and she saw a lot of potential in me.” She smiles.

Clarke can’t help but smile at the beaming girl either. Especially after everything she’s heard, it’s nice to see that smile on Lexa’s face.

“A couple of years in, she noticed that I was having a hard time moving and wincing a lot. She asked me what was wrong, but I told her I was fine.” Lexa starts to explain. “She didn’t believe me though and told me not to lie to her. So I showed her my bruises. I was covered, all over my stomach and back.” she says, making the smile on Clarke’s face quickly disappear again. “She asked me what happened and I told her, because she had told me not to lie to her. I told her that Pike did it and that he’d been doing it for awhile.” 

Lexa takes another breath and clears her throat. She looks up at Clarke who still looks just as attentive as she had when she first started talking. She can tell that Clarke looks a little more emotional than she had starting out, but she doesn't look like she’s put off by her or her past. Or that she thinks any differently of her.

“After that, I guess Indra called CPS on him, because they had an investigation. He somehow got away with it and claimed that the bruises were from me doing karate. Also, I think that he just knew the right people to get off.” She says with a frown. “At least that’s what Anya and Lincoln say.” She shrugs. “But, a few weeks later, the next thing I know is that I’m getting adopted by Indra. I had no idea that she was even trying to until it actually happened. Which, she says she didn’t want to say anything in case she couldn’t.” 

She gives Clarke another small smile and starts to play with the blonde’s fingers. 

“Indra even adopted Anya as well, even though she was almost 18. She just knew that I needed her with me.” She explains. “So we went to live with Indra, and I finally got to see what it was like to live in a nice home and to actually have a family.” She smiles. “Lincoln couldn’t come with us, but he was already about to be 18 anyway so it was a lot of money and trouble for just a few months. I was really sad about it, but I guess everything turned out okay.” She says. 

She knows that Lincoln told her some things went down between him and PIke. But she’s still not sure exactly what. And that doesn't really have to do with her so she’s not going to include that in her story. That’s more of Lincoln’s story.

“Anyway, my nightmare was just a flashback with Pike.” She admits to her. “It just sort of set me off.” She says with a bit of an awkward shrug. She looks up at Clarke to see tears running down her face and it makes Lexa frown even deeper. 

She hadn’t meant to make Clarke cry. She always does this. She says too much and then it’s too late to take it back.

“I’m sorry that I upset you.” She says with a wince. She pulls her hand away from Clarke’s, feeling guilty and hits herself on the forehead. “I knew that I shouldn’t have....I-....I-...” she says, but then stops. “Stupid.” She says, hitting herself again, over and over.

Clarke reacts quickly and grabs Lexa’s hand, stopping her from hitting herself. “Hey no, no.” Clarke says, just trying to calm the girl down. “No, you’re not stupid and you didn’t upset me.” She says honestly. “I’m just-... I care about you so much, Lexa.” She admits, giving the girl’s hand a squeeze because she can still feel her trying to pull away from her. “I just hate hearing that people have treated you this way. It breaks my heart and it makes me so angry at them. I just want to kill all of them.” She explains, hoping that Lexa won’t think anything is her fault. “I’m glad that you told me.” 

Lexa looks at the blonde, but she still doesn’t seem completely convinced. But as she stares into those blue eyes that she loves so much, she starts to see the honesty. Clarke actually does just care about her. “I’m glad that I told you too.” She says quietly. 

“Come here.” Clarke says, wiping away her own tears. She pulls Lexa into her and situates them on the bed so that she’s holding Lexa in her arms. “I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through all of that.” She says, her hand starting to run through Lexa’s hair. “I can’t make it go away, but I do want to promise you that I’ll do everything in my power to make sure nobody hurts you again.”

“You can’t make a promise like that.” Lexa says sadly. She snuggles more into Clarke and tightens her grip on the blonde. She wishes that Clarke could promise something like that.

It makes Clarke’s heart break even more that she thinks that way. That nobody can save her or protect her. “Yes, I can.” She says confidently. Maybe she can’t protect Lexa from everything, but she can damn near try.

\---

“Hello Octavia.” Lexa greets, sitting down across from the girl at their usual table in the coffee shop. She takes a sip of her usual coffee, a smile on her face. She’s had a rough couple of days, but getting back into her normal routine is definitely helping her. And so far her day has gone as normal as possible.

“I’m surprised that Clarke isn’t with you.” Octavia says honestly. “You guys are attached at the hip these days.” She adds with a bit of a frown. It’s not that she’s not over the whole Clarke and Lexa thing, she is. It’s just that she’d like to get to spend time with Lexa as her friend, without Clarke having to be around. She also doesn’t even get to spend much time with Clarke without Lexa either, and she’s her roommate. 

“She’s working on a project that’s due tomorrow.” Lexa answers easily. “She’s a little behind.” She adds with a frown. Clarke had been pretty stressed out about it, which makes Lexa a little stressed out for her. She wishes she could help in some way, but she can’t paint or draw or anything to save her life. Not that she’d want to paint it for Clarke anyway. Or that Clarke would need her. She just needs some time and space to get her work done. Lexa just doesn’t like feeling helpless when her girlfriend is stressed.

Octavia just lets out a humming noise in response. “Well, I’m sure that she will get it done.” Octavia states matter of fact. “It’s nice to hang out with just you. Not that I don’t love Clarke, but you’re my friend too and I like hanging out with you.” She says honestly. 

Lexa smiles at her and takes a sip of her coffee. “I like hanging out with you too,” she says honestly. “I just get confused sometimes. I know you told me not to tell Clarke that we were friends before and sometimes I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do or say. I don’t want to mess anything up or get anyone upset.” She says honestly. “but I like hanging out with you too.”

Octavia grimaces at her words. “I’m sorry for that.” She says sincerely. “I’m really not trying to make you lie or anything. I just don’t want her to be upset if she knew that I was into you before.” She admits. “That’s all. It’s just pointless to risk upsetting her over nothing. I mean, God knows we already have enough drama going on right now.” She says with a sigh. 

Lexa just nods. “I get it... I mean, I think that I do.” She says honestly. “I don’t want Clarke to be upset either. But, I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to say or do... it’s really confusing.” She says with a small frown.

Octavia gives her a sympathetic smile. “Look, just do and say what you normally would, alright? If something comes up or comes out then we’ll deal with it then.” Octavia says, deciding it was best. “I don’t want you to feel anxious or confused about anything involving us.”

“Okay.” Lexa says, but she’s still not really sure that Octavia means that. She just doesn’t want to upset anyone. 

“How have you been?” Octavia asks, feeling like she hadn’t talked to the girl in forever. She’d been away for the weekend and then she had barely seen her since she’d been back. And when she did see her it was just quick and she was with Clarke. They haven’t really gotten to talk.

Lexa shrugs her shoulders. “I’ve been a little off.” She admits, making Octavia look at her in concern. “It happens sometimes. I just need to get back on track.” She says, hoping that Octavia won’t worry too much.

“Well, if there is anything that I can do to help, just let me know.” She says, trying to be helpful. “I know that I’m not Clarke, but I do want to be friends, Lexa. I want you to be able to come to me if you need to.” 

Lexa smiles at her and nods. “Thank you, Octavia.” She takes a sip of her coffee and then looks back at the girl. “I know that I’m not the best at communicating and sometimes I don’t say the right thing, but you can come to me too, if you need to.” Lexa tells her with a small shrug.

Octavia just grins at her. “Thank you, Lexa. And I’ll definitely do that.” She confirms. “You’re not as bad as you think you are.” She adds with a genuine smile. Sure sometimes the girl is a little awkward, but she’s one of the kindest people that Octavia has met. And most genuine, which means she’d probably be a lot of help if she needed it. Or she’d just cheer her up at least, because being with Lexa would even make the grumpiest of people smile. “Don’t put yourself down so much.” 

“Okay.” Lexa just says with a small blush and a smile. She takes another sip of her coffee and watches as Octavia goes back to the homework she’d been working on. Lexa just sits back and relaxes, enjoying being here with the girl and finally starting to feel relaxed after the past few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright there you have it. Hopefully you enjoyed it. Either way, I'd really like to hear some opinions and thoughts on it!
> 
> ALSO I made tumblr for this Clarke and Lexa!! I reblog things that I think they'd like and answer anons and other questions from you guys as their characters! I've been having fun with it so far! Hopefully those of you who have already followed are enjoying as well. If you haven't followed and would like to they are: theartistclarke.tumblr.com and commanderofflowers.tumblr.com Send over some questions!!


	15. Chapter 15

Clarke lets her eyes flutter open, but quickly shuts them back and lets out a groan as she stretches out all of her limbs. She sighs and finally opens her eyes, accepting the fact that she has to wake up now. She hears some noises coming from the other side of the room and sees Octavia on the ground stretching. 

 

She looks like she’s already pretty sweaty and Clarke glances at the clock to see what time it is. “It’s only 7am, why are you already up and sweaty?” She asks with a groan, rolling over and pulling the covers back around her body. Though, she’s still facing her roommate, looking at her. 

 

Octavia just smirks at her. “I went for a run with Ra-...Raven...” she says, her voice getting a little quiet at the name. 

 

Clarke frowns and furrows her brows. “So...you guys are hanging out again?” She asks confused. As far as she knew, Raven wasn’t talking to either of them. But apparently she’s talking to Octavia now.

 

Octavia sighs and chews on her bottom lip for a second. She’d been meaning to talk to Clarke about her and Raven’s conversation, but she hadn’t yet. She was in the same boat as Raven, not really knowing what to say to Clarke. Plus, it didn’t help that Clarke hasn’t been around much recently.

 

But, now she has to talk to her. 

 

“Raven and I met up for coffee recently.” she says softly. “She wants to talk to you as well.. She just wasn’t sure what to say to you. So she asked to meet up with me. She thought that maybe I could help you guys.” She explains, hoping that the blonde won’t get upset with her. 

 

Clarke takes in the information for a few moments, turning to lie on her back. “Okay...” she says slowly. “I’m not really sure why she’s so afraid to talk to me.” she says with a frown, turning back to face Octavia. “We’re supposed to be family.. I don’t like that she feels this way.” She says honestly. 

 

Octavia nods her head in understanding. “I understand. She was nervous to meet up with me as well, and that’s the same thing that I told her.” she explains. “I think she just knows that she really messed up this time and she’s afraid you aren’t going to forgive her.” She adds. “I mean, I told her that you just want to make up with her as well, but you know how Raven thinks. She thinks everyone is going to leave her, and she thinks that this is what is going to do it for us.” 

 

Clarke nods her head, because she does know how Raven is. She hates that Raven still thinks that any moment they are going to leave her. They’ve spent years trying to prove that they are her family and they aren’t going anywhere. But, she also knows that someone like Raven can’t just change the way she thinks, that easily. She has a bad past and it’ll take awhile. And Clarke will spend her whole life proving to her that she is her family, if she has to. 

 

“Well, tell her that I want to talk to her. Let’s make this right.” Clarke says, making Octavia nod. “And for now, I don’t want Lexa involved until I talk to Raven myself, but I’d like for her to apologize to Lexa as well...” she says honestly. 

 

Octavia nods her head. “She mentioned feeling bad about that as well. I think she plans on apologizing to you both.” 

 

“Okay, good.” Clarke nods, satisfied. “Just let me know when..”

 

\---

 

Clarke hears a knock on her dorm room door, but doesn’t stop the sketch that she’s working on. “Come in,” she says just loud enough for the person outside the door to hear her. As soon as she hears the door creak open, she glances up and smiles at the sight of her girlfriend. “Hey you.” She greets, getting up off of her bed. 

 

Lexa just smiles back in return and shuts the door behind her. She glances around the room, taking it in. Sure she’s been in Clarke’s room before, but every time she walks into a room, she likes to look around and know what is around her. It’s just a comforting thing for her to do. She’s also looking for Octavia’s presence, but she doesn’t see her. “Hey,” she finally greets back as Clarke approaches her, and lets her eyes land on the blonde. 

 

Clarke leans in and presses a quick but meaningful kiss to Lexa’s lips. “How were your classes?” Clarke asks, letting her hands slide up and down Lexa’s arms in an affectionate motion. 

 

Lexa just shrugs her shoulders. “They were good.” She says simply. “These two students got into a pretty heated debate in my Poli-sci class.” She explains to Clarke. “It was interesting until they just starting screaming at each other and the Professor had to break them up.” She says with a small sigh. “I was a little worried they were going to start fighting or something.”

 

It’d been a little stressful for her, when they started to get worked up. Luckily, it hadn’t taken too long to diffuse the situation before it got too out of control. 

 

“What are you doing?” Lexa asks, glancing over at Clarke’s bed where she has her sketch pad out and some pencils. She walks over to the bed, and picks up the sketch book looking at Clarke’s drawing. It’s just a sketch of a lion, but it still looks just as amazing as anything else that Clarke does.

 

“Oh, just doodling.” Clarke says, coming up behind Lexa and placing her hands gently on the girl’s hips. “I managed to finish up my project that’s due tomorrow, so I was just waiting on you.” She says, taking the sketch pad out of Lexa’s hands. She sets it aside and also starts to pick up the pencils and other art supplies that litter her bed.

 

Lexa smiles at her and nods her head. “What are we going to do?” She asks, turning to look at the blonde, watching as she quickly just puts her things on her desk. Normally, they just hang out in one or the other’s room, unless they have an actual date planned out, which they don’t for today. She’s actually been meaning to ask Clarke out on a date herself, but she’d get too nervous. But, she’s actually going to try and work up the courage today to do it.

 

It’s not like she thinks that Clarke will say no or anything, it’s just she’s never been in charge of any of their date nights or taken control of it. And it’s a little nerve wracking for her to make the first move.

 

Clarke smiles and moves over to her bed, sitting down. “I don’t know.” She says with a small shrug. She then reaches out and grabs Lexa’s hand, tugging her over to her. “I thought we could maybe watch some Netflix...cuddle...” She says with a mischievous grin.

 

Lexa lets Clarke pull her onto her bed next to her and nods her head. “Okay.” She smiles with a nod.

 

“Good,” Clarke says back, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Lexa’s lips. “We can go and get some dinner in a couple of hours, or order pizza or something.” She tells her. 

 

“I normally just eat Cereal for dinner on Wednesdays. I mean, I used to have chinese food with Anya, but when I moved here, there were only certain foods that were easy to make in a dorm room...” She explains. “So I changed my schedule based on what I could make in here. Which isn’t very good options, but the cafeteria food isn’t much better.” She shrugs. 

 

Clarke just smiles at her. “Okay well, how about we get chinese food? Like you used to with Anya?” She asks, hoping that’ll be okay with Lexa. Though, she’ll happily just eat some cereal with Lexa if that’s what will make her happy. 

 

Lexa looks like she’s thinking it over pretty hard for a few minutes. Clarke’s about to tell her that they can just have cereal but then Lexa nods her head. “We can get chinese food.” She agrees. 

 

Clarke studies her face for a second to see if she’s actually okay with the idea. She doesn’t seem to be lying to her. Which, she also knows because Lexa isn’t really one to lie. She’s usually very honest with her feelings and what she wants or doesn’t want. “Okay, just let me know when you start to get hungry. We have a chinese take out menu in here somewhere.” She says glancing around the room. 

 

“Okay. I probably won’t be hungry for a few hours.” Lexa says matter of fact. 

 

“Good.” Clarke says, pulling Lexa into her and wrapping her arms around the girl. “Because I really just want to get to the cuddling.” She says with a small giggle.

 

\---

 

It only takes about 20 minutes into the movie that Clarke loses interest. Which is a good record for her lately. It’s a decent movie to be honest but she’s got other things on her mind and better things that she wants to do. She’s not going to lie, lately she’s started to get a little out of control with her hormones. It’s just that she hasn’t been this long without sex in awhile. And it doesn’t help that she has someone as sexy as Lexa that she wants to sleep with more than she’s ever wanted to sleep with anyone in her life. 

 

But they’re taking it slow. 

 

And it’s kind of killing her.

 

They’ve had a few good makeout sessions in the last couple of weeks. Each one getting a little more heated than the last. She even had Lexa leave her first hickey on her neck a couple of days ago. She’d accidentally left a couple of small ones on Lexa from past sessions, but Lexa hadn’t ever ventured away from her lips.

 

Until a couple of days ago, when she did for the first time. And she managed to leave the biggest hickey that Clarke thinks she’s ever had. Lexa seemed to enjoy it and unlike herself, she didn’t know when to stop. Not that Clarke really minded. 

 

Clarke is pulled out of her thoughts when she feels Lexa moving against her. She looks down at the girl to see her rolling onto her side, putting their faces even with each other. She smiles at her girlfriend who seems to be thinking hard about something. Clarke reaches out and brushes some hair out of Lexa’s face, waiting on her to say something. 

 

But instead, the brunette reaches out and lets her fingers ghost over the mark on Clarke’s neck. It’s then that Clarke realizes she hadn’t been the only one thinking about their past few make out sessions. It makes her feel a little prideful. 

 

“You did a number on me.” Clarke says with a smirk as she watches Lexa’s gaze still on the hickey, her fingers brushing over it. 

 

Lexa looks back up at Clarke, almost looking startled at the blonde’s voice. But then she relaxes and offers her a shy smile, a little bit of a blush creeping up on her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes timidly. 

 

Clarke just laughs softly and shakes her head. “I wasn’t exactly complaining.” She says with a smirk. She grabs Lexa’s hand that was still on her neck and brings it up to her lips, kissing the back of her fingers. “I’ve gotten quite a few looks with this thing.” She says, making Lexa blush even harder. She can tell that the girl is about to open her mouth again but Clarke starts speaking before she can, “Hey, I like it. Let’s them know that I’m spoken for.” She smiles. 

 

Lexa looks away shyly at that, but can’t help but feel something inside of her that she’s not really sure what it is. But she kind of likes thinking that people know Clarke is taken. 

 

That she is hers.

 

Not that Clarke is an object or anything.

 

“Come here,” Clarke says softly, pulling Lexa’s eyes back up to hers, from where she’d been staring at the hickey again. Clarke reaches out and puts her hand around the back of Lexa’s neck pulling her into her and pressing their lips together.

 

It doesn’t take long for the slow gentle kiss to turn a bit more hungry and passionate. And not just on Clarke’s behalf either. Lexa tangles her fingers in Clarke’s blonde hair and pulls her even closer to her. It’s obvious that Clarke isn’t the only one that has some sexual frustrations as well.

 

Clarke can’t help but slide her hands down the girl’s body, gripping her around the waist, pressing their bodies completely together. 

 

It doesn’t take long before Clarke starts to lose her self control once again. And in one second she lets out a noise in between a moan and a groan into Lexa’s mouth and flips them to where Lexa is on her back. She hears Lexa let out a surprised noise, but it seems to just make her kiss Clarke back even more intensely, her fingers pulling on Clarke’s hair. 

 

“Fuck Lexa...” Clarke groans, feeling herself starting to get worked up. Her hand slides under the brunette’s shirt and rubs up and down the girl’s side, her fingers sometimes almost gripping onto her skin out of sexual need and frustration. She moves her kisses down Lexa’s neck, biting and sucking on the smooth skin.

 

This girl is just so intoxicating. 

 

She starts to hear Lexa whimpering under her and feels her getting a little fidgety underneath her, but not in a distressed way. If anything, she’s trying to pull Clarke even closer to her. Which, Clarke happily obliges to and moves fully on top of her girlfriend, settling in between the girl’s legs.

 

After a second, she realizes how heated this is getting and she pulls her head away from Lexa’s neck and looks down at the brunette. “Are you okay?” She asks breathlessly. She has to resist the urge from just going back to kissing the girl, seeing her disheveled and panting underneath her. Instead, she reaches up and pushes some of Lexa’s curly hair out of her face, trying to get a read on her. 

 

Lexa just nods her head, her eyes still a little dazed over, her mind foggy. She can barely focus on anything right now, except for Clarke.

 

“Do you want me to stop?” Clarke asks. She’s really hoping that Lexa says no, but if the girl does want to then she’ll respect that and be happy to just cuddle her. 

 

But she’d be happier to continue what they’re doing. 

 

“No,” Lexa breathes out, her voice low and raspy. It’s the sexiest sound that Clarke has ever heard. She has to hold back another groan.

 

“Good,” Clarke barely gets out before crashing their lips together again. She slides her hand up Lexa’s side, letting it brush over the brunette’s bra. She feels Lexa’s hips buck up into her at the contact and she takes that a sign that it’s okay to keep going. So she slowly starts to knead the flesh in her hand, kissing Lexa fiercely and still trying to pay attention to any warning signs that she should stop.

 

They continue to get even more desperate and needy in their motions, until Lexa breaks away from the kiss breathlessly. “Clarke...” she moans out, her hips involuntarily bucking up into Clarke again. 

 

The blonde pulls back and looks down at the girl, making sure that she’s still okay. She looks flustered, but she doesn’t look like she needs to stop or anything. She looks hot, and Clarke can barely control herself. “What is it baby?” She asks, before moving down and kissing Lexa’s neck again, her hand slipping underneath the brunette’s bra.

 

This pulls a gasp out of Lexa, her chest heaving up into Clarke’s hand. “I-...” she starts to say, but gets cut off by a moan ripping through her throat as Clarke bites down on her skin. “I- don’t.. I-...” she tries to say, but doesn’t really know what she wants to say. Her brain isn’t really making sentences right now.

 

The answer makes Clarke pull away to look down at the brunette and study her. She looks confused and like she might be starting to get a little worked up in a bad way, but not quite yet. It only takes Clarke a few seconds to realize what is going on. Especially when she notices the brunette’s hips bucking up into hers.

 

Lexa is turned on and she doesn’t really realize what the feeling is.

 

It’s confusing her. 

 

Clarke smiles down at her and runs her fingers through Lexa’s hair, trying to calm her. “You’re turned on,” Clarke informs her with a gentle smile, though there is a bit of a smirk to it. “Do you want me to stop?” Clarke asks again, seeing how conflicted the girl seems. But she knows it’s just because Lexa has never had this feeling before. She’s not sure what it is or what to do.

 

“I-...” Lexa starts to say but then furrows her brows. “No.” 

 

Clarke smiles at her again and nods her head. “Do you want me to help you?” She asks softly. “Do you want me to touch you?” She asks, just to clarify what she meant by help. 

 

Lexa looks alarmed for a millisecond, before she swallows and just nods her head. “Yes,” she finally breathes out, voicing her answer.

 

Clarke fully pulls back and looks down at the brunette, looking for any red flags, but surprisingly she sees none. She sees a little bit of nervousness on the girl’s face, but mostly just need and want. So she nods her head and leans back down, pressing her lips against Lexa’s.

 

Once, she feels Lexa starting to get lost in the kiss once again, she slowly lets her hand slide from under Lexa’s bra and down her stomach. She lets her fingers dip under the waistband of Lexa’s pants, but not in her underwear. She keeps going further and starts to rub her fingers over Lexa’s clit.

 

Lexa lets out a loud gasp, pulling her mouth away from Clarke’s. And Clarke can’t help but moan at how wet she can feel Lexa is, even through her underwear. She moves her lips back down Lexa’s neck, knowing that the girl needs to be able to breathe properly from her mouth at the moment.

 

“Clarke...” Lexa breathes out, after a minute and it sounds desperate. 

 

Clarke can feel herself soaking through her underwear, just at how hot Lexa sounds right now. She can tell by the desperation in Lexa’s tone that she needs more. She slides her hand up a bit and hears Lexa let out a disappointed grunt. It makes the blonde smirk. But she pulls away to be able to look down at Lexa as she slides her hand into Lexa’s underwear.

 

When she sees no sign of Lexa protesting, she starts back up the same motion over Lexa’s clit, though this time making actual contact. The action pulls a whine from Lexa’s lips, and her hips buck up into Clarke’s hand. She sees green eyes close and though, she’d like to keep that eye contact, she knows that it’s a difficult task for her right now. 

 

Clarke is just happy to stare down at her, taking in all of her features. She looks so unbelievably hot, that Clarke almost feels like she can come without even being touched herself. 

 

And she kind of can’t believe this is happening. 

 

She knew it’d happen eventually, but she hadn’t exactly planned on it happening today. 

 

She’s obviously not complaining though. 

 

Lexa’s fingers grip onto Clarke’s shoulders, almost like she’s trying to ground herself, and keep herself from floating away. She’s never felt anything like this before, and she had no idea that she could feel this good.

 

“Do you want me inside?” Clarke whispers next to Lexa’s ear, wanting to make sure she’s okay with everything that she does, before she does it. 

 

Lexa moans in response, her back arching up into Clarke. She doesn’t let out any other vocal comment, but she does nod her head pretty vigorously. 

 

Clarke nods her head, and leans down, placing a gentle kiss to Lexa’s lips, but pulls away after a second. “Let me know if you want me to stop okay?” She tells her softly. She waits until the brunette opens her eyes and nods her head, before she continues. 

 

Slowly, she slides one finger into Lexa, moaning at the feel of how wet and warm she is. She tries not to get lost in the feeling and keeps her focus on Lexa’s face, waiting on the first sign that she should stop. But, Lexa just tips her head back, letting out a moan, her eyes squeezing shut once again.

 

“Is this okay?” Clarke asks softly, as she pulls her finger out and slowly pushes back inside of Lexa. 

 

She watches Lexa’s neck move up and down as she swallows hard. Then her mouth opens like she’s going to say something, but she closes it back and groans. Her mind is still not forming coherent sentences. 

 

Everything is almost too much for her, which would normally be a bad thing, but right now it’s like she can’t get enough. It’s almost like she wants more, which is strange. But, she’s not going to question it. It’s the first time that she’s felt so much and not disliked it or had a meltdown over it. 

 

“Feels so good...” she finally gasps out. 

 

There. Words, finally. 

 

Clarke starts thrusting her finger in and out at a faster speed, seeing now that Lexa is okay with the intrusion. She also starts to rub her thumb against Lexa’s clit, wanting to give her even more pleasure. She sees red spots all over Lexa’s neck, but she can’t help but dive back in, probably adding more. 

 

She doesn’t care right now. She can’t get enough of Lexa. But she’s not so certain that Lexa could kiss her back right now.

 

When she feels Lexa’s fingers start to grip her shoulders even tighter, she starts going at an even faster speed. The girl’s breathing becomes even more shallow and she can hear little whines escaping her lips quite consecutively. She’s pretty sure that this means Lexa is about to come. 

 

“Clarke...” Lexa gasps out, sounding a mix between being in complete pleasure and a bit nervousness and confusion. 

 

“It’s okay, baby,” Clarke coos into her ear, placing soft kisses along the girl’s jaw and cheek. “Let go, baby. I’ve got you.” She says softly, trying to help the girl. She can tell that Lexa is starting to feel her climax and might be getting a little overwhelmed or confused by the feeling.

 

In a second, Lexa’s fingernails are digging into Clarke’s shoulder blades, making the blonde groan. Even though, she’s not complaining about it. It’s actually pretty fucking hot to her. 

 

She feels Lexa’s body tense up completely underneath her and hears a high pitched moan escape the brunette’s lips.

 

Clarke continues thrusting into the girl, feeling the muscles tensing around her fingers. She groans into Lexa’s neck, trying to control her own feelings, because she’s getting herself extremely worked up as well. Never has she been this close to coming and this turned on, just by getting someone else off. It’s almost as good as someone touching her.

 

Once, she feels Lexa’s body relax underneath her, she starts to slow her thrusts down, bringing Lexa down gently. She pulls away from her neck and places feather light kisses all over the girl’s face. 

 

After a minute, she stops completely and pulls out of the brunette, looking down at her with a smile. Lexa’s eyes are still closed as she rides out the rest of her pleasure, and her body is almost like jelly underneath Clarke. “Are you okay?” Clarke asks softly, nudging her girlfriend’s cheek with her nose. 

 

Lexa smiles, before slowly opening her eyes, green meeting blue. She nods her head slowly, her eyes still trying to focus on the blonde above her. 

 

“That was amazing...” Lexa says softly. “I-...” she says, but then stops and inhales deeply through her nose, still trying to get her breathing under control. As well as her thoughts. “I didn’t know that I could feel like that...” she says, her face turning a little red.

 

Clarke smiles proudly and places a soft kiss on Lexa’s lips. She wipes her fingers off on the sheets next to her and brings her hand up, brushing some hair out of Lexa’s face. “I’m glad that you enjoyed it.” She says with a smirk. “I like making you feel good,” she admits. 

 

Lexa smiles back at her and nods her head. She then reaches up and pulls Clarke into a deep kiss. 

 

Clarke moans into the kiss and can’t help, but grind herself down into the girl beneath her. She can’t remember ever being this turned on in her life. But, she also doesn’t want to make Lexa do anything that she isn’t comfortable with. She can always take care of herself if she has to. 

 

But, Lexa seems to have other plans for her. 

 

Lexa’s hand, is a little shaky as it starts to travel down Clarke’s stomach. Though, she stops right above the blonde’s jeans. “I want to... I want to touch you too..” Lexa says, pulling away from the kiss. She looks up into blue eyes, her green ones filled with nerves. “But, I don’t know how..” she says, feeling a little embarrassed. She’s worried that she’s not going to be able to make Clarke feel good. 

 

And after the way that Clarke just made her feel, that’s just not acceptable. 

 

“It’s okay.” Clarke says softly. “I’ll help you.. But you don’t have to.” She says, caressing Lexa’s face with her fingers, softly. She just doesn’t want her to feel pressured to do anything. 

 

“I want to.” Lexa says firmly.

 

Clarke nods her head and smiles, leaning back down to kiss Lexa. She reaches down and unbuttons and unzips her own jeans, before grabbing Lexa’s hand that is still resting in between their lower stomachs. “Just do what feels right, and I’ll help guide you, alright?”

 

Lexa swallows nervously, but nods her head. “Okay,” she says with a shaky breath. 

 

Clarke guides Lexa’s hands into her pants and into her underwear. She closes her eyes and sighs blissfully as soon as she feels Lexa’s fingers touching her. She starts to guide Lexa’s fingers in a circular motion around her clit, and she can’t help but groan. 

 

She drops her forehead against Lexa’s shoulders, and lets go of the girl’s hand, letting Lexa start to take the lead. Her fingers are still shaky and a little unsure, but it still feels heavenly. Though, she needs more. She’s already so worked up, that she can’t take the teasing. 

 

She gently takes Lexa’s hand again and grabs two of her fingers, slowly guiding them inside of herself. She moans, when she feels Lexa start to push her fingers in on her own, taking the hint. “Yes...” Clarke groans, bucking her hips down into the brunette’s fingers. “Feels so good, baby,” she encourages. 

 

Lexa is still nervous, but she’s also amazed. She’d never touched herself before, and she had no idea what to expect out of this, or how it would feel. “You’re so wet,” she whispers out in amazement. She looks down between them and watches as Clarke starts to ride her fingers. She can barely see it because of how close they are, but when Clarke rises, she can see between them just a bit and see her fingers disappearing inside of the girl. 

 

She’s surprised at how much just that sight turns her on all over again. 

 

Clarke starts whimpering into Lexa’s neck and she starts to grind her hips down into Lexa’s fingers harder. “Lexa... touch my clit.. Please,” she says, desperately. 

 

She reaches down and guides Lexa’s thumb over her clit, swiping it. But, she realizes that Lexa starts to fumble a bit with trying to thrust inside of her and use her thumb at the same time. So Clarke grabs Lexa’s other hand and guides it down to her clit, guiding her fingers in a circular motion. 

 

“Just like that baby...” she groans. “I’m so close..” 

 

She lets out a loud moan and then pulls herself away from Lexa’s neck, pressing her lips desperately against Lexa’s own. Her hips start grinding even more urgently against Lexa as she feels her orgasm start to take over her body.

 

It only takes a few more thrusts, until her body is shaking, white spots filling her vision. 

 

Lexa just watches in amazement as Clarke comes undone above her. It makes her wonder if that’s what she had looked like when she reached her climax. 

 

But there is no way that she looked as beautiful as Clarke does.

 

Once Clarke feels herself coming down, she practically collapses on top of Lexa. She groans, and reaches down, placing her hand over Lexa’s to stop her and pull her hands away from her sensitive center. 

 

She lets out a big exhale and buries her nose in Lexa’s neck, reeling in her post orgasmic state. Her whole body feels like it’s on fire and she can still feel the tingles all over. 

 

“Was that okay?” Lexa asks quietly, after a few moments. 

 

Clarke inhales, finding the energy to pull herself up off of Lexa to look down at her. She gives the brunette a dazed smile, and brings her hand up, caressing Lexa’s face. “I can’t feel my legs.” she says with a smirk. But, Lexa frowns at her, making the blonde smile even more. “Yes, Lexa..” she says with a giggle. “That was the best orgasm that I think I’ve ever had.” She admits. 

 

Lexa’s eyes widen, like she can’t believe what she is hearing. No way, it could have been that good. She had no idea what she was doing. “Really?” She asks simply, not really knowing what else to say to that. She’d been so nervous and scared that she couldn’t make Clarke feel good. 

 

“Really.” Clarke nods. She smiles at her girlfriend and leans down, pressing her lips against Lexa’s. 

 

She then rolls over, getting off of the brunette, landing on her back. She lets out a deep exhale and then rolls her head to the side, looking at Lexa who is watching her. She just reaches out and starts running her fingers through Lexa’s hair. “I’m so happy that I found you.” She says, affectionately. 

 

Lexa blushes, but gives Clarke the brightest smile that she thinks she’s ever seen. “Me too.”

 

\---

 

Clarke smirks at the girl in her arms and then bites down on her lip, looking at her through her lashes. 

 

Lexa just raises a brow at her, looking a little confused. “What?” She asks, slowly, a little afraid by the mischievous look that Clarke has on her face. There is no telling what her girlfriend is thinking. 

 

“You can still see the hickey’s pretty bad.” Clarke says, with one of those ‘sorry not sorry’ looks on her face. Lexa is waiting on Anya to pick her up for the weekend right now, and they’d tried covering them up with makeup the best that they could. But, it hadn’t worked out too well. 

 

They’re not overly noticeable, but she’s pretty sure that at some point over the weekend Anya will notice them. 

 

Lexa frowns and brings a hand up to her neck, but Clarke swats her hand away. “Stop touching them, it’ll make the makeup come off.” She tells her. Not that the makeup did much in the first place.

 

Lexa lets out a huff, but drops her hand back down to Clarke’s forearms. “Anya is going to freak out,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes a bit. She thinks it’s ridiculous how against Lexa having sex, Anya is. But, she kind of gets it at the same time. It’s not like she wants to hear about Anya having sex. Though, she doesn’t care that the girl does. But, she also figures that their relationship is different as well. Anya is her big sister, whereas she is the little sister that Anya has taken care of, almost like her child.

 

“Yeah...” Clarke says slowly, trying to look upset as well, but she can’t help but smirk a little. “I don’t want her to hate me even more.” She says honestly. “But, I think it’ll be a little funny as well.” She admits, trying not to laugh. 

 

Lexa swats her on the shoulder, but can’t help but laugh as well. “You aren’t the one that will have to listen to her freak out.” Lexa says matter of fact. 

 

“I’m sure that in the future I’ll get plenty of lectures and freak outs from Anya.” Clarke tells her pointedly. “That comes after the cold shoulder and the glares.” She smiles. 

 

Lexa just giggles and shakes her head. “I’m just happy that she hasn’t scared you away yet.” She says honestly, leaning her head on Clarke’s shoulder, and burying her nose in her neck.

 

Clarke pulls Lexa a little closer to her, letting her hands that had been resting on the brunette’s hips, wrap around her waist, holding her close. “I’ve told you before.. Nothing can scare me away from you.” She says with a smile. “Not even the big bad sister.” She says with a small giggle, pulling away a little to get Lexa to look at her. She then leans in and captures Lexa’s lips with her own. 

 

After a minute, the two of them pull apart and Clarke rests her forehead against Lexa’s. “I should be used to you leaving on the weekends, but I think it just gets harder every time.” She says with a sad smile. Though, she breathes out a small chuckle, trying to keep the mood as light as possible, even though she’s pretty upset over it.

 

“I know.. The weekends used to be my favorite part of the week. I’d look forward to nothing, but being back at Anya’s... with her..” She starts to say softly. “But now, I almost don’t even want to go.. I mean, I do, but I also hate being away from you all weekend. It’s pretty conflicting.” She says with a frown. 

 

Clarke smiles at her and brings her hand up to the girl’s neck, letting her thumb caress over Lexa’s cheek. “I know that it’s something you need to do, and I get it.” She says with a nod, not wanting Lexa to feel bad or anything. Because she does get it. “Maybe sometime soon, Anya would let me come along as well...” she says, though she’s not sure if that’ll ever happen. 

 

“I’ll talk to her about it.” Lexa nods. 

 

“Though, this may make us take a few steps back...” Clarke smirks, letting her fingers brush over the marks on Lexa’s neck. 

 

Lexa quickly swats her hand away this time. “Stop touching it.” she scolds, repeating Clarke’s words only moments ago. 

 

Clarke just sticks her tongue out at Lexa, moving her hand away. She then pulls the girl back into a kiss, this one a little more passionate than the last. Surprisingly, Lexa gets more into it than Clarke would have expected, being in public. It’s not overly passionate or anything, but she feels Lexa’s fingers tangling in her hair, pulling her closer to her.

 

However, it doesn’t last as long as either of them would like because they get interrupted by a car horn. 

 

Clarke sighs as she pulls away, because she can already tell by the annoyance of how long the honk was that it is Anya. Glancing over to her side, it’s confirmed when she sees the girl parking on the curb next to them, glaring at Clarke already. 

 

“Oh yay...” Clarke says sarcastically, rolling her eyes a bit. 

 

Lexa chuckles and pulls herself away from her girlfriend. She turns her attention to her big sister who is getting out of her car. “Hey, Anya.” She greets, happy to see the girl. Even though, she does still have mixed feelings about having to leave Clarke again. 

 

“Hey baby sis.” She says, as she places her sunglasses on top of her head. She reaches out and gives her little sister a hug, before turning to look at the girlfriend. “Clarke.” she says, forcing out the best smile that she can. Which, just looks a little scary, honestly. 

 

“Hey, Anya...” Clarke says in return, smiling back at her, though she looks a bit hesitant. She’s not as intimidated by the girl for the most part. She’s kind of over it, if anything. Though, she does still want to make a good impression and have the girl like her. So she holds off on the eye roll. 

 

For Lexa. 

 

She leans down and grabs Lexa’s bags and walks around to the back of the car, where Anya has already lifted up the hatch. She places the bags in and then turns back to her girlfriend who is smiling at her. 

 

“Thank you.” She says cutely, giving Clarke an adoring smile. Clarke puts her bags away for her every time, but Lexa is still just as thankful for it, every time. 

 

“My pleasure,” Clarke smirks, placing her hands on the girl’s hips and leaning in to kiss her. Though, she makes sure not to make it too heated, considering the big sister is still standing right next to them. Instead, she pulls away and rests her forehead against Lexa’s, and looks into her eyes. “I’ll miss you.” She smiles. 

 

“I’ll miss you too.” Lexa returns, her smile just as bright as Clarke’s. 

 

Clarke kisses her one more time and then pulls away with a sigh. “Alright, I guess I have to let you go now.” She says, dramatically. 

 

Lexa just giggles at her and nods her head. “I guess so.” she says with a small shrug. She gives Clarke a small squeeze before pulling away from the blonde completely. Though, they wait until the absolute last minute to let go with their hands.

 

Anya rolls her eyes at how gross they’re being, and tries hard not to make gagging noises. 

 

She’s trying to be nicer for Lexa as well. 

 

Trying. 

 

Lexa walks over to the passenger side and opens the door. Just as she’s about to get in, she stops and runs back over to Clarke. 

 

Anya pauses and watches her little sister over the top of the car, not really sure what she is doing or if something is wrong. 

 

Clarke looks just as confused as her girlfriend approaches her. But, she takes Lexa’s hands in her own and waits for her to say something.

 

“I um... I’ve been wanting to ask you something... but I kept getting too nervous...” she admits with a shy smile. 

 

This just makes Clarke even more confused. “You can ask me anything.” Clarke tells her with furrowed brows. She brings a hand up and caresses the girl’s face gently, trying to convey to her that it’s okay. She can tell that Lexa is nervous and she just wants her to be able to feel comfortable saying or asking whatever she wants. Clarke would never judge her.

 

Lexa nods her head and takes in a deep breath. “I um...” She says, and then looks down, her lips twitching from side to side. A clear, nervous tick that Clarke knows all too well by now. “Um... will you go on a date with me?” Lexa asks, in almost a whisper. “I mean.. When I get back..”

 

Clarke almost starts laughing, but realizes how nervous Lexa actually is, so she doesn’t. “Lexa of course, I’ll go out on a date with you.” She says with a wide smile, and can’t help but chuckle a bit. “You had me worried for a second.” She says, shaking her head at her girlfriend. 

 

Lexa just blushes even harder and looks down at her feet, shuffling a bit. She knows that she shouldn’t have been so nervous to ask such a simple question. Especially since Clarke is already her girlfriend. It’s not like she’s asking her out for the first time. But, it’s her first time being the one to ask Clarke out and as dumb as it may be, it was nerve wracking for her. And a big step. 

 

“Okay...good.” She says, a bit awkwardly, but feeling relieved. 

 

“Come here you,” Clarke laughs, pulling Lexa in by her cheeks for a kiss. She pulls away after a second, and smiles at her blushing girlfriend. “I’ll see you when you get back. And I can’t wait for our date.”

 

Lexa just smiles at her, and gives her a nod, before turning around and heading back to the car, her movements a little bit awkward. She had told herself that she was going to do it before she went to Anya’s this weekend. And maybe she waited until the absolute last minute, but she still did it. And she’s pretty proud of herself. 

 

Anya raises a brow at her little sister, still watching her over the car. “Wow, I had no idea that you had such game.” She says, teasingly. 

 

“Shut up,” Lexa grumbles, getting into the car with pout.

 

Clarke can’t help but laugh at the two, still reeling at how fucking adorable her girlfriend is.

 

She also still can’t believe that the awkward blushing girl that could barely ask her on a date just now, gave her one of the best orgasms of her life just two days ago. 

 

She feels like one of those memes that say get you a girl that can do both.

 

She definitely has that. 

 

And she couldn’t be happier.  
\---

 

Clarke stumbles out onto the back porch, pushing past the people that are littering it, smoking. She makes her way to the edge and sits down on the steps, thankfully alone. She’s tired of being around these people and she just wants to be by herself for a few minutes. 

 

She takes a big gulp of the drink in her hand, cringing at how strong she’d made it. Though at this point, she’s surprised that she can even still taste the liquor with how drunk she already is. She lets out a huff and pulls her cell phone out of her pocket, pushing a button that makes the home screen light up. 

 

She sees the picture of her and Lexa on her homescreen and frowns. The girl has been gone to her sister’s house a day, and she already misses her like crazy. Normally she’d think that she’s insane and would tell herself she’ll be fine, but right now she’s drunk and she doesn’t care how clingy or needy she’s being. 

 

She text Lexa three in the last 15 minutes and the girl hasn’t responded to her. And that makes her frown even more. She wants to text her again, but even in her drunk state, she realizes that that is a little much. Obviously Lexa is asleep or something and isn’t going to respond.

 

She feels someone come up behind her, but she doesn’t move to look. And then the next thing she knows, Octavia is sitting down on the step next to her. The dark haired girl just about spills the drink on her hand and starts giggling. 

 

Normally, it’d make Clarke giggle as well, but she’s not in the mood for that right now. “Lexa won’t text me back.” she says a huge pout on her face. She even starts to have tears forming in her eyes. “I miss her so much and I just want to talk to her!” She slurs, swaying on her spot. She opens her phone to say fuck it and send Lexa another text message, but she can barely see to type.

 

“Clarke, it’s like 2am. She’s probably asleep.” Octavia says matter of fact. 

 

Clarke keeps frowning though, and just lets out a huff, not really responding to Octavia. She knows that she’s right, but she’s drunk and misses her girlfriend. Especially now after they’ve had sex, she misses her anymore. She finally got a taste and she can’t get enough. Her horniess also gets worse when she’s drunk, so that’s not helping.

 

“Come on,” Octavia says, slapping Clarke’s thigh. “Let’s go mingle and have fun!” she shouts excitedly. 

 

Clarke grumbles under her breath and folds her arms tightly across her chest. “I don’t like any of these people! They’re all stupid!” she groans. “Lexa is smart.. And funny... and so pretty...” She says, a smile returning to her face at the thought of her girlfriend. “O, she’s so pretty.” She says, almost in amazement. 

 

Octavia just giggles and nudges Clarke’s shoulder. “I know, Clarke. She’s a hottie.” She smirks. “You got lucky.”

 

Clarke hums out in agreement and nods her head. “I hate that she goes to her stupid sister’s every weekend! Her sister is so mean to me!” She moans, stomping her foot against the deck.

 

“What’s up guys?” They hear from behind them, but only Octavia turns to look at the voice. She sees Lincoln and Bellamy standing behind her, her brother lighting up a cigarette. 

 

Octavia grins at the sight of them. “Clarke is just being whiney and annoying because she misses her girlfriendddd....” she drags out, rolling her eyes as she nudges the blonde next to her, mocking her. But all in good fun of course. 

 

Lincoln smirks and looks down at the blonde. Of course he doesn’t want Clarke to be unhappy, because he likes her, but he also likes the fact that she seems to be so into his little sister. Previously, she’d been the life of the party, but now it seems like she can’t even have a good time while Lexa is away. 

 

“I assume things are going well between you guys.” He says, and she turns around more to look at him. “I mean, between the things that she has told me and by the huge hickeys on your neck.” He grins, pointing to the blonde’s neck with one finger, using the hand he’s holding his cup with. “I mean, as weird as it is to say this.. That better be from my sister.” he says with a frown. Not that he wants to hear about her having sex anymore than Anya does, but that’d mean it was from someone else and that would be even worse. 

 

“Of course it’s from her,” Clarke blurts out, her hand covering the mark. 

 

Octavia just bursts out laughing at her best friend, swatting her hand away, to get a better look at the marks. Even though, she’s already seen them. “Your sister did some good work.” Octavia smirks. But as soon as she looks up and sees the glare on Lincoln’s face, she quickly wipes the smirk away. 

 

“I’m just going to go inside before I have to hear anymore about my sister’s sex life.” he just about cringes, before turning to walk away. 

 

Bellamy watches him walk away with a smirk and then turns back to his sister and Clarke. “Come in and play some beer pong with us.” He suggests. “Just don’t make any more inappropriate comments about his little sister.” he says, looking at both girls pointedly. 

 

“I didn’t even say it!” Clarke defends, her words still slurred. “I could have told him about how she gave me the best orgasm of my life...” she says, looking at him pointedly. “But, I didn’t.” She adds, matter of fact, feeling pretty proud of herself.

 

Octavia just about screams, as she starts laughing at Clarke’s comment. “Oh my God, he would kill you.” She says, not being able to control her giggles. She’d told Octavia about how they’d had sex, and Octavia of course bombarded her with questions. Though, Clarke had been pretty vague about it, not feeling right telling her every detail, just because she didn’t know how Lexa would feel. 

 

Octavia had been pretty surprised that they already slept together. And even more surprised that it had gone well. Not to say that she didn’t think Lexa could be good at it. She just knew how much Clarke had been freaking out about it. Not wanting to make Lexa uncomfortable or anything. And that had been a fear of hers as well. That it would be too much for her.

 

But, she is happy for them. And she only felt a tiny hint of jealousy, which is good.

 

Bellamy just laughs and shakes his head, throwing his cigarette over the porch railing. “Come on.” He says, nudging the back of Clarke’s head, before turning and walking inside.

 

\---

 

Anya glances across the table at her little sister who is devouring her dinner like she hasn’t eaten in days. Which she knows isn’t true, because they’d had dinner the night before together, plus lunch earlier today. She just smirks and shakes her head at the girl, before raising a brow, her face turning serious. “Clarke, not feeding you?” She jokes. 

 

Lexa rolls her eyes at her sister, letting out a small huff. “I can feed myself.” She says matter of fact, her mouth still full of food. “But, she makes sure that I eat, and she has started to learn my schedule and what I eat on what days. It’s nice.” She smiles. “If she gets dinner or takes me out, she’s sure to double check on what day it is.”

 

Lexa looks back down at her food and misses the unimpressed look and the small grunt that comes out of Anya’s mouth. 

 

Maybe, she’s being a little too hard on Clarke, just   
. But, she can’t help how protective she is over her little sister. She’s watched Lexa their entire life get picked on and bullied by so many people around them. And Lexa is a very trusting person. Which means that Anya has to be a lot less trusting to look out for her.

 

And sure, she’s starting to actually like Clarke, or the idea of her. She still hasn’t really had a proper conversation with the girl sans when she calls to get help from her for Lexa. Which, is one of the major things that she appreciates. Clarke has seen Lexa at her worst and she’s witnessed the negative effects of having Asperger’s yet she’s still here. She’s still wanting to be with Lexa. 

 

That gives her a lot of points.

 

And she’s actually taking the time to get to know her and learn things about her. Learn things that will help her.

 

A few minutes go by and Anya realizes that she’s just been staring at Lexa caught up in her thoughts. Though Lexa hasn’t even noticed, because she’s too invested in her food. But, it’s when Anya notices something on Lexa’s neck that pulls her completely from her thoughts, and crashing back down to Earth.

 

“What the hell is that?” She just about shouts, her eyes widening as she leans closer to get a better look. 

 

How was she just now noticing it? She’s been with Lexa since last night. Granted, it was only in the car and distractedly as she helped Lexa unpack her things and eat some dinner over pretty dim lighting.. And then she worked most of today. 

 

But still, she should have noticed. 

 

“Umm...” Lexa says, and swallows the food in her mouth down hard. It kind of hurts her throat a little. “It’s... a...I- 

 

“A hickey.” Anya supplies for her, a frown set firmly on her face.

 

“Yes.” Lexa says simply, looking down at her food that she’s now just picking at.

 

Anya takes in a deep breath, and tries to rein herself in because she knows that she can’t start shouting right now. “Okay...” she says slowly, trying hard to convince herself and maybe Lexa as well that she’s okay with it. Though, they both know that she is not. 

 

At all. 

 

“So... are you... have you guys...” she says, but then stops and lets out a groan. She doesn’t even like to think about her little sister having sex, and saying the words out loud are even harder. “Are you having sex?” She asks, calmly. Or as calm as she can. 

 

Lexa chews on her bottom lip for a moment and then nods her head. “We.. the first time was a few days ago...” she admits quietly. 

 

Anya closes her eyes and once again nods her head, breathing out deeply. “Okay,” she says, her voice a little more high pitched than she’d planned on it being. “That’s-... okay. Great. Cool.. I’m.. happy for you....” she says, her fists clenching in her lap. 

 

Lexa furrows her brows and looks over at her sister, and can’t really tell what is happening. She’s never seen her sister look the way she does right now, and she’s never heard her voice sound as high as it does right now. She’s pretty confused. “Anya?” She questions, because she doesn’t like being confused. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Anya says, quickly. “I’m just trying really hard not to overreact or to drive back to Polis and kill her.” She says honestly, but with a smile on her face. A smile that is a little scary.

 

“Anya...” Lexa says again, but this time with a frustrated sigh. “I really like Clarke, okay?” She sighs. “And it was nice.. She was.. She made sure I was okay and comfortable the whole time.” She says, but almost regrets it because she sees Anya’s fists clench again. 

 

Okay, maybe she shouldn’t be giving details about it, no matter how vague. 

 

“She cares about me Anya. And I’m 18, it’s going to happen...” she says, slowly, not wanting to further upset her sister, but also trying to get through to her. 

 

Anya just nods her head and sighs once again. “I know...” she just about groans. “Look, Lex, I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to get used to this...” she says, and then adds in a “but,” when she sees Lexa about to start talking again. “I promise I won’t kill Clarke.” She says with a nod. “Maybe just hurt her a bit.” She adds with a smile, pretty pleased with her own answer. 

 

“Anya...” Lexa groans, throwing her head back against the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it guys! They had the sex! 
> 
> Again, I am so sorry this took so long, but as always, I'd love to hear what you guys think! I have no intention of giving up on this, even when it takes me awhile to update. Unless, you guys aren't interested anymore, or feel that I am losing touch. So, please leave some feedback for me!! Thank you guys for the patience!


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